Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Somewhere Wonderful

Since I’m trying (emphasis on trying) to have a more positive outlook heading into 2025, I thought I’d mention one more thing I’m thankful for in 2024. “Somebody Somewhere,” which ended its third and final season earlier this month, is easily one of my favorite shows of the year. In fact it’s easily one of my favorite shows of the past several years. Possibly, and this is a big statement, of all time. But, definitively, it’s the best, most lovely TV show I watched this past year. Period.

This small, unassuming series about a middle-aged woman and her gay best friend living in their small Kansas hometown feels like the warmest, tenderest of hugs. But it’s not just an exercise in sugary feel-good weepiness. All of its tears – and believe me I cried buckets during the finale – are earned through real connection with these imperfect but still trying characters. You will recognize the elemental bonds between Sam and Joel. You will feel the complicated prickliness surrounding Sam and her sister, Tricia. You will welcome the embrace of this group of oddball outsiders who form a family. Bridget Everett & Co. poured so much love into these people’s lives and allows them to take up space in a world that so often ignores (or even worse) the so-called weirdos. And lest you think it is all just schmaltzy rainbows shit, this show is funny. So. Fucking. Funny.

I’ve always called “Somebody Somewhere” a little show with a big heart. This transplanted Midwestern gal feels seen, and anyone with a found family will feel at home. That we got three whole seasons is a gift in itself. And it’s one I will cherish, and rewatch, forever. Happy end of 2024, kittens.

Monday, December 30, 2024

Music Monday: Ingrid Lang Syne

On this penultimate day of 2024, I hope you have plans soon to gather with good friends and raise a glass, and your voices, together. Sure, it’s easier when you have the singing caliber of friends that Ingrid Michaelson has. But the rest of us can muddle through with maximum enthusiasm instead. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, December 27, 2024

My Weekend (Christmas) Crush

Please, like I wasn’t going to post the original this week just to bookend the holiday experience. The melancholy majesty of Judy Garland’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” remains unmatched. She may have sung it 80 years ago in “Meet Me in St. Louis,” but her voice continues to ring through the ages. I hope your heart has been light this week, and well beyond. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Let’s Jingle

Just because Christmas is over, doesn’t mean the holiday spirit is done as well. So as we enter into the strange twilight week between Christmas and New Year’s when no one knows what day it is or how many cookies they’ve eaten, may we all rejoice in the weirdness that was the 1988 Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special featuring kd lang singing “Jingle Bell Rock” in a denim western dress. This is the chaotic queer joy I hope to bring to every holiday occasion. Make the yuletide gay, indeed.

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

Christmas Brandi

Yes, I know. You already heard ”Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” this week. And I posted it from Billie Eilish (yes, her again) for Christmas last year. But, you see, it’s pretty much my favorite holiday song – in no small part because it was originally sung by Judy Garland and includes the line “make the yuletide gay.” So I will take every single version I can take, particularly when it’s sung by queer music icons like Brandi, Billie, Chappell, et al. And, well, it’s Christmas. So, please, whatever you celebrate today I hope your day is merry, bright and more than just a little gay. Merry Christmas, kittens.

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Santa Weirdo

Anyone having holiday anxiety and similarly convinced that they ever actually met The Big Guy they’d also make it weird? Though, as a single gay woman, I think if a strange man in a red suit carrying a sack showed up in my living room in the middle of the night I would probably freak out and do a lot more than make it weird. So I commend fellow gaymos Kate McKinnon and Billie Eilish on keeping it just weird with Santa. Happy Christmas Eve, ya weirdos.

Monday, December 23, 2024

Music Monday: Christmas Chappell

I think one of the better storylines of 2024 has been the meteoric rise of Chappell Roan. Yes, there have been a few bumps along the way, but somehow they’ve mostly just made her that much more relatable. From relatively niche indie newcomer to bona fide mainstream superstar, she appears to be the very definition of overnight – well in this case over year (first post last March, MARCH!) — success. But, of course, there is no such thing.

Yes, sometimes amazing people seemingly get noticed by everyone all at once. But Chappell has been working, grinding, performing for years – and usually far less glamorous locales than international music festivals in front of hundreds of thousands of screaming fans. That she found her audience, even with such an unabashedly gay agenda and aesthetic, is a testament to her talents. It is also a testament to personal growth, because here she is is six years ago playing in the KOLR10 and Fox49 studios in Springfield, Missouri. Six years later, and she has six Grammy nominations. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, December 20, 2024

My Weekend (Carol) Crush

Dearest, it is time. “Forget” your gloves. Eat creamed spinach and poached eggs. Drink so many dry martinis with olives. And invite that cute shop girl round, sometime. Happy Carol Day Weekend, all.

