Let’s talk, for a moment, about this horrible trend of fake lesbian bloggers. Both the authors of A Gay Girl in Damascus and Lez Get Real were revealed as frauds when, after amassing followings and support, they confessed to being married straight white men. They even flirted a little with each other as fake lesbian bloggers, which is the most and only funny part of these stories. Because what they did represents an insane breach of trust. Sure, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. You can’t even believe half of it. But you expect that people who dedicate themselves to writing about important issues of equality and justice come from, at every least, a place of truth. Now, these two men could care very deeply about LGBT rights. They could, in fact, be great advocates. But they can’t do that while lying to their readerships. And what they did hurts us all. It makes people wonder, is it all fake?Well, no, it’s not. I want to go on record and say, again, that I am not a straight white married man. I am not a man. I am not straight. I am not married. I am not any combination of the three. I am a gay gal who loves to write about pop culture and has done so online since 2006. The fact that married straight white dudes want to masquerade online as lesbian bloggers boggles my mind beyond comprehension. I really don’t understand why they bother. This isn’t a road to riches or any kind of quantifiable fame. It’s hard work that takes day-in-day-out commitment. Did they think this would be a way to somehow hook up with lesbians? Did they want to fantasize about being a gay woman? Did they just want to find better recipes for homemade hummus? I have no idea. But it makes me sad.
I write online because I love it. Writing, engaging, finding people who obsess about TV as much as I do. And I don’t reveal my “secret identify,” such as it is, for a number of reasons. I was always a shy child, and continue as an adult to fight persistent flashes of the tendency. That’s made me a private and cautious person. I seem to have missed the internet exhibitionist gene that afflicts so many these days. I also believe that writing is, ultimately, about the words. Without a face to put to them, it’s only about ideas and thoughts. So then it also becomes about trust. Do you trust the person on the other end of a glowing screen? I hope you do. I hope in the more than five years I’ve been banging away at a keyboard you’ve come to understand a little something about little old me. I don’t think you need to know what a person looks like to know what’s in their heart or mind (in my case: tank tops, girls in suits and a life-sized cut-out of Tina Fey). So today what I’d really like to do is thank you. Thank you for trusting me enough to come back, day-after-day, and to share this little corner of the Internet together where we can talk about high art and low art and really smart girls. I never take it for granted.
p.s. Yep, that’s really me in the picture. Well, at least my lips and terrible cuticles.
42 comments:
I trust you, Dorothy Snarker. I trust you and I love your words and your heart and your mind. The lips aren't half bad either ;-)
I will continue to come back here everyday until you decide that you don't want to write anymore.
And I will not let the fakery dampen my enthusiasm for authentic lady lovers and their blogs.
This is yet another example of your beautiful prose. Thank you for writing and for being you!
P.S.
Nice lips!
D, we know who you are and appreciate you for who you are. Those men needs some long hours in a therapy chair.
This is looking up big time. You went from only showing us your thumb and its ring in pictures where you hold cocktails and homemade lemoncello to showing lips, some face and almost an entire hand. It won't be long till I come here and find tits and vag. And it will be good :)
For the sake (pronounced sah-keh, like the Japanese drink) of your readership, please post nude pics of yourself soon. Thanks :)
No worries. Your cuticles look fine to me. :)
"I also believe that writing is, ultimately, about the words. Without a face to put to them, it’s only about ideas and thoughts."
You're right, the most important thing is the ideas and the thoughts and that's why I read your blog. Well, I also follow it for the drop dead gorgeous women, but I can honestly say whenever a Glee story has broken in the last year, I think 'I can't wait to read what dorothysnarker thinks about it', because so often you an insightful and inspiring.
But P.S., your lips are gorgeous, practically an Angelina Jolie level of bee sting.
Real and hott??
Wow.
I think there are many good reasons to write a pseudonymous blog - perhaps most importantly the desire to maintain as much control as possible over one's image. A writer does a fascinating dance between developing an authentic voice and creating self-image. Don't ask us to trust you. Rather, write with the ring of authenticity, and we will continue to take you seriously (what? I take Tank Top Tuesdays and Weekend Crushes very seriously indeed!).
There's another discussion to be had about the importance to culture of lesbian writers not concealing significant aspects of their identities, but that's just a discussion - not veiled criticism on my part. We need your voice, and if "Dorothy Snarker" is how you best keep it real, more power to you.
Thanks for this. I've been having trouble voicing why the fact that[Gay Girl in Damascus] was a man bothered me so deeply. I only recently started following you, but I trust you. Thanks for being a smart, gay woman in my world, who's happy to post about Glee and about the truth of your reasons for anonymity.
DS, I trust you.
I would even do the "Clap Your Hands If You Believe" thing for you, if you wanted me to.
This whole "I'm not a straight dude" thing was utterly unnecessary. We know you and we love you.
THANK YOU for writing this blog (and tumblr, and twitter), thank you for not sleeping and for sharing your cocktails with us.
And now thank you for sharing your beautiful lips
Well, I'm confident you're at least a woman (and I'm pretty sure about the lesbian thing too) because AfterEllen hired you to be their reporter on the red carpet at the GLAAD awards.
Or so you say....
LOL
Been reading here & occasionally corresponding since the begining ~ so know & love what you put here from inside your head. That occasional glimpse of thumb ring kept me going - while in France last week occasionally wondered if women with American accents could be you- no thumb ring so nope!
Don't need 'proof of life' our online relationship - as third wheel to your Tina Fey obsession will do for me.
Besides - just think how much research & effort straight White Het guy must have had to put into research - at least it comes naturally to us to admire & obsess over The content here ;-)
Keep on blogging on Ms Snarker!
Keep writing Ms. Snarker. I both trust and respect you.
