Thursday, December 09, 2010

Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Attire

So in the last week or so I’ve noticed a lot of ladies showing up on the red carpet in full men’s wear. I’m not talking just a petite blazer over a pencil skirt, but a real formal suit. Obviously, I’m all for this. And, being driven by the unwavering pursuit of scientific excellence, my next step was naturally to conduct my own thorough research into this phenomena. And because no scientific finding can be verified without a thorough peer review, I present my findings to you. If science was always like this in high school, I would have become a nuclear physicist.

Leighton MeesterThis is a full-on traditional men’s suit. I approve.

Olivia WildeThis is a full-on traditional 80s suit. I disapprove.

Winona RyderThis looks like she stole it from Marilyn Manson’s closet. But, it’s Noni and she does an amazing job with her small but crucial part in “Black Swan.” So, um, forgiven.

Jane LynchThis looks like she stole it from the set of “Night at the Roxbury.” But, it’s Jane fucking Lynch. So, forgiven forever.

Julianne MooreFifty is the new OMFGHOWHOTISTHAT?

Christina HendricksThat thump you just heard was the sound of lesbians everywhere hitting the floor after passing out.

Diane KeatonLadies look good in white suits, too. Usually, better than men.

Janelle MonaeSometimes a lot better than men.

Tilda SwintonSometimes there is no gender, only Tilda Swinton.

Ellen DeGeneresHell, Ellen doesn’t even need a suit jacket. She already has the most beautiful life-size boutonniere you could ever want.

I think all these lovely ladies may have blinded me a little with their science. While I try to regain sight, tell me which of these specimens you find the finest. Science, it’s irrefutable.


wenny0517 said...

I disapprove your disapprove of Olivia Wilde! She looks mighty fine in that suit! :P
However if we're talking about the finest specimen as you say, I'll say it's Julianne Moore! Damn, how is it possible that woman looks good and hot in anything at anytime? Oh boy..

Norma Desmond said...

HolyshitJulianneMoore. So much win.

Additionally, and sort of randomly, I have decided that Tilda is the perfect actor's neutral. Face, gender, everything. Perfect neutral.

battle_kitten said...

Julianne Moore and Christina Hendricks both look amazing! As a lady with a lot to give at the front myself, it's nice to see Christina give such a fantastic example of how to rock a suit!

I have to say I'm with you on Olivia Wilde's wardrobe choice, personally any 80s fashion is just wrong (I know that not everyone agrees with me on that one!)

Anonymous said...

If you'd posted a picture of Julianne Moore wearing those glasses she's holding, I might have embarrassed myself at work. I'm just sayin'... I just cannot believe she's 50. What is she, like an android or something?! Fucking perfection.

Sara said...

I loved this post! Julianne & Leighton look reeeaaally pretty.
And Ellen, she's genuine. <3

Emily said...

I also disapprove of your disapproval. I actually think Olivia Wilde looks super hot in that 80s get-up. Do I wish she wouldn've worn something different? Of course, but she still looks delicious.

And... Julianne Moore! Whew!

Erin said...

Julianne Moore...because I'm certain that the drooling started when I saw her's a wonderful shirt...if only more of them had opted for that shirt. Also, if I can look like that when I'm 40 let only 50 I will die a happy happy person...

Anonymous said...

i want ellen to be my partner everyday, not because i want to break up a happy union, but because she always looks hot and makes me laugh.

and julianne moore always does it for me. ALWAYS.

Get Set.Go said...

Suits, suits, and more suits! there is not one lady here that doesn't look good in a suit! Btw,Julianne Moore is a vampire, the cullens told me.

anna said...

nothing suits 'em like a suit.

Anonymous said...

Leighton is perfect. Love love love!

Anonymous said...

Leighton is my love. And I, too, disapprove of your disapproval. Olivia Wilde could get away with just about anything. She still looks completely hot.

Anonymous said...

Love love love Leightons suit :) and Christina Hendricks looks sexy as always but I think my favourite has to be Janelle Monae, <3 forever

Kirsten said...

love the suits and since we're on the topic of the red carpet i thought you might like this little link:

"classic" hollywood tropes with some of the lovely ladies featured on this site as well as some gents as well. lovely orchestration with the acting it makes for a nice counterpoint of the work the actors achieve before they walk the red carpet strutting their stuff for us ladies to appreciate here. :)

sonja said...

You want me to pick ONE? That is impossible. The best I can do is give you my top two: Julianne Moore (loved that caption for her, by the way) and Christina Hendricks (I don't even know who she is, but I'm going to find out).

I certainly wouldn't kick Leighton Meester or Ellen DeGeneres out of my bed either.

betsey said...

I agree with your findings in the Wilde case, even though I think Winona Ryder's outfit is more 80's than Olivia's-disapprove. My vote is for Janelle Monae. I think I like her the best out of this sample set. Leighton Meester is a close second, though, because she looks like she just got home, loosened her tie, dropped her briefcase and threw back a scotch/brandy/some other hard liquor. OK, they are probs tied.

Anonymous said...

I like Jane!

of course she said so.
Did you see the movie?

thanks for today's posting!
have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

Julianne Moore for the fucking win. <3

Angela Watson said...

Thanks for the mighty fine birthday present, Ms. Snarker!

BB said...

Leighton really rocks that suit. Very cute/pretty/sexy/stylish! This from someone who's never even seen an episode of Gossip Girl. Although she was funny in Date Night.

ununfriended said...

- Gender Fuck Joke -

Ellen DeGeneres
Jane Lynch
Jodie Foster
Justin Bieber

Comes One Way or Another


Estela Rengel said...

SHIT! OMG Ellen on this suit that's fucking crazy. And Julianne, no more to say.

Anonymous said...

Definitely Leighton!!! She looks GORGEOUS! I have to mention that Ellen looks mighty fine, too, but she always has great style! ;)

Anonymous said...

How in the hell does Julianne Moore keep getting hotter? She's been one of my favorites for what seems like forever.

Also, I want what Ellen and Portia have. They always look so happy together. Gives my lezzie heart hope!

Ava said...

Julianne Moore rules all.

This post also reminded me of a trend when I was in 7th grade - all the popular girls wore their father's shirts & ties to school. Was this a trend in other schools circa 1993, or were the popular girls in my school just a little lesbian-ish?

José Carrilho (Go Detail) said...

I find Julian Moore to be very attractive.
There are many beautiful women, but there's a big difference between being attractive (having that je ne sais quoi) and just being beautiful.

Julian Moore is what I call "a woman." If you get what I mean.