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Lesbian Deeds

I remember Liz Feldman when she had a rainbow light saber and did vlogs for that former website that should not be mentioned. Now she’s back with a new TV show starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano as well as a couple of queer actresses featured in sapphic storylines. The dark comedy features Lisa and Ray as a couple selling their beautiful home while trying to hide a secret from its potential buyers. They include “A League of Their Own”’s Abbi Jacobson and Poppy Liu as a lesbian couple trying to have a baby and Linda Cardellini as a woman having a secret relationship with Shane herself, Kate Moennig. I don’t know anything else about their stories yet – and haven’t had a chance to watch (it started streaming on Netflix last week). But I’m happy to see Abbi and Kate in meaty queer roles. And any alum from the old AE days doing well? Well, it warms the cockles of my little gay heart.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Another Harley Ride

Admittedly, I am behind on my viewing. The fourth season of “Harley Quinn” debuted in 2023 and for some reason I just haven’t caught up. I know, I KNOW. But with the holidays and a little down time coming up, I think I’m perfectly primed for some sapphicly inclined mayhem. Plus, Harley and Poison Ivy are great role models for that whole “Become Ungovernable” thing I’m going to be trying out in 2025. Here’s to the bestest, most titillatingest, most excitingest queer female couple on television. What? She carries a bat everywhere, like I wasn’t going to call them that?

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

A Wicked (in a good way) Couple

While we’re swooning over “Wicked,” let us not forget that its star is an out queer woman who is dating another out queer woman who are both absurdly accomplished. I don’t know why it took me two years and a damn People magazine article to clue into the fact that Cynthia Erivo and Lena Waithe are a couple. Like, how did I not know that? At first I thought it was maybe because they’d been lowkey and not gone out in public much. But then I did a quick image search and, uh, they’ve been everywhere together. EVERYWHERE.

How everywhere? Well this year alone they’ve been to…

…the US Open in September

and the Olympics in August (with many famous friends, peep Anna Wintour in the front there, yo),
and the Tonys in June (with another Elphaba),
and The Los Angeles LGBT Center Gala in May (with a woman whose name should be kept out of your mouth, especially if you are Chris Rock),
and the Met Gala in May,
and the “Shirley” premiere in May (with "Shirley" herself),
And the Oscars Vanity Fair party in March (I call this Florence & the Queer Machine).
The thing is, they’ve been officially dating since 2022. Yet somehow I was oblivious to this fact despite them stepping out time and time and time again that very same year.

Like at the SAG Awards dancing February 2022 (with dancing queen Jessica Chastain).

Or the Oscars in March 2022.
Or the GLAAD Awards in April 2022.
Or the Grammys also in April 2022.
Or the BET Awards in June 2022.
Or the Tonys also in June 2022 (with photobomb by Bernadette Peters).
Or the Glamour Awards in November 2022 (though I'm still sad about Poussey).
Yeah, I don’t know how I missed it either. And attending more than one fancy dress event in one month together over multiple months? I hang my head in shame. Though, I will say the most relatable thing about their relationship so far is their (relative) hibernation in 2023. I could find only three images of them out and about. Sophomore year of a relationship nesting, I see you.

From 2023:

Dancing with Dwayne Wade at his Fall of Fame party in August.

Snuggling at the “Stephen Sondheim's Merrily We Roll Along” opening in October.
And hanging with Rustin himself in December.
Anyway, I hope my now exhaustive chronicling (bordering on stalkerish, sorry about that but these were all public events) of this most excellent lesbian power couple suffices as a mea culpa. And, lest we forget, there should be much more to come with “Wicked Part 2” hitting theaters next year. Go forth, and be gloriously gay and tremendously talented together on every red carpet you can find, Cynthia and Lena. Or should we call them Cythna?… Lethia? …Waitiro? … Evithe? Yeah, those are all terrible. Just congrats to the happy couple.

p.s. This one is from when, as they’ve said themselves, they first met at the Met Gala in 2018. Rainbow capes plus rainbow eyebrow rhinestones? It was written in the Celesbian Stars, I tell ya.

Monday, December 16, 2024

Music Monday: Wicked Edition

Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way first – yes, I loved it. Yes, I also loved the musical. Yes, it really was hard not to sing along. Yes, the cast was all excellent and the set pieces extravagant. Yes, I can’t wait (checks watch) a whole damn year for Part 2. Yes, you should catch it if you have a chance. Yes, of course I believe Elphaba and Glinda are not-so secretly in love. Duh. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, December 13, 2024

Mental Health Minx: Anne & Diana

Anne Shirley and Diana Barry were in love. Period. What did you think bosom friend means, people?

