Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Edition

Well, here’s a good trend for a change. You know, not like the precipitous decline of our democracy and dismantling of our public services. But, uh, a positive fashion trend counteracts all that, right? Right?!? Anyway, at least we have women in suits. I’ve noticed more female stars opting for suits on the red carpet recently and obviously I am not mad about that. Oversized suits seem to be the specific trend, but I don’t size discriminate. So, please enjoy this stylish selection. Does it make up for the undeniable creep of fascism? Yeah, no. But I’ll take what I can get to spark some joy these days. Keep suiting up, ladies. A grateful nation needs you (well, 75 million of us need you). Nicole Kidman

All these sexy straight roles for Nicole, I say it’s time to mix things up – sapphically speaking. This suit agrees with my casting requests, clearly.

Carrie Coon

Mike White should really fuck us all up and have Carrie’s character and Parker Posey’s character have a wild lesbian affair together on “White Lotus” this season. This tux says it would work.

Halsey

Sure, she looks like she’s running for county comptroller. But you know you’d vote for her based on that suit alone.

Olivia Wilde

Whereas Olivia looks like she’s everyone’s favorite poetry professor at a small liberal arts college.

Cynthia Erivo

I think this is her only suit during this whole Wicked premiere/award season tour. Which, as we can see here, is a shame for us.

Cate Blanchett

Ties are, obviously, optional.

Lisa

Bow ties are also optional (hear that, Brandi?).

Janelle Monae

Shirts are also, obviously, optional.

Keke Palmer

Pants, too!

Kate Winslet

Giving us a choice between black and white suits, really Winslet – you are too kind and I totally understand why you needed all that space on the door.

A Simple (Gay) Favor

Right, so if we’re doing this again, they’re gonna make it gay this time – right? Like really, actually gay – right? Sure, they had that lil sympathy smooch in the first one. But for the sequel, they run off together and live happily ever after – in an extremely gay way. RIGHT?

Yes, I will probably watch “Another Simple Favor” – whether it’s actually gay or not – because Blake Lively in menswear just does it for me. Granted, I don’t know why Anna Kendrick’s character would jet off to Italy to be the maid-of-honor for someone who literally tried to kill her – other than she loves her in a totally gay way. But if they don’t make it gay, I certainly hope they throw us a ton more hot looks (or should I saw lewks) to satiate our needs. But, seriously, make it gay.

p.s. See, remember? GAY.

GGALGG: Oscars Edition

So the thing about this year’s Oscars is they were very, very, veryveryveryvery straight this year. I mean, sure, Ariana Grande opened with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from “The Wizard of Oz” and then Cynthia Erivo followed with “Home” from “The Whiz” and they both finished with “Defying Gravity.” Ari even had a freaking ruby slipper attached to her back. Which, I mean, sure – that’s a pretty fucking gay way to start things off. But instead of staying gay, the rest of the show was pure “Kansas Rainbow” (this is a deep “Somebody Somewhere” cut – which if you recognize it let’s be real gay together).

But after that? None of the higher-profile queer nominees won (not Cynthia, not Brandi Carlile and Elton John, not Colman Domingo and definitely not Karla Sofía Gascón). The highlights for LGBTQ+ folks was out costume designer Paul Tazewell taking home the trophy for “Wicked” – making him the first Black man to win – and Queen Latifah singing “Ease On Down The Road” (was “The Whiz” the telecast’s true winner?) with Glad trash bags tied to her shoulders.

And can we talk for a moment about how neither of the two “Emilia Perez” winners mentioning the trans community even once in their acceptance speeches? Hello??? If you’re wondering why this movie wasn’t embraced by the LGBTQ+ community, uh, that’s why. When you use us as a plot device without any real intention of representing the greater community, it shows. That and it was a bad movie, period.

Honestly, there wasn’t much SGALGG to speak of from the red carpet either. Like hardly any fun shots of straight actresses trying to Sabrina Carpenter themselves with other straight actresses, so clearly queer sensibilities had a bad night. Also, can we talk about how 25-year-old Mikey Madison pulling a surprise upset for Best Actress over 62-year-old Demi Moore is the perfect postscript to “The Substance,” because yeah.

Even if the awards were very cis and very straight, I’m here to bring the GGALGG because that’s my whole and entire mission statement. Granted, most of the Queer Lady Rainbow Mafia only showed up for the after parties – which is just another sign of our good taste. Ahem.

Cynthia Erivo & Lena Waithe

Had to find a sneaky picture of Cynthia & Lena at the Oscars because they did not pose on the red carpet together and posted individual shots of themselves at the Oscars on their respective Instas. Which, hey, I get keeping your personal lives private. But it’s the Oscars, ladies. Not even one official shot together at the Gay Superbowl?

Marissa Bode & Lauren Brooks

The “Wicked” star brought her girlfriend with her throughout the movie’s award show run and happily posed together on the red carpet so I’m not saying she wins Girlfriend of the Year but she’s definitely not losing Girlfriend of the Year for lack of effort.

Brandi Carlile & Catherine Shepherd Carlile

I love them, I don’t love their abundance of bows. Like was Brandi’s suit inspired by Minnie Mouse, what is happening? Are bows the new carabiners? Explain, universe. Explain.

Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols

Did a Catholic middle school dance chaperone get to them and say they needed to leave space for the Holy Ghost or what?

Niecy Nash-Betts & Jackie Betts

Thank Sappho for Niecy and Jackie, a queer couple that always looks great together and will give us the Gay Superbowl photos we deserve.

Oprah & Whoopi Goldberg

Fine, while neither is truly family, I think we can all just agree they look like the most stylish couple at Senior Prom Night at their high-end 55+ community.

Laverne Cox & Hari Nef

More trans representation in one photo than the entire production of “Emilia Perez.” Enough said.

