‘Twas the night before the night before Carol Aird Day, and all through the house, all the lesbians were “forgetting” their gloves because, well, anything to avoid going on the apps. Ah, yes, Dec. 21, that most sacred of lesbian holidays. This year even falls on a Sunday, like the original day did. We are truly blessed. Don we now our gay apparel? Don’t mind if I do. Happy weekend and Carold Aird Day, all.
Per the new season description, we’re getting even sweatier mayhem this time. As long as it’s still uber gay, I can’t wait.
“Forget Tassie Noir - Deadloch is entering its Tropical Gothic era. Detectives Dulcie Collins (Kate Box) and Eddie Redcliffe (Madeleine Sami) are in Australia’s sweltering Top End, aka the Northern Territory, investigating the death of Eddie’s former policing partner, Bushy. But when the body of a local icon is discovered in a remote town, they are flung into a sweatier, stickier, croc-ier crime case.Chafing! Tevas! Bad fashion sense on straight women who look gay! A lead actress whose last name is "Box!" Yes, they love us lesbians. They really do. OK, but they could hurry up. Because they finished filming this time last year. Bring on the Dead(loch).Closer to South Asia than to Australia's capital city, our hero town of Barra Creek is a vast departure from Season One’s icy Tasmanian setting. From verdant tropical canopies, red dirt roads that disappear into the horizon, glassy waterways that house 65-million-year-old predators, and sunsets so breathtakingly beautiful that they literally command a standing ovation every night, the Northern Territory’s awe-inspiring landscape and weather shape this season’s look and feel. The heat and humidity are enough to send our detectives into a frenzy, or at least leave them with some horrific chafing.”
First up is “The Christmas Baby” starring “Bomb Girls” star and Hallmark’s resident lesbian Ali Liebert and half of Wynonna Earp’s WayHaught Katherine Barrell. They play a couple who finds, you guessed it, a baby during the holidays. Like it just shows up, poof. Talk about your immaculate birth. Well, at least it avoids the pregnant lesbian trope. “The Christmas Baby” airs at 8 p.m. Sunday on Hallmark Channel.
Next up, at least for our Canadian friends, is “The Firefighter’s Christmas Calendar” (formerly “The Firefighter’s Christmas Wish,” but after watching that trailer “Calendar” does make more sense…). The premise, a queer female photographer goes to shoot a sexy firefighter Christmas calendar and runs into a sexy also queer female firefighter. That old chestnut! But seriously, I will be watching this. Well, I would be at 8 p.m. Sunday on W Wetwork – if I lived in Canada. The project was first announced for Lifetime, but no U.S. air date is scheduled yet. But trust me, if I find out, I’ll tell you. Or, better yet, find a Canadian friend – and invite me!
OK, so feeling a little more festive? I know If we can’t be merry, at least we can be gay.
Honestly, I don’t know what to say about the death of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele Singer Reiner. Police have arrested his 32-year-old son for their murders, and well, anyone with a functioning sense of empathy (i.e. not our POS POTUS – even though Michelle shot the cover photo for “Art of the Deal”!) can understand that their family and friends deserve grace right now.
I just want to thank the universe for giving us someone who could direct among the greatest mockumentaries (This Is Spinal Tap,” 1984), the greatest coming-of-age stories (“Stand By Me,” 1986), the greatest fairy tales (“The Princess Bride,” 1987), the greatest rom-coms (“When Harry Met Sally…,” 1989), the greatest horror thrillers (“Misery,” 1990) and greatest courtroom dramas (“A Few Good Men,” 1992) in the span of under a decade. These movies all came out in my most formative of years, and I can recite lines verbatim from all of them. I may know all of “The Princess Bride” by heart, but then what Gen Xer doesn’t.
That, my friends, would been enough of a legacy on its own. But that he was also universally celebrated as a true mensch, a good egg, a political powerhouse and champion of LGBTQ+ causes (especially marriage equality) makes him something even more important. A good human who so many will miss. Thanks for the movies, sir. May you and your wife rest in power, and may all of us celebrate your life and work for as long as people tell stories to one another that matter.
