Vacation Vixen: Hillary Clinton

I loved all the hubbub about her not wearing makeup on an official state visit last week. Because when people act so blatantly superficial and sexist about one of the most powerful and respected women in the United States, if not the world, it shows how petty and pathetic they really are. Also, I thought she looked damn good in her smart-girl glasses and bare face. Damn good.

Vacation Vixen: Evan Rachel Wood

I know, it totally blows that Amendment 1 passed. But there are always setbacks on the road to history. Also, damn ERW looks good wearing this T-shirt. Equality is hot

Vacation Vixen: Hope Solo

It’s Wednesday. Which means I’m half way done with my vacation and you’re half way to the weekend. I feel sad for me and happy for you. Either way, I think we can both appreciate Hope’s magnificent arm porn here. And her glutes are real consensus builders, too. Me, I’m all about finding common ground.

Vacation Vixen: Maya Rudolph & Kristen Wiig

I would like Maya and Kristen to become the next Tina & Amy. And I would like both comedy couples to make hilarious movies/TV/home videos they let us watch and laugh at forever and ever. Amen.

Vacation Vixen: Charlize Theron

I’m pretty sure that much leg is illegal. Or, at the very least, should come with a warning.

My Weekend Sexy

Right, so I’m on a quick vacation for the next week. Off to remind the niece and nephew just how cool their gay Auntie Snarker is. While I’m gone I shall, of course, be satiating your appetite with the lovely Vacation Vixens each day while I am away. Why? Because I care. Also, I’m somewhat unclear on the concept of “vacation.” But before I got I just wanted to give a tip of the hat to our lovely lady friends at “Lip Service.” Now, I know I was all “Oh my God, they killed [Oh my God, if you haven’t watched season 2 yet stop reading now because I don’t want to hear any whining in the comments section about spoilers] Cat! Those bastards!” about developments recently. And, I am still not wholly convinced going to that great Lesbian Burial Ground in the Sky was the best option, I will say I am extremely grateful for the addition of Lexy and the retention of Sadie. For without these two lusty ladies, I fear this season of “Lip Service” would indeed by one continuous loop of Chopin’s “Funeral March” – but played on acoustic guitars because this is a lesbian show, people. Instead, last week we got this delightfully randy sequence. So thank you, Sexy Lexy and Shady Sadie, for bringing the fu back into fun. See you in a week. Happy weekend, all.

This clip is extremely, insanely, delightfully NSFW. But it’s almost the weekend. So, you know, go for it.

Thank you, Mr. President

History. Such a simple word filled with infinite implications. Sometimes it creeps past softly, barely noticed until one day we dust of big books and find it hidden within the pages. Other times it happens right before our eyes, big and brash and bolder than we ever expected. Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday we heard 11 words from a sitting United States President we had never heard before. Yesterday President Barack Obama said “I think same-sex couples should be able to get married.” Simple, clear, unmistakable. History.

Now, we can get caught up in the fine print of President Obama’s endorsement of marriage equality – if we want to. He is late. He is not ending DOMA. He is still allowing states to vote on marriage right for themselves. True, true, true. But, you know what, I don’t care. I mean, I do care. I care a lot. But history gets told with broad brush strokes. The Emancipation Proclamation freed all the slaves. Well, close. Not all of them, just those in states under Confederate control. It wasn’t until two years later with the passage of the Thirteen Amendment that all slaves were freed and slavery became illegal across the country. But, you know, details. The Emancipation Proclamation was the big, brash, bold stroke that changed everything. The fine print work came later.

Now, I’m in no way suggesting that President Obama’s support of same-sex marriage yesterday was our Emancipation Proclamation, figurative or otherwise. But it is important not just because of its optics, but because of what it means on a personal level to every LGBT person in this country and across the globe. Never before has a President stood up and said our marriages are equal to straight people’s marriages. Never. But now, the most powerful man in the free world says we are the same. Says we deserve the same rights. Says love is love. Yesterday, I took a moment to let it sink in. And it felt, well, wonderful.

This is how a man evolves, this how our leaders evolve, this is how a nation evolves, this is how a world evolves. History is happening, don’t get left behind.

NOTE: As mentioned in the post, I am NOT comparing the President’s endorsement of same-sex marriage to the Emancipation Proclamation. They are not equal in historical import or impact. Not at all. I am comparing the historical perception of what the Emancipation Proclamation did (i.e. it ended all slavery in the United States) to what it actually did (it ended slavery in the confederate-controlled states, and then two years later the Thirteenth Amendment ended slavery across the nation). I am not comparing the end of slavery to the granting of gay rights. I am saying that history is told in broad brush strokes not fine print. And what President Obama did yesterday was a broad brush stroke.

Nice WIGS

I haven’t watched too many web series. Mostly this is because they can be amateurish and awkward, with non-existent budgets and untested talent. Also, believe it or not, I still enjoy watching things on my TV, from my couch, without an overheating laptop weighting down my midsection. But I do love the entrepreneurial and independent nature of web series. And I love that they can exist outside the Hollywood machine and therefore tell stories that we don’t always get to see. The stories of the people otherwise relegated to token background character or sassy gay friend or simpering supportive spouse. Anyone can be the star of her own web series with a camera and a dream and a functioning YouTube account.

