My Weekend Crush

Sometimes you just need a little nostalgic hopecore to get you through the day. So by all means go wrap yourself in the warm embrace of the late 90s optimism of the female singer-songwriter era. The new Hulu documentary “Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery” is exactly that hopecore. Besides the welcome faces of so many heroes from that time, from the Indigo Girls and Erykah Badu to Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan herself, the film also reminds us of the still revolutionary nature of it all. An all-women music festival? In this economy? Taylor Swift and her opener is one thing. But a whole bill? Now hold on, little ladies. Will it also make you feel a little old and remind you how our cultural history is lost if not specifically passed down to new generations? What do you mean kids today don’t know what Lilith Fair was? Teach the children! Open the schools! Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Forever Diane

News of Diane Keaton’s passing at age 79 earlier this month has filled me with a lingering sense of loss. Not only did I grow up with her on screen, she inspired so many women my age and truly all women by being so endlessly herself. Much like Katharine Hepburn, Diane was an iconoclast for independent women everywhere. She also dressed her entire life outside the traditional male gaze. Her style was for her, and other women. And if the fellas also liked it, well, I mean a few of them have to have good taste, right? There was a time when “Baby Boom” was my favorite movie. She was big-shouldered but relatable and endearing and just herself. Yeah, I know, she never condemned Woody. But I refuse to allow women to face more consequences for the actions of bad men than the bad men themselves. So, thank you Diane. Know you inspired so many of us to find the big-shouldered, big-hearted heroines in all of us. And, forever, love the suits.

Tina, Ina. Ina, Tina

Am I mad at myself that I missed My Fake TV/Film Wife’s Ina Garten season opening episode last weekend and have I already set my DVR (do people still use those? just me?) for its repeat next weekend? And until then will I console myself with these clips of Tina Fey wanting to marry Ina? Yes, I know, but I allow it because what middle-aged woman hasn’t wanted to do that, duh? Talk about your I want to go to there.

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That Good Light

It’s been a bit since I’ve cried about the world – in a good way. But the trailer for the documentary “Comes See Me in the Good Light” about the late genderqueer poet Andrea Gibson achieved exactly that. Happy tears. Or at very least ones only a little tinged in sadness, I mean, what a loss still. I think in this dark moment, we could all use a reminder of the good light. I know I sure do.

Music Monday: Worst Believers

After the massive and heartening No Kings rallies across the country (now, let’s turn that into action at the polls, for mutual aid, for community care), all I want from artists right now is their honest rage. We need modern protest songs. We need Hayley Williams’s “True Believer.” The Paramore frontwoman’s new solo project has started with this searing single that pulls no punches about our fucked up political situation. And, you know, the racism behind it. More of this, anyone with a platform and functioning empathy. More of this. Also, particularly more of this in the face of intentionally milquetoast and entirely complicit people like Fallon. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, this weekend got away from me. And I plan to write more about Diane Keaton soon, because goodness she deserves it. But in the interim, please soak in the joy of the final number from “The First Wives Club,” which honestly stands up. Especially the slam on you-know-who. If only we had remembered. Rest easy, Diane. Thanks for your everything. Happy weekend, all.

Wayward Watch

I;m not entirely sure why I haven’t started “Wayward” yet. I mean it stars Mae Martin as a trans cop in a small town with a pregnant wife. Also, hello, Toni Collette. But maybe it’s the creepy nature (remember what I said about horror yesterday) or the general bleakness of torturing troubled teenagers that I just haven’t yet. But I know, I know – I should. I will.

Spooky Lesbian Season

If there’s a moment when we could all use a queer zombie comedy, it is this moment. Spooky season needs saving when the real world is so – horrible and stupid all at the same time. So, you know, spooky. Even though I’m not a horror person, I do enjoy a well-made genre flick. And I’m curious what Tina Romero can do with such a clearly queer storyline and aesthetic. Yes, I know she is the daughter of horror icon George A. Romero, who practically had a genre named after him. But did he ever cast Katy O’Brian and Margaret Cho? Lesbians and drag queens would definitely make a formidable zombie-fighting force. I’d watch that.