And also enjoy the pictures of ladies in tank tops....
Thank you and long may you keep typing.
Love you and your cuticles Snarker!
Those are definitely the fingernails of a real gay woman. ;-)
I knew men had a monopoly on everything but lesbian blogs?! It's gone too far. I don't think the great gay blogs out there (D.S. #1!) need any help, good intentions or otherwise. It is perplexing...
Amanda
I love the beautiful image and agree with/appreciate your words. All the best, and thanks for years of fun, thoughtful dialogue.
I have just discovered a word that encompasses both the internet's reaction to these fake-gay-bloggers as well as the achele/tumblr reaction to Dianna's coming-in post, and that's Aporia
You have a face!! *shocked face*
Kidding, Ms. Snarker, I never doubted you for second, but I understand why you posted this. And thank you for doing so, because your posts are always interesting and 95% of the time I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Those men are sad and it's even sadder that they put great writers, like you, who wish to keep their identity somewhat secret for their own personal reasons, in danger of having people doubt them.
I really appreciate your writing and the scantily clad ladies you send our way ;) Thank you.
You do realize that every lesbian in SF will be intensely checking out the lips of all short Asian women with thumb rings to see if they can spot the elusive Ms. Snarker, don't you?
Fwiw I'm sure nobody meant it when they seemed to question you. I know I was just kidding...
If it took 2 hoaxers to get you to show that pic, how many more are needed needed to show, um, more? :p
Jk
Thanks for being true to us and to yourself. I'm in the reading and fanclub for the long haul, so keep up the good work!
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Wonderful words, wonderful thoughts, wonderful hands, wonderful lips!
Thanks
Blogging will always carry the risk of impostors, the same risk that exists with newspapers (see Jayson Blair and The New York Times) and authors (see James Frey). The risk does not reflect on the medium, but on us the media consumers. If we uncritically accept all we read, then shame on us. It has been fascinating to watch people ask for more personal details about you, yet an (over)abundance of such personal minutiae were freely offered by Messrs. Blair and Frey and served only to fuel a false sense of personal comfort with who they purported to be, instead of the truth of their writings. The clarity and precision of your writing is and will remain the truth about Dorothy Snarker. And thanks be to God for that!
Have you seen this insightful column from Slate.com?
http://www.slate.com/id/2296930/
You are loved for what you write and your incredible sense of humor and your caring about our rights and all things lesbiana.
Why did these men impersonate lesbians - because the internet is about hiding and deception and masquerading as well as openness and sharing.
Thanks for being you and sharing even as you have the need to remain private as well.
Says, anonymous
You are our literary Tina Fey, with hotter lips. (Oh, the blasphemy!)
AHA! So now we know the truth of the mysterious Snarker. she avoids posting pics of herself cuz the bitch is hot! doesn't want her readers to get distracted and forget about the words. very clever.
First, what Sue M said. Haha
Second, those guys deserve about two seconds more of blogosphere energy, and then all done. Back to tank tops and gender fucks. Seriously.
I like what @Mjfranci said :)
Well, it's probably the fact that you have a secret identity and take on the mantle of Ms. Snarker when you write your blog, which never made me doubt that you are who you say you are - because no straight white married man would pose as a lesbian blogger with a secret identity! This would be insane and ridiculous, right?
Right...?
Oh yes, and there's the fact that after following your every word for years and years I do believe as well that you can have a certain understanding of a person.
So, no doubt in my mind whatsoever, and even though it wouldn't have been necessary to post a picture of your very female, very lesbian, very unmarried lips and fingers as a proof, I do appreciate you did it, because that's a frakking awesome photo.
Now excuse me, please, I'll just go and look at those wonderful lips of yours for a little while longer - and I hope you will forgive me for doing so, because I'm a straight white man ... I swear!
Daniel
Regarding why straight male bloggers do are taking on lesbian/minority identities - I read an interesting article (link at bottom) basically saying that one reason could be that there are millions of straight men on the internet, all with their opinions on gay rights, the middle east, etc., etc. and getting your voice heard above the din is a lot easier if you can claim to be directly involved in whatever it is.
That's no excuse though, I say learn to write more eloquently or shut up, don't steal another group's identity! I'm totally with you on this one and for the record was never in any doubt that you were a lady lover - your inspired choices for tank top Tuesday prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt ;)
(http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/06/white_male_bloggers_passing_to.html)
I need to read your blog every morning, just as I need my coffee in the morning... without D.S. my day is not complete, and I get withdrawal headaches.
technical difficulties!
I'd like to thank you for your blog, the hard work that is writing every day, and for sharing that wonderful mind of yours with us readers. and thank you for the bonus of sharing some of your physical charms as well. We're much obliged.
Oh Ms Snarker I do adore you so! Thank you for your wonderful prose, tank tops & gender fucks. I trust you to keep writing, informing and entertaining as you have always done these past years.
I trust you, Ms. Snarker. Thank you for what you do.
You are a jewel.
Looking for recipes for homemade hummus! Hysterical. Straight men are jealous of lesbians that's why they impersonate them.
I am a tad late to the party, but, Dorothy, you are my one and only---blogger, that is. Always have been, and I have never doubted your authenticity for one second. I can, however, realize what imposters can do to the soul, despicable. Our faith in you is not shaken or questioned....never fear. You are so "the real deal". Please keep writing and sharing that beautiful mind ( and those luscious lips ;-) ) with us.
Too bad May Ray is not alive anymore! He would flip for the chance to (really) take your picture! As far as the "fake" thing, I go along Cay Rivvers to Vivian Bell: "not for a second".
Been following you for years now and yes, I trust you. You've been giving us the pretty, the smart and the hot and thus making our lives brighter. And yes, those are some sexy lips.
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