My Weekend Crush

What should you do when the President of the United States points his stubby little finger at a female reporter just doing her job and says, “Quiet, quiet, piggy” for all the cameras and world to see?

Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.

The Double Cersei

The Smile & Bird

The Smile & Double Bird

The Look Away

The Emmy Worthy

The Oscar Worthy

The Early 2000s

The Billionaires Are So Cringe

The O.G.

So, yeah, fuck that motherfucker. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Tom Cruise Edition

Whew, Thursday almost got away from me. Maybe it was because I kept puzzling over this picture, is it kinda cool or extremely cursed? Or both. All I know if lesbian Tom Cruise (Tig Notaro) and real Tom Cruise together 100% counts as a gender fuck. So, got this one in just under the wire.

Honey, Unfortunately, Don't!

Gosh do I really, really want to like “Honey Don’t!,” the second neo-noir lesbian thriller from the unconventionally married team of Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke. I really, really do. But, honey, I just don’t.

After last year’s “Drive-Away Dolls” was decidedly mid (am I using that right, youths?), I continued to hold out hope that the second installment of the lesbian noir anthology film series would be better. You know, perhaps this could be a whole learn from your mistakes scenario and make a better movie situation. Alas, that would be a no.

In their second installment, they’ve just swapped out the first movie’s known names (Matt Damon! Pedro Pascal! Beanie Feldstein!) for new known names (Aubrey Plaza! Chris Evans! Billy Eichner!) and kept Margaret Qualley as their lead/muse.

I will say, I like Qualley’s acting better in this film. She never read authentically queer to me in “Drive-Away Dolls” and that accent – yeah, don’t even get me started. So I believe her queerness a little more here, though that’s probably because Aubrey has chemistry with every female co-star ever.

Both films have tried to blend irreverent, screwball humor with edgier, rampant violence to mixed effect. “Honey Don’t!” seemingly has some things to say about patriarchal power structures and the sexual exploitation of women therein. But it can’t help blowing it all up with a “shocking” third act. [Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to read spoilers.]

SPOILERS: … Yes, they really made Aubrey’s lesbian cop character the killer, and a pretty psychotic one at that. The final showdown scene is fairly horrific/nightmare fuel. Even their earlier bar scene (which, hello, among the straights like that?) and their hookups can’t erase those images. I’ll never look at my tea kettle the same again. /END SPOILERS

Despite my disappointment, I know I’ll end up watching whatever third installment they eventually release. Because, well, I’m a sucker and also as I’ve said I really, really want to like this lesbian noir trilogy. Fool me three times, shame on you, me and the universe I guess.

Do Call Me Shirley

Earlier this month, when British actress Pauline Collins passed away, her obituaries noted her breakout role in “Shirley Valentine.” The role, which she originated on stage before taking to the screen, earned Pauline an Oscar nomination and Tony, Olivier and BAFTA awards. But what it really did was solidify the still-radical-in-1989 idea that middle-class housewives should be allowed to have dreams beyond domestic servitude. Yet, here we are 36 years later, and a whole genre of men (you know the type, they run our federal government now) are out there saying, out loud, that wouldn’t women just be happier if they were back in the home again? But it was true in 1989 as it is true in 2025, women contain multitudes. And if they want to fuck off to Greece at a moment’s notice, they should absolutely fuck off to Greece. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Thanks for the reminder, Shirley. Rest in power, Pauline.

Music Monday: Truest Colors

I missed the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductions from a couple weekends ago. Yes, yes – I know I can probably stream it somewhere. But why go through all that effort when the algorithm keeps feeding me clips of my favorite inductee (no shade, love you too Salt-N-Pepa) this year, Cyndi Lauper, being, you know, amazing. Even in this bootleg, blurry live recording (I can't find an official full-length one), you can feel her power. Be the light. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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It has been another long week in this the Year of our Misery 2025. So, you deserve this. We also deserve this. But, even if it's just a tease, we still deserve nice things. And Padma in whatever this trench coat superhero bustier getup is is a very good thing. (Scroll through all the delightful/droolful slides.) With, or without, Melissa. Also, come on, Padma would want a book-based superpower? She is totally wasted on straight men, period. Happy weekend, all.