The L in SNL Stand for Lesbian

Leave it to my Fake TV/Film Wife’s Real-LIfe TV/Film Wife to make the SNL sketch of the season. Yes, I know this season has only just begun, but it’s hard to think of a more lesbian sketch than this, so, my statement stands. This also kind of confirms my reasons for not having watching “The Hunting Wives” yet. “It’s like if ‘The L Word’ took place in Yellowstone.” Snort, but also precisely.

I feel like we need to send Amy Poehler a toaster oven for bringing The Aubrey Plaza into that skit. And as a real lesbian, no less!

Also, she deserves a monogrammed toaster oven specifically from me for bringing out Tina Fey not just once but twice.

Hey, SNL, invite more of the show’s female alums back to host. Because when they do, they absolutely kill it. Not that I expected anything less from Amy, even if we’re in the midst of a one-sided TV/FIlm Wife standoff.

Music Monday: Queer Katseye

Yes, I know, I KNOW. This is an commercial. Corporations aren’t our friends. But, damn, if it isn’t catchy. And for the past month it’s been the jeans antidote to that awful Aryan Nation-esque American Eagle abomination from Sydney Sweeney. Also this ad is the only reason I know who KATSEYE is. And because I know who KATSEYE, the multi-cultural K-pop girl group, is I have learned that it includes not one but two out members. They are Lara Raj, who came out in March, and Megan Skiendiel who came out during Pride month. Aw, and their own music is pretty damn catchy too. And, again, not racist. Which can’t be said of the federal government. I mean, they creates a gory telenovela masterpiece where all the women are fighting over Jessica Alba (instead of a stupid man, yay) and a pussy wins at the end. 10/10, no notes as the kids say. I think. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Few films lesbian films are as underrated, or stand up so well, as “Saving Face.” So I’m thrilled that the movie continues to receive well-deserved flowers. The movie celebrated its 20th anniversary (gulp) by being selected for the Criterion Collection and having an all-star reunion with writer-director Alice Wu and stars Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen. I’d like to think Wilhelmina and Vivian are still together, and Viv is still teasing Wil and making her blush on the regular. I guess it’s time for a rewatch. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Drag Bake

We did not get nearly enough of Jessika on this season of Bake Off. Like, truly, we’re been robbed of this delightful drag king’s presence. Also, is being taken out by school bakes bullying? Like no queer kid needs those kinds of memories! Anyway, had she been able to hang on this would have been one of the most drag-positive seasons ever. Truly I hardly recognized Prue Leith. She looks more like Richard Attenborough in Jurassic Park than Richard Attenborough! Oh, Bake Off, think of what you are missing. What if Prue and Jessika had a drag battle? Bake sync for your life!

p.s. But seriously, here is Jessika AS Paul Hollywood! Why would you eliminate this? Why?!

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The Biggest Matriarch Energy

Speaking of TV shows I wish made their female leads gay for each other, how about those first-look pictures of Gillian Anderson and Lena Headey as rival badass matriarchs in “The Abandons?” Remember more than two years ago when I got all excited about the Big Matriarch Energy anticipation at the thought of a face-off between these two? Per the new show’s logline:

Set in Washington Territory in 1854, the series follows the matriarchs of two very different families: one of wealth and privilege, bound by blood; and the other a found family of orphans and outcasts, bound by love and necessity. The families find their fates linked by two crimes, an awful secret, a star-crossed love, and a piece of land with silver underneath. The collision echoes the American struggle of the haves and have-nots, in a place just beyond the reach of justice.

OK, but do they kiss? But, really, now smooch. Please, you were thinking it too. I guess we’ll find out when it premieres Dec. 4 on Netflix.

