Look, I’m working hard at staying hep with the cool cats these days, you dig? That’s how The Youngs talk today, right? After today, I believe my Generation Z Lesbian Indie Music Starter kit is now almost complete. Indeed, I’ve landed the hat trick of queer artists Phoebe Bridgers, Girl in Red and Julien Baker on Music Mondays now. Out llesbian musician Baker released her third album in February of this year, and along with it this oddly enchanting for its single “Hardline.” The stop-motion papier-mâché animation reminds me of a more hopeful version of that striking music video for “Sober” by Tool back in — cough, and now I am really dating myself, cough — 1993, but mixed with some Wallace & Gromit charm. Or maybe that’s just me. Carry on, young people. Happy Monday, kittens.
Monday, August 02, 2021
Friday, July 30, 2021
My Weekend Crush
To those criticizing her “toughness” or her “commitment” or her “responsibilities,” I have some questions. Are you an elite gymnast who has been training since she was 6 years old with the singular goal of making it to the Olympics? No, interesting. Have you publicly discussed your long-term sexual abuse at the hands of the U.S.A. team doctor/person whose sole job was to keep you healthy that was covered up by the very organization you are now performing for at the Olympics? No, also interesting. Were you touted for years and years and years (and years and years) as the face of the Olympics for having what has been portrayed as unstoppable superhuman abilities so much so that people expect your greatness to be automatic? No, again, interesting. Are you a Black woman who is continually expected to perform at the upper echelon of your field for a culture that then casually ascribes much of your excellence to your race? No, wow, interesting.
Though, it’s not interesting — it’s pathetic. Every criticism I have read of Simone withdrawing from the team and all-around events has been pathetic — and I mean every last one, which largely and unsurprisingly are coming from a slew of mediocre straight white men.
Yeah, of course, we all have opinions about things we really don’t know much of anything about. Mouthing off is also human nature. But we should always check ourselves in criticizing those who prioritize their mental health. When an NBA player breaks a leg in a game, no one would dare scream at him to “Shake it off, be a team player!” But if mentally you know you can’t compete and are risking grave bodily harm to do so, suddenly you’re “soft.” Again, I’d laugh if it wasn’t so pathetic.
Here’s the thing, no one has an obligation to compete for an Olympic gold medal for your viewing pleasure. No one. The Olympics are, of course, a public spectacle. But at its core it’s about a group of extraordinary humans pushing themselves to lengths us normal humans for the most part could never even fathom. It’s personal, it’s their bodies. And unlike some pretty topical public health requirements that have been implemented to protect us as a society (vaccinations, masks, social distancing, et al), no one should ever tell you what you can and can’t do with your own bodies. Because, here’s the thing, if Simone doesn’t compete it doesn’t truly hurt anyone else. We just won’t get to see her excellence, which is a shame because when she is at her best it is wondrous to behold. But that’s it, we’re just disappointed. She’s the one who has to deal with the hurt of training for a moment you suddenly know you can’t perform in. We should wrap her in our support and thanks, not criticize her for denying us a show.
If this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s those who do the least to protect humankind are the same ones who often demand the most of everyone else. Wear a mask to protect other people? But my FREEDOMMMMM to kill anyone I might infect by not wearing a simple piece of fabric on my face! Get vaccinated to end this pandemic? My body, my CHOOOOOICE to continue this misery and keep us from attaining herd immunity thereby taking all of us who are already vaccinated or cannot get vaccinated for health reasons hostage in an unending cycle of death, disability and suffering! (Will I work this infernal pandemic of stupidity into every post, even the Olympic ones because the world is all connected and YOU SEE THOSE EMPTY STANDS RIGHT?)
The other hopefully bigger lesson of this pandemic is that we all need to take care of our mental health. It is OK to not be OK and seek help. Our bodies don’t run without our minds. And we humans, as I’ve said before, are so fragile. But fragility is not a sign of personal failing, it’s a sign of our humanity. Think of the pressures you face on a daily basis — bills, relationships, jobs and generally just trying to navigate the random chaos of everyday existence — and now add pushing yourself to perform at the highest, hardest levels of a sport with the expectations of not only your team but your entire country and indeed the whole world on your shoulders. I know I couldn’t, I’d be crushed. So I have nothing but respect for the Simones and Naomis of the world who have said loud and clear that their lives matter more than their sports. Honestly, I’m continually in awe of these athletes. I still watch the Olympics, despite its many flaws and institutional failings, because of these magnificent humans who devote their lives to being the best they can be at something — which, a quick reminder, is about more than just winning medals.
Simone should be lifted up as an example of setting healthy priorities, not the opposite. Because if we’re disappointed, she must be devastated. But she did this because she knew her limits. No one should be forced to push past that point — especially not just for a shiny trinket. Depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, suicidal ideations — these are all serious medical issues. They hurt us as much as any broken leg. They can lead to death. They have led to death.
Being the Greatest of All Time means knowing when to stop. It means knowing that your physical and mental health are more important than any competition. In the end these are all just games, even the Olympic Games. Each one of these athletes has a life outside of what we see on TV, and deserves the best shot at as full and happy life possible. We all do. If by exiting Simone gave more athletes — and really any of us — permission to do just that then she won’t just be the greatest gymnast of all time. She’ll be one of the greatest humans. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. None of this, none of this, takes away from Sunisa Lee’s amazing, inspiring, julilant all-around gold medal. In stepping aside to protect her own health, Simone created more opportunities for her teammates to shine as well. And that, after all, should be the goal of any sporting competition, to create chances for people to be their best.
