Face Time

I’ve come to the startling realization that I have a disease. I’m not sure if it’s curable, I’m not sure if it’s contagious. I’m pretty sure it isn’t recognized by the American Medical Association (though, man, it should be). My affliction, my sickness, my curse? I’ve got Chronic Screencappers Disease. I can’t watch a movie or TV show on my laptop without screencapping it. If you need to see further evidence of its symptoms, just check out my “Rizzoli & Isles” screencap folders.

This, of course, makes a relaxing night of watching a movie more difficult. I’ve found I’m not overcome with the affliction while watching TV or DVDs on my regular TV. But the urge to open up Photoshop is too strong when I’m watching something on my computer. Like last night, when I finally saw “Chloe.” Now, I can’t really recommend the movie for its plot. Its last half hour devolves into a ridiculous mish-mash of “Single White Instinct” proportions.

Though I can recommend the movie for its shear eye candy. Because, let’s be honest, “Chloe” is just 96 minutes of unapologetic wallowing in the face porn of Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried. Granted, you can’t really blame director Atom Egoyan for luxuriating his lens on these lovely ladies. They’ve got the kind of bone structure that were born to be projected two-stories high on the big screen. As such, a good half of the movie is tight shots of their faces. There are also a few choice close-up of other areas. But, you know, it’s a workday.

The plot, such that it is, involves Julianne hiring high-class call girl Amanda to seduce her husband (Liam Neeson) whom she suspects is cheating. And then it kind of turns that hooker with a heart of gold trope from “Pretty Woman” inside out. (Spoiler Alert: Also, dude, they totally do it.)

So this is when my illness works to your benefit. Because of the aforementioned Chronic Screencapper Disease and because of the aforementioned face porn, I will now share the bounty of my sickness with you. Please enjoy.

OK, fine, I’ll post one NSFW one. But remember, NSFW, so scroll down at your own peril. And by peril I mean yum.

The funniest, truest review I read of this film came from The Daily Beast which contains this perfect line: “Julianne Moore can act with her bosom.” She really can, kittens. She really can.

EDIT: Since you asked so nicely, here goes. If you don’t have a DVD program that takes screenshots automatically, you can follow these four simple steps to Basic Screencapping 101 on a PC. 1) Pause DVD/video on the scene you want to cap. 2) Press the “Print Screen” (PRTSC) button. 3) Open Photoshop (or MS Paint in a pinch). 4) Click “New,” then “Image from clipboard” (just click “Paste” in MS Paint). And, voila. You can crop and run it through various filters, but that right there is a screencap, friends. So now I’ve infected you all with the disease. Bwahahaha!