Thursday, May 05, 2011

Gentlemen (and Ladies) Prefer Bookworms

John Waters famously said: “We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.” I could not agree more. Books are sexy motherfuckers. Their straight spines, their crisp pages, their tight bindings. All those bold black letters etched across soft ivory expanses. See, sexy motherfuckers. Like everyone else, I read a lot of my copy from backlit screens these days. But there’s still nothing quite like picking up a real book. The smell of it. The weight of it. Holding something in your hands gives it import. It makes it feel more real. We are a tactile people, after all.

So then, by extension, people who love or at the very least own books are also sexy motherfuckers. Back in the days when I used to watch MTV Cribs (what, don’t judge – I was young and probably drunk), I was always struck by how few of these stars had books. There were 60-inch plasma TVs, but no bookcases. There were double-wide subzero freezers, but no bookcases. There were walls and walls of DVDs and CDs, but no bookcases. People, homes need bookcases. Even if it is just some planks and cinder blocks, it’s a place to put your books.

I’ve long-since run out of bookshelf space for my books. They’re stacked double-deep on most shelves. Granted, these days I too often shamefully fall into the “buy books and let them sit on my nightstand for way too long” category of reader. I sometimes dream of taking a week-long vacation just to read books on my couch. It’s be like back in my grade school days when I spent my entire summer vacation either reading on the porch or going to the library for more books. Oh, those halcyon days of leisurely bookwormhood.

So today, we’re going to celebrate women with really great racks – of books. (Sorry, I had to.) Let’s hear it for the lovely lady libraries. These women, and their bountiful bookcases, more than pass the Waters Test. What can I say, sometimes you need to indulge in a little bit of uninhibited book porn.

Rachel MaddowBooks and a puppy and a cocktail. That’s just straight-up porn for lesbians.

Nigella LawsonMy, Nigella, what big books you have.

Olivia WildeContemporary design and plentiful bookcases. It’s so sexy it’s almost NSFW.

Rachel WeiszI can’t be the only one who wishes she was wearing glasses and her hair up so she could do the sexy librarian head shake for us.

Rita HayworthReading about Abraham Lincoln is totally hot.

Audrey TautouThis isn’t technically her library, but I can’t resist the lovely lines.

MadonnaI don’t think this is Madonna’s library either. But who knows. She can definitely afford to have a room in her house just dedicated to ancient parchments.

Diane KeatonFine, so she isn’t in it right now, but don’t you wish you were?

Ava Gardner Olivia de HavillandAdmit it, old-school Hollywood stars had better lounging-around-to-read clothes.

Marilyn MonroeDid you know she was an avid reader? She had a personal library of over 400 books. Bombshell and bookworm. Be still my heart.

EDIT: Damn, I mixed up my Olivia and Ava reading pictures. Apologies. We will see the lovely Ava another time, I promise.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love,love,love this post! I couldn't agree with you and Waters more - no books, no way!

Norma Desmond said...

Totes extra awesome points for use of the word halcyon.

Anonymous said...

From BtVS Episode I Robot, you Jane:

Jenny: Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer. Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?

Giles: The smell.

Jenny: Computer's don't smell, Rupert.

Giles: I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and, and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it... it has no, no texture, no, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um... smelly.

Books are a gateway to hundreds of times, place and worlds.

Women who read? so very hot. thanks for the reminder Ms Snarker.

A Happy Bookworm :o)

Kristan said...

As a writer, I salute you! And these women! And bookshelves! (Of which I wish I had more.)

And yes, I do wish I were in Diane Keaton's library! Only, I also wish it were mine...

Dar said...

Best post yet! I couldn't agree more. Bookworms are sexy and those photos are HOT. So many books, so like time!

Anonymous said...

How could you forget Felicia Day? http://www.flickr.com/photos/lanbui/3592379385/

Anonymous said...

SWEET POST! Rota Hayworth with a book? *melt*
PS. I think that's Olivia de Havilland...not Ava Gardner.

Kirsten said...

a friend of mine recently linked a post from here and i was captivated:

http://bookshelfporn.com/

totally safe for work, btw. when i grow up, i want a house with a library and a card index. that would make me a happy kitten indeed.

Annie said...

Awesome, bookish, sexy ass post Miss Snarker!

