Monday, November 24, 2008

Bloody L

TLW_promo1
As information about the final season of “The L Word” and its online spinoff leak out, I have just one question. Why? Seriously, why? Why murder? Why prison? Why so cheesy? Why, why, why?

Now, at first I was hoping this whole killer thing was just a tease. As in, “Ha, ha. You thought someone would actually die? Nah, it's just killer material. Get it? Oh, stop cringing, we wanted to make sure you'd watch.” But no. We should be so lucky. Mama Chaiken is, indeed, deadly serious. Or, perhaps just dead crazy.

Yep, that's right. Someone gets killed. Someone gets blamed. And it all apparently happens in the first two minutes. I guess they're adhering to the quick-like-a-bandage approach for bad news. But, seriously, murder? I mean, I know TLW is a soap opera, but did they really have to resort to murder? What's next? Comas? Evil twins? Switched at birth?

It all makes my head hurt. While admittedly I enjoy watching crime procedurals, I never ever thought that the only my favorite lesbian drama would turn into one. A murder mystery is decidedly not how I wanted the final season of TLW to go down.

And, speaking of going down, can we please talk about that poster's tagline. Going down in history? Really? Really, Showtime? Of all the taglines you could have picked for a lesbian show and you pick “Going down in history?” So, it's because it's the last season before it's “history”? Or, wait, it's because lesbians “go down” on each other? God, you're so clever. Give your entire PR department a raise. They deserve it. Who else could think of something so genius? While we're on the topic of genius, my good friend StuntDouble wants to audition for your promotions department. Clearly, you should hire her immediately.

TLW_promo3

Heck, we haven't even touched the great disembodied head snogfest in the poster. So many questions, so few answers.

Yeah, I don't know either.

As if murder and bad puns for lesbian sex weren't enough, now comes potential details on the spin-off featuring Leisha Hailey, via The L Word Online. It will be “Possibly set in a prison. Possibly set in London.” Whaaaa? How did Alice get herself thrown into British jail? Wait, Helena is British. Does she kill Helena? In England? It's like Lesbian Clue. It was Alice in Trafalgar Square with the strap-on. As for it being in prison, I guess we all knew Mama Chaiken has a thing for jail house rocking of worlds thanks to the two behind-bars sex scenes we've been treated to over the years. But to take the whole spin-off to prison, well, that's just getting brazen with your fetish.

Speaking of Leisha, hat tip to tunedout47 for noticing a striking and unexpected resemblance. “Electric Youth” anyone?

Though, now that OurChart.com is calling it quits (yes, I know they say they haven't, but it's hard to survive without a staff and new content), where will this killer TLW spin-off launch, anyway? The whole thing is just...blerg. I tune in for hot women shagging stimulating lesbian discourse, not “CSI: Labia.”

26 comments:

;)) babs said...

I so love your leisha/debbie gibson comparison...!

;)) babs


ps. I think its time to stop watching tv.

invisigoth said...

I'd go with "dead crazy".

As I said years ago about IC: "Little abilities, big ego." Oh my!

Elena said...

(intents and purposes)... sorry.
In the meantime, ourchart.com have issued a statement that they aren't?

As for Shenny: oh well, I guess they had run out of inspiration. Surprise!

Carrie said...

ms. snarker, i think this is your funniest post ever!

Pyewacket said...

Well, doesn't it make sense if Debbie Gibson...er, um....I meam Alice...is caught in the middle of London...wearing a strap-on...and subsequently arrested...and thrown into Mama Chaiken's sex fantasy...that OurChart would eventually cum to a halt...?

Natazzz said...

Before I read this post I was wondering whether we as lesbians are too critical of the lesbian content on TV or if it really is that bad.

I guess you've just answered my question.

Anonymous said...

Bring in some hot dykes. Have more scenes with many naked women in the prison shower, then we wouldn't mind. :D Otherwise. IC is crazy!

Anonymous said...

"It was Alice in Trafalgar Square with the strap-on." HA! Now that I would watch.

nycrouge said...