Tank Top Tuesday: Keeping up with the Jones

Look, it’s Suranne Jones’s turn. Jodie Whittaker wore the tank in my first post about “Frauds.” By the way, my Brit kittens, how is that? I don’t think we stupid Yanks can watch it yet. But more importantly, anything gay? (I know, but we can always dream.)

Music Monday: New Robyn

I put this song on one of my driving playlists this summer and I cannot overstate how much it lifts my mood whenever I’m out and about. Because no matter where I am or what I’ve been doing this song makes me have to move. My feet – when I’m not driving. My hands on the steering wheel when the feet are occupied. And screaming this at the top of your lungs in your car? Highly cathartic. Would recommend. 10/10. No notes. I heard Robyn is coming out with her first new album in seven years soon. Which, honestly, just knowing that makes my serotonin levels go up in anticipation. More joyous car dancing on my own, here I come. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Somehow I missed Melissa Etheridge’s daughter getting married – sorry, let me be more specific, getting gay married – last month. So belated mazel tov to Melissa's eldest daughter, Bailey Jean Cypheridge, and her wife Bailey Jocelyn Simone Rhude who got hitched at a winery in Sonoma in September. The couple wore custom Armani which is super gay and had “100% female and queer vendors” which is even gayer. Oh, and mama Etheridge also performed, making this perhaps the gayest wedding ever. I wish the happy couple endless, overwhelming gayness for the rest of their days. To the brides, and the most lesbian mother-in-law situation ever. Happy weekend, all.

NYC Hacks

I’m so thrilled “Hacks” is coming back and so thrilled “Hacks” is filming in New York City. Why? Because then you get to see Deborah Vance pose with a Sabrett’s cart. And do, well, whatever ridiculous nonsense that Deborah, Ava and company are up to in the concrete jungle.

Also, come on, I know it’s wrong. And I actually don’t even want to see it happen on the show. But, yeah, I ship it. I can’t help it.

p.s. Speaking of inappropriate crushes, I definitely have not overcome my totally age-inappropriate crush on Hannah Einbinder. I mean, after that Emmy acceptance speech, who could not have a crush on her?

Welcome to Spooky, Sparkly Season

I mean, you drop that many original Oz references and you know I’ll have to write about it again. Hello, it’s in the name. I surrender! I thoroughly enjoyed Part One, so expect to also love me some “For Good.” And, of course, it would be even better – and of course gayer – if they actually made it gay. Elphaba and Glinda 4eva. Now that’s how you witch up for October. Friends of Dorothy, indeed.

More Kate By the Minute

If you have 23 minutes to spare, might I suggest you watch Kate McKinnon struggle her way through the hottest wings on the planet. But true to her new agrarian lifestyle, Kate is eating seitan wings, which for some reason are strangely chewy. Like, it’s plants… What is that pull? Anyway, there are worse things you can do with 23 minutes, is all I’m saying. Also, if you have five more minutes, might I suggest you catch Kate talking about luddite farm life, too? Because the world is hard enough right now. Have yourself 28 minutes of joy, I mean Kate McKinnon.

Music Monday: Triple Barracuda

Look, have I now posted live performances of “Barracuda” three times this year? Yes, yes (and yes), I have. The first one was Heart. The second one was Chappell Roan. And the third time is the charm with Chappell and half of Heart, Nancy Wilson. And you’d better believe if that other half of Heart wants another go, I’ll post it again (again, again, again). So there. Because who can deny those guitar riffs? And why would you want to? Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Look, since we’re celebrating the fellas this week, I thought we should even things out with a gay white male too. You know, call it DEI for lesbians of color like me. Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to watch the Emmys because I was traveling. But I was beyond thrilled to hear Jeff Hiller won for “Somebody Somewhere.” It has truly been my favorite show of the last few years, this little show with the big queer heart as I like to describe it to anyone who will listen. I have watched and rewatched this lovely show about sweaty, and compassionate, middle-aged people. Jeff’s win feels like a win for all of us – especially considering the camera operator couldn’t find/didn’t know who Bridget Everett was. Don’t worry, we know. Congratulations, Team “Somebody Somewhere." Happy weekend, all.

