Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The look

What does a lesbian look like, exactly? It’s a good question without a good answer. Because anyone who tells you he or she knows exactly what a lesbian looks like is wrong. Sure, we can generalize. I, myself, have a propensity for plaid shirts and Doc Martens. But that doesn’t mean al ladies who love ladies wear plaid and Docs or have alternative lifestyle haircuts or prefer cargo shorts and love blazers or own a closet full of clothing covered in cat hair.

So then, it’s particularly galling when people in positions of power who certainly should know better say incredibly stupid things about what lesbians look like. Like Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll who is currently embroiled in a lesbian sex scandal of her own. A fired former employee claims she caught the Republican Lt. Gov. and her travel aide in vag-rante* delicto (*because she was under her skirt at her, oh you know) in her office. The Lt. Gov has denied this claim, in possibly the stupidest way possible to deny this claim. Of, just watch for yourself.

In case you missed it: “Usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Oh, really? What do black women who do engage in relationships like that look like? Wanda Sykes? Tracy Chapman? Jasika Nicole? Meshell Ndegeocello? Alice Walker? Sheryl Swoopes? Please, I am dying to know. Sigh. The Huffington Post has made a nice response slideshow to this general idiotry thank to the Twitter hashtag #ThisIsWhatALesbianLooksLike. It’s well worth a look (and I even recognize some of your lovely face in there – hey girl!) Guess it’s time for a reminder. Lesbians look like a lot of things Women who love women come in all colors and shapes and sizes and clothing choices. Believe me, it would be a lot easier to find a date if we all looked the same and could identify each other more readily in a crowd. But as is we need to rely on shaky gaydar and that fool-proof strategy of steadfastly refusing to make eye contact while passively hoping that cute girl at the bar will come over and say hi. Because I sure can’t find the common visual trait between all these lesbian and bisexual women. Except they’re all beautiful women and think other women are beautiful.

Wanda Sykes
Ellen DeGeneres
Brandi Carlile
Tracy Chapman
Megan Rapinoe
Leisha Hailey
Jasika Nicole
Jane Lynch
Kirsten Vangsness
Sheryl Swoopes
Amber Heard
Rachel Maddow
Josephine Baker


Anonymous said...

on the positive side of that crazy comment from the lt. gov. are all the beautiful tweets of #this is what a lesbian looks like.... i might even have to take up twitter after this! thanks for the post, DS, and for all your wonderful posts. as always, you manage to lift up the level of conversation to the numinous

Debi said...

Thank you for the lovely pictures as always, Ms. Snarks.

But I listened, and I heard 'relationships like that' to mean 'extra-marital affairs,' not 'lesbian relationships.'

Anonymous said...

Do you mean "flagrante delicto"? Not sure what "vagrante" delicto is, unless it means caught having sex with a vagrant... ;)

Anonymous said...

If we all looked alike the airport game of "lesbian vs Midwest mom" would not be any fun.

Anonymous said...

Well said!

I wrote a blog post, back in March, because I was so sick of people assuming they knew the sexuality of others solely based on what they look like.

Anonymous said...

en flagrante: meaning caught with your pants down figuratively.I've been caught that way at work too, twice. luckily it did not air on national news. The bitch is gay and looks it too. I want to see what the other chick looked like since I bet she isn't gay and is just trying to further her career.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that lesbians look like people... except sometimes when they're cosplaying :)

Farmers Wifey said...

I was lucky enough to meet Brandi Carlile when she toured Australia...she is my favourite artist..just amazing. xo

Vera said...

Lesbians. They are so hard to figure. I have a hard time. For your info, the girls I meet in plaid flannel shirts and doc martens are all straight. They are are either attached or lookin or currently obsessed with some guy. The rougher and tougher a girl look the straighter she is. That's what I've found here in my climate. The real lesbians are those in men's jeans, sporting a boy crop hair cut and acting all butch. The others are just normal girls in normal clothes. How I find it hard to find the like here. It's almost impossible. Especially at this age, this boy or girl obsessed age. It's quite infuriating. Sometimes you really don't know if they are what they claim they are. Almost. Impossible. If there is a way. Teach me.

Anonymous said...

It was a funny pun! There's a dash, vag-rante. Not 'vayg' as in vagrant, but 'vahj' as in vagina. :) Have a super brilliant sparkly day!