Sarah Paulson & Hannah Einbinder

It’s like spare body parts from The Substance and a fashion-forward Dalek from Doctor Who showed up as each other’s dates.

Chappell Roan & Elton John

We have reached Maximum Gay. Any more Gay and we may risk Nuclear Rainbow Overload.

Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter

The only straight couple I will include because after seeing Melanie in this Jessica Rabbit getup, every lesbian has reaffirmed her spot on their “Celebrity I So Would” lists. And Jason is just adorable, even though he will fight every single last one of us for lusting after his wife.

Renee Rapp

Speaking of Jessica Rabbit, I’m glad to see Renee embracing her inner – or should I say outer – Jessica as well.

Clea DuVall

Again, this is exactly how I would show up at award shows were I ever to be invited to award shows – or in this case, award show after parties.

Katy M. O’Brian

I love that these are actually pants. Oh you didn’t notice the pants because of the muscles? Yeah, you’re gay.

Music Monday: Sabrina & Dolly Edition

Speaking of genres I don’t listen to as much, county (particularly contemporary country) sits atop the list. Of course I have my exceptions: Kacey Musgrave, The Chicks, Willie and, of course, Dolly Parton. So when Sabrina Carpenter (a.k.a. The Unfortunately Straightest Pop Girlie Around, Despite Her Best Efforts) rereleased her hit “Please Please Please” minus her ex-Barry Keoghan and with Dolly, well, I was just tickled pink. Or, uh, I think pink. The video is in black and white. But doesn’t it feel pink? I mean, what else would you wear to bury a (soon-to-be) dead ex-boyfriend’s body? Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. Please please please tell me they also recorded an explicit version with Dolly that keeps in the “motherfucker” because, well, you know why.

My Weekend Crush

On this, the last day of Black History Month, let us join Aretha and lift every voice and sing so fucking loud that even those racists running DC can’t ignore it. “Lift Every Voice and Sing” has been known as the Black National Anthem since 1917, a good 14 years before the “Star Spangled Banner” was officially recognized as the national anthem in 1931. Written in 1900 by James Weldon Johnson and set to music by his brother, J. Rosamond Johnson, the song has become a rallying cry for Black Americans throughout the Civil Rights Movement and beyond. More recently it has even been sung before the Super Bowl for the last several years as well, which of course prompts a lot of hand-wringing in certain very white circles. But, and I say this most sincerely, suck it all you hideous losers. You may feel rejuvenated now, what with your “Roman salutes” and the whole administration going full Nazi, but your hate is a relic. We will never stop fighting for a more just and equal society. We will march on ‘til victory is won. Happy weekend, all.

XL Entertainment

Yes, I know, I have posted a lot about Doechii recently. But I’ve really enjoyed her whole vibe, and while rap may not be my most listened to genre, I love to expand my horizons. So her collaboration with K-pop star Jennie, of Blackpink, on the latter’s debut solo album is a fun excursion. Please note their white suits throughout the video. I mean it’s Thursday, so let’s gender fuck it up while making sure the ladies continue to run this. Also, they look good together. What? Please, like you didn’t notice too. I don’t know why they’re dancing on some bald guy’s head, but again, that is 100% not my focus. If you even noticed the head with all the other, uh, scenery.

Use Your Love

Fine, I guess this is music week. I’ve actually been listening to more music recently, probably as a way to keep off the TV and especially the news. You know what they say about it soothing the savage soul. I keep seeing clips of Kelly Clarkson singing this cover of The Outfield’s “Your Love” on my feed. And I know that is for one very specific, very sapphic reason. Yep, that wink on “you know I like my girls a little bit older.” Interestingly, British rockers who made the song a massive hit back in the 80 also had a single called “Since You’ve Been Gone.” But it is no relation, or comparison really, to Kelly’s hit. Honestly, now I rather prefer Kelly’s version of their big hit as well – what can I say, the wink works.

Dark and the Endless Skies

If you will indulge me this week, I feel like an extended musical interlude. So consider this Tuesday Tunes, I guess. Before her passing yesterday at 88, everyone of course knew Roberta Flack for “Killing Me Softly with His Song” – and the subsequent Fugees cover a couple decades later. But did you know she was the first (and so far only) person to win back-to-back record of the year Grammys, for “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” in 1973 and “Killing Me Softly with His Song” in 1974? While both songs are sublime, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” remains one of the most beautiful gender-neutral ballads ever sung. The lack of pronouns – which here is a freeing thing, not bigoted thing – allows anyone to dream of seeing the sunrise in someone’s eyes. And, as a lesbian wedding song, come on. Practically peerless. So thank you for the beauty and the romance, Roberta. Rest in peace, but know your music will live forever.

Music Monday: Dance Like Everyone Is Watching

Look, I know this is not necessarily gay. But it’s Robyn and David Byrne. So, like, come on. Watching them sing together on the SNL 50th anniversary concert special earlier this month cracked something inside my chest. It made me smile. It made me cry a little. But, it wasn’t necessarily a bad cry. It was more of a release. The discordance of this truly dark national moment paired with the uninhibited joy of creativity. I hope you feel the same kind of release watching these two weirdo genius legends dance with abandon and take us all for an exhilarating spin. Joy, particularly LGB-and especially-TQ+ joy, is an act of rebellion. Don’t ever forget that. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

One of the most important things I think we can do during this time when so many vulnerable communities are being assaulted by the full weight and breadth of the federal government, is listen to people in those communities. So when people in the trans community talk about what is needed in the years ahead, listen. When other queer people talk about what would help in the years ahead, listen. When people of color do, when immigrant communities do, when anyone that Orange Turd and that Emerald Mine Nazi Baby decides is bad or doesn’t deserve basic human rights or shouldn’t exist, we should fucking listen.

