Thursday, July 24, 2014

Face Up

HEYAREYOUWATCHINGFACEOFF? YOUSHOULDWATCHFACEOFF! Sorry, that came out a little more aggressively than I expected. But I can’t help it because “Face Off” has been my secret obsession for several years now. The Syfy reality competition is about finding the best new special effects makeup artist. But if you think this is just applying a little blush and eyeliner, oh child, sit down and let me educate you.

First of all, “Face Off” is one of those reality shows based on talent and talent alone. It is not about personality or gamesmanship or hot tub hookups. It’s just about the ability to create amazing shit out of nothing each week. There’s also hardly any backstabbing and an unbelievable amount of camaraderie on the series. They’re helping and complimenting and supporting each other constantly. There’s no time for bullshit, they have to make monsters…or superheroes…or robots…or every imaginable (and unimaginable) fantastical creature out there.

Why am I telling you all of this now? Well, for one Season 7 premiered on Tuesday (don’t worry, it’s On Demand and streaming so you can catch up). And this season has an out female contestant, Stella Sensel, a 34-year-old freelance makeup artist who lives in Brooklyn with her wife and their dog. (Yeah, that is her below.) They met at an “Amateur Female Jell-O Wrestling match,” so clearly I am rooting for her already.

The other reason is that I will be doing mini-recaps of the series for AfterEllen to track her progress. So you can read them on Wednesdays over at AE. Oh, have I mentioned, YOUSHOULDTOTALLYWATCHFACEOFF.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

SGALGG: Awesome Ladies Edition

Melissa McCarthy, Susan Sarandon AND Padma Lakshmi? Too. Much. Awesome. Go on without me. Hey, it’s been another long, busy week and it’s just half way through. So why not get through the second half with the help of some Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals (and/or just Awesome Gals). Also, not all of them are necessarily straight. Fine, mostly these were just cool women being cool together. Some days, that’s all you need.

Chrissy Teigen & Padma Lakshmi

*unintelligible gurgling noise*

Emma Thompson & Lupita Nyong'o

You know you’d try to steal a kiss, too. Atta girl, Emma.

Janelle Monae & Lupita Nyong'o

Though Janelle looks like she is trying to steal more than just a kiss.

Sasha Alexander & Lena Headey

I just love it when awesome ladies from different shows I love pose together.

Uzo Aduba & Tatiana Maslany


Jan Nash & Angie Harmon


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Silk Road

I was lucky enough to interview Anna Silk for the second time yesterday. She was, just like the first time, lovely. She is always earnest and thoughtful and candid in interviews. I appreciate the care she gives to her character and her fans. You can read the full interview today on AfterEllen. Until then, its fun to remember back before she was Bo, the unaligned succubus. When she was just a frazzled flight attendant trying to make it through another day. Her wardrobe has certainly improved.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Faceniss Everdeen

I don’t think I really need to pinpoint what, exactly, is so fantastic about this set of pictures. [Click to embiggen the amazingness.] So, needless to say, this is exactly the kind of thing you need to start off a week. Continual giver of earthly delights Jennifer Lawrence simply does not know how to disappoint. Here she is posing with Emma Watson. I think this is the living embodiment of “Hunger Games” fandom meeting “Harry Potter” fandom – but, of course, done with love. We all know Katniss and Hermoine would totally hit it off in real life. Mostly.

Friday, July 18, 2014

My Weekend Crush

You know that saying, “Big things come in little packages?” Well after meeting Kacy Catanzaro that has to be changed to “Big kick-ass Ninja Warriors come in little packages.” I don’t know if you’ve ever watched “American Ninja Warrior” or not. I just started this year because my resolution was to exercise more and watching people perform insane physical feats is basically the same thing. But one of the things I learned when I started watching is that no woman had ever completed the extreme obstacle course before – like ever. And then along came Mighty Kacy, who not only became the first women to complete the Qualifying course, this week she became the first woman to complete the Regional Finals course. That means she is also the first finalist, who will go on to grueling ultimate final course, dubbed Mt. Midoriyama, in Las Vegas.

Two other women after Kacy went on to complete the Qualifying course, and will have their shot at their Regional Finals. So hopefully they’ll meet Kacy on the mountain. But for now, it’s hard not to (and why would you even try) to be awed by her accomplishment – and by her. This is a course that has made mince meat of men twice her size. I’ve watched absolute physical specimens crumple and crash at the grueling requirements of this super-human course. Those who complete it combine strength, flexibility, agility, grip strength, endurance and fearlessness. I’m pretty sure I’d fall and knock myself out on the Quintuple Steps (the very first obstacle, FYI). Kacy, a former gymnast, is all of 5-foot tall, which makes some of the swinging, jumping and hanging obstacles that much harder. But you know what? NO fucking excuses. She works hard, she trains hard. She’s pretty fucking awesome. If you don’t feel inspired watching her compete with the big boys, well, I can do nothing for you, son. Happy Ninja Warrior weekend, all.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Gender Fuck Thursday: Jenny Lewis et al Edition