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Mental Health Minx: Auliʻi Cravalho

Well, it’s Thursday. And Auliʻi Cravalho is wearing a leather vest. So, this all seems appropriate. Also appropriate, this new class of young queer stars – your Auliʻis, your Renees, your Chappells, your Bellas, your Billies, et al, who are refreshingly, uncompromisingly open about their sexuality. So, yeah, America – the No. 1 movie in America (Moana 2) is led by an out queer young woman. And the No. 2 movie is, too (more on Wicked soon).

Mental Health Minx: Cate & Rooney

This is my favorite red carpet picture from the “Carol” press tour. The light, the dark, the dramatic sweep of it all. Ten days until Dec. 21, after all. Ladies, prepare you Gloved Lunches.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

A Year

It’s been, quite frankly, a bit of a shit year. The tail end of 2024 has especially been working overtime. My favorite aunt, my mother’s only sister, passed away after a sudden and short illness last weekend. Very sudden and very short. So I will be taking a few extra mental health days. I should be back to posting regularly next week. Tell the people you love that you love them, kittens. Tell them today.

Monday, December 09, 2024

Music Monday: Squeeze a Fruit

Last Weekend’s Crush got me thinking about our shared history as queer people. And as long as there have been LGBTQ+ rights activists, there have been allies as well. So please enjoy this 1977 anti-Anita Bryant diddy “Squeeze a Fruit for Anita” by Anni O’Brien and Rosey Carter. I haven’t been able to dig up that much on the singers, but Carter was, I believe, June Carter Cash’s daughter. Squeeze a Fruit for Anita was also a popular protest slogan of the time. Here we are 47 years ago, fighting these same stupid battles against the same bigoted so-called Christians. Time to write some new songs, queers and allies. I mean, while we’re also loading up on pies. Happy Squeeze a Fruit for Anita or Pie a Bigot in the Face Monday, kittens.

Friday, December 06, 2024

My Weekend (Protest) Crush

I wanted to send you into your weekend with a little reminder that direct action has always been a part of resistance and protest. So please, please, please enjoy with all your little gay heart as famed anti-gay bigot Anita Bryant getting pied in the face. Yes, you are allowed to laugh. Making fun of absurd hatred by pointing out its absurdness works. While the pie-ing is the main attraction, please take note her matter-of-fact discussion of homosexuals “flaunting it” and “deviant lifestyles” and denying they’re trying to “do away with the homosexuals.” Gosh, does any of that sound familiar? Much to my surprise, she’s apparently still alive. And I bet she loves the GOP’s anti-trans messaging these days. Same old playbook. I guess we need a lot more pies in the years to come. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, December 05, 2024

Serious Funny Business

Fortune inspired me to find more joy. And comedians, well, if they’re doing it right they’re professional joymakers. So if you’re decompressing from your family and ready to laugh, here is a little taste of Wanda Sykes. I’ve watched all of Wanda’s Netflix specials. And it is high time I rewatch them. As an out Black lesbian comic, her career is a testament to perseverance, talent and just being yourself. Truly, she should have been as big, or bigger, than Ellen. But, you know, she’s doing pretty well as is – despite the election results. I can’t wait for her next special. Given her recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel, she’ll have plenty of material. Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.

Wednesday, December 04, 2024

ExMas Eve Viewing

When I say there are only a few lesbian holiday rom-coms this year, I mean besides Tello’s “The Holiday Club” I only found one other. “Last ExMas” is an indie film funded largely through, I think, a Patreon. Per its official description:

Maggie & Julianne, ex-girlfriends whose bitter breakup led them down different paths until they unexpectedly rekindle the spark during a visit to their hometown for the holidays. Are they meant to be or is it just the magic of the season? Maggie and Julianne will have to navigate their feelings, the gossiping town, and ghosts of exes past to find out!
From the trailer, they packed in all the exes and enemies to lover vibes you could ever want. The film is written by Adrianna DiLonardo, who also wrote the 2016 indie straight-lesbian besties comedy “Almost Adults.” And as proof of the It’s a Small Lesbian World Entertainment Carousel, “Almost Adults" lead Elise Bauman was one of the stars of my favorite lesbian holiday rom-coms, “Under the Christmas Tree.” So, you know, we’ve got some lesbian pedigree going. “Last ExMas” is available to stream now, so you know what to do.

Tuesday, December 03, 2024

Lesbian Christmas Returns

It’s beginning to look a lot like lesbian Christmas! Tello Films, that steadfast deliverer of sapphic content, is back with another holiday film. Honestly, it may be THE holiday film, given it's called “The Holiday Club.” Per the official description:

Sam hates the holidays. Bailey loves them. On a lonely Valentine’s Day, the two women in small-town Ohio meet incidentally, bonding over pastry and an instant attraction. With every passing holiday, they spend more time together … But romance proves elusive.
A slow-burn holiday rom-com after a meet cute PLUS pastries? Sold. And, from the trailer, the two leads have good chemistry. And, you know, there are baked goods. Looks like this Tello offering may be one of the few sapphic holiday films we’ll be getting this year. After offerings in 2023 from Hallmark (“Friends & Family Christmas”) and Lifetime in 2021 (“Under the Christmas Tree,” which honestly is underrated), the major networks don’t seem to be making things as merry or gay this year. But, at least indie producers like Tello are still out there. So if you are hankering for some sapphic holiday romance, head over to their site.