You have to remember that Rachel Weisz did play a sexy-with-glasses-and-hair-pinned-up librarian in the Mummy series. (Tho it's a shame she never did the sexy librarian head shake!) But it's a total WIN moment in the first movie when she's drunk and says "I...am a librarian!" before passing out. As I am an actual librarian, I always watch that movie and sigh, wishing I could meet a sexy librarian that looks like Rachel. Sigh...

Claire said...

Been reading a little while now and really enjoy your blog!

Kind of love Nigella even more now with those towering shelves and was ridiculously happy for a moment when I noticed I have a book in common with Olivia Wilde.

Though I mostly borrow from the library these days, my shelves are still covered in books. Wouldn't feel right without them.

yellojkt said...

Nothing turns me on more than a stacked bookshelf.

Kathryn said...

Gorgeous photos and fun write-up.

Ace said...

When I was dating, I always looked for the bookshelf when I went to a girl's apartment. At least a couple of times, I should have paid more attention to the absence of books. Alas.

I'm struggling a little with the effect of my Kindle on my library. The Kindle is the best thing ever for my commute -- and it made it possible for me to read, say, "Twilight" on the subway. But it also means that I don't have "Bossypants" on my bookshelf. And that makes me sad.

Lindsey said...

I love the fact that in every series of Nigella's cookery programmes there is an abundance of books, even in the later series that were filmed in a studio.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful! Brilliant! Thank you!

Emma said...

Couldn't agree more and I have well over 1000 books that I have been collecting for quite some time I love them all!!

Anonymous said...

I love books and love this post! My gf may not be a bookworm but I appreciate her interest in literature even if it's zombies and vampires.

tlsintx said...

Marilyn Monroe...oh yeah and her books... ftw!

Lou said...

I've got the same Katherine Hepburn biog as Olivia Wilde. I choose to consider this a sign of our deep compatibility..

Itty Bitty said...

What, no peek of your's, Snarker? Come one, pretty please?

Anonymous said...

I'll take Nigella and her "books" you can keep the rest!

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who was turned on by Marian the Librarian aka Shirley Jones in the Music Man?

Googlover/keishua said...

i totally agree...someone with no books in their home is probably not worth it. Made that mistake, what a dullard he was. Now, I screen.

Anonymous said...

Great! Great! Great! Subject and sooo well done!! I am not sure, but I think it is Olivia De Havilland, not Ava. Love your Blog!!

L said...

this is awesome and i have to say, the rachel maddow....hawt!!!!

Bent Fabric said...

This one is cool, too. But it might have more to do with my Lauren obsession.

http://lauren-online.net/gallery/albums/Redbook_2010/normal_lg_redbook_library.jpg

geborah9 said...

I'm thrilled you included Rita Hayworth. Thank you, thank you! Sigh...can it possibly get any more sexy or romantic than smart women reading books? Well, how about the stunning Ms. Hayworth dancing with her typically incredible grace and skill---not to mention looking flat-out gorgeous in a see-through black chiffon gown?

Here's she is in her legendary 1942 dance sequence with Fred Astaire sung to the tune of I'm Old Fashioned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN1lQiGGbtA

Josiesomething said...

so true

Anonymous said...

That pic you have of Nigella I have too. Only I always thought it was Dita Von Teese. Weird.

Am in book heaven right now. Love the post. Book lover = tactile :)

alex dumas said...

I love this post! Nigella!

Anonymous said...

This is by far my favorite post you have written! I love a woman who reads! So sexy!

e said...

BEST. POST. EVER!

Wish I had heard that pearl of wisdom from John Waters before now...

Anonymous said...

LOVE this post. Thank you!

buddyroe said...

Karl Lagerfeld is a strange ranger, but I envy his library so very, very hard.

http://www.theselby.com/wideindexphotos/4_2_09_karl_lagerfeld06407.jpg

Anonymous said...

Karl Lagerfeld plans to create a perfume "paper passion", as some German newspapers have written.

Anonymous said...

Wife and I bought a house with an extra bedroom to turn it into a library. LOVE this post.

Sasha said...

Madonna only has coloring books *eye roll* Other than that-- spot on.

Anonymous said...

Love this post the most! Contains two things I really love - double happines!

Do It said...

Please, where did these photos come from and how can I get copies?

Lake said...

I love your description in the perfumes. as you are aware of the distinct perfumes available in the market for different sexes. Pheromone perfume is catering the needs of all the sexes effectively. A lesbian pheromone perfume is a vital product for making strong relationship between two lesbians.For More Information about lesbian pheromone perfume Visit :http://pheromore.com/Pheromone-perfumes-for-lesbian-women.html