So today – while we’re all watching in real time as our entire system of government is smashed and burned to the ground by the very oligarchs who will benefit the most from its destruction – what we need to do is listen. And I can think of no one more articulate in this perilous yet all too predictable moment than the divine Laverne Cox. Her recent appearance The View is precisely the message we need to be sending at this moment. The LGBTQ+ community is strong and resilient and used to this shit. Fight the real problem, folks.

“At the end of the day, trans people are less than 1% of the population. Trans people are not the reason you can’t afford eggs. We’re not the reason you can’t afford healthcare. We’re not the reason you can’t buy a house or your rent is too high. I think you’re focused on the wrong 1%. I think the other 1% is the reason for all those things.”

Ex-fucking-actly. The oligarchs who are raiding our collective national pantry right now know what they’re doing. They know scapegoating has been one of the most effective tactics of the ruling class since time immemorial. Us, the people with all the power and the wealth and the resources? No, no, we’re not the problem.

You don’t have enough because this other person who also doesn’t have enough has anything at all. So take their stuff and you’ll have enough! Yet it works, time and time and time again. That brown person is why your life is miserable. That trans person is why your life is miserable. No, you’re miserable because we live in a world where we have the means and the resources for everyone to have enough yet we instead allow the smallest select fraction at the top to hoard and control everything.

I actually think all the bro-ligarchs decided the workers of the world were getting a little too uppity – what with us forming unions and demanding better working conditions and liveable wages – and decided now was the time to strike. Their objective, of course, is to return to their roles as feudal lords (I’ve already heard talk of the return to company towns, hello) to create an even cheaper workforce.

That’s easy to do if you erase every last speck of good that the government can do. So then the people’s only recourse will be to turn to those billionaires bosses and corporate overlords for any hope of salvation – money, food, shelter, et all. They want a quiet and compliant workforce that just shuts up already about their rights and is grateful to toil for their exclusive benefit. Duh!

Anyway, all this wanton destruction, cruelty and idiotry to give billionaires more tax cuts. As Laverne said, I think you’re focused on the wrong 1%. Eat the fucking rich. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Lucy’s Hot Masc Edition

If it wasn’t for the whole Christo-fascist takeover and oligarch-led looting of the United States government and all, it would be an awesome time to be a young lesbian. Like, you have multiple – multiple – famous queer female music artists to choose from. You have your boygenius and your Renee Rapp and your Doechii and your Chappell Roan and your Billie Eilish and your Brandi Carlile and your Janelle Monae and even your JoJo Siwa – if you’re into that sort of thing, poor dears.

So I appreciate the very specific masc aesthetic Lucy Dacus evokes in her new music video for “Best Guess.” Shot after an open casting call for hot mascs (again, what a time to be alive – except for the fascism thing), the video is an andro-queer fever dream. ER Fightmaster! Towa Bird and Muna’s Naomi McPherson proving they’re not the same person! Cara Delevigne, for some reason! Wait, is Cara masc? Like she’s got top energy, but masc? Perhaps she just magically appears whenever four or more lesbians are in a room together.

I’ve heard a little chatter criticizing the lack of body diversity and other kinds of diversity among those chosen. But still, for us old timers, I mentioned it still sometimes feels like a dream to have this much overt queerness celebrated, considered cool and lusted after in public, right?

Also, you have to tip the old beanie to Lucy for making the entire video for her ode to the love she has for her bandmate and bestie Julien Baker into the hottest masc thirst trap ever. Also, “You are my best guess at the future” is such a stunning line. Bring on the hot introverted writer lady thirst trap videos next. You know, just a suggestion.

Happy Not Outing

Would you like something adorable that isn’t actually gay but is definitely gay adjacent and also did I mention adorable? Now many of you may know Allison Tolman from the first season of the “Fargo” TV series (or “Emergence”). But I know and love her from the very little-seen “Downward Dog” which was told from the perspective of Allison’s character’s dog and omfg was so sweet and I kind of hate the universe for not watching this show. Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, so recently Allison was on Seth Meyer’s show and told the story of her accidental coming out. Not only did she accidentally post that she came out, she did it on National Coming Out Day and then turned off her phone for a couple hours. Aw, the straights say the darndest things. Unrelated, but I would kill for Allison and Melanie Lynskey to play sisters in a project. Make it happen, universe! Then I might almost forgive you for the “Downward Dog” thing. Almost.

p.s. Is anyone watching “St. Denis Medical” on NBC? It looks kinda funny, but I’m kinda maxed out on network shows. Worth it? I don’t want to be making others “Downward Dog” mistake here.

Where are These Lesbians Now: IMAY Edition

Did you know “Imagine Me & You” turns 20 this year? T-W-E-N-T-Y. The 2005 rom-com remains a gold standard for lesbian rom-coms thanks largely to its hugely likeable (and talented – more on that later) cast. I rewatched IMAY again over the holidays, my first rewatch in quite a while. And goodness if it still isn’t charming as all get out. PLUS, 20 years on and this cast has done exceptionally well for themselves? How well?

Here’s a little Where Are They Now, Lesbian Edition for the IMAY cast.

Lena Headey as Luce:

While we all know her as the hottest florist in all of England/The Universe, heterosexual folks know her as Cersei on “Game of Thrones.” Up next up for our florist/queen is period Western drama “The Abandons” from “Sons of Anarchy” honcho Kurt Sutter. While I’m not really a Western drama kinda gal, at least it’s not another “Western drama” from “Yellowstone” creator Taylor Sheridan. Plus this one also stars Gillian Anderson, so, yeah. I am watching that.