Monday, December 02, 2024

Music Monday: Moved by Mavis

How can you not be moved by Mavis Staples singing “We Shall Not Be Moved?” In this moment, solidarity is our greatest power. Over the next four years we must come together to support our communities and other marginalized communities. LGBTQIA+ people, Black people, other people of color, disabled people, undocumented people, migrant people, poor people and all those others on the margins will need to support each other. We will not relent in our fight for our civil and human rights. We will not be moved from our shared humanity. Happy solidarity Monday, kittens.

Friday, November 29, 2024

My Weekend Crush

Well, what’s more joyful than coming out? And coming out while talking about one of the few things we can actually look forward to in 2025? Now, that’s a twofer of epically gay proportions. Kelly Marie Tran, of “Star Wars” and “Raya of the Last Dragon” fame, came out in a behind-the-scenes feature for Vanity Fair about the new even queered remake of “The Wedding Banquet” set to premiere next year.

To jog our collective memories, the movie will feature Kelly and queer Golden Globe winner Lily Gladstone as girlfriends who are trying to have a baby through IVF, who concoct a plan with their gay male friends – played by queer SNL star Bowen Yang and South Korean actor Han Gi-chan. The movie will also star LGBTQ+ ally extraordinaire (she of the 90s/early 2000s lesbian movies “Wild Side,” “What’s Cooking?,” “Saving Face” et al fame) Joan Chen as Kelly’s character’s mom and Oscar-winning South Korean actress Youn Yuh-jung as Han’s grandmother.

The stellar, and stellarly queer cast, helped inspire Kelly to come out. She told Vanity Fair:
“I haven’t said this publicly yet, but I’m a queer person. The thing that really excited me about it was I got to play a person that I felt like I knew. I don’t feel like I’m acting at all in this movie…. I’m here doing this amazing movie with these amazing people. I’ve never been in a queer space before. I’ve never truly felt this accepted before.”
Congratulations, Kelly! I am going to assume that your toaster oven is in the mail. I am always extra thrilled to welcome more gaysians into the fold. You have certainly earned your truth and your tributes after having to weather relentless online bullying already for daring to be an Asian woman in a “Star Wars” movie.

It sounds like the experience of filming the new “Wedding Banquet” reboot with “Fire Island” director Andrew Ahn has been a reaffirming celebration of queer joy. Kelly says of the new film that “the spirit is the same, and I think it’s even more queer.” And Lily called the production “just one big cuddle.” And just look at the sapphic cuteness between Lily and Kelly together. Yes! More queer! More cuddles! Queer POC actors playing queer POC roles! More sapphic cuteness!

As I was saying, now that’s something to look forward to in 2025. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Happy Gender Fuck Chersgiving

Well, kittens, today I am thankful for Cher dressed in Elvis drag being embraced by Stevie Nicks like she’s at prom with the bad boy your parents warned you about. In these grim times, it’s the little things that can bring joy. Hope you’ve found a little something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving as well. May you all have plenty of good food and company today, and a little gender fuck never hurt either on a Thursday.

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

Lesbian Soccer Mom Central

While I’m on a roll, how about even more joy? Soccer stars Sam Kerr and Kristie Mewis are having a baby! The sporty couple (Sam plays for Chelsea and the Australian national team and Kristie for West Ham and the US national team) announced their engagement last year – also in November. They’ve been together since 2020, and famously confused a few fans by cuddling on the pitch after a USA/Australia World Cup match. Aren’t female friendships the best? I mean, it’s almost like they’re roommates. Anyway, congrats to the happy couple who in 2025 will become the very definition of soccer moms.

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Fame & Fortune

OK, how about a little joy for a change? Just in time for the holidays, our favorite Hooters-loving lesbian comic is back with a new Netflix comedy special. “Crushing It” will feature more stories about Fortune’s family and wife, Jax. To which I say, break out the Hooters wings and let's get to laughing.

Monday, November 25, 2024

Music Monday: Let's Talk About It

Yes, another Tracy Chapman song. Yes, another reminder for these times. We can either rise up or continue to be ground down by the incessant demands of capitalism fueled by the endless greed of the 1%. Or we can start with a whisper that builds to a fucking scream. Do not comply in advance. Do not normalize these carnival barkers. Anyway, per usual, fuck the patriarchy, fuck white supremacy and fuck late stage capitalism. Happy Monday, kittens!

