Low Ryder

Because this is the Fuck the Patriarchy Golden Globes week here at Surrenders, I thought we’d discuss that insane L’Oreal commercial that aired during the ceremony. You know the one, where a dark-haired actress prepares nervously for her big moment in a dressing room while inspirational music swells. And then, ever so slowly, she turns to reveal it is WINONA FREAKING RYDER. And then the tagline is, “Everyone loves a comeback. Damaged hair deserves one too.”

Holy fucking shitballs, did L’Oreal just compare Winona Ryder’s career to damaged hair?

Look, it’s true, everyone loves a comeback. And, yes, it would be nice if all our hair could be lustrous and beautifully conditioned. But JFC on a cracker, is this an awkwardly juxtaposed message.

As well constructed (seriously, I’m sorry they chose that particular keyframe for the video – not to mention the title – because the whole and entire drama not to mention impact of the thing was the reveal of Winona Freaking Ryder at the end) as this ad was an strangely emotional, it’s also one of those things they would never, ever, ever ever ever ever do to a man.

Has Robert Downey Jr. ever been in an ad that compared his comeback to nice hair? Has Rob Lowe been in a commercial comparing his career renaissance to deeply conditioned roots? Was Mel Gibson subjected to hair styling product metaphors? Nope, nope and fuck that guy.

My point is, it’s a terribly superficial comparison and our beloved Winona’s career arch deserves more than allegories about shiny hair.