Monday, October 25, 2010

SGALGG: The Revenge

You know what I like? I like it when women who break up with guys who then immediately start dating women 20 years younger their junior find a way to still show up their exes in spectacular fashion. So when Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen got divorced earlier this year, and then he started to date his 23-year-old “Saturday Night Live” co-star Abby Elliott (he is 43, by the way), I thought, “Bring it, Elisabeth.” Granted, Elisabeth is only 5 years older than Abby, but her ex still managed to trade younger. Well, consider it brought. Besides her continued “Mad Men” success, Elisabeth is set to make her London stage debut next year. Opposite Keira Knightley. Who she falls in love with. In a revival of “The Children’s Hour.” Hmm, getting lesbionic with Keira night after night in front of a live audience? That’ll do it.

So, I could quibble about the play itself. Really, must we revive the lesbian love ends in tragedy and despair thing again? But the casting is amazing and the story while sad is well told. So bully for them. Of course, this role will require research. So let me offer these helpful, Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals-y acting tips to Elisabeth to prepare for her West End debut.

Hang out with fake gay ladies.Though you might want to take Joyce up on her offer next time, for practice.

Hang out with real gay ladies.Tell her you like vampires, gay ladies love vampires.

Dress like a gay lady.You know the cop contingent is your favorite float at the Pride Parade.

SGALGG at every opportunity.Erika Christensen looks more than happy to help.

Hey, but no SGALGGing with Tina.Sorry, she’s mine.

Become part of a lesbian ship.Do they have a portmanteau yet?

Become the ham in a very pretty sandwich.That’s the kind of bread you really want to butter.

Add a different kinds of Hamm.I mean, come on, even lesbians like a little Jon Hamm.

Look ridiculously hot.So random women everywhere are forced to go, “DAMN, GIRL.”

When all else fails…
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…just keep getting licked.

Never mind the Stanislavski Method, this is the SGALGG Method.


M.C. said...

Right, consider my next trip to London booked! Even though "The Children's Hour" absolutely breaks my heart, I can't wait to see it on stage.

And yes, funnily enough I do love Jon Hamm ... probably because I want to be the guy, haha.

Great post!

Kathryn said...

Sooooo good.

azmama said...

Day in, day out, you never fail to amuse, astound and just downright please, Ms. Snarker. You have a special kind of genius.

Norma Desmond said...

I approve of this message. Have to admit, I'm not as in love with Mad Men as everyone else seems to be, but I do appreciate the very, very pretty pictures it gives me (the sets and stuff are nice, too). Also, the Children's Hour... tragic? Yes. Now a trite storyline about lesbian tragedy? Yes. However, still a classic. I mean, Lillian Hellman, come on!

Norma Desmond said...

Also, do Peggy and Joan really have a ship? Because, if so, I'll board that. Er...

Sandra said...

awww she was great in Mad Men and I hope we get more and more of her next season