Come Out To My Window

Can you believe it’s been 30 years since Melissa Etheridge came out spontaneously at the Triangle Ball for Bill Clinton’s first presidential inauguration back on Jan. 20, 1993. While blurting out how she was “proud to be a lesbian all my life” with an exuberant k.d. Lang cheering her on, Melissa made unmistakable history as the highest profile star to come out as gay at the time. (k.d. Had done it a year before, but let’s face it she was alt-country at the time and Melissa was rock and had the bigger fanbase, period.)

It seems almost quaint now to think of the nudge-nudge, wink-wink we all went through with the celebrities we knew were gay but weren’t out at the time. Yes, obviously, this still happens. (No names, you know who you are.) Still it is encouraging to have so many younger queer/LGBTQ+ stars come out at the start of their careers — and not only once they’ve made it. So the days of proclaiming one’s queerness on the cover of Time magazine are likely over for good. Which is good.

While the career-ending stigma of coming out still lingers, so many of today’s stars have turned their sexuality into just another casual revelation about themselves akin to drinking oat milk instead of real dairy. (I mean, it’s a little bigger deal, but kinda barely?) And, again, that is good.

But while the nonchalance of coming out may be welcome, we should never forget the courage it took to be among the first. The right-wing panic you see about LGBTQ+ and especially trans people right now? Yeah, that was everywhere — and not just the prevailing sentiment among the looniest, most craven Republican lawmakers. I remember one of my favorite and closest high school teachers calling homesexuality “unnatural” at the time, and again there was nothing controversial or fringe about those beliefs.

Those of us with long enough memories are rightfully appalled at the GOP’s attempted turning back of the clock to the bad old days when so many of us had to hide our true selves. But instead of being discouraged, we should all approach this throwback hate with the full-throated gusto of Melissa did her music the year she came out. Here she is, just a few months after making history, belting out “I don't care what they think! I don't care what they say! What do they know about this love — ANYWAY?” Exactly this, always.