SGALGG: Thankful Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, or what I like to call SGALGG – that acronym that sounds like you’re choking on a cracker. But this being a week where we give thanks to what we’re thanksful for, I am thankful for how delicious two straight ladies look when they’re acting totally gay. Also, cheese. I’m thankful for cheese. But mostly the thing about how beautiful two women can look together. Like, for instance, Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman. Now that is an attractive couple anyone would be delighted to invite over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Lea Michele & Michelle ChoHow dare she cheat on Dianna like this.

Lisa Edelstein & Dianna AgronDianna, as you can see, did not take Lea’s indiscretion lightly.

Emily Blunt & Allison JanneyIt is taking all of Emily’s will power not to look down.

Tracie Thoms Shanola Hampton & Emmy RossumShanola* is all, “Honey, not here. Later, later.”

*Apologies, she looks so much like Tracie in that picture. Also, I’ve never seen Shameless.


Mary McCormack, Gina Gershon & Kathryn HahnIn Gina’s defense, Mary clearly doesnt care if people look her in the eyes or not.

Jennifer Carpenter & Julie BenzIf only Deb and Rita had dated instead. For one thing, Rita would probably still be alive.

Maggie Q & Aisha TylerIf they just keep smiling, maybe no one will notice the piece of Maggie’s jacket Aisha ripped out earlier while, um, you know.

Gillian Anderson & Kate WinsletNow Kiss. Now Kiss. Now Kiss. NOW KISS.

Olivia Wilde & Sasha AlexanderSo, admittedly, they’re not doing anything particularly gay together here. But seeing them together is making all women all over the planet gay.

Body of a Greek goddess

Yes, I’ve been talking about Jaime Murray a lot lately. No, I will not apologize. I mean, have you seen her? You have eyes, right? Have you seen her in a bikini? In fact, my Jaime Murray obsession of late has yielded some unexpected fruits. And, yes, I mean fruits in the totally gay way. So allow me to please take you back in the my way-back machine (you say potato, I say Tardis) to a little year known as 2008. Yes, kids, think back to when we all were still starry eyed about that Hope-y Change-y thing and a show called “Valentine” appeared on our TVs. Now, you probably do not remember this show. I do not remember this show. That’s because it aired for only aired four episodes on the CW before being canceled (the last four episodes were burned off the next summer).

But those who do remember it, or those who are similarly obsessed stalkers diligent researchers like me may have found a few of the episodes online. And this is where we all have to thank Al gore again because what I found was this entirely delightful, totally gay episode of “Valentine.” First, let me set the premise for you. “Valentine” is about a group of immortal Greek gods living in modern day and acting as matchmakers for unsuspecting folks. Jaime plays the matriarch of the family, Aphrodite. One look at Jaime in her bikini and you will know where the saying, “Body of a Greek god” comes from.

The Valentine clan also enlisted a mortal human writer to help them in their matchmaking. Among their cases is an adorable little lesbian couple who dated in college. Oh, first girlfriends, how we never really escape you. If you have 20 minutes to spare, this is really too cute to pass up. Also, you get to hear Jaime say, “I’ve always had a soft spot for lesbians.” Yeah, you’re clicking play right now, aren’t you?

See? So cute. Also, the first time Aphrodite and their human sidekick meet, this happens. (Come on, I know you have a minute and 39 seconds to spare.)

I think Jaime’s Aphrodite and Anna Silk’s Bo need to get together and make the whole universe feel alright. Or, at very least, us ladies.

My Weekend Crush

Goddamit, if I “2 Broke Girls” more doesn’t make me laugh like an idiot. I know, I know – there are still some problematic racial overtones. Though, thankfully, they’ve begun toning those down a bit. And, no, it’s not necessarily high art. And, yes, I still think the horse is crazy. But, fuck it, sometimes you just want to chuckle uncontrollably at the sight of two girls stuffing cupcakes down each other’s shirts. Plus there’s absolutely no denying the comedic and comely charms of Kat Dennings. She’s really why I tuned in in the first place. (Well, that and friendo to the lesbians Liz Feldman writes for the show.) While Kat’s delivery bothered me at first, it has developed a nice rhythm now that is her own distinct style. I also like that she’s not a bean pole (we’ve got the equally delightful Beth Behrs for that already). Heavens, does her waitress uniform fit her tightly nicely. I hadn’t seen Kat in much before the show. But from what I can gather she’s a geek dream girl alternative to Zooey Deschanel. For those who prefer their ladies with a little more vavoom and a little less cutsie. And I have this unstoppable urge to touch her oversized upper lip. And her milky skin. I think they’d be soft – so soft. Happy weekend, all.