Thursday, July 29, 2021
Out, Out Damn Bra
I told you she would be avenged. After yesterday’s appalling lack of Gillian, today is all about Gillian. Well, Gillian and her girls. And can I just say, hard agree, Gillian. HARD AGREE. When this pandemic is finally over (not quite though so GO GET VACCINATED), perhaps the biggest thing I will miss is being able to go braless every single day at work. Like, I’m mad if I have to leave the house and put on a bra for longer than two hours at a time. Indeed, I HATE it. So, anyway, same Gillian. SAME. Hoping to see a lot more of you (no comment on the girls) in the new season of “Sex Education.”
Wednesday, July 28, 2021
Too Cool for School
Look, no offense to the fine students of Moordale Secondary, but what is this crap? I mean, yes, it’s great to see Maeve/Emma Mackey and Ola/Patricia Allison and Lily/Tanya Reynolds and Eric/Ncuti Gatwa, et al. Oh, and don’t think I missed Jemima Kirke/Jessa from “Girls” as the new school headmaster. But where, pray tell, is Dr. Jean? Where is Gillian? This is a travesty. An outrage! It must be AVENGED!! Am I overreacting? Definitely. Especially because I know Gillian is in the new season. So basically they’re just making us wait to see her. Which, um, a show called “Sex Education” making us wait? I’m sure there’s a naughty metaphor in there somewhere.
Tuesday, July 27, 2021
Lesbian Reality
Right, where were we? Oh yeah, Florida Lesbians! Amazon Prime described the series as about:
“The young lesbian ‘it-crowd’ navigating and celebrating life in Tampa Bay – Florida’s LGBTQ+ hub and the place to see and be seen. Always ready for an adventure or a good party, this group of loyal friends – and sometimes more than friends – is ambitious and unapologetic while constantly battling stereotypes and labels. With all eyes on these fun-loving women at this pivotal moment in their personal and professional lives, there’s not a challenge or hot-button issue they won’t tackle, even if it means getting real with one another.”So like “the Real Lesbians of Tampa Bay” or something, basically.
Now those with long enough memories will remember we’ve had a splashy lesbian reality show already, “The Real L Word,” from Ilene Chaiken herself about the young lesbian “it-crowd” in Los Angeles. The show spawned its own mini-universe of LA-based celesbians when it ran for three seasons, from 2010 to 2012, on Showtime. As I recall, they even had a location switch in the last season when the show went “bi-coastal” between LA and NY. And then, in 2014, to prove it wasn’t all about just capitalizing on sexy lesbians and their sexy drama, Ilene produced “Real L Word: Mississippi” in 2014. I watched that too, and it bummed me out about the hard hold the closet and self-loathing still has on too many (and you know, the continual horror of bigots).
Also, those with extra long memories may remember our old friend Logo lead the way in lesbian reality shows in the late 2000s — first in 2007 with “Curl Girls” about a groups of lesbian surfers and then in 2008-2009 with “Gimme Sugar” about a group of queer women promoting a nightclub. I have vague recollections of both shows, but it was harder to watch everything back then so I don’t recall if I watched either in their entirety. And, if I did, um, they didn’t leave a huge impression.
Anyway, back to Florida Lesbians. The White Party/Beach Party/Pool Party vibes from the first promo images are giving me distinct “The Real L Word” flashbacks. Plus, those hoping for a lot of butch/masc representation might be dissapointed at first glance (though, I see you top knots, I see you). Sadly, same goes for those looking for better body size representation, but alas that’s basically all of the business called show.
Time will tell if the names Ali Myers, Nelly Ramirez, Shiva Pishdad, Jordan Whitley, Marissa Gialousis, Summer Mitchell, Cuppie Bragg, Brianna Murphy, Haley Grable, Melanie Posner, Olivia Mullins and Mack McKenzie (the full cast) become emblazoned on our collective queer gal consciousnesses. But, yeah, of course I’m going to watch at least a little. Y’all know hate watching is a thing, right?
Monday, July 26, 2021
Music Monday: Brandi Edition
It’s been a long and hard pandemic for all of us, to be sure (and, it ain’t over folks). But I can imagine for such a pure performer like Brandi Carlile, being forced off the road and out of theaters and away from crowds, well, that’s got to hurt. But Brandi used her forced time off to write with her longtime collaborators the twins. They wrote so much that her latest album “In These Silent Days” will be released Oct. 1. She released the video for its first single, “Right On Time,” last week.
