Now, look, Alexis Bledel. I’m not trying to be inappropriate here. While I’m not old enough to be your Lorelai Gilmore-aged television mother, I know you primarily in the context of being an adorably precocious high school student. So this isn’t some sort of skeezy come on from an older lady. Granted, you’re actually 27 and it wouldn’t be out of the realm of acceptable possibilities – but still. What I want to say instead is that I know you’ve got a new movie opening today. Congrats on that, of course. But as much as I want to support your post-Rory days, I’m probably going to skip “Post Grad.” Not even the great Jane Lynch (and Carol freaking Burnett!) can get me there.
That’s not just because it looks blandly generic. I’m sure it’s perfectly serviceable and something I will eventually end up watching on cable while channel surfing some lazy Sunday afternoon. It’s because I know you can do better. You have that quality. It’s fresh, it’s – dare I say – dewy. You have an accessible sophistication. It’s innocence mixed with capability. And, well, you have those big, impossibly blue eyes. I guess what I’m trying to say is – not to get all maternal here – I’d like you to do well. Despite picking Yale over Harvard, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. So make me proud, Alexis. Happy weekend, all.