Liz + Leslie = Happiness

Do you know who I haven’t talked about in ages. I mean, really, AGES? My Fake TV Wife Tina Fey. As much as I’ve been enjoying the new fall TV season and some of its very promising additions, I can’t help but feel a little empty, Tina-shaped place in my heart. With “30 Rock” being delayed until mid-season, I’ve missed my weekly dose of Liz Lemon more than you can imagine. It’s not that I don’t love (love, love) the unbridled optimism and adorable competence of Leslie Knope each week. I’d be totally lost without at least a little Knope in my life. But I need the yang to that yin. I need me some Lemon. The sharply sour to all that smartly sweet. And now, as I mentioned earlier this week, the TV gods has seen it within their generous hearts to make my wildest dreams come true by programming “30 Rock” and “Parks & Recreation” back-to-back at 8 and 8:30 starting Jan. 12 on NBC. I’m already creating a “Do Not Disturb, I’m Lemon-Knoping” sign to hang on my virtual doorknob. Having Tina Fey and Amy Poehler properly together on the TV lineup means all is right with the universe again. It means two terrific comedies with two equally terrific examples of strong females who know how to bring the funny will be filling our lives for a solid hour each week. And with that, how about we get a little taste of what makes Liz and Leslie such perfect compliments to each other. Finally, my Thursday nights will be perfect again.

On Female Stereotypes

Liz on her period.


Leslie on every other stereotype.


On Food

Liz loves her Night Cheese.


Leslie loves her breakfast food.



On Bad Accents

Liz goes Jamaican.


Leslie goes cockney.


On Valentine’s Day

Liz likes oral.


Leslie likes gals.


On The Gay

Liz knows lesbians.


Leslie knows gays.

See, perfect. Hurry back to Amy, Tina. We’ve all missed you two together.

Out of this world

Being gay means lots of things. It means you fall in love a little differently than most of the world. It means you are hated irrationally by some of the world. It means still don’t have all the same rights as the rest of the world. And it means you’re going to have to tell the world you’re gay and therefore all of those different, hated, unequal things in the first place. It’s a lot to ask of a person to admit to. Yet so many of us do because to not would mean to not be who we really are.

Still, coming out is always your choice. Because it’s your life. And no one can tell how to live your life. And no one can tell you who you are. Only you can do that for yourself. At your own time. When you are ready.

Last night’s “Glee” was many things. It was way too focused on the vomit-inducing student-teacher cliché that is Puck and Shelby. It was way too invested in this ridiculous Crazy Quinn storyline and its equally ridiculous commentary on adoption. It was too confused about election law and what constitutes legal, non-slanderous political advertising. And it was probably way too close to home for many young or questioning people who aren’t out of the closet.

Let’s get this out of the way immediately: No one has the right to out you. When you come out is up to you, period.

So then just because Santana can be a raging bitch sometimes, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Just because she’s mean to Finn, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Just because she hasn’t made the decision to be out for herself yet, doesn’t mean she deserves to be outed. Santana did not deserve to be outed.

The last four minutes of “Glee” last night were particularly powerful. And, no, not just because that Adele mash-up is still SOFA KING AMAZING even after 3,876 repeat viewings. But because it showed, through Naya Rivera’s extraordinarily nuanced performance, what it means to be outed. You can see Santana’s whole world crumble in an instant. “I can’t believe this is happening.” “I haven’t even told my parents yet.” It’s all there, on the surface. The panic. The fear. The despair.

And here’s the other thing about being gay. Straight people, even the super allies and the most supportive, they can’t know what it is to come out. They’ll never have to do it. They don’t know what it means. What a big step it is. What a difficult confession it can be to even just to ourselves. That’s not really their fault, but it’s also not their place to judge. So when Finn tells Santana in a crowded school hallway that she should come out of the closet, that’s not just getting revenge – that’s imploding a life. And when he calls her a “coward” for not being out, well, that is almost as bad as outing her. Also the stuff about Brittany maybe not loving her back, that was just fucking mean.