Casa of Our Own

Gender Fuck Thursday: Casa Susanna

Well, I don’t know how I missed this when it came out two years ago. But, goodness, what a reminder that our community has always come together to find safety and solidarity. As our trans family comes under relentless attack from Trump and the GOP (who are, in essence, legislating them out of existence), we must provide that safety and solidarity for them whenever we can. You can watch the full PBS documentary about the 50s-60s haven Casa Susanna in the Catskills on PBS Passport or for free on Youtube. I plan to give it a watch this weekend as inspiration for our continued fight for progress, equality and places where we can simply be ourselves. What a fucking concept.

Padma & the King

As someone who has a long track record of loving both food shows, Top Chef and Padma Lakshmi, I feel like this gossip cycle was made specifically for me. Like, do I think former Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi and former Top Chef winner Melissa King are dating? No. Do I think they definitely know what they’re doing? Yes. Do I love it anyway and will I consume every last drop of delicious drop of sapphic teasing? You’d better believe it.

Yes, yes, – I like I know just last summer I had posted about Melissa hard launching with fellow chef Nini Nguyen. Like, are we misinterpreting everyone’s couple launch Insta posts or do people need to stop being being so intentionally vague?

Anyway, rumors started to swirl after Padma and Melissa won Halloween after dressing up as Morticia and Gomez Addams. Like, name a better looking couple? You can’t.

And then this weekend they kept the rumors rumoring by posting about Padma’s “gay nails.” Melissa is not wrong. That is a very lesbian nail situation Padma has going on.

Look, in the end it doesn’t matter if these two are just friends or very good friends or roommates or whatever. What matters is two hot people are making food and taking sexy pictures together. And, during these dark times, I’ll take any light we can get. Carry on, ladies, with your whatever.

Hats Off, Ladies!

And now, the trailer. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first read about “The Abandons.” I had hoped the series would fully utilize its amazing female superstars to their fullest abilities. I mean, Lena Headey and Gillian Anderson facing off as matriarchs of rival clans? Yes, please. But I had also sort of resigned myself (because, in the Year of Our Misery 2025, you always brace for disappointment) to them being used somewhat sparsely. Or separately. Like, how many face-offs could they have? Turns out, so many! All of them! Constantly! Lena and Gillian are basically snarling at each other in every other scene! And in big-ass hats no less! Good news two Tuesdays in a row? Please, a gal could get used to this.

Music Monday: More Lunch, Less Billionaires

More Billie? Why don’t mind if I do. After her billionaire call out, and in general just because she’s the coolest, here’s an encore of “Lunch” that is essentially just her dancing around on a cloud to a song she wrote about eating out women. Yeah, the world is on fire. But this, this song is also fire. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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This. THHHHHIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS. I want a lot more, “Ew, billionaires,” from a lot more people in this era of obscene wealth hoarding. So here’s to the Hannah Einbinders and Hayley Williamses and Billie Eilishes of the world who are saying what needs to be said in these dark times for so many. That the few (i.e. the Billionaire Class and their enablers) can continue to rule over the lives of the many continues to be the biggest con of our society. So, thanks, Billie for not letting a chance to call out Mark Zuckerberg (who was in the audience when she picked up the WSJ’s Music Innovator award last week) in person pass. Why are you a billionaire is a truly excellent questions. Eat the rich, is all I’m saying. And, given this week’s election results, I’m clearly not the only one. Happy weekend, all.

Hope Is Other People

Yesterday’s doomed post, while of course fun and unfortunately endlessly topical, belies how I actually am feeling this week. Sorry, let me correct that, how I’ve been feeling since late Tuesday night. Like many of you, this whole year has been a slow-moving (and at times, shockingly fast-moving – oh, East Wing, we miss you) disaster. So it’s been hard to find hope. Still, the Election Day results represent a clear repudiation of the unlawful cruelty (and, might I add, rampant stupidity) of the Orange Stain’s second term. And while it of course has not completely solved our Sartre problem, it at least is a reminder that not everyone is awful. Good things can still happen.

I’ve long said Trump wins by overwhelming us with terrible, awful, no good things so that it’s hard to focus on what matters. The truth is, all of it matters. But none of that will matter if we can’t fight off fascism and defend democracy. Period. Full stop.

