Vacation Vixen: Shirley Chisholm

We stand, all of us, on the shoulders of those who came before us. May we honor their hard work and historic audacity. So today, let’s all give a warm thanks to Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman elected to the House of Representatives in 1968 and the first Black woman to run for president for a major party in 1972. The first, but her legacy has ensured definitely not the last.

Vacation Vixen: Kamala Harris

Please, America. Please vote for the woman this time. Please vote for the Black and Indian women. Please vote for the best and most accomplished candidate* (*major party, I don’t have time for quibbles today folks). Please vote for the only candidate who will uphold our Democracy. Please vote for the only candidate who isn’t a racist. Please, America. Vote and finally reject that sad, vengeful, bigoted orange excuse for a human being. History must beat hate, once and for all. Kamala Harris for President. Period.

p.s. Also, come on, you know you want to see me write about President Straight Bette Porter for the next four-to-eight years. Right? Right.

Vacation Vixen: Joni’s Gay Mafia

Like, can you imagine the combined queer energy in that room? Brandi Carlile, Elton John, Chappell Roan and Lucy Dacus? Gay Mafia, indeed.

Vacation Vixen: Angelina Jolie

Today is my birthday. And Angelina is pretty much the most beautiful woman in the world. But, in that suit? Now that is what I call a gift. Happy birthday to me.

Hands on your knees.. 🔥 #AngelinaJolie pic.twitter.com/v1jy1A4ukK

— Let Her Go ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (@angeltresjolie_) October 18, 2024

Vacation Vixen: Willow & Tara

Happy Halloween! My two favorite lesbian witches (sorry, Agathario, but these are the O.G.s – and, again, is that redundant?) were truly pioneers in the televised sapphic arts. My pride in their place in LGBTQ+ history remains separate from any disappointment I may feel about their series creator. But back to wicca good and love the earth and women power. Enjoy the magic and candy today, kittens.

Vacation Vixen: Agathario

Yep, I’m fleeing for the election. Kidding, I’m going home for my birthday this year. And also kind of fleeing from the election. Look, I don’t judge your coping mechanisms. As I was saying… I am fleeing. But I wouldn’t flee without leaving you with some vixens. Tonight being the finale of “Agatha All Along,” I thought I’d leave you with a little Agathario treat. Sure, I can’t dream of a happy ending for our sapphic witches (wait, is that redundant?) But we all deserve a Disney ending, right? I mean, they let Aubrey show off that decolletage. And Agatha called herself not a “straight lady.” So, maybe anything is possible when you wish upon a lesbian star.

P.s. JFC, give Patti LuPone ALL of the awards for her performance in last week’s episode. “I loved being a witch.” Damn. This show is truly something. And that something is stone cold gay (and good!).

My Vote, Your Vote, Our Vote

The older I get, the clearer I get about voting. Mind you, I have always voted. I even got to vote before I turned 18, because I was going to be out of the country on election day on my school foreign exchange trip. So I got to cast my absentee ballot early.

And I have voted in every single election since – save for one very small local primary I forgot was happening more than a dozen years ago – because I believe it is our duty as citizens. But, more than that, I have come to understand it as our duty as humans. Because a vote isn’t just an expression of political ideology – though of course we love to wrap emotion and identity and philosophy into each decision. But what a vote really is the physical exercise of how we systematically care for one another.

Our political system, as endlessly imperfect as it is, is still our best collective mechanism for change. As such, as we sadly know too well, it is also extremely resistant to change. Which is where voting comes in. Our democracy (except for the Electoral College, which – don’t get me started…) relies on an informed citizenry who votes. That more than half to a third of all eligible voters simply don’t bother to vote in any given election – honestly it blows my mind, but in some ways I get it.

I especially get it if people don’t vote out of hopelessness. That doesn’t mean I accept the lazy “both sides are the same” arguments. But I understand that years, decades, centuries of circumstances not changing for the most marginalized people can lead one to think nothing is possible.

But here is the thing. The entire history of humanity – and this country – has been a slow, and very painful march toward more inclusivity. It has not always been linear, nor has the progress always been significant or ever nearly enough. But slowly, slowly (and, yes, so very painfully) more and more people in this country are able to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

We have so much work to do. But almost none of that can happen if Trump wins again. That pathetic excuse for a human being with the Supreme Court-annointed immunity of a God-King and every lever of our federal and judicial branch at his disposal? It’s not hyperbole to think we’d stop making civil rights progress altogether – at least for the duration of his presidency/dictatorship, if not the remainder of our lifetimes.

So, again, that’s where voting comes in again. Yes, it’s imperative to vote for Kamala Harris and repudiate Donald Trump at the polls. Yes, we must rid our politics of the hateful MAGA cult. Yes, we must hold the House and win back the Senate. Yes, we must flip statehouses and city councils and school boards.

We do this not because we think Democrats or progressive candidates are magicians. Voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz won’t automatically solve all of our inequalities. But they are the only candidates who stand a chance of winning who can be pushed, and forcefully prodded if needed, to be better. And while marginally better may not feel like nearly enough, especially with the weight of so much suffering in our world, it is still infinitely better than the alternative.

And that, that is my whole philosophy of voting. I vote to do the most good for the most people. Each ballot I cast is a calculation. No, I may not agree with every single policy proposal or political stance of every politician I vote for. And, trust me, I’ve been plenty disappointed by Democrats over the years. Like, grow a damn backbone and stop thinking corporations will save us. But I am also a realist, and I know exactly how slow that moral arc of the universe has proven to be. It’s up to us to make sure it keeps arcing toward justice – and we must work to bend faster.