Aye Aye, Captain

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What Kate Mulgrew said. I keep searching for what will finally, finally break the hold of Trumpism. Heck, I've read up on McCarthyism, and especially how it ended. We can still pull ourselves back from this madness and stupidity, America. And the rational and empathetic among us must do all we can in this moment to ensure we do. Otherwise, I fear even Captain Janeway herself can't save us.

Go, First Amendment, Go

I know, posting about a rich straight cis white man? In this economy? Yet here we are. Here we fucking are. Jimmy Kimmel returned last night and did not shy away from the controversy over his historic (and historically fascist) suspension. And I’m posting about him today because when the government feels safe to openly go after the rich straight cis white men, you know they won’t even think twice about coming after the rest of us. So, welcome back, Jimmy Kimmel. I may even finally forgive you for Girls on Trampolines with Adam Carolla. Maybe. Thank you, First Amendment. Long may you reign. Oh, and because I’m always thinking it anyway, fuck Donald Trump.

Tank Top Tuesday: Back to Basics

Well I’m back. And I know one thing for sure. Vacation is better than not being on vacation. Also, tank tops are better than not tank tops. So, that’s two things. Yeah, that’s all I’ve got. I’ve been away, it’s the best I can do for a Tuesday. But, like Dua Lipa is in a “Mother fucker” tank top, so it’s also definitely isn’t nothing. I’m back, baby!

Samira Wiley

I didn’t watch the rest of “The Handmaid’s Tale” because real life is hard and dystopian enough, but at least the show let Samira’s character live, dammit.

Emma Watson

Well, at least we know one “Harry Potter”-associated actress who would never work with that horrid wizard lady again.

Queen Latifah

No commentary necessary.

Cate Blanchett

Ditto.

Vacation Vixen: Chappell Roan

Is this the coolest concert shot you’ve ever seen or what? If I could I’d hang it personally in the Louvre. Personally.

p.s. Back tomorrow, kittens.

Vacation Vixen: The Stud Budz

The Stud Budz made it to Vogue. The Vogue. Also, they offered a mea culpa for that whole Dave Portnoy invite (in short, they called Angel Reese and then dumped the idea because fuck that guy). So, yeah, those Budz who are Studz are back to being golden in my book. Play on, players. Play on.

Vacation Vixen: Melissa King

It’s Thursday, dress accordingly.

Vacation Vixen: Anne Hathaway

Like I said, I’m excited/impatient for “Mother Mary.” Also, I just can’t resist a vest.

Vacation Vixen: Michaela Coel

Have I mentioned how excited and impatient I am for “Mother Mary” starring Michaela Coel as a fashion designer in a relationship with a music superstar played by Anne Hathaway? Because, um, I am. Also it’s Tuesday, so you’re welcome.

Vacation Vixen: Evan Rachel Wood

I'm taking a quick week and change off to fly home to see family. But the other day I thought, damn, I haven’t seen Evan Rachel Wood in anything recently. I hope she’s OK. Then I went to her instagram and saw she’s been focusing on her music and just released her first single. So, you know, good for her. Good for her.

My Weekend Crush

I have no idea if Suranne Jones and Jodie Whittaker’s new series “Frauds” will be any good. But I do know Jodie plays an ex-con named Sam and Suranne plays her partner in crime named Bert. And they apparently look like this in it. So we’re just gonna take this one for Team Gay, no matter what happens. Happy Weekend, all.

