Vacation Vixen: Lena Headey

Honestly, Lena, girl. Same. No scares, only tender hearts this Halloween.

p.s. I hope you Big Hat, Big Matriarch Energy show with Gillian Anderson does well!

Vacation Vixen: Gender Fuck Edition

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Well, I might have started my birthday weekend a little early. But, even if it’s technically my party, I would never leave you without a gift. So here is Lupita Nyong'o in drag for her role in Shakespeare in the Park’s production of Twelfth Night. Happy birthday to you, too, I guess.

Space Lesbians Unite!

Hey, remember back in April when I was like, “Hmm, will this new Space Lesbian Movie (which somehow is its own genre) be any good?” I’m now leaning strongly toward, “Holy, spaceballs, it sure looks like it!” The full trailer for the animated film “Lesbian Space Princess” features the all-too relatable scenario of having to rescue your ex from evil Straight White Maliens! First a “Blue Is the Warmest Color” joke in the teaser and now an “L Word” joke? Beam me up, Space Lesbians!

p.s. This “thespian/lesbian” joke has to be a “Lebanese/lesbian” homage, no?

Tank Top Tuesday: G Flip & Friends Edition

After all these years of writing about G Flip, I guess it’s about time I saw them in real life. Crazy, I know. I’m going to see the Aussie star this weekend for my birthday, which admittedly seems pretty gay. So, you know, it’s perfect. Sheepishly, I’m still not all that familiar with their music. But I am taking a crash course now, starting with watching their “Big Ol’ Hammer” music video. I don’t know how I missed this over the summer, what with its choose your own adventure masc hotties for all wlw tastes. And in tank tops no less. And Fortune Feimster. And the little not-Shane Jacqueline Toboni. And did I mention all the tank tops? I mean, it is Tuesday.

p.s. No, I don’t know if Chrishell will be there. No, I’ve still never watched “Selling Sunset.”

Music Monday: Back to Lilith

I’m still basking in that late 90s Lilith glow. Did you get a chance to watch the Lilith Fair documentary over the weekend? I’ve decided to just revel in the nostalgia a little longer. I can’t tell is this vintage encore performance makes me feel young again or incredibly old. Maybe a little of both. And, honestly, that’s just fine. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes you just need a little nostalgic hopecore to get you through the day. So by all means go wrap yourself in the warm embrace of the late 90s optimism of the female singer-songwriter era. The new Hulu documentary “Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery” is exactly that hopecore. Besides the welcome faces of so many heroes from that time, from the Indigo Girls and Erykah Badu to Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan herself, the film also reminds us of the still revolutionary nature of it all. An all-women music festival? In this economy? Taylor Swift and her opener is one thing. But a whole bill? Now hold on, little ladies. Will it also make you feel a little old and remind you how our cultural history is lost if not specifically passed down to new generations? What do you mean kids today don’t know what Lilith Fair was? Teach the children! Open the schools! Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Forever Diane

News of Diane Keaton’s passing at age 79 earlier this month has filled me with a lingering sense of loss. Not only did I grow up with her on screen, she inspired so many women my age and truly all women by being so endlessly herself. Much like Katharine Hepburn, Diane was an iconoclast for independent women everywhere. She also dressed her entire life outside the traditional male gaze. Her style was for her, and other women. And if the fellas also liked it, well, I mean a few of them have to have good taste, right? There was a time when “Baby Boom” was my favorite movie. She was big-shouldered but relatable and endearing and just herself. Yeah, I know, she never condemned Woody. But I refuse to allow women to face more consequences for the actions of bad men than the bad men themselves. So, thank you Diane. Know you inspired so many of us to find the big-shouldered, big-hearted heroines in all of us. And, forever, love the suits.

Tina, Ina. Ina, Tina

Am I mad at myself that I missed My Fake TV/Film Wife’s Ina Garten season opening episode last weekend and have I already set my DVR (do people still use those? just me?) for its repeat next weekend? And until then will I console myself with these clips of Tina Fey wanting to marry Ina? Yes, I know, but I allow it because what middle-aged woman hasn’t wanted to do that, duh? Talk about your I want to go to there.