She told Rolling Stone about the experience of writing the record:
“Never before have the twins and I written an album during a time of such uncertainty and quiet solitude. I never imagined that I’d feel so exposed and weird as an artist without the armor of a costume, the thrill of an applause and the platform of the sacred stage. Despite all this, the songs flowed through — pure and unperformed, loud and proud, joyful and mournful.”The video is an interesting homage to larger-than-life stage personalities like Elton John and David Bowie, while Brandi herself is glassed off from the world. You know, symbolism and shit. Also, did I mention Courteney Cox directed it? Yes, that Coureney Cox. I can’t say if glam-rock Brandi is my favorite look for her, but goodness, have I missed those soaring pipes. Probably won’t be until next year when I’m able to see her again on a stage. But I will, oh I will. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, July 23, 2021
My Olympic Weekend Crush
Out Olympic rower Kenny Chase posted the video. Follow her on TikTok or Instagram and you’ll find a delightful assortment of queer affirmation and lady arm porn. Hello, rower arms and rower backs, hello. Yeah, admit it, for all its flaws it’s hard to find a more satisfying and varied display of female physical power, skill and talent than the Olympics. So light the torch and let’s queer up this place. I call upon the athletes of the world to assemble and go faster, higher, stronger, gayer in Tokyo. Happy Olympic weekend, all. * Yes, I am still mad about Sha’Carri. The former (REPUBLICAN) Speaker of the House is on the board of a cannabis company now, so let’s not pretend this is about just “following the rules” and tell it like it is. One class/race of Americans gets to profit off marijuana, the other side gets only trouble and misery. Legalize it federally and expunge all past possession convictions, period.@kennychase25 If you weren’t interested in rowing before…let me introduce our OlympiGays™️ ##olympics ##gayathlete ##rowing ##lgbtq ##lgbt🌈 ##tokyo2020 ##fyp
♬ the token straight - chloe
Thursday, July 22, 2021
Drawn Out
When last we saw Tig she was getting CGI-ed into a Vegas heist zombie apocalypse movie – as one does. And when next we see her she’ll be even more animated. See what I did there? The out lesbian comic has a new comedy special coming to HBO Max this weekend. And, yes, it is animated – which, sure, why not. Interesting concept. Also, it appears she is depicted in different animation styles throughout the show, which, sure, why not. Interesting concept. Plus, it gives us a queer representation a twofer – comedy special and animated special. Can she make it the two great things that go great together of comedy? Sure, why not?
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
Single Serving of Sara
Sara will also be a very welcome queer addition to the new revival of “Sex and the City,” HBO Max’s “And Just Like That.” The series has began filming recently in New York and while Sara isn’t in the first official photo of the famous former foursome (and now threesome, since Kim Cattrall/Samantha isn’t rejoining the series), I think we can safely say from the first on-set shots of them that The Gay will not be ignored. I mean, that outfit alone just hit on someone at Cubbyhole.
So here’s your chance, single folks. Shoot your shot. I mean, with that hair and those pipes and all that, um, you know, I doubt Sara will be single for long.Tuesday, July 20, 2021
A Real Bee Charmer
Anyway, this post is not meant to be another bummer list of grievances (because, heavens, where do we stop with that?), but a celebration of Zaila. And spelling isn’t even her best subject. Zaila’s true passion is basketball. Like, the girl has mad skills. She even holds three Guinness Book of World Records in the sport. Shooting. Dribbling. Juggling. Riding a freaking unicycle while seemingly doing all three. Like, it’s not fair to get that much mental and physical ability in one little person, right? Imagine if you won a national championship for your side hustle? All that and she has a cool name? Yeah, I can’t wait to see what she becomes when she grows up.
Monday, July 19, 2021
Music Monday: P!nk Edition
If you missed the Billboard Music Awards a couple months ago, (which, honestly, I did because who has time for non-EGOT shows in this economy?) you missed this lovely performance of P!nk. The artist formerly known as Alecia Moore performed a medley of her hits in celebration of receiving a well-deserved Icon Award. She opened her performance by performing aerial stunts with her 10-year-old daughter Willow. I’ve always liked P!nk, and well, she’s on my wife’s freebie list. So, you’re welcome, honey. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, July 16, 2021
My Weekend Crush
Thursday, July 15, 2021
Gender Fuck Thursday: The Crown Edition
“It’s all a journey right. Lots of twists and turns and change and that’s ok! Embrace it.”Life’s a journey, enjoy where it takes you and you take it. Be like Lizzo and respect people’s identities.
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
Vax That Thang Up
This isn’t particularly gay. And I don’t typically write about straight male rappers here. Though, the video also includes a lot of attractive women backing that vaxxed thing up — so there’s that. But, honestly, I kind of love it. Juvenile telling people to “Vax That Thang Up” to his “Back That Azz Up” rap booty anthem? Yes. Definitely. More of this. Sure, it’s a little cringey. Yeah, it’s actually a dating app stunt. But it’s also catchy and PEOPLE SHOULD GET FUCKING VACCINATED. Like, you wanna fuck? Get your Pfizer, Moderna, J&J or whatever they’ve got where you are. The shots are free to anyone 12 and up and freely available. GET THAT JAB, young horny people (and older horny people — and non-horny people...EVERYONE GET YOUR SHOT).
Look, COVID-19 is not done with us, particularly the frighteningly contagious Delta variant. And our Republican family members, friends, neighbors and kooks across the country are fucking up our shot at herd immunity. We’re only at 55.8% of those 12 and up fully vaccinated in America despite it being available for more than six months. So, whatever works. Shoot your shot, but get your shot first. Vax. That. Thang. Up. America.
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Franco-Foster
Would you like to watch Jodie Foster talk uninterrupted for three minutes in flawless French? Yeah, of course you do. A week ago Jodie was awarded an honorary Palme d’Or for lifetime achievement at the Cannes Film Festival in the South of France. She accepted in her typical fluent French, which, rawrrr.