I have been a Raye fan since, well, since “Escapism” came out right around the time my marriage broke up and it made me feel a little better about how I was handling everything. But, seriously, I remember thinking who is that? Who indeed. The Ghanaian-Swiss British singer is a consistent scene stealer. Remember her at those stacked Grammys earlier this year? I only didn’t mention her at the time because her music is so aggressively straight. You know, like her new hit, “Where is My Husband?” But, honestly, I don’t mind the heterosexuality. Because, kind of like Sabrina, it’s all about how terrible it is to have to date men. And that part feels deeply relatable. Poor straight ladies. Anyway, Raye has what i believe they call pipes and the whole retro glam soul thing she’s got going on is immaculate. I especially love when she wraps the mic cord around her neck like an old-school lounge singer. Anyway, please enjoy this certified banger with the grateful knowledge that sapphics like us don’t have to worry about where our husbands are – ever. Happy Monday, kittens.
Sabrina Carpenter may be short n’ sweet, but she knows an evil administration when she sees one. The most heterosexual of all the pop superstars (much to her own obvious chagrin, bless her heart) wasted no words calling out an ICE video using her music last week.
She replied to the now deleted ICE video using one of her songs:
“this video is evil and disgusting. Do not ever involve me or my music to benefit your inhumane agenda.”Also, they were using her song “Juno” which, wtf, it’s about being so hot for someone you’ll let them get you pregnant! So they’re evil, disgusting, inhumane and also too stupid to understand song lyrics. We really are living in the most simultaneously evil and idiotic timeline in history.
Anyway, let’s have more musical superstars doing what we all should be doing right now – raging against the machine, calling out billionaires and lambasting this evil administration. Thanks, Sabrina. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. And, hell yeah, she brought drag performers and trans rights protest signs to the VMAs this year too.
Do I know exactly what’s happening in this trailer for Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut “The Chronology of Water”? No, no, I do not. I know it is based on the memoir by Lidia Yuknavitch. And, there’s clearly swimming and also abuse and – wait – is that Jim Belushi? Yes, I checked, that is indeed Jim Belushi as Ken Kesey. If nothing else, I think this will be interesting. And, like I’ve said many times before, I appreciate that K-Stew has a singular artistic vision and pursues projects based on it instead of box office. Yes, of course, she already had her own blockbuster franchise, but she is so clearly never chasing another one. And good for her. Truly, very good for her.
May-December with The Joan Chen? From “Twin Peaks” to “Wild Side” to “Saving Face” and the new “The Wedding Banquet,” Joan has made queer allyship a tenet of her performances. So, hell yeah I’m excited to see her play gay again. And this scene with the glass of water? Come on, that’s some iconic Mother shit.
And she credits the LGBTQ+ community with some of Aunt Gladys’s success. She told The Hollywood Reporter:
“As you very well know, the gay community has really taken to Gladys. That’s really great — especially in this framework of the demonization of anybody other than a cis person — for the trans community. I think they really appreciate Gladys’ drag and makeup and how confident she is. So that’s a really nice cherry on top of all this.”And she looks amazing in a suit to boot. Yeah, it’s good when good things happen good people. Remember that?
Well, well, well. Now if this isn’t something, at long last last, to live to the spring for. Did that sound dark? Just you wait, you’ll feel a whole different kind of dark once you watch this. The trailer for “Mother Mary,” the Anne Hathaway/Michaela Coel “psychosexual pop thriller” about a pop star and her estranged former fashion designer lover, is finally here. And when I say finally, I mean a more than two and a half year wait. I have to say, I was surprised and mostly in a good way. No, I wasn’t expecting the glimpses of supernatural darkness and body gore, if that indeed is what we are seeing here. But I love the over-the-top “epic pop melodrama” operaticness of these clips. And the chemistry between Anne and Michaela, well, it’s good. I’d like to see a little more good chemistry between their lips. But, you know, I guess they have to save some stuff for the movie. My only worry, well, as the trailer says – I don’t know if they’re both gonna make it. But, goodness, will I be rooting for them.
