Thursday, July 26, 2012

Stewing

Oh for fuck’s sake. Look, people cheat. It’s a not-so-great quality of our puny human hearts, but it happens. But what shouldn’t happen when someone, anyone cheats is that they then have to go issue a public apology to People magazine. Because you know what? That shit is nobody’s business but the people who cheated and the people who got cheated on. I know we had a little discussion here earlier this week on privacy and what people have the right to keep secret and what people have the responsibility to reveal. But having to issue a public apology to the universe for having an albeit ill-advised indiscretion with someone is a bit nuts. I mean, she did not cheat on us.

Indeed, this sort of thing is normally the stuff of salacious political scandals. We’re used to politicians having to apologize for fucking around on their wives because the public trust is involved. It makes more sense then, while it’s still mostly an exercise in shamegasming schadenfreude. Those cases can underscore hypocrisy from policymakers who wish to impose their so-called superior morals on the rest of us. (i.e. Conservative Congressmen who cheat, but tell us we can't get married to protect to sanctity of marriage.) But this whole thing is just unfortunate and unpleasant and private. You can practically see the gears of a massive PR machine grinding in the background. If this is really coming from her and a place of genuine contrition, so be it. But it seems so contrary to her two-fingered salute to caring about what people have thought about her in the past.

Also, boy, am I not looking forward to the misogynistic tidal wave that is about to be unleashed on Kristen. Just wait for the “Slutlight” and “Ho White” headlines, they’re coming. Look, I’m not pro-cheating. Respect the person you are with and the loved ones of all involved. I hate that a family and children and anyone has to be hurt. But, this? Ugh.

Anyway, to summarize, I hope the next time a 22-year-old decides to cheat on her boyfriend, nobody has to issue a press release to People fucking magazine.

p.s. To be honest, the most “shocking” thing about this whole “scandal” is that KStew chose to cheat with someone from “Snow White & the Huntsman” and didn’t have the good sense to pick Charlize.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well said that woman!
Who *hasn't* made some less than wise decisions when they were that age?! Who needs them spread over the world's media? No one's business except those involved.

Anonymous said...

Jfc, the only person who is owed an apology and an explanation is the person who was cheated on. Kristen Stewart may be in movies we watch, but that doesn´t mean we have any special relationship with her or deserve to know about her private life.

Anonymous said...

She's really straight then? Really?!

Anonymous said...

Yawn....

Anonymous said...

Oh Come On! You have to know that when you put yourself in the public arena that you are vulnerable to public scrutiny.

Yes maybe it's childish to harp on "KStew's" indiscretion, but to write that it's none of our business is just as silly as when you announced that Santana shouldn't have been outed [despite her years of bullying people].

This is what happens in the real non subtexted world. Getused to it.

Anonymous said...

Bless you, Dorothy. I thought the same thing when her apology hit the news yesterday.

This has to be the grossest PR move since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch. Isn't this just to appease the "Twilight" fanatics so that they'll still turn out in droves when "Breaking Dawn 2" is released? And that they'll sit through it 100 times?

As if the rest of us give a rat's ass about Kristen Stewart.

XX said...

This is all very very weird. The cheating in front of cameras? Is it really so hard to have an affair behind closed doors, when you know that you are followed by cameras all the time outside?

Did Kstew really write this apology? Are we sure? This seems indeed out of character. Why did they both publicly comment on it AT ALL? Kristen seems to hate media attention and interviews etc. This is going to be a nightmare when she's promoting future films.

Everything about this feels weird and wrong... and why am I even commenting on that. Please world, there are more important things to lose your shit about. Go away, stupid "scandal"!

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be surprised if the "apology" was forced/influenced by the Twilight Movie producers. This really will affect the profits for their last film which largely rests on how much the audience will buy the onscreen romance of the 2 leads.

Anonymous said...

who cares...she is a nothing..did she ever do anything for anyone...even at that age i was already doing things for my community and the world i live in..don't waste ink on people who contribute nothing... we have more major problems than than her...like getting good governance.

Derek said...

She is 22, he is 41, anybody else see a problem here? Sounds more like molestation than an affair.

awnutts said...

