Ready to Be Strong

Dammit, Joss Whedon. Dammit. Look, I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer and own all of the seasons and might have an action figure or two (plus Kitty Fantastico) in my possession. But I simply cannot support Joss and his abusive behavior. Not anymore. Not after so many have so credibly come forward to call out his harassment and all-around toxicity. Charisma Carpenter came forward yesterday with her story, and I believe her.

And I believe Amber Benson. And I believe Michelle Trachtenberg. And I believe Clare Kramer. And I believe Sarah Michelle Gellar, because *low whistle* you can feel it when Buffy says no longer wants her name associated with Joss. And, yeah, I believe Ray Fisher.

In a way, it’s good when we get challenged by problematic favs, or in this case former favs. As we grow up and older, our priorities change. And hopefully – if we’ve been any good at living at all – we’ve become better people along the way. May the years and the wisdom they can impart make us all more compassionate, more understanding, more generous. So it would only follow that our heroes, the people we idolize, also change. If we’re lucky, we’ve chosen worthy ones. But, alas, all too often through the lenses of time and truth, they disappoint terribly.

That Joss, long hailed as a singular genius, turned out to be just another asshole guy who is horrible to those around him is one of those hard lessons, but hopefully one that finally sticks. We probably should stop being surprised when dudes who heavily tout themselves as feminist champions turn out to be nothing more than garden-variety misogynists. If he calls himself a woke bae, ladies, he likely ain’t woke or a bae. You gotta wish for a special place in the Hellmouth for men like Joss who write female empowerment stories but treat the real women (and POC) like garbage.

It’s always hard to divorce the art from the artist. But, at least with television, it’s never just one person. Joss isn’t Buffy alone. That would negate all the talent and passion and hard work from the cast, not to mention the show’s stable of mostly wonderful writers and other producers, and the countless other people who make the magic happen in this business we call show.

So I can keep loving Buffy, at least the idea of Buffy, and stop supporting Joss. Though I guess he had one thing right. Yeah, women are ready to be strong. So you’d better look out, shitty men everywhere.

p.s. Joss will always be the man who killed Tara. The Kitten Board never forgets.