Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Pucker up

They say when it rain it pours, but this is ridiculous. You go days, weeks, months without any good, tasty lesbianish happenings and then – BOOM – a ton of them blow up all at once. We’ve got Sandra Bullock kissing Scarlett Johansson at the MTV Movie Awards for no other reason than it’s hot to kiss Scarlett Johansson. Somewhere Meryl Streep is seething with jealousy. Then we’ve got Ruby Rose and Kim Stolz tweeting what everyone else’s gaydar already told them: Kristen Stewart seems mighty gay. Their tweets were followed by adorable Twitter death threats from Twihard wingnuts who think calling KStew (forevermore affectionately redubbed GayStew) a lesbian is slander. It’s not, kids. Also, vampires aren’t real. And finally we’ve got little Miley Cyrus air kissing a female dancer and then blowing her defense of the act by saying because their lips didn’t touch that she “did nothing wrong.” Once more with feeling: Kissing girls isn’t “wrong” or “bad” or “slanderous.” It’s just awesome. Also, did you know Cybill Shepherd has another lesbian daughter (scroll to the end)? I know! It’s totally pouring. And I’m probably missing something.

So amid this downpour I have only one thing to say: Look, straight (and gayish) ladies who want to publicly (or secretly) make out with other ladies – cool it. I’m going on vacation tomorrow for two weeks. Don’t do all your gay stuff while I’m gone and therefore can’t comment snarkily on it. I don’t want to miss all the ridiculousness. Well, OK, I could do with a little less ridiculous in some cases. I mean, what the hell was that Sandy-ScarJo kiss all about anyway? While I’m not complaining about the act itself (a refresher, girls kissing is always awesome). But I am complaining about the reasoning. For laughs? For the straight boys? For attention? Jezebel has a great rundown of the reasoning for each instant of straight-girl on straight-girl smooching. Sure, this trend of fauxmosexual snogs is good for a giggle and to fuel our most feverish wishful thinking. And ultimately, I don’t think it really hurts us – in a strange way may help normalize the concept. But call me when the real homosexuals show up. What can I say, I like my kisses to count.


Mandi said...

Agreed. Personally, when it stops getting them attention I feel like the number of straight girls kisses will decline. But, who knows? Maybe they are just having a good time?

Big Shamu said...

Ok. Yes. It would be nice if two straight women kissing wasn't a stunt.
Still nobody is going to mess with my Sandy moment of kissing another woman. Now if she would just have a late in life coming out moment.

Vero said...

well i dont mind. two straight hot women kissing is deffs a turn on to lez teens

Urban Jointz said...

Live and let live is what I say!

Lola said...

Love Sandra, 4-ever. And I must agree: Kristin is such a baby-dyke, even if she is seeing that cute boy!

Norma Desmond said...

Cybill Shepherd must be the best mom ever. I mean, to raise not one but TWO gay daughters? Amazing.

As for the straight girls kissing, I couldn't care less. Let them do whatever they want. If in some way it normalizes girls kissing, well, I guess it's a good thing? I don't. It seems to be one of those issues that has no right answer (is it good? it is bad?).

Patricia said...

Since I find kissing such a intimate moment, these public and (apparently) meaningless mouth to mouth are just a show off... although SB (for me) could give KStew some tips about tobenottobe a lesbian in the Hollywood meat processing machine.

vrgriffith said...

There is a part of me that thinks it's just stupid fun. We've seen stuff like this before; metrosexuals anyone. It'll run its course soon enough.

KStew is very young and has a right to live her life. The kind of unending overreaching scrutiny is what ended up psychologically smothering Kurt Colbain and River Phoenix.

Does being able to get into clubs for free, getting free designer clothes and the other perks of stardom mean that you voluntarily sacrifice your privacy on the altar of the publics incessant need to know?

I truly feel sorry for her. If she is gay, i think she faces the same fears and stresses that Portia De Rossi faced at that age. Maybe it's even worst with the 24/7 "news" cycle and smartphone photo journalists.

We're talking about her career and future earnings. That's the reality. I think we should respect her privacy. How long did it take Jodi Foster? Same goes if she's straight.

Anonymous said...

okay, have a nice holiday,
and who actually cares who kissed who?
It's not high school toddler society.
I didn't kiss to anyone. maybe my cup.

I got that coming out first and
start something. right?

I'll consider, but don't trust me,
just live, It's your life.
If you find someone, go for it okay?
don't waste time wondering is this person, so on.

don't choose me cus you feel compassion.
you'll choose me when I'm ready,
and you have room for me in your heart
at the time. maybe future, I don't know.

what I'm talking about as the usual,
I'm talking to myself. :)

posting something everyday is very hard work.
thanks for all the hard work.
I like women land anyway.
rest of world is not like that,
so why not stop by this place?

see you!

Anonymous said...

I need to reiterate what I said the last time - straight girls kissing is lame and a game and it feels like they don't get that the sex I seek with women is not for show or for laughs or to shock but for authentic lust or love. So I could care less but I wish they would care more.

Anonymous said...

Fauxmosexual is my new favourite word : )