Friday, November 22, 2024

My Weekend Crush

I leave you this week with a moment of grace. Mahalia Jackson remains one of the most celebrated civil rights singers – from Selma to the March on Washington and, tragically, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s funeral. I think, during the next four years and beyond, we can all listen a lot more closely to Black women. Marginalized people will need every last bit of grace the world can give in the face of what is to come. Take a moment, steady yourself. Find your grace and happy weekend, all.

p.s. To the poster who continues to scream about how I lost Kamala the election by going on vacation, not that it’s truly any of your business, but I went to see my 83-year-old mother who I only get to see maybe once a year and lives half way across the country so we could celebrate my birthday together for the first time in more than 25 years and also could ride out the election side by side. If you don’t like how I spend my time you are certainly welcome to stop reading my little blog. Best.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Lesbians Matlock-ed In

Naturally, given my new age bracket, I love the new “Matlock.” Also, what a showcase for Kathy Bates. Hello, love her always. But as I was watching the first few episodes I kept thinking, “You know what this show needs? Lesbians!”

Well, ask and ye shall receive. In a recent episode they dropped that Maddy Matlock’s eager fellow junior associate Sarah Yang is gay. They also introduced a cute IT specialist Kira, too. So, you know, that better happen this season. Sarah is played by Leah Lewis, who you might remember from the queer teen coming-of-age movie “The Half of It.” (You know, the long-awaited second feature from “Saving Face” writer-director Alice Wu.)

The latest episode also featured a lesbian couple who filed a wrongful death lawsuit over the death of his baby. So, you know, they’ve locked down the lesbians of a certain age viewership for sure now. The good news is we will have more to watch since the show has already been renewed for a second season. The show is on a little break right now, until after the holiday. But that gives us all the time to catch up. And also imagine the awkward yet adorable first date between Sarah and Kira.

ETA: Had to screenshot the lil Matlock lesbians for ya. So cute!

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Mountains of History

Just a reminder – for those of us who have forgotten or perhaps were never taught – the wealth-hoarding elites of this world have always pitted those at the margins against each other. Human innovation (not to mention obscene wealth) has almost always come with the cost of human exploitation. And history has shown us accept that price over and over and over again – often for the possibility of even a fraction of said wealth. Anyway, just something you think about when the literal richest man in the world is now also suddenly one of the most powerful men in politics. Funny how that works. Tracy knew 36 years ago. How little things truly change. How badly they still need to.

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Fuck the Patriarchy

I’ve lost the capacity to be disappointed in America. I know that is my privilege speaking – many communities have long ago lost faith in their fellow citizens’ concern for their life and liberty. Yet I stupidly thought we had maybe learned our lessons from 2016. Maybe we were ready for an incredibly smart and extremely qualified woman instead of, you know, the least qualified and most heinous man in the whole fucking world. Yet here comes the American electorate, Lucy-ing all sane citizens with that damn football. Again.

So, again, I look at every passing person and think, “Did they vote against my and other marginalized people’s pursuit of happiness?” And the answer, in most cases, is probably, “Yep, they sure did.” Racism, sexism, greed, stupidity. Pick your Pandora's box poison, it all went into his win and our loss. Those are some hard truths about your fellow Americans to sit with. Hard truths, but unfortunately nothing new.

As the horror of the second Trump term grows ever closer, we each need to find the best way to survive and – if we can – thrive. And that starts with checking on your people. All of the people I care about are scared and stressed and barely holding their shit together at this moment. While many of us may want to turn off the lights and find a safe place to gently rock back-and-forth, I implore everyone to keep caring, keep connecting.

When people say that our institutions will not save us, this is exactly what they mean. I feel foolish to have taken this long to fully understand how vulnerable and ineffective so many of our civic systems truly are. If they cannot protect us during the onslaught to come, then they were never actually designed to help those who need it the most. Instead we must strengthen our communities and find new alliances for support and power in the coming years. Think globally, act locally should be more than just a bumper sticker mantra.

A clear-eyed look at our country’s history shows those of us who support expanded freedom and civil rights locked in an endless knock-down, drag-out brawl against those who are against including more people in the American dream. From colonialism to slavery to civil rights to women's rights to LGBTQ+ rights and immigrant rights. I mean, we’ve been punched in the face by the patriarchy for 248 years, what’s four more?

The entrenched cis-het white male power structure has always worked against giving more and more diverse people autonomy and equality. I mean, the Founding Fathers went to war over freedom from taxation, not just freedom for all – full stop.

