Mothers Mothering

I half watched the Actors last weekend. And it had some nice moments. The lovely posthumous acceptance/tribute to Catherine O’Hara. Harrison Ford’s humble, empathetic Lifetime acceptance speech. I’d like to note that it’s a small point of pride that I picked one of the better straight white men as my movie idols from the very start. That’s my Han Solo/Indiana Jones.

Still, because, I have to make it gay somehow, I thought I’d instead comment on these pictures of Connor Storrie being anointed by these Sapphics-Approved Mothers. The “Heated Rivalry” star is fresh off hosting SNL and then this happens? Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Paulson give you their blessing on the same night?

Also, doesn’t the picture with Sarah look like she is an immortal vampire queen and he is her hand-selected son who she sends out into the night to seduce men and women alike, but only to bring the tastiest women back to her for…reasons. You know, just as a suggestion. Meanwhile Kathryn looks like she’s his proud drama teacher. Look, everyone has different fantasy sequences in their heads.

My Weekend Crush

Look, I don’t know if I’m going to watch “Thunderbolts” because I have major Marvel fatigue. To be honest, I have generalized franchise fatigue, which isn’t great in an entertainment world where milking IP for every last possible penny is the name of the game. So while I will likely at some point eventually see “Thunderbolts” (aka The Suicide Squad but for Marvel not DC), the only real selling point for me is Florence Pugh. Well, Florence Pugh and Julia Louis Dreyfus (in essentially the Viola Davis role from The Suicide Squad). But back to Flo, who I think – besides probably Kathryn Hahn and Cate Blanchett – is the most wished for lesbian who is not a lesbian in cinema. I don’t know why it feels like such a cosmic injustice that Florence isn’t queer. Something about the no bullshit way she comports herself, and her confidence, always makes me feel like she should be family. That and the variations on alternative lifestyle haircuts (what, we’re all deeply shallow). And, uh, that septum piercing. Anyway, as I was saying, if anything makes me watch “Thunderbolts” it will be Flo kicking ass. And while the actress seemingly remains straight in real life, perhaps we have some hope for Yelena Belova? If Harley Quinn can do it, why not Yelena? Just saying. Happy weekend, all.

SGALGG/GGALGG: Gay Golden Gals Edition

As SGALGG has evolved over the years, I think a not-insignificant small sign of progress has been how many out gay gals have snuck in as well. They originally started because, well, there weren’t enough queer celebrities to fill a post so straight acting like gay gals had to do. But these days so many celesbians and queerebrities (I dunno, I’m trying out a new word, just go with it) you could practically post just about them. In fact, I think I will. So here are all the gay gals acting like gay gals (sometimes with other gay gals, sometimes with the obligatory straight gals – not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re here, we’re queer, and our Globes are totally golden.

Jodie Foster

Jodie’s evolution into our reigning Lesbian Elder Stateswoman (LES, for short because of course) has been a true joy to watch. She’s married, she’s winning awards, she’s looking great and she’s doing it all on her own terms. And those terms are stone-cold gay. May we all become the biggest LES possible! Also Jodie showing up with her son instead of wife at the Globes is s true mombian flex. I not-so-secretly hope that Alexandra said take the kid, I’m going to watch it in my PJs like before. Though, I also not-so-secretly hope that Jodie sitting on Kate Winslet’s lap has made Alex reconsider attending next year. That, or the sight of her throupling with Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons. Or, possibly, the death-grip Nicole has on her wrists here. Just saying.

Angelina Jolie

They say three makes a trend but we’re talking about queer women here so two will do (what, we move all relationships faster – it’s kind of our thing). The Globes were apparently also Bring Your Child to World day for the queer female nominees. Following in Jodie’s footsteps, Angie showed up with daughter Zahara. She also got hugged by Kate Winslet (Jodie and Angie? Shoot your shots, Kate) and stood very close to Salma Hayek. We’ll take all the beauty proximity we can get.

Ayo Edebiri

Like I don’t know if Ayo has ever openly dated a woman before (at least not in public since she got famous, that I can tell…), but she sure is shooting her shot at becoming the next queer female heartthrob in this suit. First of all, LOVE the golden feather tie. Second of all, love the swagger. Third of all, love all the flirting with Zendaya, Ali Wong, Andrew Scott and, of course, Michelle Yeoh. Oh, and then showing up at the afterparty with a ballcap on? Shots shot.

Cynthia Erivo

I spotted Lena Waithe in the background, so relax everyone. Cynthia continues to live her best gay life. Like who wouldn’t be thrilled to meet Kathy Bates/Evelyn Couch, or sneak a snuggle with Zoe Kravitz or cling to Kate Winslet’s shoulder like she’s a piece of door floating in the icy North Atlantic Ocean?