Being in the closet can be a terrible burden. Carrying a secret can crush you slowly. But being ripped out of the closet before you’re ready is even worse. There could be very real consequences from being outed. Being kicked out to losing your job to being bullied to being beaten to even worse. So, then being ready to face that, being prepared – well, that’s everything.

But then, here’s the thing about being out. It’s better when you’re out. Maybe not right away. Maybe not for a long time. But it’s better to be open. It’s better to accept and embrace and love who you are for all the world to see. And once the world sees you, it’ll see you’re not so scary – we’re not so scary. Coming out matters because knowing a gay person makes it hard to hate us unconditionally. It’s easier to hate blindly what you think you don’t know or think you haven’t met. Because, make no mistake, we are everywhere.

That’s why there is one important exception to the outing rule. Those who hide their truth while actively using their power and position against us, they shall be afforded no quarter. Those conservative politicians who vote against our right to equality under the law, but shtup strangers in airplane restrooms. Those powerful players who call us an abomination, yet hire rentboys to tend to them on the weekends. That’s not coming to terms with oneself, that’s just pure hypocrisy. And that will not stand.

So, yes, it is better when you’re out. But that doesn’t mean it’s better before you’re ready, before you’re safe, before you decide. For some of us it’s a lifelong journey. And that’s OK, too. The goal is always to be honest and happy with yourself. So we get up each day, look ourselves in the mirror, and hope we like the person staring back at us – however long it takes. And when you do, we’ll be here. Because while you may feel alone, you’re not alone. That’s the other thing about being gay, you get a whole new family. And we love you, unconditionally.

Tank Top Tuesday

Sure, it’s fall. A lovely crispness has crept into the air. The leaves are showing off with one last colorful hurrah. And soon it’ll be all mittens and scarves. But that doesn’t mean we have to abandon the beauty of the simple, sheer tank top. In fact, I would argue there is no base garment more suited to the layering process thus making it an integral part of any wardrobe through all four seasons. Or, at least that’s how I’m rationalizing it in my head. Also, pretty much every place you go has nice, toasty indoor heating. So, like the indescribably lovely Shelley Conn above, get autumnal with your tank tops to your heart’s content. Just, you know, bring a jacket for when you have to go back outside.

Anna SilkHoly Badass Blue-Eyed Bo, Batman. Super Succubus came out to play, and it was lip-licking good. Check out this week’s “Lost Girl” SnapCap later today on AfterEllen.

Lena HeadeyAs happy as I am to have Lena back on TV on the regular, her new “Game of Thrones” role requires she wear considerably fewer tank tops than her “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” gig did.

Sasha AlexanderAs excited as I am about the return of “Rizzoli & Isles” in two weeks, I’m also nervous. What if I’ve forgotten how to write a good subtext recap? Better pray extra hard to the gayzzoli gods Nov. 28th.

Camila GreySometimes I remember out of the blue that Cam and Leisha like to kiss on planes, and it makes my whole week.

Liv TylerI like that Liv has gotten a tad thicker since her dancing with Alicia Silverstone in her dad’s music videos days. It suits her.

Marsha ThomasonMarsha gets to kiss her gorgeous girlfriend on “White Collar,” and then get kissed by the gorgeous Kat Dennings on “2 Broke Girls.” Some women have all the luck.

Aubrey PlazaNBC is finally making my dream Thursday night happen and airing “30 Rock” and “Parks & Recreation” back-to-back at 8 and 8:30 starting Jan. 12. There is a TV god, and she loves me.

Diane KeatonDid you know Diane Keaton was on Twitter? She tweets some really interesting photos. She has a nice eye. Also nice on the eyes? Vintage Diane in a tank top.

The Swan Queen

I have a new Sunday night obsession. Oh, don’t worry. My heart and pants (hot or otherwise) still belong to “Lost Girl” on Sundays. But, not being Canadian, I often end up watching closer to wee early hours of Monday. (p.s. Dude, that show takes for-freaking-ever to post.) But no, my Sunday night proper obsession is now “Once Upon a Time.” I was having a brief fling with “Pan Am.” But my interest in that show started to swan dive as soon as Dean got more screentime and the women were put on separate storylines instead of together for adventures. I canceled my DVR ticket, so to speak. But a show I’m excited to book my flight for (yes, I m totally overdoing the airplane analogies) and then some is its earlier evening network neighbor “Once Upon a Time.”

