Coral’s main function on past shows seemed to be -- if you will allow me to be eloquent for a second -- starting shit. She was a fighter, not a lover. Or perhaps a lover of a fighter. Or perhaps she was just a girl who liked to get all up in other people’s b’idness. At least, that’s what I could tell from the brief moments I landed on and was too lazy to click away from the televised trainwreck of 20-somethings drinking, getting naked, calling each other names and then hooking up, preferably in a hot tub.
Coral’s coming out was equally eloquent:
What is your sexual orientation? You dated men on Real World.
“Oh, yeah. It’s very cloudy at this point in time. I’m definitely venturing toward my lesbian qualities…”
Venturing toward my lesbian qualities? Dammit, if I’m not going to have to start incorporating that into my everyday conversations. I think I’ll start this weekend at Pride. “Hey, check out the Lesbian Qualities on that girl!” Or, “Hey, baby, want to take a venture at these Lesbian Qualities?” Fantastic, thank you, Coral. You’ve inadvertently added a whole new euphemism to the lesbian vernacular. And, considering that maddening mess of an interview, (seriously, read the wacky), it might be the only thing we’ll be thanking you for for quite a while. So enjoy. In lieu of a toaster oven we’re sending a toaster. Just in case.