So Mary Cheney and her partner Heather Poe had their baby yesterday, little 8-lbs, 6-oz Samuel David Cheney (well, you can see who wears the pants and the surname in that relationship. Hyphenation, apparently, is for sissies and Democrats). The official White House photo of the newest little Cheney shows the beaming baby boy with his new, proud…grandparents. But not his parents. Because otherwise it would be weird. I mean, who takes a picture of a newborn baby with his actual parents? Weirdo.
Let’s face it, the Cheneys barely acknowledge that their daughter as gay, so they definitely wouldn’t want to acknowledge that she is a loving gay parent. The mental and emotional gymnastics that family must go through for everyone to still feel good about his/her political and personal choices must be exhausting. My parents love me, but they hate gays, but I’m gay, but they don’t support equal rights for gay families, but they love our new son, but they hate… Damn, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Congratulations ladies and, yeah, good luck. Oh, and here is the first official unofficial portrait* of the new happy family. Samuel David has two mommies, dammit.
*NOTE: Yeah, this “official unofficial” photo is a joke. Something along the lines of: “What do lesbians bring on their second date? .... A U-Haul.” Fine, I never said it was a good joke.