So where are we? Well, fucked. Clearly. But also, kind of in the same place. The same people who always fight against progress are fighting against progress. The time and labor those of us who want progress will have to expend pushing back against their bigotry, stupidity and nonsense is precisely why they do it. We’ll be fighting for the next four years – and then some – to get back to where we are now. But fight we must.

I too am frightened and angry and exhausted all at once. But I also feel a grim solidarity with all similarly like-minded people. And while the total vote tally may wind up showing fewer of us this time, we are still legion. To say that I’m comforted that so many other people are in the same panicked state – stressed, sad, scared – would be wrong. I don’t feel comfort from the unjustified suffering of others. But I will say it makes me feel a little less alone. And maybe you too will feel less lonely in this grim moment. Some 74 million of us are all feeling the same fear and loathing.

May all of us, after a little rest and a good cry, dust ourselves off and continue the work of creating that more perfect union. Keep fighting, keep connecting, keep lifting each other up. Our fight does not end with one election. Our communities are stronger and more resilient than one man. We will continue bending the arc of the moral universe toward justice for all. Because, and I mean this with every fiber of my being, fuck the patriarchy.

Monday, November 18, 2024

Music Monday: America Goddam

The thing is, America has always been like this. The whole “Great Again” refrain has always been a backlash against progress, always been an anthem for the status quo, always been propaganda for the existing white patriarchal world order. Nina Simone knew it 60 years ago. We know it today. America, goddamn.

Friday, November 15, 2024

Mental Health Vacation: POTUS SBP

Truly, the very, most and beyond not a real reason to be genuinely scared and upset in this historical moment, but FUCK WE COULD HAVE HAD PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES STRAIGHT BETTE PORTER. I deal with crippling despair about what is to come with humor and profanity, preferably together. Be kind to yourselves this weekend, all.

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Mental Health Vixen: 80s Rock

At this point, I won’t lie, I am just posting random photos I find in my archive folders that spark any kind of joy. So here are Cyndi Lauper and Elvira/Cassandra Peterson in the late 1980s. You know, the decade when that orange bastard was mostly just a gossip punchline, not the most powerful fascist on the planet. Sorry, I truly did mean to spark joy. Who knew I would look toward the 80s for that these days.

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Mental Health Vacation Vixen: Bite Me

I meant to post this around Halloween. But then I didn’t and then the mood passed. But you know what? Become ungovernable. Bite whoever you want whenever you want – with consent, unless of course they are breaching your consent in the first place. Fuck it. Bite them.

Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Mental Health Vacation Vixen: Still MVP

I am sorry, but while I am technically back, I am not ready to talk about it. I’m just not. I’m somehow still in the exhausted phase, even after a vacation. And it has only been one week. I hope you are all taking care of yourselves and those you love. We’ll certainly need each other.

Monday, November 11, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Kate Winslet

Last day of my vacation and I don’t know what to do with myself either. So here’s Kate Winslet in a vest. There, doesn’t that feel at least a little bit better?

Friday, November 08, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Hillary Clinton

Anyone who lived through 2008, 2016, et al knows exactly how I feel about Hillary Clinton. Never forget that she made all those cracks in the highest, hardest ceiling. Thank you, Hillary. Thank you.

Thursday, November 07, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Geraldine Ferraro

Forty years ago, Geraldine Ferraro became the first woman to be nominated as the vice presidential candidate for a major political party. I remember her running with Mondale, and how exciting it felt despite the landslide loss. Four decades later, here we are.

Wednesday, November 06, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Shirley Chisholm

We stand, all of us, on the shoulders of those who came before us. May we honor their hard work and historic audacity. So today, let’s all give a warm thanks to Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman elected to the House of Representatives in 1968 and the first Black woman to run for president for a major party in 1972. The first, but her legacy has ensured definitely not the last.

Tuesday, November 05, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Kamala Harris

Please, America. Please vote for the woman this time. Please vote for the Black and Indian women. Please vote for the best and most accomplished candidate* (*major party, I don’t have time for quibbles today folks). Please vote for the only candidate who will uphold our Democracy. Please vote for the only candidate who isn’t a racist. Please, America. Vote and finally reject that sad, vengeful, bigoted orange excuse for a human being. History must beat hate, once and for all. Kamala Harris for President. Period.

p.s. Also, come on, you know you want to see me write about President Straight Bette Porter for the next four-to-eight years. Right? Right.

Monday, November 04, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Joni’s Gay Mafia

Like, can you imagine the combined queer energy in that room? Brandi Carlile, Elton John, Chappell Roan and Lucy Dacus? Gay Mafia, indeed.