The L Word has sunk to new lows of ridiculousness.

vikki said...

It seems that none of the characters will escape from the final season with any dignity.

As for Leisha, I think she is a truly talented woman and I wish that she and Angela Robinson would hook up for a project instead of this IC spin-off madness.

oriana said...

Word!

And whats Ilene thinking???! She cant ended The L Word that way!! The show deserves so much better.
Like Carmen coming back, for example... just a glimpse would be ok, Im not picky.

Anonymous said...

Oh my.......
I can't stop thinking about Queer as Folk and how the show had this really nice ending, fulfilling the viewers' expectations in a positive way. And.... The L Word......hmm...why this show got so weird? Seriously! Season 1 was fantastic and pretty much everything after that was just so ...."artificial"? Odd story lines, characters, twists etc. It is just sad! And this whole prison thing in London? A new version of Bad Girls or what?

(SIGH)

HB said...

Great idea from vikki!

"I wish that she [leisha] and Angela Robinson would hook up for a project"

Anonymous said...

Good God!

Can we get a hand count for how many of us think Kit's gun (who, btw, should have been presumed too street savvy to give it the dumpster heave-ho) might be somehow involved in said homicide?

This is beyond ridiculous. Chaiken knows lesbians have nowhere else to go and can, therefore, palm off the most ludicrous, tired and trite excuses for story-lines. Plots that would KILL any other show. How I 'applaud' her for showing the straight world that lesbians can be just as, if not more, dysfunctional than they are and, for that matter, some lesbian writers can't write their way out of wet paper bags without instructions, either. Equality is nice.

And thanks especially, Chaiken, for the hot visuals with next to no substance. Hmmmm, the objectification of attractive women...how very revolutionary of you.

cappuccinogirl said...

Jenny's going to rip off her wig and blow up Bette's house in the finale.

Anonymous said...

Pardon my blunt language, but "The L Word" has always sucked. The only redeeming virtues for me have been seeing some good actresses doing their best with bad material and the community that has sprung up around the show.

Ann

slacker said...

The only thing that has improved over the run of the L Word is the health of mama chaiken's ego.

I expect less and less each season. Lowered expectations improve the show.

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail on the head Ilene Chaiken otherwise know as Ilene Cheesy Chaiken does not understand the meaning of " we watch this show for hot lesbian sex, period." Your post was wonderful.

Nanc Twop said...

I so agree about the poster and the S6 'news'... sheesh.

Couldn't take the 'Shenny' bit, so I re-posed parts of the poster.

* Not sure Helena/Shane is an improvement, but we did have that kiss-outside-Planet Shelena anvil...

Natalie said...

Chaiken is crazy. A murder, seriously?! I was looking forward to the last season, and now I'm just dreading how cheesy and horrible it's going to be...

dalila said...

i don't think i'm going to like this season of l word. i don't anybody killed, this sucks!

SPAZ TALK RADIO said...

Horrible, I've always been able to deal with the bad content because of the hot actresses but Geez. . .When did the L in L word start standing for Lost . . .Murder on the Lez drama that was suppose to open doors for respect and acknowledgement of same sex love. Ok so it's not the show to go to to avoid stereotypes but Season 1 it was the show to go to for entertainment. . .hmm what happened!

And for heaven's sake so SHENNY! Bring Carmen back! Why the hell does it seem like they are trying to kill Tasha off?! Horrible i say, horrible!

Cancel ShowTime anyone?

Anonymous said...

?
i'm busy... homework..etc

Riot! said...

Hahahah "Alice in T. Square with a strap-on"; I wouldn't put it past her by the way.

Meh, I'm shallow when it comes to girl on girl action on tv so I'd basically eat up (no pun intended) anything those ladies have to offer.

Penny Cillin said...

Killers? Prison? Shenny? WTF? I seriously hope that the final season does not turn out to be as ridiculous as (at this point) I think that it will.

Blerg, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Ugly Betty came and killed Jenny cause she was so bad to Daniel.