Yes, yes – that Jenny Lewis video though. Kristen Stewart, Anne Hathaway, Brie Larson and some chick on drums I don’t really know all perfomring delightful gender fuck in the video as Jenny wears a rainbow-meets-twilight (see, see what she did there) suit. Who can resist Sue Sylvester-style track suit drag with questionable facial hair? Also, I see that rattail. The song – named after pretty much my favorite movie from the 80s – is also pretty great. And the ladies sure look like they’re having a lot of fun. Yes, even Kristen. (I give her a hard time because I care, and also it’s fun, but mostly the caring thing.) If you’re one of the three lesbians who hasn’t already watched – or if you among the millions who wouldn’t mind watching again – please answer me this: Who makes the better dudebro? K-Stew or Miss Hathaway? Answering Brie is cheating.

p.s. I only recently realize Jenny Lewis used to act and appeared in the movie “Foxfire” with Angelina Jolie. That’s her with the zucchini.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

(Do It On My) Emmy Nominations

Amid the SNARKER SMASH of Tatiana Maslany’s Emmy snub, I hope it was not lost that the very, very talented Kate McKinnon was nominated for not one, but two Emmys. As she told Seth Meyer earlier this week, she was having a fever dream about getting news about the Emmy nominations with the cast of “Orange Is the New Black,” right before she got the news of her actual Emmy nominations. One for best supporting actress in a comedy series and one for best original music and lyrics.

I was, naturally, curious about which song she was nominated for. I didn’t watch much SNL this past season, but did make sure to let The Internet tell me when Kate had done something awesome. But shame on you, Internet, for not telling me about “(Do It On My) Twin Bed.” You will be singing this all day at work, guaranteed.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

All About K-Stew

Cinema’s continual fascination with How Terrible It Is For Women To Age, because what other stories can we possibly tell about women as they age, is beyond tiring. It is especially so when you throw in the adversarial younger woman vs. older woman dynamic – because again, heaven forbid we actually get along as women instead of spar as rivals. Also, have you noticed how it’s always dudes who write and direct these All About Eve-things. Still with that said, the trailer for “The Clouds of Sils Maria” looks like a well-acted – if not entirely new – film with a very talented female cast. I mean, how can you resist the combination of Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart and Chloë Grace Moretz? Also, there is a distinctly lesbian vibe happening between Juliette’s older actress, Kristen’s younger assistant, non? I mean, hello, the whole play-within-a-movie is about an older woman who falls for a younger woman. Yes, yes, and then there’s K-Stew’s G-string. Fine, I’m going to go see this. But if there are more lingering shots of puffy alpine clouds than actual lesbian content I’m going to be Bella Swan mopey the rest of the day.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Naked Lady Monday: Body Issue Edition

It comes along once a year like Lesbian Christmas. The ESPN Body Issue with naked female (OK, and male too) athletes showing us their assets. It’s a bonanza of flesh and power that I always check out because, um, science? Yeah, definitely science.

Venus Williams, Tennis

Am I the only one who thinks, “Damn, I wonder if that sand is hot on her ass?” during these sorts of situations.

Ginger Huber, Cliff Diving

Yet another in a long series of Sports I Wouldn’t Try, Let Alone Nude.

Danyelle Wolf, Boxing

Ditto from above.

Angel McCoughtry, Basketball

Though naked basketball, that I would definitely watch.

Hilary Knight, Hockey

Naked ice hockey would be a much gentler game, I think.

Jamie Anderson, Snowboarding

I’m always a little less than pleased when they have people – particularly the women – pose in ways that have nothing (or in this case almost nothing) to do with their sports.

Amy Purdy, Paralympic Snowboarding

Another case in point – beautiful image, what does this have to do with snowboarding?

Coco Ho, Surfer

By comparison, isn’t this so much better?

Alia Evans, Bobsled

And this one, too?

Megan Rapinoe, Soccer

Fine, I’ll accept it because it’s Megan and at least there’s a soccer ball. What, they’re all still naked ladies. So I’m easy.

Friday, July 11, 2014

My Weekend SMASH

So did you hear, the Emmy nominations came out yesterday?

The good news? All the “Orange Is the New Black” nominations including but not limited to those for Taylor, Laverne, Uzo, Natasha and Kate, the nomination for Lena Headey, the nomination for Kate McKinnon, the nomination for Jessica Lange, the nomination for Sarah Paulson, the nominations for the SNL Alumni Holy Trinity of Tina, Amy and Kristen.


Oh, Sorry, Emmys. It wasn’t enough that Tatiana has played NINE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS on screen. She has also played multiple combinations of said characters posing as another one of the nine on screen. And done all of it flawlessly. But, I totally get it, this is a weirdo show about clones and science and stuff only nerds like. And you already nominated a show with dragons – so you could hardly be expected to also nominate one with clones. What is this, the circus? If you went and nominated every performance that actually deserved a nomination willy-nilly regardless of genre people might talk.

Except, you know, the opposite of all of that. I woke up late yesterday to the news and The Internet had already cycled through the stages of grief from Denial to Anger and ultimately Acceptance. But I just can’t get past the SNARKER SMASH stage. Give me something to breaaaak! Or dance just dance it out. Or better yet both. Happy Tatiana Was Robbed, All.