One of the things I love about Jodie’s current career moment is how completely herself she has finally become. After years of being the secretive one, she’s now truly the brave one as she has allowed the world into her personal life. I mean, not a lot. But enough so that we all know Jodie is happily married to a woman, the also very talented Alexandra Hedison (who possibly dodged a bullet by not marrying that other lesbian), and they walk the red carpet together and they canoodle in public and they kiss when she wins major award and it’s all very normal because that’s what being gay and in a relationship is. Kissing your wife when you feel like it, holding her arm when out on the town. I’m so happy for her — and not just because she was honored at Cannes this year. But because she seems happy and herself. And, in the end, isn’t that what we all want? Oh, that and to be able to speak flawless French, like Jodie.
Also, I don’t mean to be that creep, but goodness they’re a handsome couple.
Monday, July 12, 2021
Music Monday: Free Britney, Bitch
Britney Spears is, hands down, one of the best pop performers we’ve ever produced. “Toxic” is still an all-time banger. Hell, they’re all still bangers. Because Britney embodies the pop aesthetic perfectly. As it turned out, too perfectly. That this very talented woman has been under conservatorship for the last 13 years, and is now petitioning to get out is a painful reminder that free will is never guaranteed. This is what we do, I guess, when women “act out.” Like, sure, she shaved her head and hit a car with her umbrella. Robert Downey Jr. infamously woke up in a strange kid’s bed after yet another drug bender. Yet he maintained his career and his financial and personal decision making and his free fucking will throughout (I mean, he did go to jail a few times, but still no one filed to take away his decision making abilities altogether.) Anyway, this is a long way of saying Free Britney, Bitch.
While obviously the whole jailbait branding of her early career was problematic. But then selling sex is pretty much a fundamental keystone of rock ’n roll. Like if you didn’t realize you were a gay lady before watching the 2000 VMAs, I’m pretty sure you knew right after a then 18-year-old Britney tore off those tuxedo pants. Hello. May the courts realize this and let this not-a-girl-definitely-a-grown-ass-almost-40-year-old woman run her own life. Yet last month the court denied her request to remove her father as a conservator. As if we needed more reminders of the iron-fist patriarchy imposes over young girls and women already. Look, while it’s healthy to seek help — especially in times of mental distress, removing one’s free will is never truly helping. In fact it’s exactly the opposite. So, go get ‘em, Brit-Brit.
Friday, July 09, 2021
My Weekend Crush
But that it was delayed, by six damn decades, just because of her gender was and is just outrageous. That we continue to create barriers to employment, pay, opportunity, accomplishment based on our gender, our race, our sexuality or any of the other traits that divide us (but shouldn’t) is maddening. That we continue to accept these disparities is outrageous. We’ve never had a female U.S. president? Insane. Only four of the current Fortune 500 CEOs are Black? Shameful. It wasn not until earlier this year we saw the first out gay Cabinet member (Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg) and first out transgender federal official (Assistant Secretary of Health Rachel Levine) to be confirmed by the U.S. Senate. Unacceptable.
Seeing a story like this reminds me of that whole genre of stories meant to pull on the hearstrings, but when you actually think about it they are just pretty sad. Like when a high school science club has to build a disabled grader schooler a wheel chair out of Legos because the kid’s insurance won’t cover a real one. That’s not heartwarming. That’s a society with its priorities horribly askew. We should be demanding that all people have access to equal medical care because wealth shouldn’t determine health. But instead healthcare is a business. Our lives are just ways to make money.
Seeing stories like this is also supposed to remind us how far we have come. But this is not the ancient history we wish it was. Gwen is 70. Ruby Bridges, the first Black child to integrate a white school in the South, is 66. If Martin Luther King were still alive today he would be 92. Hell, Jimmy Carter was born before MLK and is still building houses at age 96. Our history is still very much alive and all around us. The bad old days were not as far away as we pretend. And those same ideological forced keep trying to bring them back (cough, voter suppression, cough) to our present day.
So, as happy as I am for Gwen and all the Gwens of the world who are lucky enough to have a long-standing wrong righted, may we strive to be a better society from the start – invite more people to follow their dreams without having to worry that the arbitrary nature of their gender or race or sexuality or anything else will hold them back. Happy weekend, all.
Thursday, July 08, 2021
Gender Fuck Thursday: 100% That Ally
Lizzo is great. Demi Lovato is great. Lizzo supporting Demi by correcting their misgendering by some paparazzo on the street? Super great. I know sometimes we all mess up, and might misgender someone on accident. But what’s important is that we’re trying and being respectful. And if you’re an ally, you can show support by lifting the weight of having to constantly correct people’s mistakes – inadvertent or not. Be 100% that bitch for your queer, trans, non-binary friends and each other, always.
Wednesday, July 07, 2021
Force Majeure Gay
In case you were wondering, yes, cartoons have gotten a lot gayer. Between the rebooted “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power” on Netflix and the “Harley Quinn” animated series on HBO Max, you’d think things couldn’t get gayer. But while those two animated series have queer ladies a welcome dose of slow-burn same-sex superhero smoochies, “Q-Force” is just out from the start. The new animated series gets right to the gay stuff unlike “She-Ra” which took five seasons and “Harley” which took two to officially get there (granted, both shows had super queer aesthetics and LGBTQ auxiliary characters from the start). So don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed and appreciated both those shows. But this cranks the gay up past even Bow’s outfit on She-Ra. Plus there is a character named Twink and Wanda Sykes. So, yeah, I will definitely watch.