What she did was inexcusable...to the wife of the man she cheated with, and maybe to her boyfriend. Assuming, of course, that this man she slept with and his wife don't have an open marriage.
To the rest of us, it's ridiculous to cover it. I HATE that she's getting all this flack for cheating on her boyfriend when this guy isn't getting any crap for cheating on his wife when he has kids. Honestly, I don't think ANYONE should get any public scrutiny for something that has nothing to do with their fans. And yet, it seems awfully misogynistic that the young woman is being vilified and the guy is being ignored.
Yes, I'm aware Kristen Stewart is much more famous. But remember the publicity storm surrounding Brad/Angelina/Jennifer? Angelina was a terrible temptress and Brad was...not that great of a guy. But so little of the public ire was directed towards him.

Carmen SanDiego said...

So she really likes guys? Hmmm
But What I really want to know is When will On The Road will be released in the US

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%.

Anonymous said...

In re awnutts. When David Beckham allegedly cheated on his wife Victoria (he denied it), the tone of the comments were along the lines of "Her husband cheated on her, the bitch!" with female jounalists leading the way. The double standard can get truly bizarre.

Gina17 said...

I couldn't care less about K-Stew and her life choices, but, man oh man, did that last comment make me laugh out loud (for real!). Well done, Ms. Snarker!

Jody said...

I'm not really a fan or a hater of KStew. Basically, to me, she's just a pretty young girl who has been in a couple of movies I've seen, and then I move on to what is actually going on in my life.

But I'm appalled that a 22yo is being vilified for mistakes she's made in her private life. Hello? She's 22. That's when one is supposed to be screwing up (no pun intended, I guess).

I'm SO glad no one was following me around at that age and tracking my actions. Basically every day was a comedy of errors in my personal life. You know why? Because I was 22! I'm sure some of my actions hurt people, as some of theirs hurt me. We all survived, learned some stuff, grew up, and moved on. So will she.

The big question is, what the hell was the 41yo married dude thinking? Oh, yeah, it doesn't matter because it's always the woman's fault.

Anonymous said...

She's getting a lot of hate on the boards, but ultimately the question remains, Is this a good business decision or a bad business decision. More revenue for Twilight or less revenue for Twilight? Therein lies her fate.

Anonymous said...

i must agree with Ms. Snarker. Charlize all the way!!!! I don't really think that 22 is an age where learning about desire and power and sex is a bad thing-- and this is what this kind of indiscretion often is about. So yes, cheating is bad, but come on. She's 22!!! And though i'm playing for the other team, i just find RP a total loser. Could he be any more boring???

Rita Lubitsch said...

so puritan...
the p.s. is hilarious!

frostfire said...

The amount of attention given to celebrity relationships boggles the mind. And it does seem that all the attention is on Stewart, with no real ire (so far as I've seen) directed at the married, much older man. With kids. Who was her director.

So much in that combination just seems sleezy. What 40-mumble year old guy really wants to be romantically involved with a 22 year old? Just feels wrong.

It IS really sad that she has to make any sort of public statement about this. But the sad truth of it is, she DOES. Because the only thing that would be worse than being found out, would be to ignore it. It would never go away. And there'd be the "oh, she's denying it, that bitch!" factor on top of it.

Makes me wonder why anybody ever has any desire to get into hollywood in the first place.

Erin said...

The director is the biggest asshole in this thing. I mean, fuck Kristen Stewart, I've never really cared for her movies and I don't like cheaters, but he was the one with an actual wife and kids. Also, when combined with the age difference, the fact that he's the director on her movie and was supposedly in a position of authority makes this creepy and disgusting.

I bet he's done making movies. He potentially messed with the Twilight franchise profits and was basically a nobody to start with. He's going to be kicked to the curb very quickly.

Anonymous said...

I personally dont care about it, it aint my business ,we all fuck up in life she aint the first,I never liked her as an actress though she sucks and she always have a constipated look on her face

Anonymous said...

I'm not a Kristen Stewart fan and am generally appalled by the twilight story line, but my jaw dropped when I heard on the "news" that she was issuing a public apology for cheating on her boyfriend! That is disgusting, since it is no one's business and I'm mad that the "news" made it my business - I don't care and don't need to hear that.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, to those of you who think that a 22 yr old and a 40 yr old together means that someone was taken advantage of - that is not usually the case. As a sexual 22 yr old I can say that we are capable of making our own decisions about sex partners and if anyone is taking advantage of anyone, it is only us taking advantage of ourselves.