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That Good Light

It’s been a bit since I’ve cried about the world – in a good way. But the trailer for the documentary “Comes See Me in the Good Light” about the late genderqueer poet Andrea Gibson achieved exactly that. Happy tears. Or at very least ones only a little tinged in sadness, I mean, what a loss still. I think in this dark moment, we could all use a reminder of the good light. I know I sure do.

Music Monday: Worst Believers

After the massive and heartening No Kings rallies across the country (now, let’s turn that into action at the polls, for mutual aid, for community care), all I want from artists right now is their honest rage. We need modern protest songs. We need Hayley Williams’s “True Believer.” The Paramore frontwoman’s new solo project has started with this searing single that pulls no punches about our fucked up political situation. And, you know, the racism behind it. More of this, anyone with a platform and functioning empathy. More of this. Also, particularly more of this in the face of intentionally milquetoast and entirely complicit people like Fallon. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, this weekend got away from me. And I plan to write more about Diane Keaton soon, because goodness she deserves it. But in the interim, please soak in the joy of the final number from “The First Wives Club,” which honestly stands up. Especially the slam on you-know-who. If only we had remembered. Rest easy, Diane. Thanks for your everything. Happy weekend, all.

Wayward Watch

I;m not entirely sure why I haven’t started “Wayward” yet. I mean it stars Mae Martin as a trans cop in a small town with a pregnant wife. Also, hello, Toni Collette. But maybe it’s the creepy nature (remember what I said about horror yesterday) or the general bleakness of torturing troubled teenagers that I just haven’t yet. But I know, I know – I should. I will.

Spooky Lesbian Season

If there’s a moment when we could all use a queer zombie comedy, it is this moment. Spooky season needs saving when the real world is so – horrible and stupid all at the same time. So, you know, spooky. Even though I’m not a horror person, I do enjoy a well-made genre flick. And I’m curious what Tina Romero can do with such a clearly queer storyline and aesthetic. Yes, I know she is the daughter of horror icon George A. Romero, who practically had a genre named after him. But did he ever cast Katy O’Brian and Margaret Cho? Lesbians and drag queens would definitely make a formidable zombie-fighting force. I’d watch that.

The L in SNL Stand for Lesbian

Leave it to my Fake TV/Film Wife’s Real-LIfe TV/Film Wife to make the SNL sketch of the season. Yes, I know this season has only just begun, but it’s hard to think of a more lesbian sketch than this, so, my statement stands. This also kind of confirms my reasons for not having watching “The Hunting Wives” yet. “It’s like if ‘The L Word’ took place in Yellowstone.” Snort, but also precisely.

I feel like we need to send Amy Poehler a toaster oven for bringing The Aubrey Plaza into that skit. And as a real lesbian, no less!

Also, she deserves a monogrammed toaster oven specifically from me for bringing out Tina Fey not just once but twice.

Hey, SNL, invite more of the show’s female alums back to host. Because when they do, they absolutely kill it. Not that I expected anything less from Amy, even if we’re in the midst of a one-sided TV/FIlm Wife standoff.

Music Monday: Queer Katseye

Yes, I know, I KNOW. This is an commercial. Corporations aren’t our friends. But, damn, if it isn’t catchy. And for the past month it’s been the jeans antidote to that awful Aryan Nation-esque American Eagle abomination from Sydney Sweeney. Also this ad is the only reason I know who KATSEYE is. And because I know who KATSEYE, the multi-cultural K-pop girl group, is I have learned that it includes not one but two out members. They are Lara Raj, who came out in March, and Megan Skiendiel who came out during Pride month. Aw, and their own music is pretty damn catchy too. And, again, not racist. Which can’t be said of the federal government. I mean, they creates a gory telenovela masterpiece where all the women are fighting over Jessica Alba (instead of a stupid man, yay) and a pussy wins at the end. 10/10, no notes as the kids say. I think. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Few films lesbian films are as underrated, or stand up so well, as “Saving Face.” So I’m thrilled that the movie continues to receive well-deserved flowers. The movie celebrated its 20th anniversary (gulp) by being selected for the Criterion Collection and having an all-star reunion with writer-director Alice Wu and stars Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen. I’d like to think Wilhelmina and Vivian are still together, and Viv is still teasing Wil and making her blush on the regular. I guess it’s time for a rewatch. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Drag Bake