Tuesday, July 06, 2021
Let's Fucking Get Paid Equally
Yeah, I know it’s not Women’s History Month anymore or Pride Month anymore, but equality should be a 12-months a year proposition anyway. As much as some of the recent Olympic decisions (see: the Sha’carri Richardson nonsense among other things) have been unjust and ridiculous, I am still excited to see some of our nation’s best athletes – female athletes in particular – get to showcase their excellence. Now, that that excellence should be paid at the same rate as their male counterparts should not be controversial. Yet here we are. Like, it’s crazy-making to realize we as women still have to fight this hard just to get equal pay. Just like it’s crazy we’ve never had a woman elected president. And it’s crazy so few female CEOS still exist. And, of course, all these things are compounded by intesectionality meaning if it’s this hard for a team of (largely) white women to get pay equity think how much harder it is for women of color to get there, and then add in the exponential variables of sexuality and gender identity. Well, in short, fucking pay humans the same amount for the same work - period. And LFG USWNT.
Monday, July 05, 2021
Music Monday: Serotonin Edition
Just to prove that Pride lives on in our hearts, here’s some Girl in Red to boost your Serotonin. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, July 02, 2021
My Weekend Crush
“My girlfriend actually picked my color. She said it like spoke to her, the fact that it was just so loud and vibrant, and that’s who I am.”Following the publication of that little tidbit, Sha’Carri tweeted a rainbow so, yeah, welcome to the Family. My love of the Olympics is no secret as the only acceptable time to scream “USA! USA!” (Only other acceptable usage is during the Women’s World Cup, but not the men’s – these are the rules.) I can’t wait to cheer/scream for Sha’Carri this summer. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. Well, shit. Are they really going to kick her off the Olympic team for a little weed? White men across the country are making multi-millions selling it legally at dispensaries that look like Apple stores. Come on now, no one in their right mind would call it performance enhancing.
Thursday, July 01, 2021
Proud Pauli
Pride Month may be officially over (though, given Queer Standard Time, it will continue to play through the end of the week here at Surrenders because we still haven’t passed the Equality Act so at very least we get a couple extra days in lieu of full civil rights…) Also, any time is a good time to learn about our badass queer elders.
The thing about history is it always matters who gets to tell theirs. Whose stories do we uplift and whose lives do we ignore? The answer is painfully obvious to anyone paying any kind of attention. Straight white men have always had their history told. But women? POC? Queer people? Gender non-conforming folks? Yeah, good luck with that. So learning about our true history and respecting our trailblazing queer elders is largely up to us. So it’s exciting to see Pauli Murray – a Black non-binary legal scholar who influenced legal greats like Thurgood Marshall and Ruth Bader Ginsburg – finally get their due.
I think we can all relate to their simple desire for a better, kinder, more equal world. A world where we are all free to be our most authentic selves. A country that won’t fight against our most basic humanity. How remarkable to be able to express all this so convincingly in a culture that did not even have the words yet to describe how they truly felt about themselves.
One need only look at the current totally manufactured and completely racist right-wing campaign against Critical Race Theory to realize how crucial an accurate telling of history is in our everyday lives. A whole political party right now is trying to tell you that America is not, and never has been, a racist country. So they are doing everything in their power to make sure their false history is taught instead. Because who gets to tell their history helps shape what the world will look like in the future. And, honestly, they would rather not share. Too many would rather we didn’t tell the truth about ourselves, so that they may continue to ignore and forget the hard work and harder battles that got us to where we are today. Our union may still be imperfect, but we wouldn’t make the progress we have without those the history books routinely leave out. Happy Bonus Pride Days, kittens.
Wednesday, June 30, 2021
Proud L Words
Start Pride with “The L Word” and end Pride with “The L Word.” Now that’s what I call the ultimate Gay Lady bookends for June. The full trailer for the new season of “The L Word: Generation Q” has arrived and it’s filled with tons of Lesbian Drama and many big Queer Choices, per usual. Like that Gigi (Alice’s current girlfriend’s ex-wife, because queer ladies and their exes, amirite?) is making out with Bette (ex-wife of Tina who now looks to engaged to Rosie freaking O’Donnell). Or that Shane is making at very least eyes at a married lady. And the humbling fact that Angelica is old enough to make out with anyone (but yay for her and Jordi). All in all, I feel ready and excited to have these total hot messes back in my life. Happy Last Day of Pride, kittens.
Tuesday, June 29, 2021
Watch a Kajillion Times
On this, the penultimate day of Pride Month, I’m here to recommend an undiscovered gem of a movie. I posted about the trailer last August, when I wondered if it contained anything even remotely queer. Well, kittens, the answer is yes. The movie from offbeat filmmaker Miranda July (if you ever saw “You Me and Everyone We know,” you’ll know exactly what I mean by offbeat) is as offbeat as you would suspect. It stars Evan Rachel Wood (doing her best Elizabeth Holmes voice), Gina Rodriguez (who, goodness, can she fill out a simple T-shirt pair of jeans) and a nearly unrecognizable Debra Winger (I really did pause the trailer to make sure that was here). It’s hard to explain what this movie (essentially about a family of low-level grifters and the stranger who enters their lives) is truly about other than to say it’s about family dysfunction and finally finding the tenderness you need. Go into it without expectations and just enjoy its unhurried unfurling. It’s streaming right now on HBO Max. Did I mention Evan & Gina have great chemistry? Because, yeah, they do.