A feew episodes in and I’m pretty much hooked. And what I see is a mix of refreshingly reimagined fairytales led by strong female characters. This all makes sense if you know one of my favorite “Buffy” scribes Jane Espenson is a writer-producer on the show. It’s pretty much right up my wheelhouse what with the supernatural fantasy, powerful ladies and sly humor. That one happens to wear tank tops a lot and wield power tools is just an added bonus.

It also is the source of my latest, naughtiest ship. Yes, I totally ship Emma Swan and The Evil Queen (otherwise known as mean mayor Regina Mills). Part of it is the fantastic face-offs we’ve been treated to so far by Jennifer Morrison’s Emma and Lana Parrilla’s Regina. There’s a wicked, wicked chemistry there are the two women play their rivalry with palpable heat. In fact, I think they give each other the best hate eye sex I’ve ever seen.

It also helps that they’re already wearing each other’s clothes, as per last week’s “Enjoy my shirt, because that’s all you’re getting.” The little eyebrow arch from Emma is the thing that launches a 1,000 ships.

And then there’s the time Emma answered her hotel room door for Regina – in nothing but a tank top and underwear.

Oh, God, and the chainsaw! Sweet fancy fairytales, the chainsaw.

The lip quivering! With rage! My God, the hate sex between those two could burn down the world. Also, we have the perfect portmanteau for the pairing already: The Swan Queen. (HT, @mynlugon!)

I actually hope the show makes Regina somewhat more sympathetic, as she was in the first episode, so she’s less cartoony evil and more complexly troubled. Layers make everyone more interesting. Also they’re often flattering, you know, with winter coming up and all. Speaking of clothing, I sure hope they never increase the costume budget so Jennifer has to keep running around in tank tops and leather jackets. Because, woo doggie, do they suit her. This wardrobe is a vast improvement from all the lab coats and button ups on “House.” Man, did I miss her gorgeous, gorgeous face and perfect, perfect eyebrows on my TV every week. Plus now, she’s the cranky badass hero instead.

All this and we haven’t even discussed her mom Mary Margaret/Snow White. The lovely Ginnifer Goodwin and her pixie cut are custom-made for a fairytale. Also, I’m holding out a delusional amount of hope that Ruby/Little Red Riding Hood will turn out to like the ladies. Come on, the Manic Panic in her hair is a dead giveaway.

In summation, I hope to happily ever after for a good long time with this show. And I hope The Swan Queen keeps rage eye shagging each other into the sunset.

My Weekend Crush

Clearly, I’ve had Adele on the brain the last 24 hours. And it seems so cliché to say you love Adele, because everyone loves Adele. Women, men, vertebrates, invertebrates, inanimate objects, imaginary friends. It’s impossible to not be awed by her voice. It’s criminal not to be moved by her emotions. Also that chin dimple? I fucking love that chin dimple. I really think Adele is one of the most beautiful women in music – not just her spectacular face, not just her spunky personality, not just her sublime voice (though sweet merciful Zeus, her voice), but her sane attitude about her art and self. She’s so refreshingly herself, so very outside of the corporate expectations of what a successful singer looks like in this day and age.

As Adele said herself in her Rolling Stone cover story earlier this year:

“My life is full of drama, and I don’t have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like… I don’t like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one. I love seeing Lady Gaga’s boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry’s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes, I make music for ears.”

Adele is gorgeous, and in a way that reminds you talent just needs a stage and a spotlight to shine. There’s nothing wrong with letting it all hang out, so to speak. But we also need to see it’s possible without the tits and ass. Talent is just talents. It doesn’t need any additional adornment to transport you someplace at once outside yourself and intensely personal. Also, there is no better therapy than singing at top volume in the car to Adele. “Someone Like You” in particular has saved me thousands in shrink fees. Happy weekend, all.

