Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Acid Wash vs. Day Glo

So not to date myself (who am I kidding, I always date myself), but I certainly got a chuckle out of the news that Debbie Gibson and Tiffany were going to star – and fight – in a new SyFy film. The 80s teen pop idols will star in “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.” No, I am not kidding. Debbie will play “a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.” In the script they get into a fight at a party which ends up in a swamp. Naturally.

Now, children of the 80s like me know that the Debbie or Tiffany question was one of the defining questions of our era. It was the Team Edward or Team Jacob of our time. The way you answered it framed you as this or that kind of person. Well, at least that’s how it played out in my head. I was all Team Debbie. Tiffany sang in malls – malls, people. But Debbie, she shook her love. Totally different.

In my adolescent mind, Debbie was much classier. But then, they both ended up posing naked in Playboy. So, I guess I just further proved the truism that preteen girls should never be arbiters of public taste.

Of course, this is a genius way to settle all real (or imagined) pop culture rivalries. Schlocky sci-fi movies should become our go-to way to once and for all settle the matter of supremacy. Angelina Jolie vs. Jennifer Aniston in “Ultra Fox vs. Mega Friend.” Rosie O’Donnell vs. Elisabeth Hasselbeck in “King Kong vs. Godzilla.” Backstreet Boys vs. *NSync in “Who Are We Kidding, We Both Suck.”

Now, time has a funny way of putting everything in perspective. And these days I think I feel a little more nostalgic for Tiffany’s cheesy 80s ballads than Debbie’s (also, she insists on being called Deborah now, which – girl, come on).”Could’ve Been” was also the first song I ever slow danced to at a school dance. To be honest, I don’t remember the boy. But I remember the girl who sang it.

Though, if I could make one small, crucial suggestion to SyFy before they start filming - please, please, please put them in Day-Glo and acid-wash jeans for their big swamp fight. This is an 80s rivalry, after all. It only seems right.


Urban Jointz said...

Great news! Great memories!

Shannon said...

"Backstreet Boys vs. *NSync in “Who Are We Kidding, We Both Suck.”"

Hahahaha. XD

Anonymous said...

This, THIS is why I love the Snarker.

Anonymous said...

oooh, jinx!

Anonymous said...


but I have different opinion,
I'm not how I answer, and don't mind at all
whatever people think cus somehow it is
impossible to understand some people and
I don't think they understand me anyway.

simply we dislike each other, it's all programed on
each person's DNA, so there is noway be friendly.
very SF.


another story,
I felt kind of weird at this moment, cus
the 80's doesn't look that old fashioned,
don't you think? It looks old but,

actually yesterday I was looking at some works
from 80's, actually, 1986, 1987..
and was thinking about you might be teen then.
well, SF.


I never dated since 2003.
I once dated a very very too much talkative man,
the personal is too much, not possible to tolerate.
very talkative and tiny mind.

some magazines suggest that even you're very
disappointed at the first date, keep brave cus
someday somewhere such as cosmos, or
in spaceship there could be a man who is datable
maybe in 3022 if we find a way the extend human
living like 1000 years or more. ( I don't want to be
brave at this point)

very SF.

Anonymous said...

I saw Debbie Gibson in Mega Shark vs. Octopus. There was nothing entertaining about the movie -- except DG's lisp. It was hilarious.

tlsintx said...

as a child of the '60s, i can only say:


LiLu said...

Mmmmm, acid wash. So... acidy.

Anonymous said...

Haven't I suffered enough to have lived through it...someone please wake me when this 80's revival is over...ugh!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE it! Seriously can't wait for this, but um, "endangered alligators"? In the Everglades?? Sure, whatever.

elliB said...

My day camp group did a dance and lip-sync to I Think We're Alone Now when I was 6 or 7 and we won first prize. Between that and the Full House episode where DJ and Stephanie trick Uncle Jessie (Joey?) into letting them stay up late to watch Tiffany Live From Tokyo, Tiffany will always have my vote!

(ps- my captcha is 'futbro' which I think is what footballers call each other?)

Norma Desmond said...

I'm not sure I'm old enough to properly remember either of these ladies...

yogagrrl said...

I loved Debbie Gibson because she was writing and producing her own songs which was a BIG DEAL. I mean, you NEVER heard about women doing that - let alone teenagers. That said, I TOTALLY FORGOT how much I love Tiffany's Could've Been.

Also, I feel you on the Deborah thing.

Patricia said...

Debbie and Tiffany Who?????

Leather and Lace said...

hi! we're Leather and Lace from the Philippines and we just started a lesbian blog. I think in our country, we really need a more active LGBT presence. Hope you could show us some love.

Love, Leather