Such Horny Heights

Look, I know there isn’t anything explicitly gay about Emerald Fennell’s new adaptation “Wuthering Heights.” But then it stars Margot Robbie as Cathy and Jacob Elordi as Heathcliff and did I mention it’s from the Season 2 showrunner of “Killing Eve” and auteur behind “Promising Young Woman” and “Saltburn.” So, everything about that sentence feels a little gay. Also there’s also the close-up of hangs in dough, eggs, fish mouths. This is the original horny-on-main twisted gothic romance featuring a soundtrack by Charli XCX. So, yeah, it’s not gay, but it is also deeply gay. But I missed Hump Day yesterday, and, well, we could use a little sexy while the rest of the world is in shambles!

Buffy is Back, Baby!

It’s HAPPENINNNNNG. That Buffy reboot has finished filming its pilot episode and honestly, what more could we want? Bringing back Sarah Michelle Gellar as a mentor to the new slayer and time jump 25 years to, you know, now? Check. Bringing in the visionary, Oscar-winning director behind “Nomadland,” Chloe Zhoa, to helm the pilot? Check. Brining in a newcomer with three-names to play the new Slayer? Check, and welcome, Ryan Kiera Armstrong. No Joss Whedon anywhere in sight? Checkity check check!

Honestly, a series and pop culture presence as essential as Buffy deserves another shot, and to tell her own story unencumbered by the sins of those who made it in the past. She has grown to be more than just a chick who kills vampires, and saves the world a lot, to a character who means something to generations of fans. I can’t wait to see what they come up with, and I have high hopes it will honor and create a new legacy for her and all of us to enjoy. At least we all know who to beep when the next apocalypse comes. Which the way things are going, could be any day now.

Music Monday: Barracuda Redux

If you’re going to cover Heart’s iconic “Barracuda,” you’d better do it right. And few things seem as right as Chappell Roan belting it out backed by an all-female band and a stage that looks like a sinister medieval fantasy fair. Now that’s how you start a week, people. Happy Monday, kitten.

My Weekend Crush

The pipeline from starring in a queer film/movie to being queer and loving it remains undefeated. Chloë Grace Moretz, who famously played gay in the 2018 film “The Miseducation of Cameron Post” and voiced the non-binary and genderfluid title character of 2023’s “Nimona” wed her girlfriend of seven years, model Kate Harrison, over Labor Day weekend. And it was such a big deal none other than Vogue covered it. Yes, I know, Miranda Priestly must be so pissed she got scooped. Mazel tov to the happy, fashionable couple. I won’t comment on those cowboy hats, cause who is to judge another person’s cowgirl fantasies. Certainly not me. Congratulations to Chloe and Kate and happy weekend, all.

Rizzoli Wherefore Art Thou?

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Since we’re going behind the scenes of beloved shows, let’s pour a little out for “Rizzoli & Isles.” It’s been 15 years since the show premiered, which holy fuck. And as much as I wish they’d finally create a mainstream show with an authentically queer tomboy lead, I’ll take a little Jane Rizzoli being Jane Rizzoli at a wedding any day of the week. And twice on Sunday. Man, I miss those recaps.

Hacking Away

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Here are some “Hacks” Season 4 bloopers to spark joy. They might spark something else too, because of how Hannah Einbinder and Jean Smart love to tease. The funny thing about Deborah-Ava shipping is that if Deborah Vance and Ava Daniels actually did hookup it would be a May-December nuclear disaster. But then, things aren’t going to well in the real world, so why not Chernobyl our fantasies too.

Hot Honey Pizza

I haven’t had a chance to watch “Honey, Don’t!” yet, but don’t worry I will. But I have made the time to watch all 9 minutes and 26 seconds of Aubrey Plaza and Margaret Qualley trying to make pizza together. And why would I not when it is filled with Aubrey calling Margaret “baby” and “mommy” and saying “this is what it would be like if we were married.” And that scene she is describing with the coconut oil? Yeah, I gotta see this movie immediately. If not sooner.

p.s. Does Aubrey just have insane chemistry with every female actress in the world or what?