Piper Perabo as Rachel:

Speaking of Taylor Sheridan, Piper has played an environmental activist on “Yellowstone” for the show’s last two seasons. I am happy Piper is gainfully employed. I am also happy Piper continues to be an outspoken political activist in real life. I just wish she’d join a show I have any inclination to watch. But “Covert Affairs” was fun while it lasted, back in the early 2010s.

Matthew Goode as Heck:

As Heck, Matthew played the extremely rare likeable cis-het white male romantic also-ran. Since then he has remained in constant demand and you’ve seen him in “The Good Wife,” “Downton Abbey” and more recently “The Discovery of Witches.” So, rest assured, Heck’s doing fine, don’t worry about him. I haven’t.

Celia Imrie as Rachel’s mom Tessa:

Am I the only one who regularly confuses Celia with Imelda Staunton? I mean, they even starred in a movie (2017’s “Finding Your Feet”) as sisters – sisters. Anyway, Celia has found herself a regular in several rom-com cinematic universes over the course of her career including “Bridget Jones” 1-4, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” 1-2, and “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.” Raise a glass of chardonnay to that, ladies.

Anthony Stewart Head as Rachel’s dad Ned:

He will always be Rupert Giles to me. But he is also billionaire asshole Rupert Mannion from “Ted Lasso.” Was IMAY the villain origin story for both Lena and Tony’s careers? Also, you have to think having him called “Rupert” was at least a little homage to our favorite Watcher. Or at least it is in my head.

Darren Boyd as Heck’s bestie Coop:

If you were still harboring any strong feelings about Coop’s essential grossness and creepiness, Darren playing Eve Polastri’s obnoxious and traitorous MI5 boss Frank Haleton on “Killing Eve” may have finally satisfied them. His demise at Eve’s hands felt extremely personal. Extremely.

Sue Johnston as Luce’s mom Ella:

Like you can make a list of British actors credits without multiple “Downton Abbey” mentions? No, you can not. Sue has played Gladys Denker, the lady’s maid for none other than the Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (RIP, Dame Maggie Smith) throughout the series and movies.

Boo Jackson as Rachel’s sister H:

IMAY remains the only feature credit on Boo’s IMDB, but in recent years she has appeared in a series of shorts. I also found her Instagram and she is still a performer and also queer/queer friendly – at the very least. We see you, little rainbow flag.

Vinette Robinson as Rachel’s Work Friend/Bridemaid Zina:

While we haven’t seen her much in the US since, British audiences have seen Vinette in “Waterloo Road,” “Sherlock,” “Black Mirror,” “Doctor Who” and “The Lazarus Project” – fine, I’ve heard of a couple of those.

Sharon Horgan as Rachel’s Other Work Friend/Cranky Bridesmaid Beth:

I am ashamed to say it took me until this winter’s rewatch to realize that perpetually cranky about dating Beth was none other than Sharon Horgan. The prolific Irish actor-writer-director-creator has become a bit of a powerhouse in the past two decades. Her critically acclaimed “Bad Sisters” is on Apple TV+, which makes me cranky because ugh do I also have to subscribe to Apple TV+ now too? I’m thrilled for her success and chuffed (did I use that right, across the pond friends?) it all started with little IMAY. Legit, it was her first film.

Eva Birthistle as Luce’s bestie Edie:

Luce’s super cute bestie who is so gay she’s ecstatic also remains gainfully employed – and as one of the sisters on Sharon Horgan’s “Bad Sisters.” I wonder if they met on IMAY and remained friends all these years and are now culminating that friendship with these sisterly roles. In my own internal cinematic universe, Luce and Rach regularly hang out with Beth and Edie (who became a couple after Beth realized her inability to find a suitable male partner was just latent homosexuality).

So, surprised by anyone 20 years on? Also, 20 years. Sweet suffering Sappho, we’re old. But at least we’re still super super gay – in both the queer and ecstatic senses.

Music Monday: Doechii Does It Again

Look, I told you I was obsessed, OBSESSED, with Doechii and I really, really am. And how could you not be, after both that Tiny Desk concert and her stunning Colbert show performance last month. She did this whole number while tied to her two other dancers. Like, come on. COME ON. Just a reminder that when we allow humans the space and support to be all of themselves sometimes they can produce wondrous things. Thank the universe for art and women. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

So perhaps the biggest revelation of the Grammys – at least for me, I know all the cool kids already knew, but I claim to be neither – was Doechii. The Tampa native and self-described Swamp Princess became only the third woman ever to win the best rap album Grammy last weekend. But, damn, if a star wasn’t born instantly. And that’s hard to do when Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Cynthia Erivo and Janelle Monae – not to mention so many others – are also there.

So after seeing both her powerful speech and her mesmerizing performance, I looked Doechii up and stumbled across her recent NPR Tiny Desk Concert and now, well, I am obsessed. OBSESSED.

Why so obsessed? Well her story is perfectly tailored for the American Dream factory. Fired from her retail job five years ago. A year later one of her songs went viral on TikTok. A year later she was signed by Capitol Records. And, you know, the rest is Grammy history. Her music is fierce, funny, and fierce some more.

Oh, and did I mention Doechii is queer and has a girlfriend? The rapper came out as bisexual in a GQ interview from 2022 (I mean, her lyrics gave it all away before, but it’s nice to be official). And, hot damn, her all-female backing band at Tiny Desk was so fucking fire. Also, to be shallow and all, her face et al is, you know, very very good. The world is a lot. Find joy in where you can. This week, that joy is all Doechii. Woo-sah, indeed. Happy weekend, all. And Valentine's, if you're into that sort of thing.

p.s. How do I make her growl my new breaking news notification tone? Because, “G-rrrrrrrr.”

All the Queers Fit to Cast

How about a big old queer roundup of roles for big old queers to round out the week? Yeah, say that five times fast. As we all search desperately for things to look forward to in the next four years, here are some projects and actors who I am thrilled remain busy for the foreseeable future.