Sarah Paulson

Dearest, we already did the Cate/Carol thing. But after seeing this photo doesn’t it feel canonically impossible that Sarah isn’t in the second “Wicked” movie somehow? Like, that much queer energy needs to include some Paulson. Make it happen, gay GCI wizards. You have until November.

Emma D'Arcy

I applaud Emma for continuing to show up on red carpets looking like a haunted orchestra conductor. I also applaud them for checking out Michelle Yeoh on the red carpet, as one should to be respectful/horny.

Hannah Einbinder

Speaking of showing respect, I respect the way Hannah makes her and Jean Smart look like the one May-December couple you can’t stop shipping despite all the problematic everythings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into Ava and Deborah. But I am totally into Hannah and Jean. What, I already admitted it was problematic, but the heart wants what it wants.

Auliʻi Cravalho

Since we’re talking queer female heartthrobs, hello. Gen Z, why are you sleeping on Auliʻi Cravalho? Like, I am in a totally different age bracket. But if I was a quarter century younger? Yeah, I’d want to be that rose. Youths, act appropriately.

Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” star and newly minted Golden Globe winner scores major queer points for getting her award from THE Kathy Bates (every queer gal is doing it, see above). I hope she whispered “Towanda!” when accepting the trophy from her.

Kali Reis

I couldn’t find any pictures of Kali and her fine-ass suit hanging with any other celebrities at the Globes. But I did see her connecting with Kathryn Hahn the night before at a Globes pre-party in a different fine-ass suit. So, you know, Gay Card stamped, approved and notarized.

So, any favorite queer moments of the night for you?

Wherefore Art Thou, Agathario

Agathario is canon, y’all! You can’t watch what happened in last week’s episode of “Agatha All Along” and not acknowledge that Kathryn Hahn’s Agatha and Aubrey Plaza’s Rio had a past romantic relationship. All those little looks. All those long looks. That almost freaking kiss. This truly is the gayest Marvel project ever. I mean, just look at these sapphics being sapphic.

I mean even the New York Freaking Times even called Aubrey’s Rio the “romantic antagonist” to Kathryn’s Agatha. If the Paper of Record says it, it’s beyond canon. (Yes, I know, their coverage of many other issues can have many issues, but still...) Anyway, I don’t know what else is in store for Agatha and Rio and all the witches. But I am truly enjoying this show and its ridiculously talented cast. Plus, dissertations could be written about how much chemistry Aubrey Plaza generates between her female costars. Like, she can sizzle with Kristen Stewart and Kathry Hahn – now that’s range.

Agatha (Was Gay) All Along

Well, well, well. Look what show is just begging me to bring back Lesbian Subtext Recaps. Yes, I know, in this year of Our Lesbian Jesus 2024 these should be Maintext Recaps. But, you know, this is Disney, after all. Though all the obviously gay chemistry between Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza in “Agatha All Along” is clearly not just in our heads. These women, well, they know what they’re doing. I just hope as the series goes on, it becomes less nudge-wink and more out there. Because, I mean, how much gay can it get than this already? Let me count the ways.

Agnes of Westview/Witch of Easttown carries coffee like this (and that’s not even counting the flannel.)

Aubrey Plaza’s Rio Vidal is introduced like this. Like she’s lesbian David Caruso or something.

Then she proceeds to tell Agatha this.

And then comes over to her place after work and tells her THIS.

Like the ex vibes are off the charts.

As I was saying.

I rest my case.

So, thoughts?

It’s Agatha Season

Honestly, I was kind of over all the Marvel shenanigans. I’ll watch your Avengers. And some of your spinoff Avengers shows. And some of your spinoff from the spinoff Avenger shows. But, truly, at this point I’m tapped. The MCU? More like Meh-CU – amirite? But then, BUT THEN…Agatha came along. A show with a very strong female lead (at least she’s working on getting her very strong mojo back…). A show about witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore with Kathryn Hahn! Aubrey Plaza! Patti LuPone! The mom from “That 70s Show!” And SNL alum Sasheer Zamata who just came out as a “late in life lesbian!” And just when I’ve finally settled into spooky season. Yeah, fine. OK, I will happily watch this series. And Emma Caulfield is returning as her WandaVision character for all the Buffy (but not necessarily Joss Whedon) fans out there. As I was saying, yeah, fine. I will watch this in the spirit of the Sanderson Sisters et al. Look, if they can make 10 movies about Spider-Man, they can make a second show about powerful witches. Because, you know, witchy representation matters.