We did not get nearly enough of Jessika on this season of Bake Off. Like, truly, we’re been robbed of this delightful drag king’s presence. Also, is being taken out by school bakes bullying? Like no queer kid needs those kinds of memories! Anyway, had she been able to hang on this would have been one of the most drag-positive seasons ever. Truly I hardly recognized Prue Leith. She looks more like Richard Attenborough in Jurassic Park than Richard Attenborough! Oh, Bake Off, think of what you are missing. What if Prue and Jessika had a drag battle? Bake sync for your life!

p.s. But seriously, here is Jessika AS Paul Hollywood! Why would you eliminate this? Why?!

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The Biggest Matriarch Energy

Speaking of TV shows I wish made their female leads gay for each other, how about those first-look pictures of Gillian Anderson and Lena Headey as rival badass matriarchs in “The Abandons?” Remember more than two years ago when I got all excited about the Big Matriarch Energy anticipation at the thought of a face-off between these two? Per the new show’s logline:

Set in Washington Territory in 1854, the series follows the matriarchs of two very different families: one of wealth and privilege, bound by blood; and the other a found family of orphans and outcasts, bound by love and necessity. The families find their fates linked by two crimes, an awful secret, a star-crossed love, and a piece of land with silver underneath. The collision echoes the American struggle of the haves and have-nots, in a place just beyond the reach of justice.

OK, but do they kiss? But, really, now smooch. Please, you were thinking it too. I guess we’ll find out when it premieres Dec. 4 on Netflix.

Tank Top Tuesday: Keeping up with the Jones

Look, it’s Suranne Jones’s turn. Jodie Whittaker wore the tank in my first post about “Frauds.” By the way, my Brit kittens, how is that? I don’t think we stupid Yanks can watch it yet. But more importantly, anything gay? (I know, but we can always dream.)

Music Monday: New Robyn

I put this song on one of my driving playlists this summer and I cannot overstate how much it lifts my mood whenever I’m out and about. Because no matter where I am or what I’ve been doing this song makes me have to move. My feet – when I’m not driving. My hands on the steering wheel when the feet are occupied. And screaming this at the top of your lungs in your car? Highly cathartic. Would recommend. 10/10. No notes. I heard Robyn is coming out with her first new album in seven years soon. Which, honestly, just knowing that makes my serotonin levels go up in anticipation. More joyous car dancing on my own, here I come. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Somehow I missed Melissa Etheridge’s daughter getting married – sorry, let me be more specific, getting gay married – last month. So belated mazel tov to Melissa's eldest daughter, Bailey Jean Cypheridge, and her wife Bailey Jocelyn Simone Rhude who got hitched at a winery in Sonoma in September. The couple wore custom Armani which is super gay and had “100% female and queer vendors” which is even gayer. Oh, and mama Etheridge also performed, making this perhaps the gayest wedding ever. I wish the happy couple endless, overwhelming gayness for the rest of their days. To the brides, and the most lesbian mother-in-law situation ever. Happy weekend, all.

NYC Hacks

I’m so thrilled “Hacks” is coming back and so thrilled “Hacks” is filming in New York City. Why? Because then you get to see Deborah Vance pose with a Sabrett’s cart. And do, well, whatever ridiculous nonsense that Deborah, Ava and company are up to in the concrete jungle.

Also, come on, I know it’s wrong. And I actually don’t even want to see it happen on the show. But, yeah, I ship it. I can’t help it.

p.s. Speaking of inappropriate crushes, I definitely have not overcome my totally age-inappropriate crush on Hannah Einbinder. I mean, after that Emmy acceptance speech, who could not have a crush on her?

Welcome to Spooky, Sparkly Season

I mean, you drop that many original Oz references and you know I’ll have to write about it again. Hello, it’s in the name. I surrender! I thoroughly enjoyed Part One, so expect to also love me some “For Good.” And, of course, it would be even better – and of course gayer – if they actually made it gay. Elphaba and Glinda 4eva. Now that’s how you witch up for October. Friends of Dorothy, indeed.