Someone like Brittana

So, I woke up early intent on finishing another post this morning. And then I opened the Tweeter Machine and my feed was all my adorable Brittaniacs going, “Have you seen it? HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!” And now, after seeing it, I can safely say there is nothing else in the world I want to write about. Period. Full Stop. Just Brittana. And after watching The Troubletones do this amazing Adele mash-up of “Rumour Has It” and “Someone Like You,” I’m pretty sure it’ll be all you can think about, too.

[Note: Hit 1080p & Full Screen and just let the awesome wash over you.]

[Note 2:Here is a link to a region-free version for my international friends]

Don’t lie. You watched that like three times in a row, didn’t you? I know I did. Now, setting aside the video’s obvious emotional backstory (relax, relax – you know I’m going to get to it), the whole number is just gangbusters. Sorry, New Directions, but there’s a new sheriff in town and she is packing Adele in her holster. There is no musical ammo better. Look, I’m not sure if that metaphor worked, but just go with it.

I know this Tuesday’s “The First Time” was perhaps a letdown for those of us aboard the S.S. Brittana. They had zero moments (or even eye contact). But if this video from next week’s “Glee” is any indication, our adoration will be redeemed, and then some. I’ve been trying to avoid detailed spoilers, because I know some big Santana and Brittany developments are coming. Granted, I like knowing big-picture spoilers. In general plot developments, etc. But I’m loathe to know turn-of-the-screw episode minutia. Still, it seems unavoidable at this point to realize that some major Brittana emotions are brewing. The way Santana looks at Brittany when she sings, “I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you’re married now.” And then turns. And then looks at directly Brittany. Let’s just say Big Lesbian Feelings are happening in her heart, and my heart and everyone’s heart if it’s beating.

And, once again, I cannot be more impressed with Naya Rivera and her nuanced, powerful performance. It’s one thing to be able to deliver biting one liners. It’s another to be able to sing spectacularly. But this girl can also pack an emotional wallop. The Santana story arc in particular through the three seasons of this show is nothing short of spectacular. I don’t know what the future holds for Santana, but I certainly hope with all of my shipper heart that her love gets to last, and not hurt instead.

Call your girlfriend, no, really

Remember last week when I was talking about us tiny humans sometimes doing beautiful things. Well, here’s another example. If you know Robyn, you know it’s kind of impossible to listen to her music without moving your body. The Scandinavian dancehall queen’s latest single is the incalculably catchy “Call Your Girlfriend.” I like it more each time I hear it. I also really enjoy her lack of pronouns past those of the eponymous girlfriend. OK, sure, I feel a little bad for said girlfriend. But, hey, the girl can’t help it. It’s different when we kiss. Anyway, the original version is just good, danceable fun. And if you saw this delightful Swede with the perpetually lesbionic hair perform it on Ellen a couple of weeks ago you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, please enjoy.

Quick question: Is it just me or is Robyn wearing a girdle made entirely out of Calvin Klein underwear waistbands? Just checking.

Now, here is where the tiny human, beautiful thing part really comes into play. So, as us humans are want to do, we like to put our own twist on the original. So while trolling the depths of the series of tubes over the weekend, I happened upon this viral video of fellow Swedish singing group Erato doing a very special cover of “Call Your Girlfriend.” You could call it just an a capella version. But I won’t ruin it for you. Please, press play.

I know, right!? See what we tiny humans can do with beautiful voices, well-timed claps and a few empty cottage cheese tubs? Lovely, simply lovely. Well done, Sweden.

Tank Top Tuesday: Unforgettable Edition

You would not believe how many of you have written me to tell me about “Unforgettable.” Like, so many. Emails. Tweets. Comments. I’m not saying you guys have been persistent, but the other day a paper airplane came through my window with “Have you watched Unforgettable yet?” written inside. So, I watched. And, ladies, I owe you a “You were right.” It’s not that I necessarily that I am blown over by the series itself. The pacing is a little leaden and Poppy Montgomery seems sorta sleepy. Also, the dialogue? A show about a woman who has the ability to remember every minute detail from her past has her actually says, without irony, “This memory thing of mine comes in handy sometimes.” Um, don’t go dusting off a space on your mantel for that Emmy just yet, writers. But, great googly-moogly, were you ever right about the tank tops. And the arm porn.

I’m not exactly sure how a police detective gets away with wearing tank tops every single day to work, but I am grateful for her ridiculous flaunting of the dress code. Or perhaps the tank tops are necessary for her to be able to remember things. Does her condition require she stays cool and has a full range of motion? I’m a few episodes behind so maybe I missed the explanation. But whatever the reason, I must applaud its results. Alright, ladies. You got me. You were so, so right.