Welcome to December. We’ve almost made it out of 2025. Just three more years, eh? I wish I had many things this Christmas season – a non-racist, misogynistic, corrupt, felonious, rapist and all-around evil president would be one thing. And also the full-length version of Sarah McLachlan and Kelly Clarkson singing “River” would be another. Look, I didn’t say all the wishes were equal in priority. But, you know, while we’re wishing. Happy Monday, kittens.
I will have more, a lot more, to say about the utterly lovely “Come See Me In the Good Light,” the documentary about poet Andrea Gibson’s life with their wife Megan Falley and incurable cancer. And the movie’s theme, “Salt Then Sour Then Sweet,” from Sara Bareilles and Brandi Carlile will burrow into your heart like any good poem does. And there’s a good reason for it, because it’s an unfinished love poem from Andrea to their wife. But the lyrics we see flashing over the screen, that’s Meg’s handwriting. Love truly is the reason for it all, isn’t it? Happy Monday, kittens.
Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.
The Double Cersei
Gosh do I really, really want to like “Honey Don’t!,” the second neo-noir lesbian thriller from the unconventionally married team of Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke. I really, really do. But, honey, I just don’t.
After last year’s “Drive-Away Dolls” was decidedly mid (am I using that right, youths?), I continued to hold out hope that the second installment of the lesbian noir anthology film series would be better. You know, perhaps this could be a whole learn from your mistakes scenario and make a better movie situation. Alas, that would be a no.
In their second installment, they’ve just swapped out the first movie’s known names (Matt Damon! Pedro Pascal! Beanie Feldstein!) for new known names (Aubrey Plaza! Chris Evans! Billy Eichner!) and kept Margaret Qualley as their lead/muse.
I will say, I like Qualley’s acting better in this film. She never read authentically queer to me in “Drive-Away Dolls” and that accent – yeah, don’t even get me started. So I believe her queerness a little more here, though that’s probably because Aubrey has chemistry with every female co-star ever.
Both films have tried to blend irreverent, screwball humor with edgier, rampant violence to mixed effect. “Honey Don’t!” seemingly has some things to say about patriarchal power structures and the sexual exploitation of women therein. But it can’t help blowing it all up with a “shocking” third act. [Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to read spoilers.]
SPOILERS: … Yes, they really made Aubrey’s lesbian cop character the killer, and a pretty psychotic one at that. The final showdown scene is fairly horrific/nightmare fuel. Even their earlier bar scene (which, hello, among the straights like that?) and their hookups can’t erase those images. I’ll never look at my tea kettle the same again. /END SPOILERS
Despite my disappointment, I know I’ll end up watching whatever third installment they eventually release. Because, well, I’m a sucker and also as I’ve said I really, really want to like this lesbian noir trilogy. Fool me three times, shame on you, me and the universe I guess.
Earlier this month, when British actress Pauline Collins passed away, her obituaries noted her breakout role in “Shirley Valentine.” The role, which she originated on stage before taking to the screen, earned Pauline an Oscar nomination and Tony, Olivier and BAFTA awards. But what it really did was solidify the still-radical-in-1989 idea that middle-class housewives should be allowed to have dreams beyond domestic servitude. Yet, here we are 36 years later, and a whole genre of men (you know the type, they run our federal government now) are out there saying, out loud, that wouldn’t women just be happier if they were back in the home again? But it was true in 1989 as it is true in 2025, women contain multitudes. And if they want to fuck off to Greece at a moment’s notice, they should absolutely fuck off to Greece. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Thanks for the reminder, Shirley. Rest in power, Pauline.
I missed the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductions from a couple weekends ago. Yes, yes – I know I can probably stream it somewhere. But why go through all that effort when the algorithm keeps feeding me clips of my favorite inductee (no shade, love you too Salt-N-Pepa) this year, Cyndi Lauper, being, you know, amazing. Even in this bootleg, blurry live recording (I can't find an official full-length one), you can feel her power. Be the light. Happy Monday, kittens.