If you’ve watched the movie, watch the clip below. If you have not watched the movie, DO NOT WATCH THE CLIP BELOW. It’s basically the entire end of the movie. But goodness, did I rewatch the heck out of it after finishing the movie. Hello.
Monday, June 28, 2021
Music Matters: The Girls Edition
As a dutiful lesbian, I actually saw The Girls sing this at the Fillmore back in 2016. This isn’t the same night (they’re wearing different shirts). But each of the many (many) time I’ve seen them live I’ve reveled in the joy that is a room full of queer women (and their friends) singing the same songs at the top of their lungs. So get out your own map in these waning days of Pride and make the most of whatever comes your way. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, June 25, 2021
Vacation Vixen: Kate & Tina
Thursday, June 24, 2021
Vacation Vixen: Jodie & Alexandra
Wednesday, June 23, 2021
Vacation Vixen: Samira & Lauren
Tuesday, June 22, 2021
Vacation Vixen: Sarah & Holland
Monday, June 21, 2021
Music Monday: Hayley Edition
Would it even be Pride Month if lesbian pop princess Hayley Kiyoko/Lesbian Jesus didn’t put out another cinematic queer music video featuring her kissing another lady? Like each one of her mini movie videos are gorgeous little gay romances and I can’t even begin to imagine how reaffirming it must feel to see those as a tween or teen or queer person coming out really at any age really. Get your Pride on and get your girl and ride off into that sunset, ladies. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, June 18, 2021
My Weekend Crush
She has worked steadily since her six seasons on “Designing Women” ended in 1991. But she’s only recently gotten the acclaim she has deserved all along for her work. In part, I think it’s because she can chameleon herself so well into roles. She was ditzy Charlene for so many. But underneath has always been a sharp, incisive talent able to become whatever she needs to be in the moment.
Whether she’s playing the matriarch to a crime family (“Fargo”) or a FBI Agent Laurie Blake (“Watchmen”) or Kate Winslet’s long-suffering caustic mother (“Mare of Easttown”) or a comedy legend fighting the sunsetting of her career (“Hacks”) she makes you believe. And, truly, that’s all you can ask from an actor. That their performance engrosses you so much you almost forget who they are.
Her most recent work, the HBO Max series “Hacks,” in particular showcases her in a way that cannot be ignored. While she has been an always excellent supporting star, giving her a start turn at 69 is inspired and so well deserved. She fully inhabits the complicated loneliness of success, ambition, privilege and passion as female comedy icon Deborah Vance.
(Not to mention the show’s other star, Hannah Einbinder, plays a bisexual up-and-coming comedy writer. And they may or may not kiss at some point on screen which I will say no more about but yeah it happens. Also Hannah is also an out bisexual in real life, and the daughter of SNL great Laraine Newman — yes, really.)
After a steady career these last 30 years after leaving “Designing Women,” Jean most definitely deserves all the “Jean Smartaissance” talk. Like, if she doesn’t start next year off with an Emmy or two, then what even is the point?
Also, did you know that Jean married her “Designing Women” co-star Richard Gilliland (who actually played Annie Potts character Mary Jo’s boyfriend) in 1987 and they were together until his death earlier this spring? Oh, and here’s one last bit of fascinating Jean Smart trivia. She is a direct descendent of Dorcas Hoar, one of the last women convicted of witchcraft (but whose life was spared) during the Salem witch trials during the late 17th Century.
Yes, Jean Smart is a direct descendent of the witches they could not burn. I guess that truly explains it all. Happy weekend, all.
P.s. “Hacks” is as excellent as everyone has said, even if I’m miffed at them for the very obvious, self-destructive “twist” at the end which *yawn* we all saw coming. But there will be a second season to make up for it, so on with the show.
Thursday, June 17, 2021
Gender Fuck Thursday: Villanelle's Accents
Some Thursdays you just need to watch Villanelle/Jodie Comer strut around in a beautiful pin-stripe suit while impeccable running through four accents in under a minute just to impress Eve/Sandra Oh. And that Thursday is today.
Wednesday, June 16, 2021
So Much Gay Fear
Is it progress for us to be terrorized over and over again in horror films? Let’s find out. The trailer for the “Fear Street” movie trilogy (yes, three of them all ready to go) was released and it definitely looks like it has queer female couples in various states of distress through time. Now, I’m not a big horror person — the world is violent and scary enough as is. But, I am interested to see how the queer storylines play out. While it’s seemingly clever to have the same town terrorized over-and-over again through history, doesn’t each film look basically like reruns of other well-known horror tropes? Like we’ve got summer camp killers and witch trial hauntings and on-trend 90s nostalgia. Anyway, someone summarize how the gays fare for me once this comes out so I don’t have to watch from behind my pillow.
p.s. In six-degrees of playing queer separation, one of the only truly identifiable leads from the films, “Community” star Gillian Jacobs, was in the lesbian buddy/straight buddy best friend dramedy “Life Partners.” But as the straight buddy. So, you know, there is still time for that ceremonial toaster oven if this movie pans out. We shall see.
Tuesday, June 15, 2021
Ma Belle, Ma Threesome
Well, this certainly looks interesting. “Ma Belle, My Beauty” is the story of a polyamourous love triangle set in sun-dappled South of France. Yeah, I know, there’s a dude. I have no idea how it all ends or what viewers will be left with at the end. But I am certainly game to give the film about a married husband and wife who have their female third return to their lives after a two-year absence. The film is the first feature from Marion Hill, a Vietnamese-French-English filmmaker who describes her work as “devoted to narratives and visuals of queer femininity and femme power.” So, you know, thumbs up to that. Look, I’m a sucker for beautiful foreign settings and (duh) beautiful women. And this film has that baked right into the title.