Still, it’s something quite extraordinary when the production values and big stars of Hollywood converge to tell little-heard stories on the web. And that project appears to be WIGS. Billed as “an innovative new YouTube channel producing high-end, original, scripted series, short films, and documentaries, all starring female leads,” WIGS launches next week. And already it has an impressive array of stars attached including Jennifer Beals, Dakota Fanning, Julia Stiles, Jennifer Garner, Maura Tierney, Allison Janney, America Ferrera, Sarah Paulson, Troian Bellisario, Virginia Madsen, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Rosanna Arquette and more. The vignettes will all be short, about five to eight minutes – which is also perfect because most people barely have the attention span to watch an animated gif these days. I wish there was a tad more diversity in the casts – though it’s early and hopefully more people will sign on. Also, I think the name, which stands for “Where It gets Interesting,” is pretty horrible. Also wouldn’ that make it WIGI? But, you know what, show me a project featuring a slew of talented actresses telling women’s stories and I’ll show you a big smile on my face. Consider me sold.

I am woman, feel me avenge

Let’s get this out of the way right away. “The Avengers” was awesome. Like hot damn, holy cow, fuck yeah AWESOME. And chances are you saw it and thought it was awesome too. Because it made like a bajillion dollars over the weekend. ($207.4 million to be exact, which is the biggest opening weekend ever, besting previous record holder “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2” by more than $38 million).

As an avowed Joss Whedon fangirl, I couldn’t be more proud and pleased with the movie or its reception. It was everything you want from your big-time, big-name, big-hero super films. Exciting. Epic. Funny. Fierce. Cohesive. Contextual. Geeky. Gripping. And fun, man, was it ever fun. Sometimes event movies forget that they’re supposed to be fun. And while I like shit blowing up as much as the next gal, that doesn’t make it fun. Nor does taking oneself super seriously. But “The Avengers,” now that was fun. It earned my $11. And I plan to give it another $11 very soon.

But, and fuck if there isn’t always a but, it also underscored one of the continuing and institutional problems with the big summer blockbuster. And that is they almost never pass the Bechdel Test, “The Avengers” sadly included. While the movie passes the first crucial test: Yes there are more than two named female characters. “The Avengers” has three: Black Widow, Agent Maria Hill and Pepper Potts. But then it fails the last two tests. They never talk to each other, about a man or anything else for that matter.

Of course, this isn’t to say that female representation is terrible in “The Avengers.” Quite the opposite, really. None of them are damsels in distress. One could argue that Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper is a standard-issue superhero girlfriend, but given her backstory in two previous solo “Iron Man” films makes her more than mere arm candy. Plus she’s about the only person who can cut cocksure Tony Stark down to size. Sure, Cobie Smulders’ Agent Hill mostly just looks stoic (also hot, so hot) in her SHIELD uniform while providing exposition. But she also battles her own brainwashed agents with heroism and flare. And then there’s Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow who is not only integral to the plot, she nicely turns some female tropes (she’s weakened by her apparent love for a man) on their head. All these women are strong and smart and so much more than action movie T&A. This is Joss, after all.

In fact, if anything is overtly sexualized in this movie, I’d say it was Captain America’s massive back. I swear, his upper body is like a stingray’s silhouette on steroids.

But, still, this is Joss after all, so we expect a lot – and more. This is in fact the only project Joss has written and directed (besides the shoe-string budget “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog,” which only had four named characters total) that has failed the Bechdel test. “Buffy,” “Angel,” “Firefly,” “Serenity,” “Dollhouse.” All these passed with flying colors. But “The Avengers,” which should be noted is also the only writing-directing project where Joss did not also create the universe in which it exists, does not.

So am I disappointed “The Avengers” fails the Bechdel Test? Of course. Would it have been that hard to give Agent Hill and Black Widow a moment together? Perhaps they could commiserate on the fit of zip-front jumpsuits. Am I disappointed with the women in the film? Hell no. They’re awesome – especially Black Widow and her thighs of fury. They’re superheroes, not just females in spandex. In fact one could argue that the female heroes in this film are in a way even more heroic than many of its male heroes. They stand up and fight without super powers or super armor or super God powers. They’re just humans, who are damn good at what they do.

But “The Avengers” is also a reminder than even when you’ve got a big-time feminist like Joss Whedon at the helm, who has built his reputation on being able to build strong female characters that break the Hollywood mold, it’s damn hard to break the Hollywood mold. The big boys of summer continue to rule, but us ladies won’t stop fighting to get in our licks, too.

Just another transvaginal Monday

You know what you need more of this fine Monday? Women saying “vagina.” Sure, “2 Broke Girls” two-hour finale will be on later to fulfill your primetime needs to vaginal discourse. But right now, right now I think we can all agree we could definitely use more vagina. So with that, please let Kate Beckinsale, Judy Greer and Andrea Savage tell government exactly where they’d like it to go. Hint: The word “vagina” is involved.