Let’s start things off with Elliot Page, who is on a bit of a run what with his signing a deal with Bell Media and being super cool and all. Next up will be the high-profile Christopher Nolan adaptation of The Odyssey. The ancient Greek poem by Homer will also star – among many, many stars – Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron and Samantha Morton. No idea yet which character Elliot will play, but with a cast like that it seems any role is a good role. After the “Emilia Pérez” debacle, it’s nice to see trans actors making good headlines in what we at least hope will be a very good project.

Next, more high profile queer casting news. Pansexual actress Jena Malone will star in a highly anticipated new series from “Stranger Things” creators The Duffer Brothers. This news made me happy for a number of reasons including but definitely not limited to the fact that it alerted me to Jena’s pansexuality. I had missed her 2022 coming out somehow. But I’ve been a fan since “Contact” and have always admired her independent steak. Also did you catch her in last year’s “Love Lies Bleeding?” Her new series, “The Boroughs,” has been described as “Stranger Things” but in a retirement home. Joining Jena will be Geena Davis, Alfre Woodard, Alfred Molina and Bill Pullman, among many others as a “group of (older) misfits who fight an otherworldly evil.” So, the Upside Down but with arthritis and reading glasses, I guess. No news yet on Jena’s character, but at 40 she seems too young to be a resident. Maybe she’ll be staff? Who know but just like with “Stranger Things” I hope and expect there to be prominent queer characters.

And finally, more gays and more laughs are coming to the series remake of “The Burbs.” Based on the 1989 black comedy by the same name starring Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher, the TV reboot has already announced its lead queer star Keke Palmer. But now they’ve also added Paula Pell. Two queers, one show! The wildly charismatic Keke first got my full attention in Jordan Peel’s 2022 “Nope” and is currently starring alongside SZA in “One of Them Days,” which I can’t wait to catch once it comes to streaming. Paula is fresh off the sadly canceled “Girls5Eva” (come on, isn’t there another streamer out there who wants to experience “Yesternights” for themselves!) and basically always plays middle-aged gay lady so let’s hope that trend continues here.

If nothing else, it’s nice to see a bunch of gays gainfully employed in our current political hellscape.

All Buffy, No Joss

While this isn’t exclusively gay good news, Buffy’s queer pedigree remains historic so I’m counting it. Plus, in the comics Buffy herself explored her bisexual/pansexual side (having relations with technically dead people/vampires also seems pretty pan, right?). So imagine my delight at the news that a legit Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot (not like that stalled 2018 one) is in the works at Hulu with Sarah Michelle Gellar attached to appear and Oscar-winner Chloé Zhao to direct the pilot. Writing, producing and showrunning will be sister team Nora Zuckerman and Lila Zuckerman. And guess whose name is nowhere to be found on the reboot? Yep, it’s Joss. No more marzipan in his pie plate, bingo!

A Whedon-Free Buffy is – after all the past revelations about his behavior to particularly the female cast – is pretty much the dream. And here it is happening from a team whose resumes are, quite frankly, awesome. Chloé's “Nomadland” is a beautiful testament to the innate human desire to live free – but not in that bullshit live-free-or-die way too many right-wing jackoffs think we do. And while her Marvels outing with “The Eternals” was probably a little too cerebral and slow-paced for the MCU, her vision remains singularly stunning. Meanwhile the Zukerman sisters’ credits includes the recent Natasha Lyonne Columbo-esque series “Poker Face” and the sci-fi series “Fringe.” Also, have I mentioned they’re all women? Because, yeah, they’re all women. Finally, Buffy has come home where she belongs.

Not a ton is known about the reboot so far, but SMG will not be the lead star and instead appear in more of a supporting or recurring role as what I can only assume is the wise, elder Slayer. As you might recall, the final season activated all the Potentials, so into every generation a boatload of slayers is born. The new Buffy is expected to follow one of the newer Slayers. Is it too much to hope that they also bring back Willow as the wise, elder gay Wiccan too? I mean, if we’re finally getting that Joss-less Buffy, anything is possible.

Guard Up Again

Who needs some good gay news only this week? I sure do. How about the long-awaited – at least by me – return of “The Old Guard.” Five years after the Charlize Theron action film debuted, the immortal gang is all back for more labrys-swinging ass kickery. To which I say, damn, took you long enough. Now, if you recall the 2020 original, it was Action Charlize at the peak of her game (and with a peak alternative lifestyle haircut). She returns with an even gayer haircut (hello, a wolf cut/mullet, come on) for the sequel and I cannot wait. Like make July 2 get here now. Immediately, if not sooner.

“Old Guard 2” has comic series creator Greg Rucka return with the screenplay and has director-producer Victoria Mahoney step in for the amazing Gina Prince-Bythewood as director. Mahoney is the first female director on a Star Wars film after serving as second unit director on 2019’s “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.” For good measure, she was also the first Black woman director in the Star Wars franchise history too. Also joining the cast for the sequel is none other than The Bride herself, Uma Thurman. Action Uma and Action Charlize? Seriously, is it July 2 yet?

I am also excited for the sequel to give us more of Charlize’s Andy and her ex-teammate/girlfriend/ride-or-can’t-die Quynh, played by Veronica Ngô. I feel like after being chained underwater for 500 years these two would have a lot to process. I hope not only with battle axes. Though, just as a reminder, this is how Charlize looks wielding one.

Music Monday: Messy Edition

Thanks to TikTok coming back (which, let me reiterate, is no thanks to the current P-Orange Turd-US), my favorite current song and really mood for 2025 is Lola Young’s “Messy.” If Brat Summer is over and dead, Messy Spring will soon be upon us. Though, I feel it’s truly a relatable vibe for all seasons. Happy messy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Trailer) Crush

Finally, something to truly look forward to in 2025. “The Wedding Banquet” appears to be the rare queer film that both gay men and queer women can agree looks fucking fantastic. The remake of Ang Lee’s 1993 classic by the same name brings us into the present day as two queer couples fumble their way through a fake wedding ceremony to appease the traditional family. Sort of like “La Cage aux folles,” but without Robin Williams and with Bowen Yang.