Friday, November 01, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Angelina Jolie

Today is my birthday. And Angelina is pretty much the most beautiful woman in the world. But, in that suit? Now that is what I call a gift. Happy birthday to me.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Willow & Tara

Happy Halloween! My two favorite lesbian witches (sorry, Agathario, but these are the O.G.s – and, again, is that redundant?) were truly pioneers in the televised sapphic arts. My pride in their place in LGBTQ+ history remains separate from any disappointment I may feel about their series creator. But back to wicca good and love the earth and women power. Enjoy the magic and candy today, kittens.

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Agathario

Yep, I’m fleeing for the election. Kidding, I’m going home for my birthday this year. And also kind of fleeing from the election. Look, I don’t judge your coping mechanisms. As I was saying… I am fleeing. But I wouldn’t flee without leaving you with some vixens. Tonight being the finale of “Agatha All Along,” I thought I’d leave you with a little Agathario treat. Sure, I can’t dream of a happy ending for our sapphic witches (wait, is that redundant?) But we all deserve a Disney ending, right? I mean, they let Aubrey show off that decolletage. And Agatha called herself not a “straight lady.” So, maybe anything is possible when you wish upon a lesbian star.

P.s. JFC, give Patti LuPone ALL of the awards for her performance in last week’s episode. “I loved being a witch.” Damn. This show is truly something. And that something is stone cold gay (and good!).

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

My Vote, Your Vote, Our Vote

The older I get, the clearer I get about voting. Mind you, I have always voted. I even got to vote before I turned 18, because I was going to be out of the country on election day on my school foreign exchange trip. So I got to cast my absentee ballot early.

And I have voted in every single election since – save for one very small local primary I forgot was happening more than a dozen years ago – because I believe it is our duty as citizens. But, more than that, I have come to understand it as our duty as humans. Because a vote isn’t just an expression of political ideology – though of course we love to wrap emotion and identity and philosophy into each decision. But what a vote really is the physical exercise of how we systematically care for one another.

Our political system, as endlessly imperfect as it is, is still our best collective mechanism for change. As such, as we sadly know too well, it is also extremely resistant to change. Which is where voting comes in. Our democracy (except for the Electoral College, which – don’t get me started…) relies on an informed citizenry who votes. That more than half to a third of all eligible voters simply don’t bother to vote in any given election – honestly it blows my mind, but in some ways I get it.

I especially get it if people don’t vote out of hopelessness. That doesn’t mean I accept the lazy “both sides are the same” arguments. But I understand that years, decades, centuries of circumstances not changing for the most marginalized people can lead one to think nothing is possible.

But here is the thing. The entire history of humanity – and this country – has been a slow, and very painful march toward more inclusivity. It has not always been linear, nor has the progress always been significant or ever nearly enough. But slowly, slowly (and, yes, so very painfully) more and more people in this country are able to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

We have so much work to do. But almost none of that can happen if Trump wins again. That pathetic excuse for a human being with the Supreme Court-annointed immunity of a God-King and every lever of our federal and judicial branch at his disposal? It’s not hyperbole to think we’d stop making civil rights progress altogether – at least for the duration of his presidency/dictatorship, if not the remainder of our lifetimes.

So, again, that’s where voting comes in again. Yes, it’s imperative to vote for Kamala Harris and repudiate Donald Trump at the polls. Yes, we must rid our politics of the hateful MAGA cult. Yes, we must hold the House and win back the Senate. Yes, we must flip statehouses and city councils and school boards.

We do this not because we think Democrats or progressive candidates are magicians. Voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz won’t automatically solve all of our inequalities. But they are the only candidates who stand a chance of winning who can be pushed, and forcefully prodded if needed, to be better. And while marginally better may not feel like nearly enough, especially with the weight of so much suffering in our world, it is still infinitely better than the alternative.

And that, that is my whole philosophy of voting. I vote to do the most good for the most people. Each ballot I cast is a calculation. No, I may not agree with every single policy proposal or political stance of every politician I vote for. And, trust me, I’ve been plenty disappointed by Democrats over the years. Like, grow a damn backbone and stop thinking corporations will save us. But I am also a realist, and I know exactly how slow that moral arc of the universe has proven to be. It’s up to us to make sure it keeps arcing toward justice – and we must work to bend faster.

So, in this election, the choice could not be simpler. A vote for anyone other than Kamala this election is a vote that says my political ideologies are more important to me than the people who will be hurt by a second Trump presidency. Which, hey, this is a free country, you can feel however you want to feel and vote however you want to vote. For those voting for him, that harm is the feature, and not a bug, of his candidacy – obviously. But for the rest of us you can’t deny that his policies will hurt Black people, Brown people, Muslims, other POC, immigrants, women, LGBTQ+ people and trans/gender nonconforming people especially.

Plus, anyone who wants generals like Hilter can never be allowed back in the White House. Period.