Monday, June 14, 2021
Music Monday: Sleater-Kinney Edition
Any queer gal alive in the late 90s, early 00s can likely fall down an endless memory hole with the mere mention of Sleater-Kinney. With everything 90s being back (hello, The Linda Lindas, you adorably awesome feminist scamps), it only seems right that some of the O.G.s are staking their claim again on the musical landscape. But since the departure of drummer Janet Weiss from the band in 2019, it’s been an adjustment to the new duo Sleater-Kinney of Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein. So it only seems appropriate that “Worry With You” is an anthem to new and possibly messy relationships. I don’t know what’s in those little blue bottles, but it seems to be working – for better or for worse. Happy Monday, kittens.
Friday, June 11, 2021
My Weekend Crush
I didn’t grow up with “Blues Clues,” and my niece and nephews are too old to watch now. So basically all I know about the Nickelodeon show is that the original popular kiddie show host left abruptly a few years into the show’s run because, in part, he didn’t really want to be a popular kiddie show host for the rest of his life. So, you know, understandable. Apparently the show was rebooted on Nick in 2019 and now it’s surely about to get a lot of the MAGA/Christian Right/Wingnuttery Wing people pearl clutching because they dared to create a fun virtual Pride parade song for children featuring “RuPaul's Drag Race Season” contestant Nina West. Oh no, how will children handle the radical notion that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, non-binary, pansexual and asexual people exist in this world? WHO WILL PROTECT THE CHILDREN?!? (Unless, of course, that child needs health insurance, or a free school lunch, or food stamps, or childcare, or protection from gun violence, or…)
Honestly, if you’re a parent and you don’t explain LGBTQ people to your children you’re not really doing a great job as a parent. Because we exist, as much as these people would rather we didn’t. Part of being a parent should be explaining that humanity comes in all different shapes and sizes and races and ethnicities and sexualities. But somehow whenever it comes to LGBTQ+ people, telling children we exist is “indoctrination” or “communism.” (Yes, really, communism.) Like, sure, tell children an imaginary fairy breaks into their homes and steals their teeth in exchange for money in the dead of the night, but acknowledging a cartoon transgender beaver is TOO MUCH. It’s so endlessly tiresome. Anyway, enjoy this fun, upbeat and inclusive song. Kids should be told LGBTQ+ people exist, period. Also, you know this song is a bop. Like, we know how to celebrate because for centuries the world has tried to stop us from doing just that. Happy Weekend, all you glorious queers.
p.s. Honestly, the only thing I don’t understand about the song is why the numbers don’t coincide with the animated animals. They’re not going by fives and sevens, right? Did I forget how to count during the pandemic. Or is this like Queer Standard Time where we make our own rules because the world won’t let us play by theirs?
Thursday, June 10, 2021
Army of Tig
The out comic wasn’t originally part of the movie. She came on board later after the film had finished shooting, when they had to recast the role of comic Chris D’Elia who was originally tapped to play the role of the pilot. But after filming was done, D’Elia’s history of sexually pursuing underage girls got him the Kevin Spacey treatment. Like, whoops, we cast a gross sex monster. Our bad. Let’s pretend this never happened, eh?
As much as I am all for recasting disgusting sexual predators and zapping them out of pop culture, how boring was that casting choice in the first place? Like, you take this zombie movie with a somewhat diverse cast and then pick the most uninspired and uninspiring straight white man for its main comic relief role? That’s just lazy casting, folks. But you put someone like Tig in the role and automatically it’s more interesting. So it’s the proverbial win-win, you don’t go for the obvious/lazy choice who also happens to be a major sex pest and instead hire an out actor who cleans up so well she basically looks like a lesbian Tom Cruise.
But, again, I really can’t recommend this movie. Unless, of course, you want to see how well they did green screening Tig into the picture. Yes, all her scenes were shot against a green screen. In fact, she only interacted on set with one of the movie’s other actors, Ana de la Reguera. I think they did a pretty good job of editing the gross dude out and Tig in. But then, even if they’d used a cardboard cut-out of Tig instead of that D’Elia, it would have been a vast improvement.
Wednesday, June 09, 2021
The Soft Butch Detective
I started “Mare of Easttown” a little late, binging most of the season and then watching the last two episodes in real time. I really don’t have a great excuse for why I didn’t start promptly, other than that it’s been a long 15 months and I’m not perfect – OK. I’M NOT PERFECT. Kidding! (I obviously am perfect.) Kidding, but for real this time. Anyway. Back to Mare and her Easttown. Honestly the show was custom-made for me. A veteran lady detective who is Very Good at her job. A twisty-turny case. A lot of weird accents. A significant queer female character (that, bonus points & spoilers … does not die!) All that plus Kate Winslet. Come on, I have no idea why I waited. And it is also the second consecutive Certifiable Soft Butch™ role of Kate’s career (after “Ammonite,” the lesbian rocks/spoilers…sitting on Kate Winslet’s face movie). Besides all the Wawa subs, the best thing about the series was the space it gave its lead female performers to just act the shit out of everything. Kate, Jean Smart, Julianne Nicholson and Angourie Rice brought despair, grit, frailty and humanity to their roles. They were a pleasure to watch, even if Easttown does not entirely seem like a pleasure to live in.
