Strike a pose, there's nothing to it

Of course I saw Tina on the cover of Vogue, of course. And of course she gave a great, funny interview to go along with the cover story, of course. And, of course, I am going to post about both, OF COURSE. If you didn’t know this then it’s like you don’t know me at all.

Now, the thing about this Vogue cover, beautiful and windswept as it is, is that they airbrushed out Tina’s scar. It’s a little hard to tell what with the heavy backlighting and general shading on the left side of her face. But if you know her face like I do, you know that there should be at least some hint of that scar running below her lip and up to her left cheek. But, alas, any imperfection – as integral as it might be – cannot be tolerated on the cover of Vogue. Same goes for wrinkles, body fat and any sign of average human anatomy. Deep, unsurprised yet still disappointed, sigh.

Now I know some of you just don’t feel the Fey-naticism like I do – and I respect that (also, more for me!) But you have to at very least respect the inner geek that Tina brings to even the bible of fashion. She talks about wearing a colonial-lady Halloween costume as an everyday outfit (“It was the Bicentennial! People were excited!”), the unfortunate training school haircuts her mom took her to as a gradeschooler (“apparently they cut my hair by folding my head in half and trying to cut out a heart.”) and how her Greek heritage limits her styling options (“knockers up and tight skirts. Somehow it's better”). Also, did you know she coined the phrase “mom jeans?” The more you know.

Also, you really should read the section where she critiques her own past award show red carpet looks. She mentions boob tape, lady parts and having a big can. Hell, just read the whole thing.

And, while you’re at it, be reminded why Tina is one of the best late-night couch sitters in the business. My favorite line: “Yeah, I’m almost 40 and I wore a romper today.”