So please enjoy this very special mea culpa edition of Tank Top Tuesday. Just making up for lost time. Tank tops + great arms + red hair = fairly unforgettable.

Plus she also wears lots of big silver rings. And you know how I have a thing for big silver rings. DVR: Set.

p.s. Since it has been such a long time since my last Tank Top Tuesday, please enjoy this bonus treat of hot chicks in tank tops wielding power tools. See, patience can be a good thing.

Let's get it on

I’ve been thinking a lot about sex. No, not like that. OK, a little like that. But mostly I’ve been thinking about sex as it relates to my favorite TV lady couples. And right now, sadly, we really only have three sexually active lady loving lady couples on North American primetime television: Callie & Arizona, Bo & Lauren and Brittany & Santana.

Now, there are a few more you could technically count. Thirteen and her zero-lines-of-dialogue girlfriend who disappeared off to Mykonos on “House.” Special Agent Diana Berrigan and her girlfriend Christie who has appeared once in three seasons of “White Collar.” And then there’s Emily Fields, though I’m not entirely sure where her revolving door of girlfriends is right now on “Pretty Little Liars.” Also, I’m pretty sure she hasn’t slept with any of them which makes me sad for her girlfriends because, well, you’ve seen Emily – right?

So, back to our big three. Calzona is the most stable and established, clearly. They’re married. They have a child. They’ve also addressed the whole lesbian and/or married-with-kids bed death problem already. And while their screentime has been all-too-short this season, what we’ve seen seems to be pretty normal, healthy and relatively lusty. We’re going to just call them the happily marrieds and move along to the more confusing couplings.

Now, it’s probably (actually no probably about it, but go with me) unfair to compare the representations of sexuality on “Lost Girl” with that on “Glee.” One is a dark, adult show based on overtly sexual themes. The other is a mainstream, teen show based on high school kids singing and dancing at random. They’re very different, but they both feature same-sex female couples who have seen their relationship develop on a very slow boil through the seasons. And in that respect, they’re very interesting examples of contrast.

On “Lost Girl,” the lust and the desire has been out there for a while, with little actual sex both on-screen or off-screen to show for it. But the two times they did sleep together, they were both explicit and exemplary in their depiction of a relationship in its various stages (i.e. First time – tender, exploratory. Second time – hungry, urgent.)

But, they’ve also done an admirable job of showing both sweetness and tenderness amid the push-you-on-the-bed, pull-you-back-to-me-by-your-thighs hotness. (Ugh – still so fucking hot.) The animal instinct is balanced by the small kiss on the cheek the morning after. The protectiveness. The genuine care. Nicely done, “Lost Girl.” Nicely done.

Sure, we don’t know how this whole frozen Nadia-sicle thing is going to play out and whether it’ll all end in heartbreak and more succuface rebounds with pizza delivery drivers. But for now, for now it’s pretty perfect. And the sex is downright rocking.

Over on “Glee,” the sexuality between Brittany and Santana has been handled very differently. Granted, teen show v. adult show. Coming out story v. will-they-or-won’t-they story. But while all the sex in Bo and Lauren’s relationship has been out in the open, all the sex in Brittany and Santana’s relationship has been off-screen. And, make no mistake, they have sex. They have sex-is-not-dating sex. They have scissoring-doesn’t-mean-I-want-to-have-lady-babies-with-you sex. They have does-taking-a-bath-together-means-we’re-dating sex. They’re getting it on like bunnies in cheerleading costumes – we’ve just never seen it. Any of it. Not even one little sweet lady kiss. And that, that’s pretty bogus.

While I do like that they’re taking their relationship slowly and delving into its ramifications, I don’t like that somehow this one couple in the entire Glee universe hasn’t had a chance to even share a small smooch on screen. Rachel has kissed Finn, Puck and Jesse. Quinn has kissed Finn, Puck and Sam. Heck even Kurt got to kiss Blaine – and Karofsky. And Santana and Brittany have both kissed their male dates in straight (or misguided gay, in the Britt-Kurt case) pairings. But Brittana together – nada. Not even a kiss on the cheek. Brittany has kissed that damn little Elvis-haired leprechaun more than Santana on screen.