How we get there, whether through more progressive candidates or more moderate candidates or whatever kind of candidate, is kind of immaterial. It’s that, as AOC says so succinctly here, we are all fighting the same fight. Democrats, progressives, liberals and even centrists of all stripes have one assignment right now. Fight like fucking hell. Yeah, we’re sad and we’re mad and we’re scared. But we are not afraid. May we keep electing fighters who speak for their communities everywhere. And we will remember everyone who bent the knee, especially those with the most already who were more than happy to comply in advance. Fight. Win. Repeat.

p.s. If you want a little more of that hopey-changey feeling, might I suggest Zohran Mamdani’s full victory speech. And, trust me, be sure to turn the volume up.

Doomed Together

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Hey, wanna feel doomed with me on a Wednesday but kinda in a good way? I mean, as good as us doomed can feel these days? Well then check out Kate McKinnon and Amy Poehler on Amy’s Good Hang podcast. I’m not really a podcast person, because goodness don’t we yap enough at each other as humans? But I do always enjoy the little clips I get fed by the algorithmic gods of attention from Amy’s interviews. And each interview with Kate makes me appreciate this rare and fascinating creature (homesteader, but again, in a nice way) who gifted us with a peek into her unique mind for 10 years on SNL. Whenever she has reemerged since has been an utter delight. And, if you are one of those I-love-to-watch-a-good-yap people, please enjoy Amy and Kate’s full hour-long yap here. Happy We’re Doomed, Wednesday, kittens!

Shoulda, Woulda, Hedda

Right, as I was saying, who has a Prime account and wants to invite me over to watch “Hedda?” The Tessa Thompson-starring adaptation of the Henrik Ibsen about a charismatic chaos agent gender-flips the past love. See how Tessa manipulates/bullies the marvelous Nina Hoss (also Cate Blanchett’s wife in Tár) with such ease. The film has received raves, but darnit if I still don’t want to give Jeff Bezos more of my money. So, as I was saying, who wants to invite me over?

Vacation Vixen: A King, A Queen & A Hack

I’m generally against throuples (yes, of course, do you – I mean for me). But this throuple, this throuple I’m not against. For me or them. What, the world’s on fire. Why not?

Vacation Vixen: Lena Headey

Honestly, Lena, girl. Same. No scares, only tender hearts this Halloween.

p.s. I hope you Big Hat, Big Matriarch Energy show with Gillian Anderson does well!

Vacation Vixen: Gender Fuck Edition

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Well, I might have started my birthday weekend a little early. But, even if it’s technically my party, I would never leave you without a gift. So here is Lupita Nyong'o in drag for her role in Shakespeare in the Park’s production of Twelfth Night. Happy birthday to you, too, I guess.

Space Lesbians Unite!

Hey, remember back in April when I was like, “Hmm, will this new Space Lesbian Movie (which somehow is its own genre) be any good?” I’m now leaning strongly toward, “Holy, spaceballs, it sure looks like it!” The full trailer for the animated film “Lesbian Space Princess” features the all-too relatable scenario of having to rescue your ex from evil Straight White Maliens! First a “Blue Is the Warmest Color” joke in the teaser and now an “L Word” joke? Beam me up, Space Lesbians!

p.s. This “thespian/lesbian” joke has to be a “Lebanese/lesbian” homage, no?

Tank Top Tuesday: G Flip & Friends Edition

After all these years of writing about G Flip, I guess it’s about time I saw them in real life. Crazy, I know. I’m going to see the Aussie star this weekend for my birthday, which admittedly seems pretty gay. So, you know, it’s perfect. Sheepishly, I’m still not all that familiar with their music. But I am taking a crash course now, starting with watching their “Big Ol’ Hammer” music video. I don’t know how I missed this over the summer, what with its choose your own adventure masc hotties for all wlw tastes. And in tank tops no less. And Fortune Feimster. And the little not-Shane Jacqueline Toboni. And did I mention all the tank tops? I mean, it is Tuesday.

p.s. No, I don’t know if Chrishell will be there. No, I’ve still never watched “Selling Sunset.”