This time around, not only is the majority of the cast actually queer as is its director Andrew Ahn (who last helmed the underrated “Fire Island”). Playing the lesbian half of the queer couple are out star Lily Gladstone and newly out Kelly Marie Tran and playing the gay half are Bowen Yang and Han Gi-chan. Rounding out the cast is Oscar winner Youn Yuh-jung and and the great and extremely gay friendly Joan Chen.

I’d like to note that Joan Chen continues to be among the most queer friendly straight actors out there having appeared over the years in everything from “Twin Peaks” to “Saving Face” to “What’s Cooking” to “Wild Side.” If you’ve never heard of the 1995 film “Wild Side” with Anne Heche and Christopher Walken, that’s OK – it wasn’t a great movie. But it did feature some unhinged chemistry between Joan and Anne in what I consider to be a precursor to the better queer film “Bound,” which came out a year later in 1996.

Right, so where was I? I look forward to this movie being too gay to function. Also, can we talk about all the gaysian (and two-spirits) excellence on display here? My only concern is, what else will I have to look forward to this year after April 18? Happy weekend, all.

The Gay Grammys, Again

Well, in case you missed last Sunday’s Grammy awards show, I can summarize it for you simply. The gals and the gays, particularly the gay gals, stole the show – again. I don’t know what it means to have two good Grammy shows in consecutive years (I mean, who would be surprised by an apocalypse at this point, honestly?) Last year we had Tracy Chapman and Brandi Carlile and boygenius (and Joni Mitchell, for the straights). This year we have Chappell Roan and Billie Eilish and Cynthia Erivo and Janelle Monae and Lady Gaga and Doechii and St. Vincent and Brittany Howard and Queen Latifah – am I missing any queer ladies, ladies? (Don’t worry, the straights had Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX and Raye and Shakira, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

And it was the women – gay and straight – who not only stole the show with their performances, but also with their show of solidarity against all the horrors of our current political/societal hellscape. Like Chappell speaking out to shame record companies into paying its developing artists a liveable wage and health insurance. Or Doechii speaking out to support Black women and dark-skinned Black women in particular. Or Shakira speaking out to send her solidarity to all the immigrants. Or Lady Gaga speaking out to say trans and queer people deserve love and support. Or Alicia Keyes speaking out to praise the power and beauty of diversity and inclusion.

Also special props to Janelle for speaking out to drag Nelly for performing at that Orange Turd’s inauguration at the Grammys afterparties. Ladies and gentlemen and every other gender identity which absolutely exists, this is exactly the energy we expect from our most celebrated artists right now.

Janelle Monae calls out Nelly during the GRAMMYs after-party for performing at Trump’s inauguration:

“F**k you Nelly, you sold out. I used to think you were cool, but now you look like a motherf**king fool.” pic.twitter.com/GQxnGVy7n9

— Pop Base (@PopBase) February 3, 2025

It’s a refreshing change from the Golden Globes, which was relatively free of high-profile political statements. Granted, that was 15 days before the horrors of Orange Turd’s 2.0 administration began. But, shit, if we didn’t all know this was coming – at least if we were paying attention.

Anyway, I wish I could share some of these performances but in one of those truly genius corporate titan moves, you can only find the concert videos on the Grammys websites and not even all of them either. Now if the Grammys would just stop having Trevor Noah host, because I find the way he roams through the audience making celebrity smalltalk extremely cringe – as the young folks say. Also treating the return of The Weeknd to the Grammys like the second-coming of Martin Luther King Jr? Even more cringe. See, this is why you leave hosting, and everything else, to the gays gals from now on, Grammys.

Page-ing More Trans Joy

Woof, well we’re in Week 3, I guess. In case you’re looking for some good news – especially good trans news (no, I’m not talking about you, “Emilia Pérez”) – amid the onslaught of The Worst news, here is something to smile about at least. In rare positive news for the LGBTQ+ folks these days, Elliot Page is partnering with Canada’s largest media company Bell Media to bring more queer/trans inclusive shows to TV. His production company Pageboy Productions will create original scripted shows to run on Bell’s main channel CTV and streamer Crave.

In a statement, Elliot said:

“Partnering with Bell Media feels like a natural evolution for Pageboy Productions. We’re excited to create captivating content that amplifies voices that deserve to be heard. This collaboration will allow us to tell powerful, genuine stories that challenge perspectives, and inspire audiences both at home and internationally.”

Would ya look at that. Instead of rolling back so-called “DEI” everything like the USA, Canadian media said bring us more queer and inclusive stories. Crazy, right? Canada’s leader also isn’t signing nonsense orders pretending there are only two genders. Inconceivable! Oh, Canada, how envious this American is of your everything right about now.

Look, our neighbors to the North have had to deal with a lot of our crap over the years. But they just keep cranking out great queer icons (k.d., Tegan and Sara, Elliot, et al) and giving us shows like “Lost Girl” and “Wynonna Earp.” And, of course, then there’s Anne of Green Gables. I’m so sorry about the whole 51st state thing. Rest assured that 75 million of us down here can’t stand President Orange Turd-US either. Please keep sending us your super gay TV.

p.s. Do you think the Oscars are gonna give us this kind of inclusivity and celebration of queer joy this year, like the JUNO’s did last year? Or are they just gonna give “Emilia Pérez” some awards and then pat themselves on the back?