And, having seen a screener for this week’s new episode, I can tell you the odds don’t get any better. We have not one, not two, not three, but seven – yes, SEVEN – kisses between Finn and Rachel. Kurt and Blaine, by comparison, get two. For the gayest show on television, that’s still pretty damn straight.

Now, certainly, a major mitigating factor here is that Santana and Brittany’s relationship is not out. Santana is not out at all. So, the lack of PDA is understandable. But, the lack of showing affection in private is not. And therein lies the rub. “Glee” isn’t just set in the classrooms and hallways of McKinley High. We’ve been in the living rooms, the bedrooms, the cars and even the motel rooms of our favorite Glee Club members. And we’ve even been in both Santana and Brittany’s bedrooms. Yet somehow, they never took the opportunity to show a little affection – let alone a kiss.

Now, this would make sense if they were still dancing around the issue of being into each other. But these two gals have been making with the sexytime since they were sophomores at least. And now, as seniors, it’s kind of about time we got to see it. And I’m not just saying this to be the pervy perv who perks up at the thought of girl-on-girl action. (Though, come on, we all know I’m the pervy perv who perks up at the thought of girl-on-girl action.) I’m saying this because seeing it helps make it real.

This whole idea of Brittana is still very theoretical. We’ve been told they have sex, we’ve been told they’re taking baths together. We’ve been told they do all the tender, sexy, hot things real couples do. But aside from that one nuzzle scene in Britt’s bedroom and the occasional shoulder lean or pinky link, these two could very well be besties with a touchy-feely side. OK, there was also that tequila body shot. God bless you, tequila body shot.

Yet still we’re stuck in this infernal cycle of tell, don’t show. We want some show. We want it now.

To be fair, part of this is just “Glee” being “Glee.” I don’t think they’ve been particularly good at conveying love, lust or longing. Will and Emma? Good lord, these are adults who don’t have sex. Finn and Rachel? They certainly have the awkward part of teenage love down pat. And do not get me started on this severely misguided, totally overdone and ridiculously dumb student-teacher thing between Puck and Shelby. Do not. And even they’ve kissed.

When you have a couple with real chemistry like Brittany and Santana and actresses up to the task like Heather Morris and Naya Rivera, you shouldn’t squander the opportunity. Brittana means a lot to a lot of people watching out there at home. People who might be questioning their own sexuality. People who might need reassurance of their sexuality. People who just want to know that love can be possible regardless of sexuality. Sure the sweetness of Brittana has been wonderful. The little looks. The little touches. Holding hands under the napkin. My heart, heavens, my heart. But that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for – even demand – more.

This silly little show about a show choir means something much more than jazz hands and diva battles to so many people. They say a kiss is just a kiss. But when it comes to Brittana, a sweet lady kiss is just everything.

NOTE: Tierra de lobos is a Spanish, not Mexican show. Hence it is European, not North American. Otherwise, trust me, I would have included that caliente.

My Weekend Reflection

It had been, for whatever reason, a long week. I don’t know why, but my birthday week always sits heavy on me. It’s not the actual act of getting older, because we do that every day. Perhaps it’s just the reminder of one’s own mortality. Small speck. Enormous universe. Silly, I know. And in so many ways it has been a perfectly lovely week. Calls. Visits. Cards. Gifts. All of the wonderful birthday wishes from all of you wonderful people. I couldn’t be more touched, kittens. You’re too sweet, as always. Yet still, every year, the week ends with a strange sense of not entirely melancholy, but quiet reflection. There is so much unnecessary misery around us sometimes – violence, injustice, inequality, greed. So sometimes, sometimes I just like to remind myself that we’re not just a bunch of hairless apes with an unusually advanced ability to use tools. We are also kind, loving, generous souls who believe in the magic of each new day. I posted this once before on my Tumblr. And since then I’ve actually played it for myself several times just as a little reminder. This is summer solstice in Poznań, Poland with 11,000 paper lanterns set to Mumford & Sons. Every once in a while, we tiny humans do beautiful things. Happy weekend, all.

