Hey, Big Mama C, why so serious? Is it, you know, that time? Look, we get it -- lunar cycle. Lady business. Female troubles. Aunt Flow. But did you really have to go and pack four references to PMS in the first eight minutes? I mean, it’s like I’m watching “There Will Be Blood: The Menstrual Edition.” Oh, and let’s not forget all the treachery, deceit, heartache and pain. Sheesh, no wonder they call it The Curse.
1) Gosh this seems familiar.2) A little awkward with your coffee?3) Hey, you think if we joined forces we’d get more lines?4) Bitchy Brunch, party of seven.5) Dawn Denbo and lover Cindi talk majority shares.6) OK, make that a lot of awkward.7) Lesbian Twinsies Syndrome in its last gasp.8) Who do you think wears the pants in this relationship?9) Christ, she cheated on you. Don’t apologize!10) Say it with
Suicidal.Crazy.Heartbreaking.25) Guilt in a box.26) Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!27) It’s OK, Angelica’s OK. Though throwing it out in the dumpster? Are you going for a bad idea record, Kit?28) The happy family.
New Guestbian Count: 1
[Melanie Lynskey as fashion designer/Alice flirter Clea Mason]
Best Line: “I’m so glad I don’t have to go through that anymore.“ -- Max to Kit while surveying the dyke drama.
Best Fake Line: “They’re like the best couple that ever lived.” -- Fake Alice about fake Bette and fake Tina.
Something I Would Never, Ever Say to a Girlfriend, Even If I Secretly Thought It: “I hope you bleed soon, I really do.” -- Alice to Tasha