So with one week to the election, and having already cast my ballot, I still believe in the possibility of a better America. And electing Kamala and finally defeating Trump (again!), well, that’s the first step toward any kind of brighter days. Vote Harris-Walz 2024. LFG.

Monday, October 28, 2024

Music Monday: Joni Jams

Well, if Joni says it, it has got to be true. I love how much love Joni Mitchell has been receiving on her comeback of comebacks. And I love that her recent Hollywood Bowl appearance included backup vocals by Elton John, Meryl Streep, Annie Lennox and more. Like, they’re her backup. Amazing. And that’s not even mentioning this epic backstage jam. It’s wonderful to see the world hand Joni all her flowers. Brandi Carlile continues to be the biggest cheerleader and supporter as the Joni Jam continues. Happy Monday, kittens. Oh, and fuck Donald Trump.

Friday, October 25, 2024

My Weekend Crush

Does anyone have fame figured out more than Elvira Mistress of the Dark/Cassandra Peterson? She is a full-on iconic character. Beloved! Idolized! Instantly recognizable! Then when she takes off the wig and makeup, practically anonymous. When Cassandra came out a few years ago, it was another one of those proud “Score one for the home team!” moments. Having the OG mistress of darkness be family is just another one of those reminders that we’re everywhere, we’re everyone. And, as Elvira proves, we’re cool (and spooky, in a cool way) as hell! And we can throw shade at so-called Good Witches like the Scream Queen she is. Happy almost Halloween weekend, all.

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Rocky Lady Picture Show

I really have to scrape the 90s memory banks to remember Christy Martin. I vaguely recall her being a trailblazing boxing star, and her pioneering Sports Illustrated cover definitely rings some bells. But, sadly, most of my remaining boxing knowledge from that era revolves around Mike Tyson biting off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s ear. So I think I somehow missed Martin’s harrowing life story and eventual coming out.

This is all to say that I’m rather excited about the new Christy Martin biopic starring Sydney Sweeney. Now, I mostly know Sydney as one of the terrifyingly cool teens on the first season of “White Lotus.” I never saw her hit rom-com “Anyone But You” (mostly because she and Glen Powell just look so much like people who would have bullied me in high school – even if they’re actually lovely….) and I don’t need the anxiety of watching young people make bad decisions that is “Euphoria.” But I know she has been proactively building her career, producing her own projects etc.

So Sydney has turned herself into a bit of a Muscle Mommy to transform for the role which I am definitely not mad about. She told Deadline Christy’s story is “powerful and emotional” and that she “not only legitimized female boxing, she overcame gender stereotypes, and fought through emotional, physical, and financial abuse.” And, don’t worry, it’s gonna be gay. Director David Michôd said the story will be about Christy “as a young gay woman in small-town West Virginia in the 1990s. She came from a relatively conservative family and wasn’t allowed to be who she was so she used boxing as a vehicle to express herself and her rage. She had to make some dangerous and fundamental compromises in her life, the most important of which was marrying an incredibly dangerous man.”

And the cherry on top of this Big Gay Biopic? Katy O’Brian, everyone’s reigning Muscle Mommy Crush thanks to “Love Lies Bleeding,” will play her boxing rival and eventual wife Lisa Holewyne. And Merritt Wever from “Nurse Jackie” (and another notably Bury Your Gays victim in “The Walking Dead”) is also in this thing which makes me happy because I lowkey adore her, period.

So, thoughts? Who has a better memory and recalls Christy’s glory days clearly? I’m just happy for my little gray cells that they’re making a movie – and the muscles don’t hurt either.

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

We Are the Champions

You know me, I’m not much for the sportsball. But if it’s women’s sportsball, well, you know that’s entirely different. I’ve gotten into the WNBA this season and very much enjoyed the playoffs and finals (yes, fine, sometimes I only watch during the playoffs because – damn seasons are long and these travel food shows won’t watch themselves).

Anyway, this is just a long way of saying, how about that NY Liberty vs. Minnesota Lynx Game 5? And of course it went to overtime. Of course. While I wasn’t necessarily rooting for either team (saving my allegiances for the Valkyrie, Bay Area baby!), I was rooting for a good game. And despite a bit of a shooting rut for some of the stars, we certainly got that.

Also, I love that two of the championship team’s biggest players are out, proud and happily celebrating for all to see with their partners and families. While the WNBA has certainly undergone some growing pains this unprecedented year (like, maybe don’t let “fans” be racist and homophobic, m’kay?), it also has evolved into one of the most inclusive leagues out there. We can only hope that as the WNBA’s popularity grows, so will its embrace of diversity and equity for all its players.

So congrats to the Liberty. Congrats to Breanna Stewart and her wife (and adorable baby) and to Finals MVP Jonquel Jones and her fiancée. Everyone watches women’s sportsball!