L501: “LGB Tease”
We want dinghy! We want dinghy! We want…ah, damn. Well, here we go again. Hey, doesn’t Jenny know there is a writers strike? Pencils down, girlfriend. Otherwise we’re going to have to start calling you a dirty scab along with bat-shit crazy. A quick refresher for those playing at home, the Pre-L precaps contain spoilers, obscene language and, whenever possible, nudity. So if you don’t like being spoiled, cursed at or seeing naked ladies…dude, why are you even here? [Click any of the images to enlarge.] So without further ado.
1) Jenny’ dialogue, it sucks. But these ladies, they still rock.2) And so begins the Tibette hook-up pool. Place your bets now.3) Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.4) It took 9 minutes and 39 seconds for the first Alice sighting. Someone needs to get fired.5) Kit doesn’t see Shane on fire when she is with Paige. Welcome to Foreshadowing 101.6) Helena is in for some daddy issues.7) Dear Ilene Chaiken: If it has video, it’s a vlog. Sincerely, Ms. Snarker8) It’s hard out there for a pimp.9) Paige should always remember to knock.10) So Jenny writes a book, gets it published, gets it optioned, gets it greenlit, gets to write the script, gets to rewrites the script and now gets to direct the picture. Yep, Tina, you are in hell.11) Oh, wait. No, I was wrong before. Now you are in hell, Tina.12) Note to self: Invest in blindfolds.13) And so ends our lesson in foreshadowing. Any questions?14) Alice, buttons got nothin’ on her cuteness.15) Hey, shouldn’t she be in Iraq?
New Guestbian Count: 0
Best Line, Part I: “Playa del Carmen? That’s not nearly far enough away.” - Bette when she learns where Jenny is staying
Best Line, Part II: “Shit.” - Shane when she sees Jenny has returned
Best. Advice. Ever.: “Don’t drop the soap.” - Alice to Helena
UPDATE: I can’t believe I spelled “dinghy” wrong, twice. This is what happens when I post 20 minutes before I have to leave for the airport. Be sure to tune back in next week for the naughty Pre-L edition of “LGB Tease.” Bow-chicka-bow-wow, indeed.