One Merry Dame

Please allow Dame Helen Mirren to send you her warmest, most heartfelt and truthful regards this Christmas. (Skip to 0:55 if you want to get right to Helen and miss Will Smith pinching Graham's hiney.)

Have Yourself a Dyke & Fats Christmas

Well, someone has to save Christmas – and this year. Good thing we can always count on Dyke & Fats. Come on, be honest. You’d totally watch the hell out of this show.



p.s. We are all Les Dykawitz. Les Dykawitz is all of us.

Black is the color, none is the number

Patti Smith singing “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” a the Nobel Prize ceremony earlier this month. A hard rain's a-coming, America. We'd better get ready.

Faithless Resistance

Today is our democracy’s last shot to stop The Hate Pumpkin from becoming President of the United States of America. Granted, I have no expectations that a swath of pure partisans will suddenly find their long-lost consciences and become the Hamilton Electors our Founding Fathers envisioned. But, hey, let’s dream while we still can. Can he outlaw dreaming? Just in case, best to get yours in before Jan. 20.

The Electoral College has always been a point of controversy. Its creation is steeped in the hypocrisies of our democratic experiment. First, the Founding Fathers weren’t so sure the actual electorate would make the right choice – so they devised a fail safe. Hence, the electors. And second, the Founding Fathers had this whole ugly slavery thing happening. The Northern states had a larger voting population. So the Southern States wanted to count their slaves among their population – even though they were considered property and clearly not allowed to vote - so they could wield more political power. The result was the inhumane three-fifth compromise which decided state’s allocations in the Electoral College and House of Representatives.

Both these reasons seem to run contrary to our county’s ideals of freedom and democratic rule. We the people, not we the disenfranchised and/or we the hand-selected political elites.

And yet, here we are. Where it is a crazy pipe dream to believe faithless electors will do the right thing and save us from this unhinged, unqualified, hate-filled megalomaniac who is so petty he picks fights with people writing bad reviews about his restaurant. But the reality is, no one is coming to save us. Not the electors. Not Obama. Not Hillary (though, heavens knows, she deserves the down time and space to wander in the woods).

The only thing giving me any solace is the fact that America actually didn’t vote for this guy. He actually lost by 2.84 million votes. To put that in perspective that is more than the total populations of Wyoming, Vermont, North Dakota and South Dakota – combined. These are just the facts, no matter how hard the Deplorable try to conspiracy theory them away.

The truth is Trump didn’t win the vote. He won unevenly weighed geographical regions designed historically to help slave holders.

Keep saying that over and over. And out loud. And with pride - and more than a little anger. Because there are more of us than them. Really. So let’s not roll over and let them smash everything we hold dear. We must save ourselves. Resist.

p.s. Though there is also always this to consider. Because at Christmas you tell the truth. Just in cases.

My Weekend Crush

[Click to Embiggen the Queer Ladies Saying GTFO]

I’ve decided that my aesthetic for 2017 is going to be Queer Women Calmly Dismissing Dudes Who Can’t Take a Fucking Hint. Like, ladies, we have all been there. We have all endured this exact same situation. We have all been interrupted when we are just trying to enjoy each other’s company. Yes, all queer women. In fact, all women – period. But you know what, in this Grab ‘Em By The Pussy Age we have to be even more resolute in standing our ground. Men who are not invited into our spaces need to get the fuck out. So, dudes, you are officially on notice. Speak when spoken to. Interject when invited. But do not assume your presence is exactly what’s missing whenever a woman, two women, a group of women are sitting somewhere. Because, in fact, in almost every instance the exact opposite it true. Yes, dudes. Really. Happy weekend, all – but especially all you ladies.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Vintage Tux Edition

In the waning days of 2016, as the light fades and a future filled with only more darkness looms, let us remember the things we can always rely on. The majority of Americans did not want The Hate Pumpkin to be president, by 2.84 million votes. Cate Blanchett’s existence is proof there is a higher power and she wants lesbians to be happy. And vintage Hollywood female stars in tuxedos make almost anything better. At least for a little while.

Doris Day


Josephine Baker


Constance Cummings


Mary Pickford


Gloria Swanson


Anna May Wong


Marlene Dietrich

Please, like one of these could end without Marlene.

p.s. I am not a smoker. Nor do I encourage smoking. But the picture in question is nearly 90 years old. So please take it in the historical context it was posted. Also don't smoke. The end.

