English reserve

Well, now. Um, I’m not sure if I entirely agree that Kate Beckinsale is “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” I mean, she is sexy – of course. But I will say that Kate Beckinsale is the sexiest woman alive to have gone from BBC darling to Michael Bay heroine to vampire warrior to underwear cavorter. Also, why does she look confusingly like Mary-Louise Parker on the cover of “Esquire?”

The magazine’s annual The Sexiest Woman Alive issue is out this month. And following in the scantily-clad footsteps of Halle Berry (2008), Charlize Theron (2007), Scarlett Johansson (2006) and Jessica Biel (2005) is Kate. The magazine teased her appearance atop the sexy heap with these clues:

She is emetophobic.
She is multilingual.
She has been in the same room with Michael Bay at least once.
She hates wearing underwear.
She shares a birthday with three notable actors, two of whom have starred in a film together.
She is not Channing Tatum.

To save you the Googling, “emetophobic” means a fear of vomiting. Almost as random, the Channing Tatum thing. Also, for a gal who apparently hates wearing underwear, Kate sure doesn’t seem to have a problem lounging around in them.

It’s still hard for me to believe that the plucky little 22-year-old English lass who charmed me in “Cold Comfort Farm,” like this:

Turned into the 36-year-old Hollywood siren who struts around on six-inch heels and not that much else for the pages of “Esquire,” like this:

Looking sexier in your 30s than your 20s? You’re doing it right.