It has been another long week in this the Year of our Misery 2025. So, you deserve this. We also deserve this. But, even if it's just a tease, we still deserve nice things. And Padma in whatever this trench coat superhero bustier getup is is a very good thing. (Scroll through all the delightful/droolful slides.) With, or without, Melissa. Also, come on, Padma would want a book-based superpower? She is totally wasted on straight men, period. Happy weekend, all.
Well, I don’t know how I missed this when it came out two years ago. But, goodness, what a reminder that our community has always come together to find safety and solidarity. As our trans family comes under relentless attack from Trump and the GOP (who are, in essence, legislating them out of existence), we must provide that safety and solidarity for them whenever we can. You can watch the full PBS documentary about the 50s-60s haven Casa Susanna in the Catskills on PBS Passport or for free on Youtube. I plan to give it a watch this weekend as inspiration for our continued fight for progress, equality and places where we can simply be ourselves. What a fucking concept.
Yes, yes, – I like I know just last summer I had posted about Melissa hard launching with fellow chef Nini Nguyen. Like, are we misinterpreting everyone’s couple launch Insta posts or do people need to stop being being so intentionally vague?
And then this weekend they kept the rumors rumoring by posting about Padma’s “gay nails.” Melissa is not wrong. That is a very lesbian nail situation Padma has going on.
And now, the trailer. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first read about “The Abandons.” I had hoped the series would fully utilize its amazing female superstars to their fullest abilities. I mean, Lena Headey and Gillian Anderson facing off as matriarchs of rival clans? Yes, please. But I had also sort of resigned myself (because, in the Year of Our Misery 2025, you always brace for disappointment) to them being used somewhat sparsely. Or separately. Like, how many face-offs could they have? Turns out, so many! All of them! Constantly! Lena and Gillian are basically snarling at each other in every other scene! And in big-ass hats no less! Good news two Tuesdays in a row? Please, a gal could get used to this.
More Billie? Why don’t mind if I do. After her billionaire call out, and in general just because she’s the coolest, here’s an encore of “Lunch” that is essentially just her dancing around on a cloud to a song she wrote about eating out women. Yeah, the world is on fire. But this, this song is also fire. Happy Monday, kittens.
This. THHHHHIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS. I want a lot more, “Ew, billionaires,” from a lot more people in this era of obscene wealth hoarding. So here’s to the Hannah Einbinders and Hayley Williamses and Billie Eilishes of the world who are saying what needs to be said in these dark times for so many. That the few (i.e. the Billionaire Class and their enablers) can continue to rule over the lives of the many continues to be the biggest con of our society. So, thanks, Billie for not letting a chance to call out Mark Zuckerberg (who was in the audience when she picked up the WSJ’s Music Innovator award last week) in person pass. Why are you a billionaire is a truly excellent questions. Eat the rich, is all I’m saying. And, given this week’s election results, I’m clearly not the only one. Happy weekend, all.
Yesterday’s doomed post, while of course fun and unfortunately endlessly topical, belies how I actually am feeling this week. Sorry, let me correct that, how I’ve been feeling since late Tuesday night. Like many of you, this whole year has been a slow-moving (and at times, shockingly fast-moving – oh, East Wing, we miss you) disaster. So it’s been hard to find hope. Still, the Election Day results represent a clear repudiation of the unlawful cruelty (and, might I add, rampant stupidity) of the Orange Stain’s second term. And while it of course has not completely solved our Sartre problem, it at least is a reminder that not everyone is awful. Good things can still happen.
I’ve long said Trump wins by overwhelming us with terrible, awful, no good things so that it’s hard to focus on what matters. The truth is, all of it matters. But none of that will matter if we can’t fight off fascism and defend democracy. Period. Full stop.
How we get there, whether through more progressive candidates or more moderate candidates or whatever kind of candidate, is kind of immaterial. It’s that, as AOC says so succinctly here, we are all fighting the same fight. Democrats, progressives, liberals and even centrists of all stripes have one assignment right now. Fight like fucking hell. Yeah, we’re sad and we’re mad and we’re scared. But we are not afraid. May we keep electing fighters who speak for their communities everywhere. And we will remember everyone who bent the knee, especially those with the most already who were more than happy to comply in advance. Fight. Win. Repeat.
p.s. If you want a little more of that hopey-changey feeling, might I suggest Zohran Mamdani’s full victory speech. And, trust me, be sure to turn the volume up.