Film Review: Emilia Pérez

Right, so what does it say about “Emilia Pérez” that I actually stopped watching right as the lesbian storyline started? Granted, I restarted and eventually finished it because I feel some sort of stupid sacred queer duty to watch all queer Oscar nominees. But, damn, you didn’t make it easy, film.

First things first, the premise of “Emilia Pérez” is like a mezcal-induced game of Mad Libs. What if a ruthless Mexican drug cartel boss was actually a trans woman who after gender affirming care then becomes the savior to the downtrodden people of Mexico that she had formerly murdered with impunity but then reveals herself to still be the abusive monster she was before transition only to wind up a kidnapping caper. And make it a musical. And don’t actually film most of it in Mexico. Or have that many Mexican actors at all. And instead let’s have this French guy who didn’t do any research about Mexico direct it instead. And did we mention Zoe Saldana and Selena Gomez are in it for some reason too? And it’s all in Spanish? And the one English-language song has the actual real not fake lyrics: “Hello, very nice to meet you/I'd like to know about sex change operation/I see, I see, I see/Man to woman or woman to man/Man to woman/From penis to vagina.”

Right, so, besides being reductive and convoluted and some French dude’s fever dream about trans existence, it’s also kind of boring. I really wasn’t kidding when I called it a night (before returning to it a couple days later) when Emilia and her new girlfriends met – to give us a wafer-thin lesbian storyline. That’s how uninvested in this film I felt. Mostly, while I believe it’s probably well intentioned on most of the participants' part, “Emilia Pérez” instead plays exactly like a cis-het person made it.

Its current Oscar run (snagging the most with a staggering 13 nominations – like have they actually watched all 2 hours and12 minutes – because I begrudgingly did) reminds me very much of another film some two decades ago – “Crash.” That film, hailed at the time as an important look at race relations by cis-het white Canadian filmmaker Paul Haggis, went on to beat “Brokeback Mountain” for best picture in 2004. Funny how now, more than 20 years later, nobody even mentions “Crash” as a culturally significant film. Funny how that works.

Anyway, I don’t know what movie is gonna take home the shiny naked man this year. I’m sure if “Emilia Pérez” wins lots of cis-het rich white guys in Hollywood will pat themselves on the back for being so inclusive. But what I’d rather see is the work made by and for queer and trans people be acknowledged with this much fanfare and award season love. Seriously, Academy, 13 nominations for this mess yet “I Saw the TV Glow” was right fucking there the whole time. THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. Anyway, I finally finished “Emilia Pérez,” and that’s all I have to say about that*.

*OK, one more thing, while I applaud the historic nature of Spanish star Karla Sofía Gascón’s nomination, I absolutely do not applaud her past posts Muslims, BLM and the Oscars inclusivity. Anyway, did I mention that “I Saw the TV Glow” was there the whole time instead? Because it didn’t have to be like this, Academy.

Music Monday: Crying Redux

After that stirring Spanish-version of “Crying/Llorando,” how about an English-language take from the lesbian crooner extraordinaire k.d. lang? I wish k.d. was more musically active, but I totally understand perhaps wanting to stick to her side of the border these days. We’ll just be over here crying and missing her, I guess. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Crying) Crush

Well, we made it through Week 2 of Orange Turd 2.0. Only 206 weeks (we hope) to go. So let’s use this time to slip once more into the dream/nightmare/WTF-scape of David Lynch’s mind. “Mulholland Drive” is one of my favorite Lynch offerings because who isn’t a sucker for murderous lesbianism? Life is endlessly strange and all-too-often dark. Not everything makes sense. But we can still find beauty within the chaos. The “Llorando” scene is a masterpiece in storytelling, with only an introduction of singer Rebekah Del Rio and no other spoken dialogue. But the sequence is the beginning of the end for Betty’s “reality” and return to Diane’s real reality. While I doubt we’ll all find a blue box and a secret key that whisks us into a different world – we certainly can dream, if only for a little while. Yes, I realize we’d probably want to reverse the order of her dream-box metamorphosis in this historical moment. But, life is strange and not fair. At least there’s still art. Happy weekend, all.

Film The Rich

You know, as a society we’ve probably hit some kind of oligarchy overdrive when there’s an entire subgenre of films about ordinary people being invited to the private islands/compounds/megayachts/nation-states of ultra wealthy individuals only to be terrorized by them for sport, prey, food, giggles – you name it. Think “Glass Onion” and “The Menu” and “Triangle of Sadness.” It appears that the latest film to entire this pantheon of Eat The Rich or Be Eaten by the Rich masterpieces is “Opus,” starring queer stars Ayo Edebiri and Murray Bartlett, as well as all-around cool stars John Malkovich and Juliette Lewis. I don’t know what all the creepy blue everything is about, but I’m excited to find out. Just, you know, best not to accept any strange invitations from billionaires in the coming years. As a precaution.

Portrait of Gay Lady on Fire

OK, but who is going to make this movie? It’s high-art “Mannequin” with a sapphic twist. Someone, anyone – I am begging you to make this movie! Boygenius star Lucy Dacus has announced her new solo album and its first single, “Ankles,” is out now. In addition to a great song about queer lust (hello, “pull me by the ankles to the edge of the bed), it’s also a great fantasy riff on “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” with Lucy as an escaped museum painting and “Bottoms” star Havana Rose Liu as her watchful, worried security guard. Yeah, I could watch 90-minutes plus of this dynamic no problem. So, who’s got some time and a camera and a really big dress?