OK, that's all. But since I bothered posting for once, I just wanted to say that I love you dorothy (not in a creepy stalker way, though, as it is very hard to stalk someone in California from all the way over in Minnesota)

Megan said...

1. I agree completely.
2. Does this mean I don't have a chance with her???
3. Hello? She totally should have cheated with Charlize instead.
4. What.About.The.Guy???? Yes, what Kristen did was wrong. But wasn't he even MORE wrong? He had a wife and kids!

Finally, I hope this will blow over and we won't have to hear about it any more. Although, if Ms. Snarker would like to feature KStew in Tank Top Tuesday lots and lots, I wouldn't complain.

Erin O'Riordan said...

Fuck the double standard. Whether she's lesbian, straight or bi, no way should one woman take all the flak for something two people decided to do together.

Fuck the ingrained sexism. Fuck this need some women have to drag other women through the mud in a public forum. By all means, feel free to criticize an actor's performances and gossip about her personal life. Don't feel justified in vitriolic, misogynistic personal attacks, though.

Then go download "None of Your Business" by Salt N Pepa and listen until your inner Judgy Betty shuts the fuck up.

cubey said...

Yeesh, I was also bewildered/amused by the shocked tone of the reports. They were like, WHAAAAT??? Young hot girl cheats on hot boy??? IS'T POSSIBLE? I fully expected to see the dramatic gopher gif attached to them.

Yes, sweetie pies at People Mag, young pretty women can be assholes too. Anyway, it's not like they had a family together and she abandoned the kids (movies are fake, people!). Why in hell would she apologize to anyone but Rob?

cubey said...

@awnutts and Megan,
Wait, the director guy has a wife and kids? Why isn't HE apologizing to the world for being a terrible father?

the crustybastard said...

>>>"To be honest, the most “shocking” thing about this whole “scandal” is that KStew chose to cheat with someone from “Snow White & the Huntsman” and didn’t have the good sense to pick Charlize."

Well said and true!

(Which is why you're a standout writer.)

Anonymous said...

You had me at "Oh for fuck's sake". xo Cgrrl

thewineattheendofthetunnel said...

I agree with what Erin O'Riordan said.

This whole thing pisses me off. Now I'm not a huge fan of Kristen's(though I liked her in The Runaways and Adventureland)I just hate the villification that she's getting from the common folks and the media.

The horrible things I've seen some people(including other bloggers/writers, who I have now stopped reading)say about her and the names they've called her.


Listen, I was her age once and I did some really stupid things. I was with someone who was a complete jerk and yeah, I cheated on them. It was a one time thing. So I never buy this "once a cheater, always a cheater" bs that's been going around. I haven't since. And I'm old damnit. I'm not saying cheating is ok, but sometimes when you're a kid(she is still a kid in some respect, especially since she grew up in the business, that isn't easy)you do stupid things. It doesn't mean you're an awful person.

I'm tired of women being made the villain in these situations and the guys get nothing. The(obviously)forced apology? Horrible. She shouldn't have had to do that. I honestly feel bad for her. While yes she's old enough to have known better, the guy is the worst part of this. HE really shouldn't have tried to go after her.

And I don't buy for a second this wasn't a seduction on his part. I think in some way he purposely hurt her, I can't understand why I think that, I just do. I mean this ass is being seen walking around just this week holding hands with his wife. And nobody writes the crap about him they do about her.

I really hope this dies down soon. I hate seeing this girl raked over the coals. No one deserves to be called out and destroyed in public like this for something stupid they did in their personal life.

Dorothy, thank you for this because until I read this today I had lost faith a little in way too many writers I enjoy reading. I just think that sometimes we have to be human and cut someone a little slack and hand out a bit more forgiveness for mistakes.

Jen said...

One more thing:

I've never believed for a second the relationship between Kristen and Rob was real.She always seemed awkward around him.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were best of friends, and the whole moving in thing was a publicity issue while they did their separate thing(I keep hearing rumors now she was his beard. Weird).

I think even his moving out on her is a carefully orchestrated publicity move. Because when a celeb relationship is real, you can usually tell. This one was WAY too private and neither ever looked super happy to be with the other.

(oh and the last post was me as well, just put my URL up incorrectly).