Big Lesbian Crush on Mean Girls

Hey, what if that movie about “relational aggression among girls” was really just subterfuge for a simmering lesbian romance? Well, wonder no more. Because “Mean Girl” the remix is “Carol” for the high school set. But really, deep down, aren’t we all just too gay to function?

What An Amazing Year for Fey

This is just 18 unadulterated minutes of Tina Fey being Tina Fey. And, of course, I love it. So please enjoy My Fake TV (And Movie) Wife talking about what it is to be a woman in Hollywood while accepting the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award at The Hollywood Reporter’s annual Women in Entertainment breakfast. Feel free to skip Hamm talking (Tina takes the stage at 6:20). Also, feel free to watch the moment at 13:35 over and over and over (and over) again. I sure did. Bonus points for how she repeatedly takes little pot shots at Ryan Murphy. You know, with love. That’s my gal.

A Very Lena 2016

By now, no doubt, you have seen the Beginning/End of 2016 memes. They're sadly very, very accurate. But I thought I would add my own, because if a thin-skinned reality TV star can get Russia's help to become president, I can do - well - just about anything I want. Why not? Nothing matters! *laughs hysterically dissolving into sobs* *and repeat* Anyway, I thought I would gay up my contribution because, at least until Jan. 20, I am free to be as gay gaggity gay gay as I want in America. With all apologies to Lena Headey, who is so much better than 2016 would imply, here goes.

Me at the beginning of 2016


Me at the end of 2016


Bonus: Me at the beginning of 2017

My Weekend Crush

One of the few things bringing me real and consistent joy in the hellscape that has been 2016 is the set photos from “Ocean’s 8.” The lady power spinoff of “Ocean’s 11” continues to delight. Like, for real, every picture is so damn delightful. And I hope they delight you as much as they delight me. Happy delightful weekend, all.

Helena Bonham Carter threatening Anne Hathaway’s life. Delightful!


Rihanna wearing an “I’m With Her. And Her.” T-shirt. Delightful!


Sarah Paulson doing anything. Always delightful!


Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock kissing while wearing Anne Hathaway masks. Weirdly delightful!


Cate Blanchett’s arm porn. OK, that’s just hot. Delightfully hot.

It's The Hate Pumpkin, America

I’ve been trying to decide what to call the unhinged orange toddler we’ve somehow elected to the most powerful position in the free world. He lost the popular vote by 2.7 million (and counting), and he sure as hell isn’t my president. So finally I’ve settled on a fitting title. For the next four years, he may rise to the highest office in the land, but he will always be just The Hate Pumpkin to me.

p.s. Hey, if we can’t laugh at our most terrible of presidential predicaments we’ll, well, it's physically not possible to cry for 1,460 days straight, is it?

p.p.s. For the few of you suggesting nothing will change for LGBT folks under The Hate Pumpkin, you do realize ever single one of his cabinet nominees so far has been staunchly anti-LGBT, right? And you also realize he will be in charge of nominating federal judges and Supreme Court justices and has promised to deliver on Scalia-like far-right selections, right? And you realize he can immediately reverse all of President Obama’s executive orders protecting LGBT federal workers and contractors, right? And you also realize the GOP is dedicated to passing an extreme anti-LGBT, so-called “religious freedom” bill that would make it legal to discrimination against LGBT folks for religious reasons by governments, hospitals, universities, businesses, etc., right?

I Saw Her Sanvers There

Whew, this week kind of got away from me. So if you have not already, please enjoy the Sanvers culmination scene. If you have not been watching Supergirl, may this be your motivation. Or, if you are not caught up yet, well, spoilers. And if you already watched, well, what is once more?

Why Visibility Matter, Always

This Twitter thread has been making the rounds. And it is a further reminder why visibility, representation and LGBT stories matter. My God, do they matter.

Just Like The First Time

Have you seen this? I saw the trailer for “The First Girl I Loved” what seems like ages ago (yes, that’s how long ago September seems – forever and all my hope ago). And I was intrigued. But then I forgot it existed because, you know, the world. And now it’s available for download exactly when I could use a little worthy distraction. So, again, I ask – have you seen this? The cast certainly looks good. There’s out actress Brianna Hildebrand (but, ooooof, that wig – too bad she couldn’t just go with her “Deadpool” cut). And I even see a glimpse of Cameron Esposito. Plus there is the whole evoking those totally relatable obsessive first lady love feelings thing. But then there’s that boy. Ugh, there’s always a boy. So, once more with feelings, have you seen this? And should I?

