Hey, it’s Monday. But not in that, “I hate Mondays” Garfield kind of way. It’s Monday in that, “I love muscley ladies” kind of way. Yes, kittens, that most wonderful time of year when the ESPN Body Issue comes out is upon us again. And once again we can (respectfully) ogle impossibly fit athletes showcase the results of all that hard work, dedication and squats. Now, most of the images from these shoots I quite enjoy because, well, I don’t think I need to explain the appeal of hot naked ladies. But I will say the photos I enjoy the most each year are the ones that showcase these athletes doing what they do best. Granted, I’m sure they’re not accustomed to doing it naked. But, hey, maybe they do. If I had the body of a Greek god, I’d do everything naked, too.
I want to talk about how impressive her bicycle kick form is, but I can’t because ABS.
Courtney Force, NHRA Funny Car Driver
These cars can go more than 330 mph and use parachutes to slow themselves down. I don’t have a joke, that’s just damn impressive.
Elena Hight, Snowboarder
Explaining the frostbite on her delicate regions to the doctor should be fun.
Daila Ojeda, Rock Climber
Granted, I think I’d rather snowboard naked than rock climb naked.
Marlen Esparza, Boxer
Boxing naked seems terrible, too, but they can’t hit below the belt anyway. So maybe just more distracting than different.
Carly Booth, Professional Golfer
Her tattoo is the Shakespeare quote, “It is not the stars to hold our destiny, But it is ourselves.” I didn’t want you to have to strain your eyes.
Miesha Tate, UFC Bantamweight Contender
I don’t know if jumping is a big part of boxing, but I will accept it as a training exercise.
Swin Cash, WNBA Player
OK, fine, so this pose is a little cheesecake. But, um, there is a basketball.
Tarah Gieger, Motocross Racer
I want to talk about how badass she looks on that bike, but I can’t because THIGHS.