Music Monday: Back to Lilith

I’m still basking in that late 90s Lilith glow. Did you get a chance to watch the Lilith Fair documentary over the weekend? I’ve decided to just revel in the nostalgia a little longer. I can’t tell is this vintage encore performance makes me feel young again or incredibly old. Maybe a little of both. And, honestly, that’s just fine. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes you just need a little nostalgic hopecore to get you through the day. So by all means go wrap yourself in the warm embrace of the late 90s optimism of the female singer-songwriter era. The new Hulu documentary “Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery” is exactly that hopecore. Besides the welcome faces of so many heroes from that time, from the Indigo Girls and Erykah Badu to Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan herself, the film also reminds us of the still revolutionary nature of it all. An all-women music festival? In this economy? Taylor Swift and her opener is one thing. But a whole bill? Now hold on, little ladies. Will it also make you feel a little old and remind you how our cultural history is lost if not specifically passed down to new generations? What do you mean kids today don’t know what Lilith Fair was? Teach the children! Open the schools! Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Forever Diane

News of Diane Keaton’s passing at age 79 earlier this month has filled me with a lingering sense of loss. Not only did I grow up with her on screen, she inspired so many women my age and truly all women by being so endlessly herself. Much like Katharine Hepburn, Diane was an iconoclast for independent women everywhere. She also dressed her entire life outside the traditional male gaze. Her style was for her, and other women. And if the fellas also liked it, well, I mean a few of them have to have good taste, right? There was a time when “Baby Boom” was my favorite movie. She was big-shouldered but relatable and endearing and just herself. Yeah, I know, she never condemned Woody. But I refuse to allow women to face more consequences for the actions of bad men than the bad men themselves. So, thank you Diane. Know you inspired so many of us to find the big-shouldered, big-hearted heroines in all of us. And, forever, love the suits.

Tina, Ina. Ina, Tina

Am I mad at myself that I missed My Fake TV/Film Wife’s Ina Garten season opening episode last weekend and have I already set my DVR (do people still use those? just me?) for its repeat next weekend? And until then will I console myself with these clips of Tina Fey wanting to marry Ina? Yes, I know, but I allow it because what middle-aged woman hasn’t wanted to do that, duh? Talk about your I want to go to there.

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That Good Light

It’s been a bit since I’ve cried about the world – in a good way. But the trailer for the documentary “Comes See Me in the Good Light” about the late genderqueer poet Andrea Gibson achieved exactly that. Happy tears. Or at very least ones only a little tinged in sadness, I mean, what a loss still. I think in this dark moment, we could all use a reminder of the good light. I know I sure do.

Music Monday: Worst Believers

After the massive and heartening No Kings rallies across the country (now, let’s turn that into action at the polls, for mutual aid, for community care), all I want from artists right now is their honest rage. We need modern protest songs. We need Hayley Williams’s “True Believer.” The Paramore frontwoman’s new solo project has started with this searing single that pulls no punches about our fucked up political situation. And, you know, the racism behind it. More of this, anyone with a platform and functioning empathy. More of this. Also, particularly more of this in the face of intentionally milquetoast and entirely complicit people like Fallon. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, this weekend got away from me. And I plan to write more about Diane Keaton soon, because goodness she deserves it. But in the interim, please soak in the joy of the final number from “The First Wives Club,” which honestly stands up. Especially the slam on you-know-who. If only we had remembered. Rest easy, Diane. Thanks for your everything. Happy weekend, all.

Wayward Watch

I;m not entirely sure why I haven’t started “Wayward” yet. I mean it stars Mae Martin as a trans cop in a small town with a pregnant wife. Also, hello, Toni Collette. But maybe it’s the creepy nature (remember what I said about horror yesterday) or the general bleakness of torturing troubled teenagers that I just haven’t yet. But I know, I know – I should. I will.

Spooky Lesbian Season

If there’s a moment when we could all use a queer zombie comedy, it is this moment. Spooky season needs saving when the real world is so – horrible and stupid all at the same time. So, you know, spooky. Even though I’m not a horror person, I do enjoy a well-made genre flick. And I’m curious what Tina Romero can do with such a clearly queer storyline and aesthetic. Yes, I know she is the daughter of horror icon George A. Romero, who practically had a genre named after him. But did he ever cast Katy O’Brian and Margaret Cho? Lesbians and drag queens would definitely make a formidable zombie-fighting force. I’d watch that.