We hold these truths

In this seemingly never-ending march toward full equality, one thing is abundantly clear. The more you meet us, the more you realize how crazy it is to hate us. Us, of course, being the LGBTQ people of this world who are no different than everyone else save for this tiny little detail about who we love. So, with that I’m pleased to throw a little love behind the Self Evident Truths Project by the artist iO Tillett Wright. This photo essay is a bit like the NOH8 project, but less glitzy and more grassroots. It is backed by the Human Rights Campaign. The goal is to shoot more than 4,000-5,000 faces of LGBTQ people across the United States, hitting 25 cities in three big road trips. She started in New York, shooting more than 300 people. And now is on the first leg of her road trip, hitting San Francisco and Los Angeles in the next two weekends. And, best yet, if you want to be part of the project you can.

The shoot dates and times are such:

SAN FRANCISCO
FRI 4-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM BROADWAY WATERFRONT
SAT 5-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM PINK TRIANGLE PARK
SUN 6-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM DOLORES
MON7-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM UNION SQUARE

LOS ANGELES
FRI 11-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM ROOSTER FISH, VENICE
SAT 12-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM LOS FELIZ
SUN 13-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM AM (TBA)/PM THEABBEY
MON14-Nov-2011 10AM - 5PM HOLLYWOOD

To take part you must make an appointment via the Self Evident Project’s Facebook page or email selfevident2011@gmail.com with the subject “SF APPOINTMENT” or “LA APPOINTMENT” with a couple of time preferences.

They say there’s not much a single face in the crowd can do. But all those faces together making one big crowd, well, that no one can ignore.

Delovely DeWinslet

Do you know who will never stop being delightful? Kate Winslet. I mean she’s almost so delightful it’s obnoxious. Like, “Ugh, delightful again?” But each time she speaks she has this lovely kind of nonchalant British charm that is just, for lack of a better word, delightful. Last month she was delighting us with her totally nonchalant acceptance of her son’s sexuality – whatever that may turn out to be. And before that she delighted us with her superhero exploits saving Richard Branson’s grandmum from a resort fire. But what really makes someone just over-the-top delightful is when she can be self-deprecating about just how delightful she really is. Like in her retelling her heroic feats during said fire. See for yourself.

I know. Ugh, so fucking delightful.

Lost get it on

Right, so I actually had another perfectly delovely and delightful post planned for today. But you know what? It’s my birthday, so I’m going to obsess about sexy Doccubus time if I want to. And oh, how much sexy times there was to obsess about. Now, pop on over to AfterEllen a little later today and we’ll talk about the whole episode in the Lost Girl SnapCap. But right now, right now I just want to talk about the sex. I know, so shockingly out of character for me to skip right to the naughty bits.

But here is the thing about Bo and Lauren. Their sex scenes have been perfect. Too long in the coming? Yes. The slowest slow boil ever? Yes. Excruciating in their sexual tension? Yes, yes, God yes. But once they finally arrived? Perfect, just perfect. And here is why. While we’ve only had two all too brief sex scenes between our favorite bisexual succubus and her favorite human doctor, they’ve shown progress. Real, natural, organic, sexy as hell progress. Shall I dissect further? Of course I shall.

In their first love scene, it went how first times often go. It was tender, and a tad tentative. First times are exploratory missions, about finding one’s footing and making a good impression. Passion mixed with wonder. Like, whoa, is this really happening? Yes, this is really happening. Like, you know, this.

But then the second time, the second time went how second times often go. It was hot, and all hunger. Second times are singularly minded, about getting off and damning all niceties. Desire mixed with impatience. Like, why the fuck are these clothes here? Get these fucking clothes off immediately if not sooner. Like, you know, this.

But do you know what else makes Bo and Lauren’s second time so perfect? It wasn’t just the delicious, delicious tearing off of each other’s clothes to get to the juicy center. And the thing where Bo pulls Lauren back to her by her thighs. Her thighs. It was that kiss Bo gives a sleeping Lauren on the cheek. That gentle little moment tells us it’s not just sex. Not just a booty call. Not just a medicinal romp. It’s something more. Something special. Something like love. Now don’t fuck this up, Nadia. Or I swear I will have your cryogenically frozen ass turned into a popsicle.

p.s. Anyone else happily surprised by how much of a top our reserved Dr. Hotpants is? Also, how nicely her topping behavior shows off them guns? Go get ’er, cowgirl.