Music Monday: Cyndi & Bridget

I was looking for a little joy and also missing my favorite fictional friends from Manhattan, Kansas when I stumbled upon this video of Cyndi Lauper and Bridget Everett performing together in 2017. Now this was before “Somebody Somewhere” was a flicker in anyone’s eyes. But, goodness, if it doesn’t bring the joy. And these days, I’ll take any I can find. Guess that means it’s also time for a full series “Somebody Somewhere” rewatch. As it should be. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Am I the only one who still feels unsettled by the sudden death of Anne Burrell this June? It wasn’t necessarily that her death was ruled a suicide, which is of course tragic. And I hope anyone contemplating the end knows you aren’t alone. Nor should we necessarily be surprised that the circumstances of her passing seemed at odds with her public persona. I’m not even truly talking about the fact that it was only posthumously that I realized Anne was actually bi (or pan, however she identified) and not lesbian as I had assumed since she first entered our collective consciousnesses with that female Guy Fieri hair. What makes me feel weird and hasn’t ceased to seem off is how the Food Network has basically not handled her death or memorialized her in any way. They just keep plugging her final season of “The Worst Cooks in America” as if nothing has happened. And I say this as a person who watched the so-called “memorial” to Anne that the network aired right after her death which was just a random assortment of “Guy’s Grocery Games” where she appeared and, again, never mentioned her death. What a sad, unceremonious ending for someone who was as much a face of that network’s early success as any dude who ate on camera. Put some respect on her name, Food Network. And rest in peace, Anne. Happy weekend, all.

Princess Treatment

Deborah and Ava crawled so Christine Baranski and King Princess could soar! I mean, not really, for either of them. But wasn’t it fun when we thought maybe it could be? Last week there was a brief shining moment when it seemed maybe the 73-year-old actress and the 26-year-old singer were an item. I mean, how else should we have interpreted the Instagram hard launch with the hashtag #loveislove?

Anyway, turns out the “Nine Perfect Strangers” co-stars are just intergenerational BFFs. Who hold hands! And wear cute suits together! Duh! Stop being weird about it! Or get much, much weirder. Your call.

Great British (Queer) Bake Off

Has this week been all about catharsis and self-soothing? What of it? You handle late-stage capitalism amid the dismantling of our foundational institutions by a bunch of real-life authoritarian fascist cosplayers your way and I will handle it mine. Anyway, where was I? Self-soothing!

Thank goodness my favorite comfort show is back, and it appears gayer than ever. “The Great British Bake-Off,” known as “The Great British Baking Show” in America because capitalism is bullshit, returns to Netflix Sept. 5.

The new season features three kind of adorable looking gay men and one queer woman who is also a drag king. Yes, I know, skip to the good part. But first to honor of baking brothers, here are Aaron, Leighton and Tom. You can read about them on your own time.

But Jessika, ah, Jessika.

Per her official Bake-Off bio:

“With backflips as bold as her bakes, Jessika is a gymnastic, roller-skating Drag King whose creations are as vibrant as her personality. Gifting bakes is her love language, and she’ll spend months gathering information about her friends tastes before surprising them with the perfect birthday entremet. Raised in Cornwall, Jessika has fond memories of eating corner-shop cakes with her sister after dance classes, which solidified her sweet tooth. Her signature bakes fuse daring flavours like salted mango caramel and cardamom, or Jerusalem artichoke caramel with a dark chocolate mousse. When she’s not baking, Jessika’s on skates, cycling, or performing as her drag king persona. An ambitious baker, she’s all about pushing boundaries, in the kitchen and beyond.”

Per her Instagram, which features a rainbow flag and pictures like this.

And abs like this.

Goodness. We haven’t had a queer woman to root for on GBBO since, gosh, was it Yan in 2017? Wait, it can’t be that long. I mean last year Gill should have been a lesbian. But, wow. Yeah, we were due. But a drag king? And a top bun? Oh, GBBO, you’re almost spoiling us.