Film Review: I Saw the TV Glow

I’m not truly a horror fan, so it took me longer than it should have to check out “I Saw the TV Glow.” The psychological thriller by trans, nonbinary, queer filmmaker Jane Schoenbrun is a spooky, stylish allegory about what it means to not live one’s authentic life. Couched in the the story of a shy 90s teen obsessed with a young adult show called “The Pink Opaque,” the film follows him through his life as he is seemingly haunted by the spectre of the supernatural show and its other world just beyond the reach of reality. Schoenbrun’s homages to fellow spooky genre masterpieces like Buffy and the David Lynch universe are easy to spot – from the Buffy font down to beloved Buffy actress Amber Benson (and, hello, one of “The Pink Opaque” actresses is even named Tara). But what will stay with you is the internal horror caused by unacknowledged gender dysphoria, and the possibilities for those who live out instead. Also, it’s cool and looks amazing – it often seems as if the entire thing is somehow lighted by neon. And then there’s the surprise guest appearance by none other than Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. “I Saw the TV Glow” will keep you guessing like that, and thinking.

Music Monday: Twin Peaks Edition

With all the horror of *waves arms at America*, I did not have a chance to properly pay my respects to the passing of David Lynch. Along with Jimmy Carter and a couple others, the avant-garde auteur was among my few remaining favorite straight white men. His death earlier this month leaves a hole, but as he himself said – keep your eye on the donut and not the hole. So the donut of David Lynch’s life was his extraordinary creativity, his endless curiosity, his embrace of the absurd. Yet for all the darkness and mystery in his work, there was an essential kindness that often shone through as well.

I have been a fan of his work since “Twin Peaks” blew my little teenage mind when it debuted in 1992 and became obsessed with the show and subsequent film and even the 2017 reboot (which, while it had some diminishing returns was classic Lynch none the less). “Mulholland Drive” remains a masterpiece in through-the-looking-glass surrealist storytelling. I love that he believed things should be weird for the sake of being weird. And weird it certainly was.

What I also loved is how he incorporated music to create his dream/nightmare/WTF-scapes. And nothing typified that more than his collaboration with Julee Cruise. He used the singer and former B-52’s touring member’s song “Falling” as the iconic theme to “Twin Peaks.” She appeared in the series, movie and reboot before her passing in 2022. That music is now part of the soundtrack of my life. Even today all I have to hear is those first few atmospheric opening notes to be right back in the Pacific Northwest ready to drink some damn fine coffee while gently cradling a log. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Someday, America. Happy weekend, all.

Presidential Redux

This song came out in 2007 and fucking hell if it isn’t even more relevant today. Also, if you were wondering what made this song gay – well, besides the part about hating your own daughter if she was gay – let’s not forget that the original album version featured backing vocals and guitar by none other than the Indigo Girls, Emily Saliers and Amy Ray. I just wish this wasn’t even more applicable 18 years later. We sincerely do not learn, do we?

Never Owned

Look, I said it would take a little time for me to get back to the queer joy. So I’ve decided to take a solid week. But, lest you think I’ve forgotten what it feels like, please enjoy 17-year-old budding lesbian Lesley Gore (RIP) belting out a self-determination anthem for the ages. Sixty-two years later, here we are still singing this tune as a reminder to all those who think otherwise. I say we all become ungovernable. We’re free, and we love to be free.

How It Feels To Be Free

Here is a little fortification for our hearts, minds and spines from the inimitable Nina Simone for what lies ahead. Will I get back to posting about joyous queer pop culture ephemera? Yes, of course. But, not gonna lie. It may take a minute. Until then, courage.

Music Monday: FDT

Anyway, please enjoy my official soundtrack for the next four years. Good luck, America. We’re going to need it. Fuck Donald Trump, forever. Unhappy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Good Riddance) Crush

Look, I know this whole week has been like being trapped in the waiting room for the wake for democracy, but it isn’t all bad news in 2025. It was just last month we were celebrating the pie-in-the-face spirit of 1970s gay rights activists against the original celebrity hatemonger Anita Bryant. And wouldn’t you know it, ding dong the witch is finally dead. The former OJ spokeswoman and avowed bigot died at age 84 last week. All I can say is, I hope they serve flaming pies in hell. And while she is hopefully being served a plateful this very moment, please enjoy Carol Burnett spoofing that orange-loving bigot back in the Seventies. Damn, what is it about that color and the worst people in the world? Happy at-least-Anita-Bryant-is-dead weekend, all.

Lesbian Street

Let’s keep these good gay vibes going, right? So to continue to prove that nice things can still happen (especially for LGBTQ+ people) in 2025, here is even more queer joy. The 55th season of “Sesame Street” debuts today with none other than celesbian extraordinaire Reneé Rapp. Muppets and lesbians, together as they should be! And Reneé is not the only queer celebrity to appear this season. Also guesting will be Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness and tennis legend Billie Jean King. Yeah – I know Max has dropped the venerable children’s series and after this season will stop airing its new episodes. Reality continues to be just the biggest bummer. But, at least there are queers and muppets for now. I’ll take all the sunny days I can find.

Wickedly Gay

And now, for some good news for a change. Who wants to hand out some toaster ovens? So, we already knew that the “Wicked” cast was, like, almost too gay to function. But besides the movie’s marquee queers (you know, star Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba, leading heartthrob Jonathan Bailey as Fiyero, leading Galinda/Glinda bestie Bowen Yang as Pfannee), did you know the movie’s supporting cast was also gay as the day is long? So who else is family?

How about Galinda/Glinda other bestie Shenshen played by Bronwyn James who is happily married to a woman and brought her wife Katherine-Alice James to the “Wicked” premiere. And there’s Elphaba’s sister Nessarose played by Marissa Bode who brought her partner Wren to the Golden Globes. So while Ariana and that munchkin boy are together, I think the rest of the cast needs queer retreat where they play episodes of “The L Word” and “Queer As Folk” on a loop while also dancing to vintage Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. What? You know that sounds fun. So I guess we have our answer to whether “Wicked” could possibly get any gayer. Now, who is in charge of sending out the toaster ovens this month?