The Palmer rises

So, did you hear that squeal sometime last night? That was the unrepentant scream of gay gals everywhere welcoming another friend into the fold. Last night at the Canadian Screen Awards Zoie Palmer thanked her female partner and their son publically for the first time, which was a subtle but unmistakable coming out. Now, you’d probably have to follow Zoie closely to realize the significance of her thanking “my incredible partner, Alex, and my beautiful son Luca.” In the pressroom afterward not a single reporter mentioned it. But we’re no amateurs. We’re lesbians. We know everybody who has ever considered kissing a girl’s business. So the “Alex” was Alex Lalonde and son was Luca, Lalonde’s from a previous relationship.



While she went more the Jodie Foster route than the Ellen Page route of coming out, it’s welcome none the less.

Last month, Zoie posted on her Facebook Page that she would be boycotting the Sochi Olympics because of Russia’s anti-LGBT policies. She said her decision was based on the “bigger picture” taking precedence.

It is my unequivocal belief that basic human rights and equality for ALL is paramount. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and queer individuals must be granted these rights and must never be told not to speak of who they are, must never be silenced, ignored, abused, attacked, alienated and treated like second class people. It not okay….

In retrospect, this now seems quite significant.

Now, I know some folks may argue that she was never “in.” But there were still more than enough surprised responses on my Twitter feed to show that what is common knowledge to some is not to everyone. And being out to friends and/or family, but not out publicly is still not all the way out. It just isn’t. So this simple acknowledgement still matters. It matters because every single person – every Ellen DeGeneres, every Jodie Foster, every Maria Bello, every Ellen Page, every Zoie Palmer – who comes out and declares herself means someone, somewhere feels a little less alone. Someone sees she isn’t so terribly different. Someone knows it can get better. It matters, it will always matter. It’s something to be proud of each and every time.

So, yes, squealing is most definitely in order. Also, Zoie darling, we’re going to be holding you personally accountable for the authenticity of all of the lady loving scenes on “Lost Girl” from now on. Just kidding! Mostly! (Not really, we will definitely judge.) With love!

I kid because I’m so incredibly happy and haven’t stopped smiling since last night. Congratulations to Zoie and her beautiful family. We’re proud of you, lady.

p.s. Because I know you’ll Google it anyway, here are Zoie and Alex at the 2012 Toronto International Film Festival.



p.p.s. “Lost Girl” executive producer and all-around fandom balladeer Emily Andras tweeted out a link to an article about Zoie’s Fan Choice Award win from last night which also mentioned her thanking of her partner Alex Lalonde and son, Luca. So let that be the period on the end of the accusations by some folks that I was “prying” or “invading” into Zoie’s private life. I was doing neither, simply reporting what is genuine news. A search of my entire archive of posts, recaps and articles about “Lost Girl” and Zoie Palmer (both here on Dorothy Surrenders and on AfterEllen) will find exactly zero references to Zoie’s personal life or speculation about her sexual orientation before this point. ZERO. But when someone famous make the conscious choice to acknowledge her same-sex relationship publicly, it is equally important that we acknowledge it back. Each person who comes out makes the world a more open, more honest, more welcoming place and that matters. I in no way criticize Zoie for not doing it sooner, everyone is allowed her own time and own space to make these decisions. That is respecting her private life. But now that she has made it public I could not be happier for her and about it. Visibility matters, and that is what we celebrate here today.