Plus, it gives us another opportunity to see that other Kate, Kate McKinnon, do what she does best. I really, really enjoyed “Mare of Easttown,” and if I’m being perfectly honest with myself I would totally also watch “Murder Durder.”
Tuesday, June 08, 2021
Second Feel
I watched the first season of “Feel Good” when it came out in basically one sitting at the start of the pandemic. And while I liked it, I wasn’t really in the right mood to fully appreciate the lives of these complicated, messy, occasionally unlikable and often frustrating queer people. Yes, yes – I know no one wants to watch happy perfect people (queer or otherwise). But all last year I leaned hard into comforting stories (think “Schitt’s Creek,” “Great British Baking Show” et al) because of how uncomforting everything in the world felt.
So as much as I thought the semi-autobiographical story of queer comic Mae Martin’s life/love/recovery/relapse/gender identity was well done, I just wasn’t in the right place to truly appreciate it. Now, after the Orange Stain is out of the White House and the pandemic is (sorta, kinda) coming under control, I feel I might be in a better headspace to enjoy another helping of Mae & their Complicated (Big C) Life. So, thoughts on the first second? Excited for the second? I mean, obviously, any show with Lisa Kudrow deserves a second chance – or basically all the chances.
Monday, June 07, 2021
Music Mondays: The Linda Lindas
Fuck – and I mean this most sincerely – Yeah! It took me longer than it should have to finally watch The Linda Lindas and their viral hit “Racist, Sexist Boy” (live from the LA Library). But now that it has I have it an “It’s Pride Again” stuck in my head on an endless loop. As someone who actually lived through the Riot grrrl era, I am so incredibly pleased (and perhaps a little proud) that the next generation has chosen to continue to embrace the feminist punk perspective and aesthetic (I see that Bikini Kill T-shirt, I certainly do). It’s one of the vestiges of the 90s I’m actually glad are back, unlike acid wash mom jeans. I’m also glad it’s becoming more inclusive and more diverse. The more the merrier when it comes to smashing the patriarchy (and guitars). So rock on, The Linda Lindas with your new record deal. Racist, sexist boys everywhere can fuck – and I mean this most sincerely – right off.
Friday, June 04, 2021
My Weekend Crush
p.s. If the first teaser trailer for the second season is any indication, plenty of fighting, fucking, crying, drinking will be happening. As it should be.
Thursday, June 03, 2021
A New Hunger
I’m excited about this movie for a few reasons including but not limited to that Angela is a talented director (“D.E.B.S.” remains campy fun and you know it), she knows her way around a lesbian vampire (hello, “True Blood” much), and this means I can watch “The Hunger” without my residual distaste for all things Susan Sarandon (no, ma’am, Trump and Clinton were emphatically NOT exactly the same). I’m always a sucker for a lesbian vampire, no matter how bad the movie (and, kittens, “The Hunger” was not good), so I hope this movie can give us the lesbian vampirism we deserve. Or at least a chance for me to watch the O.G. lesbian vampire movie concept without she whose name will not be spoken again. What? If immortal lesbian vampires can be a thing I can hold a grudge for five years and counting no problem.
Wednesday, June 02, 2021
Sex & The Sara
But now I’m super thrilled that the new revival will at least have one bona fide queer person of color in the cast. Sara Ramirez, who identifies as bisexual and non-binary, has joined the cast as “Che Diaz (they/them), a nonbinary, queer stand-up comedian who hosts a podcast on which Carrie is regularly featured.” The Hollywood Reporter also called their character a “big presence with a big heart whose outrageous sense of humor and progressive, human overview of gender roles has made them and their podcast very popular.”
So, basically, it sounds like Sara’s Che is the replacement for Kim Cattrall’s Samantha. The feud between Kim and series star Sarah Jessica Parker is far from secret, but props to Kim for requesting (and apparently having said request granted) that whoever be cast to replace her character be more inclusive than the lily-white original series cast. As for its queer female representation over the years, it’s been mostly Very Special Episode territory. Remember when Carrie kissed Alanis Morissette and Miranda kiss a random lesbian on the elevator and Charlotte dressed as a Drag King and Samantha dated a lady for a few episodes? Let’s hope for more authentic queerness in the new series. I mean, we’ve all come a long way since SATC premiered back in 1998. Heck, both Sara and Cynthia were perceived as straight back then. So grab a cocktail and let’s see what happens.
Tuesday, June 01, 2021
Show Your Pride
HAPPY PRIDE, KITTENS. Yes, it’s back. Pride has returned and for all the understandable grumbling about the corporatization and straightification of Pride Month, let’s not forget what it’s really all about. Looking good on the back of a Dykes on Bikes motorcycle. Or the HRC or GLAAD float. KIDDING! Honestly, I don’t even know how many years it’s been since I went to the actual parade, let alone made it up early enough to see the Dykes on Bikes. Still for all our complaining about Pride, I do actually love it - or at least the sentiment of it if not the exact in-the-moment experience. So, let’s reminisce. Favorite Pride memories? Like can you believe it’s been 16 years since Dana, Alice & Shane abandoned Dana’s little brother with Jenny only to have him realize his own sexuality and have the best Pride ever? Break out the rainbow tchotchkes, fellow queers, this month is OURS.


