My Weekend Crush

History has a funny way of rewriting itself. Sure, Ellen DeGeneres is America’s Favorite Dancing Lesbian™ now. But it’s easy to forget that just some 20 years ago, she all but disappeared from our screens. Because the truth is 1997 was a lifetime ago culturally. I was in college then. And I remember watching her show’s historic coming-out “Puppy Episode” then. And I remember how singular it was – as basically no one else on television at the time had the guts to lean into a microphone and say, quite simply, “I’m gay” then. But, yep, Ellen did. And then, just a year later, her show was cancelled. And then for years she was relegated to guest spots in things like “Pauley Shore is Dead” and roles like a butchy corndog-chomping detective in “Goodbye Lover” (though, admittedly, she was very funny in that). But then, thanks to “Finding Nemo,” people suddenly remembered she was great again. And that whole gay thing wasn’t such a big deal after all. And sure, they’d love to watch her dance around and smile every afternoon. See, we were OK with The Gay all along. And now here we are 19 years later and she is receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom. But alas, progress isn’t all dancing and awards and prizes hidden under your seat. It’s also the tough years, the stumbles, the regrets and the all-out losses. But we just keep swimming. We have to. Otherwise we don’t get to write our own history. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Well, we made it to December. So now 2016 has one precious month left to redeem itself. So why not start off on a smart and stylish foot. Here are some smart, stylish women looking – well, smart and stylish. Plus they’re all in black in white, which makes them so much more stylish and smart-looking. Yes, I know other adjectives. But November was a doozy so smart and stylish is all my brain can muster right now. But, hey, “smart” and “stylish” suit these suits. Right, as I was saying – good luck, December. Please, at the very least, be so much smarter than the rest of 2016 was. More stylish would just be icing.

Amy Acker

Remember when she was sweet, mousy Fred? And now she’s like gay lady catnip? See, evolution is real.

Janelle Monae

I would like to look this cool for even one second doing anything.

Natalie Dormer

I’m not sure why Natalie isn’t a much, much, much bigger star already. But that’s ok – more for us early-adopters.

Alycia Debnam-Carey

You should probably consider us gay ladies the early adopters of all celebrity it girls. Just call us the original girl crush hipsters. We loved Alycia before she was cool – and on that show with zombies.

Penelope Cruz

Is there an opposite of early adopter? Because that seems to have happened to Penelope. She was everywhere and then – poof. When all else fails, I blame Tom Cruise.

Rooney Mara

I’m really sorry if you didn’t like “Carol.” I really am. Because, to me, it was perhaps the most beautiful ache you could experience in a movie theater with your clothes on. Hell, possibly even with them off.

Vacation Vixen: Uzo Aduba

Ugh, you know what’s harder than coming back from a holiday weekend? Coming back from an extended holiday weekend mini-vacation. So I’m just going to stretch a little, limber up the little gray cells, and get back into the non-literal saddle. See, Uzo knows how it is done. Rise and grind, kittens.

p.s. Whoops. Obviously I am way out of practice from my little break. Fabulous photo now attached.

Vacation Vixen: Angie Harmon

Fine, I miss this silly show. I miss watching Det. Jane Rizzoli catch bad buys with her Ponytail of Righteous Justice blazing. I miss watching Dr. Maura Isles recite obscure technical factoids. I miss the Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching and Eye Sex and Big Gayzzoli Endings. And, damn, do I miss the Aviators of Sexy Justice. Oh well, there are always the memories. And the DVDs. And the recaps.

Vacation Vixen: Katie McGrath

Ugh, Mondays after a holiday weekend are the worst. Luckily, I’m taking a mini-vacation. While I get away and continue to digest all that turkey and fixings, please enjoy Katie McGrath. Look, I know I’m being greedy now. We have Alex Danvers and come-on-and-stop-stalling Maggie Sawyer. But I also know I’m not the only one who totally ships Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor. Come on, the way Lena looks at sweet, bubbly Kara? That’s the classic the-better-to-eat-you-with face. Hey, shows have no problem having more than one straight couple. Why not give us just a little equal opportunity with another queer lady couple on “Supergirl?” Pretty, pretty please?

My Weekend Crush

Dearests. Holiday season has officially begun. Which also means it is also officially “Carol” season. Look, if The Straights can endlessly watch a story about a boy who shoots his eye out every Christmas, we gay ladies can relive the beautiful ache of two women falling in love over a pair of gloves. So enjoy your seasonal rewatch – and rewatch and rewatch and rewatch some more. May you find what you’re looking for – stretched out before you like a perpetual sunrise – this holiday season. You never know who could be starting back over that department store counter. Happy weekend and watching, all.