Coven of Gayness, err, Goodness

What, two days of good news in a row? The new “Agatha: Coven of Chaos” (a spinoff from the pretty excellent “WandaVision”) is shaping up to be pretty excellent as well. In addition to its bewitching (see what I did there) lead Kathryn Hahn, the series will star Aubrey Plaza (yes, that Aubrey Plaza) and SNL alum Sasheer Zamata (and also Joe Locke, if you’re a “Heartstopper” fan).

“WandaVision” is by far the favorite so far in the Marvel Television Universe, but then I’m always partial to shows with a so-called Strong Female Lead. And if it’s Strong Female LeadS, well all the better. Look, I’ve been into witchy stuff since at lease Willow and Tara. So I am ready for some coven chaos, and if they smooch then all the better. Do I expect them to smooch? No. But Kathryn, Aubrey and Sasheer have all played gay/smooched ladies on screen already, so why fix what ain’t broke?

p.s. Instead of a Pre-L, this week I’ll just do an premiere episode review instead. I plan to have it up Friday but, again, everything has been moving more slowly for me lately – so intentions and results may not always coincide. I hope to Pre-L the rest of the season, but again we shall see. Thanks for sticking with me.

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The Way Kathryn Hahn Looks At...

If you’re like our household, you’ve been unexpectedly enjoying the heck out of “WandaVision” on Disney+. I honestly hadn’t really expected much out of the superhero show. I thought it’s show-within-a-period-show gimmick was probably just going to be that, a gimmick. But from its meticulous eye for detail when it comes to classic American sitcoms tropes through history to its unexpectedly dark underpinnings (like, no spoilers, but the whole premise for the show is pretty traumatic if you think about it), it has entertained at every turn.

Also, if you’re again like our household, one of the not entirely unexpected things you’ve enjoyed the heck out of about “WandaVision” is Kathryn Hahn’s portrayal of Wanda and Vision’s faithful next-door neighbor Agnes. Now I say not entirely unexpected because whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely thought Kathryn excellent in everything you’ve seen her in before. “Parks & Recreation?” Great! “Transparent?” Wonderful! “Girls?” Oh, man, that was her in “Girls!”

[Spoilers if you haven’t watched the latest episode]

Knowing that Kathryn’s Agnes/Agatha has been the real one behind the weirdness in Westview (well, besides the inherently weird/immoral/truly dark erasing of an entire town’s free will as a monstrous act of unresolved grief). But I relish the idea of Kathryn given a wickedly juicy role to play.

[End Spoilers]

And it’s another good reason to bring back this glorious Kathryn Hahn is smitten with Rachel Weisz clip. I can only hope her most recent work will bring another round of well-deserved critical acclaim which will then bring more well-deserved award consideration which would then result in her being placed on roundtables with other well-deserving actresses so we can recreate this moment. The way Kathryn is adoringly gazing at Rachel is the epitome of the “Get someone who looks at you the way... *blank* … looks at … *blank*” meme. It’s certainly the way any self-respecting queer woman would look at Rachel Weisz. Like either Kathryn is that great of an actress or that smitten with Rachel or both. The evidence speaks for itself.

GGALGG: See Sarah Flirt

You may have noticed in yesterday’s (very very belated; sorry about that) post, there was no mention of the one and only Sarah Paulson. But, don’t worry, while Ms. Paulson and her Lover Holland (looking very American Lesbian Gothic, I might add) did not attend the ceremonies, they certainly made it out on the town that night. And they certainly made a splash at the Vanity Fair party. Or should I say Sarah made a splash while flirted with basically everyone. But, you know, in a fun way and not a threatening to her relationship with Holland Taylor way. So, as the youths of today would say, here are all the receipts of Sarah’s Oscar flirts.

Sarah & Holland

Duh, of course she’s gonna flirt with her lady.

Sarah & Elizabeth Banks

Bosley is clearly smitten and wants to sign Sarah up for the Angels.

Sarah & Whitney Cummings

Part flirting, part checking each other’s teeth for lettuce.

Sarah & Joan Collins

Is it weird I want Joan to throw Sarah into a pool? Like have I found my kink?

Sarah & Amanda Peet

Please, like lesbians and their straight BFFs don't flirt sometimes.

Sarah & Judith Light

Watching these two flirt counts as a religious experience – in the gay community.

Sarah & Judith & Katie Couric

That Sarah, always looking to add a third.

Sarah & Kathryn Hahn

How have they never worked/flirted together before?

Sarah & Kathryn & Janet Mock

See what I was saying about the third?

Sarah & Joni Mitchell

Shoot your shot, Sarah Paulson, shoot your shot.