The L in SNL Stand for Lesbian

Leave it to my Fake TV/Film Wife’s Real-LIfe TV/Film Wife to make the SNL sketch of the season. Yes, I know this season has only just begun, but it’s hard to think of a more lesbian sketch than this, so, my statement stands. This also kind of confirms my reasons for not having watching “The Hunting Wives” yet. “It’s like if ‘The L Word’ took place in Yellowstone.” Snort, but also precisely.

I feel like we need to send Amy Poehler a toaster oven for bringing The Aubrey Plaza into that skit. And as a real lesbian, no less!

Also, she deserves a monogrammed toaster oven specifically from me for bringing out Tina Fey not just once but twice.

Hey, SNL, invite more of the show’s female alums back to host. Because when they do, they absolutely kill it. Not that I expected anything less from Amy, even if we’re in the midst of a one-sided TV/FIlm Wife standoff.

Music Monday: Queer Katseye

Yes, I know, I KNOW. This is an commercial. Corporations aren’t our friends. But, damn, if it isn’t catchy. And for the past month it’s been the jeans antidote to that awful Aryan Nation-esque American Eagle abomination from Sydney Sweeney. Also this ad is the only reason I know who KATSEYE is. And because I know who KATSEYE, the multi-cultural K-pop girl group, is I have learned that it includes not one but two out members. They are Lara Raj, who came out in March, and Megan Skiendiel who came out during Pride month. Aw, and their own music is pretty damn catchy too. And, again, not racist. Which can’t be said of the federal government. I mean, they creates a gory telenovela masterpiece where all the women are fighting over Jessica Alba (instead of a stupid man, yay) and a pussy wins at the end. 10/10, no notes as the kids say. I think. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Few films lesbian films are as underrated, or stand up so well, as “Saving Face.” So I’m thrilled that the movie continues to receive well-deserved flowers. The movie celebrated its 20th anniversary (gulp) by being selected for the Criterion Collection and having an all-star reunion with writer-director Alice Wu and stars Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen. I’d like to think Wilhelmina and Vivian are still together, and Viv is still teasing Wil and making her blush on the regular. I guess it’s time for a rewatch. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Drag Bake

We did not get nearly enough of Jessika on this season of Bake Off. Like, truly, we’re been robbed of this delightful drag king’s presence. Also, is being taken out by school bakes bullying? Like no queer kid needs those kinds of memories! Anyway, had she been able to hang on this would have been one of the most drag-positive seasons ever. Truly I hardly recognized Prue Leith. She looks more like Richard Attenborough in Jurassic Park than Richard Attenborough! Oh, Bake Off, think of what you are missing. What if Prue and Jessika had a drag battle? Bake sync for your life!

p.s. But seriously, here is Jessika AS Paul Hollywood! Why would you eliminate this? Why?!

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The Biggest Matriarch Energy

Speaking of TV shows I wish made their female leads gay for each other, how about those first-look pictures of Gillian Anderson and Lena Headey as rival badass matriarchs in “The Abandons?” Remember more than two years ago when I got all excited about the Big Matriarch Energy anticipation at the thought of a face-off between these two? Per the new show’s logline:

Set in Washington Territory in 1854, the series follows the matriarchs of two very different families: one of wealth and privilege, bound by blood; and the other a found family of orphans and outcasts, bound by love and necessity. The families find their fates linked by two crimes, an awful secret, a star-crossed love, and a piece of land with silver underneath. The collision echoes the American struggle of the haves and have-nots, in a place just beyond the reach of justice.

OK, but do they kiss? But, really, now smooch. Please, you were thinking it too. I guess we’ll find out when it premieres Dec. 4 on Netflix.

Tank Top Tuesday: Keeping up with the Jones

Look, it’s Suranne Jones’s turn. Jodie Whittaker wore the tank in my first post about “Frauds.” By the way, my Brit kittens, how is that? I don’t think we stupid Yanks can watch it yet. But more importantly, anything gay? (I know, but we can always dream.)