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Do Padma and I have your attention? Good, because it's time for “Top Chef,” biatches. Today the cheftestants pack their knives and head to the Big Apple for the premiere of season five. That's right, it's Padma & the City. This season has 17 (yes, 17!) chefs battling for the title. But don't worry about remembering everyone's name, previews make it seem like the chopping block comes quickly. Apparently someone gets pykag-ed in the Quickfire Challenge.

But who do we care about the most? You guessed it, our only chefbian, Jamie Lauren.

Please say hello to the San Francisco executive chef with the kickass tattoos and badass attitude. Well, I'm not sure about that last bit. But from this preview, she does like being in charge.

And just in case the tattoos and the hands shoved decidedly in pockets weren't enough to trip your gaydar, please behold some of the shots from her Top Chef Photo Diary.

What more can we expect from this season's cheftestants, lesbian and otherwise? Um, if these pictures from the premiere are any indication, lots of tank tops. God, how much do I love this show?

JillMelissaLeahLaurenCarlaArianeRadhika

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Fine, so that last gal isn't wearing a tank top, but she was the last of the ladies so it felt unfair not to include her.

So, ladies, the only question now is are you ready for some mmm, Padma, mmm? Oh, and wear a bib – you're drooling.