Monday, January 18, 2010

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Award season means one thing. No, not a run on seaweed wraps and protein shakes in the greater Los Angeles area. It means its SGALGG time. And thanks to its free-flowing alcohol, the Golden Globes are usually an excellent breeding ground for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals behavior. Consider it SGALGGGG. Let Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz and Dianna Agron will show everyone how it’s done.

Jeanne Tripplehorn & Drew BarrymoreI think Drew is confused about how to give a proper hickey.

Mo’Nique & Nicole KidmanIn my head, Mo’Nique has made a filthy proposition to Nicole and Nicole is, well, seriously considering it.

Anna Paquin & Deborah Ann WollNow if Sookie and Jessica were an item instead of boring old Bill, maybe I’d watch “True Blood.”

Suzy Amis & Sigourney WeaverYou do not know how much I wish Sigourney would put her arm around me like that.

Amy Poehler & Tina FeyTheir shows didn’t win anything. So I’ll let Amy comfort my wife in special, private ways for the night.

Leslie Bibb & Molly SimmsEither a SGALGG moment or the beginning of Hands Across America.

Lisa Edelstein & Olivia WildeLisa is totally giving Olivia a fuck me face. Can you blame her?

Olivia Wilde & unknown guestI commend this lady’s desperate attempts to get SGALGGy with Olivia. Can you blame her?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisBrittana lives!

BONUS: Critics’ Choice Movie Awards SGALGG

Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock
Kissing it out is the new hugging it out. Pass it on.

p.s. Anyone know who that lady was who was part of a very GGALGG moment with Jane Lynch at the Golden Globes? Inquiring lesbians want to know.

UPDATE: Mystery solved! Though no small amount of stalking sleuthing, I (with help from an army of nosy lesbians) was able to discover that Jane Lynch did indeed bring her girlfriend, Lara Embry, to the Golden Globes, kissed her girlfriend when Glee won and plans to wed her girlfriend in May. Mazel tov, ladies. [Hat tip, Andrea, Jst_a_Grrl, Rachel and — of course — The Linster!]


;) babs said...

I knew this would come...!

thank you, ms. snarker!
;) babs

Anonymous said...

Re: Sigourney Weaver... get in line.

Anonymous said...

Re: Sigourney. How much? Not as much as me!

Norma Desmond said...

Between Lisa and Olivia, I still pick Lisa.

Also, the thought of Streep and Bullock together kind of makes my life...

Anonymous said...

I flipped the channel on to the Globes, I never watch this stuff, but; as fate would have it just as the tv made it to the channel who walks out but Jodie Foster.

Looking hotter then a firecracker, whoa- deep breaths. I stayed on the channel hoping Jodie would come back but; was rewarded with Olivia, deep breath, deep breath.

I questioned why ?? don't I watch this stuff?? Oh yeah its BORING!!

Robin said...

I don't generally watch award shows, so thank you for the recap. :)

My thoughts...
* Jenna Ushkowitz looks absolutely adorable, and I want to squeeze her. Tina's one of my favorite Gleeks. :)
* Deborah Ann Woll's dress is gorgeous and I. Want. One.
* Dear sweet jeebus, why are giant shoulder bows making a comeback?! Didn't we learn anything from the 80s?

Deb Rox said...

Excellent reporting! And brilliant anatomy of the kiss. I always thought Sandra was the top in her relationship with Jesse James, and her Meryl kiss ties that know for me.

Anonymous said...

Not a good picture of Suzy Amis. She looks like a 70 years old woman.

Making Space said...

LOL There just cannot be enough Sandra Bullock. LOL

Endless Waterfall said...

Is it me or do too many if these women look faaaar too thing? Lisa, Olivia, name any of them; skin and bones. At least Tina is looking a picture of health.

Anonymous said...

Great article, Ms. Dorothy! (channeling "Thoroughly Modern Millie" there for a moment)

Although I'm convinced I'd make Jane Lynch the best possible wife ever, and I mean, vintage Doris Day happy, I wish her and girlfriend joy. Now, excuse me, while me and apron go sob in a corner ... ;-)

RizzRustbolt said...

Judging by the tattoo on Jenna's beck, I don't think she qualifies for SGALGG day.

Unless she's the meat in a SGALGG sandwich.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, several of these women who I suppose are pretty, honestly look too skinny for me to even focus on that. Like they really look sick more than beautiful and it makes me sad

Morcegos no Sótão said...

Leslie Bibb... <3 I'm seriously in love (as in, platonic love :P) with that woman and for the love of God, I was really hopeful she would be gay-ish... Never seen with guys around, great chemistry with Carly Pope back in the Popular days and they're still friends... Nah, she used to be married. Let's pray for bissexual now. lol

She looks really cute in that photo with Molly Simms, though. And the look she gives her is very sweet.


Anonymous said...

Ha ha Golden Globes are always funny, and the kiss between Sandra and Streep was weird, but is normal in Sandra. In fact I had heard that Streeps husband sometimes likes to visit Viagra Online.
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