Thursday, May 24, 2007

Cheney junior has two mommies

So Mary Cheney and her partner Heather Poe had their baby yesterday, little 8-lbs, 6-oz Samuel David Cheney (well, you can see who wears the pants and the surname in that relationship. Hyphenation, apparently, is for sissies and Democrats). The official White House photo of the newest little Cheney shows the beaming baby boy with his new, proud…grandparents. But not his parents. Because otherwise it would be weird. I mean, who takes a picture of a newborn baby with his actual parents? Weirdo.

Let’s face it, the Cheneys barely acknowledge that their daughter as gay, so they definitely wouldn’t want to acknowledge that she is a loving gay parent. The mental and emotional gymnastics that family must go through for everyone to still feel good about his/her political and personal choices must be exhausting. My parents love me, but they hate gays, but I’m gay, but they don’t support equal rights for gay families, but they love our new son, but they hate… Damn, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Congratulations ladies and, yeah, good luck. Oh, and here is the first official unofficial portrait* of the new happy family. Samuel David has two mommies, dammit.
*NOTE: Yeah, this “official unofficial” photo is a joke. Something along the lines of: “What do lesbians bring on their second date? .... A U-Haul.” Fine, I never said it was a good joke.

13 comments:

Michal said...

I refuse to believe Mary Cheney is a happy human being. And I'm sure it's not good on her partner either. I can't imagine what regular daily life must be for them.
I mean, I know everybody has a right to their opinion, and I know being gay doesn't mean you can't be Republican, but jeez! Can you imagine that Christmas family dinner? I see 2 possible scenes - either they're all shouting at each other and crying at the same time, or everybody just has a huge creepy smile on their face and they all talk about the weather and football...

MetaSin Girl said...

Funny, I thought they named him ‘Damien.’

Heather Anne said...

The thought of having Christmas dinner with the Cheneys gives me the heebie jeebies. ::shudder::

DJ Spinster said...

Oh, I dunno...denial can go a long, long way. Especially if you are a Republican.

Dame Rhetorica said...

Wow: Pictures are worth a lot of words, aren't they.

I mean, that snap of little Sammy with his two moms is, well, nothing short of scary. In their look-alike outfits, Mary and Heather look more like a security detail than a couple of new moms, and their bouncing baby might as well have been airbrushed into the shot. That's to say, when you look at that picture, do you see any sign that either of those women is paying their little boy even the slightest bit of mind?

Instead—and Freud would have a field day with this, no doubt—it looks like both so-called moms are intent on pretending they don't actually have a baby. What baby? Do you see any baby? Check out Mary's body language if you have any doubt. Does that look to you like someone who's actually holding her new son—even with the help of one of those no-hands mommy-hammock devices?

I'm thinking no, and I'm thinking this photo should be called something like "Republican Lesbian Moms Incognito/Indenial" . . . .

Heather said...

Um, that photo of Mary and Heather with the baby is photoshopped, dame.

Dame Rhetorica said...

Oh, right (slaps forehead): Photoshop. Joke. I get it.

And thanks, Heather. Off to get my funny bone examined and eyes/contacts checked . . . .

slacker said...

Interestingly enough, Sammy and his two mommies live in one of the most gay-unfriendly states. If Mommmy Mary decides to split on Mommy Heather, Mommy Heather basically can't do squat to stop it. Her Poeness is essentially a stranger to the child, in the eyes of the law.

I suppose that makes some homophobe somewhere happy.

Dylan said...

A homophobic family is bad enough when you are trying to maintain a loving relationship and now raise a child, but can you imagine one that is actually advocating against you? Please. Mary and Heather should split from that whole mess, and really, how dare they even use Cheney's last name... that baby deserves a fresh start, free from his grandfather's hatred.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does Mrs Cheney (i.e. Dick's wife) bear a resemblance to Barbara Walters?

Anonymous said...

I felt that it was utterly fucked up to show the grandparents and not the mothers with their child. Actually I thought it was HOMOFUCKINGPHOBIC to the nth degree. As always Dorothy you hit the nail on the head this family must live in the world of denial so deep that they twist everything for grandpa Dick's constituency - FUCK THEM ALL.

SLS said...

The only words that comes to mind is "sad for her".

Anonymous said...

Fuck you dick Cheyney and you fucking bigoted political games playing imbecile...now all of your little white hetero families can smile and say

"ah, Dick's saving that lesbian's baby"

(Pun intended)

I hate him and Bush and the rest of that tribe so feckin much


xxxx