Hey, wanna feel doomed with me on a Wednesday but kinda in a good way? I mean, as good as us doomed can feel these days? Well then check out Kate McKinnon and Amy Poehler on Amy’s Good Hang podcast. I’m not really a podcast person, because goodness don’t we yap enough at each other as humans? But I do always enjoy the little clips I get fed by the algorithmic gods of attention from Amy’s interviews. And each interview with Kate makes me appreciate this rare and fascinating creature (homesteader, but again, in a nice way) who gifted us with a peek into her unique mind for 10 years on SNL. Whenever she has reemerged since has been an utter delight. And, if you are one of those I-love-to-watch-a-good-yap people, please enjoy Amy and Kate’s full hour-long yap here. Happy We’re Doomed, Wednesday, kittens!
Right, as I was saying, who has a Prime account and wants to invite me over to watch “Hedda?” The Tessa Thompson-starring adaptation of the Henrik Ibsen about a charismatic chaos agent gender-flips the past love. See how Tessa manipulates/bullies the marvelous Nina Hoss (also Cate Blanchett’s wife in Tár) with such ease. The film has received raves, but darnit if I still don’t want to give Jeff Bezos more of my money. So, as I was saying, who wants to invite me over?
p.s. I hope you Big Hat, Big Matriarch Energy show with Gillian Anderson does well!
Well, I might have started my birthday weekend a little early. But, even if it’s technically my party, I would never leave you without a gift. So here is Lupita Nyong'o in drag for her role in Shakespeare in the Park’s production of Twelfth Night. Happy birthday to you, too, I guess.
Hey, remember back in April when I was like, “Hmm, will this new Space Lesbian Movie (which somehow is its own genre) be any good?” I’m now leaning strongly toward, “Holy, spaceballs, it sure looks like it!” The full trailer for the animated film “Lesbian Space Princess” features the all-too relatable scenario of having to rescue your ex from evil Straight White Maliens! First a “Blue Is the Warmest Color” joke in the teaser and now an “L Word” joke? Beam me up, Space Lesbians!
p.s. This “thespian/lesbian” joke has to be a “Lebanese/lesbian” homage, no?
After all these years of writing about G Flip, I guess it’s about time I saw them in real life. Crazy, I know. I’m going to see the Aussie star this weekend for my birthday, which admittedly seems pretty gay. So, you know, it’s perfect. Sheepishly, I’m still not all that familiar with their music. But I am taking a crash course now, starting with watching their “Big Ol’ Hammer” music video. I don’t know how I missed this over the summer, what with its choose your own adventure masc hotties for all wlw tastes. And in tank tops no less. And Fortune Feimster. And the little not-Shane Jacqueline Toboni. And did I mention all the tank tops? I mean, it is Tuesday.
p.s. No, I don’t know if Chrishell will be there. No, I’ve still never watched “Selling Sunset.”
I’m still basking in that late 90s Lilith glow. Did you get a chance to watch the Lilith Fair documentary over the weekend? I’ve decided to just revel in the nostalgia a little longer. I can’t tell is this vintage encore performance makes me feel young again or incredibly old. Maybe a little of both. And, honestly, that’s just fine. Happy Monday, kittens.
Sometimes you just need a little nostalgic hopecore to get you through the day. So by all means go wrap yourself in the warm embrace of the late 90s optimism of the female singer-songwriter era. The new Hulu documentary “Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery” is exactly that hopecore. Besides the welcome faces of so many heroes from that time, from the Indigo Girls and Erykah Badu to Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan herself, the film also reminds us of the still revolutionary nature of it all. An all-women music festival? In this economy? Taylor Swift and her opener is one thing. But a whole bill? Now hold on, little ladies. Will it also make you feel a little old and remind you how our cultural history is lost if not specifically passed down to new generations? What do you mean kids today don’t know what Lilith Fair was? Teach the children! Open the schools! Happy weekend, all.