So, in this election, the choice could not be simpler. A vote for anyone other than Kamala this election is a vote that says my political ideologies are more important to me than the people who will be hurt by a second Trump presidency. Which, hey, this is a free country, you can feel however you want to feel and vote however you want to vote. For those voting for him, that harm is the feature, and not a bug, of his candidacy – obviously. But for the rest of us you can’t deny that his policies will hurt Black people, Brown people, Muslims, other POC, immigrants, women, LGBTQ+ people and trans/gender nonconforming people especially.

Plus, anyone who wants generals like Hilter can never be allowed back in the White House. Period.

So with one week to the election, and having already cast my ballot, I still believe in the possibility of a better America. And electing Kamala and finally defeating Trump (again!), well, that’s the first step toward any kind of brighter days. Vote Harris-Walz 2024. LFG.

Music Monday: Joni Jams

Joni Mitchell never lies pic.twitter.com/iLwDq0SS1Z

— ChadGPT (@Chaddomatic) October 20, 2024

Well, if Joni says it, it has got to be true. I love how much love Joni Mitchell has been receiving on her comeback of comebacks. And I love that her recent Hollywood Bowl appearance included backup vocals by Elton John, Meryl Streep, Annie Lennox and more. Like, they’re her backup. Amazing. And that’s not even mentioning this epic backstage jam. It’s wonderful to see the world hand Joni all her flowers. Brandi Carlile continues to be the biggest cheerleader and supporter as the Joni Jam continues. Happy Monday, kittens. Oh, and fuck Donald Trump.

My Weekend Crush

Does anyone have fame figured out more than Elvira Mistress of the Dark/Cassandra Peterson? She is a full-on iconic character. Beloved! Idolized! Instantly recognizable! Then when she takes off the wig and makeup, practically anonymous. When Cassandra came out a few years ago, it was another one of those proud “Score one for the home team!” moments. Having the OG mistress of darkness be family is just another one of those reminders that we’re everywhere, we’re everyone. And, as Elvira proves, we’re cool (and spooky, in a cool way) as hell! And we can throw shade at so-called Good Witches like the Scream Queen she is. Happy almost Halloween weekend, all.

Rocky Lady Picture Show

I really have to scrape the 90s memory banks to remember Christy Martin. I vaguely recall her being a trailblazing boxing star, and her pioneering Sports Illustrated cover definitely rings some bells. But, sadly, most of my remaining boxing knowledge from that era revolves around Mike Tyson biting off a chunk of Evander Holyfield’s ear. So I think I somehow missed Martin’s harrowing life story and eventual coming out.

This is all to say that I’m rather excited about the new Christy Martin biopic starring Sydney Sweeney. Now, I mostly know Sydney as one of the terrifyingly cool teens on the first season of “White Lotus.” I never saw her hit rom-com “Anyone But You” (mostly because she and Glen Powell just look so much like people who would have bullied me in high school – even if they’re actually lovely….) and I don’t need the anxiety of watching young people make bad decisions that is “Euphoria.” But I know she has been proactively building her career, producing her own projects etc.

So Sydney has turned herself into a bit of a Muscle Mommy to transform for the role which I am definitely not mad about. She told Deadline Christy’s story is “powerful and emotional” and that she “not only legitimized female boxing, she overcame gender stereotypes, and fought through emotional, physical, and financial abuse.” And, don’t worry, it’s gonna be gay. Director David Michôd said the story will be about Christy “as a young gay woman in small-town West Virginia in the 1990s. She came from a relatively conservative family and wasn’t allowed to be who she was so she used boxing as a vehicle to express herself and her rage. She had to make some dangerous and fundamental compromises in her life, the most important of which was marrying an incredibly dangerous man.”

And the cherry on top of this Big Gay Biopic? Katy O’Brian, everyone’s reigning Muscle Mommy Crush thanks to “Love Lies Bleeding,” will play her boxing rival and eventual wife Lisa Holewyne. And Merritt Wever from “Nurse Jackie” (and another notably Bury Your Gays victim in “The Walking Dead”) is also in this thing which makes me happy because I lowkey adore her, period.

So, thoughts? Who has a better memory and recalls Christy’s glory days clearly? I’m just happy for my little gray cells that they’re making a movie – and the muscles don’t hurt either.

We Are the Champions

You know me, I’m not much for the sportsball. But if it’s women’s sportsball, well, you know that’s entirely different. I’ve gotten into the WNBA this season and very much enjoyed the playoffs and finals (yes, fine, sometimes I only watch during the playoffs because – damn seasons are long and these travel food shows won’t watch themselves).

Anyway, this is just a long way of saying, how about that NY Liberty vs. Minnesota Lynx Game 5? And of course it went to overtime. Of course. While I wasn’t necessarily rooting for either team (saving my allegiances for the Valkyrie, Bay Area baby!), I was rooting for a good game. And despite a bit of a shooting rut for some of the stars, we certainly got that.

Also, I love that two of the championship team’s biggest players are out, proud and happily celebrating for all to see with their partners and families. While the WNBA has certainly undergone some growing pains this unprecedented year (like, maybe don’t let “fans” be racist and homophobic, m’kay?), it also has evolved into one of the most inclusive leagues out there. We can only hope that as the WNBA’s popularity grows, so will its embrace of diversity and equity for all its players.

So congrats to the Liberty. Congrats to Breanna Stewart and her wife (and adorable baby) and to Finals MVP Jonquel Jones and her fiancée. Everyone watches women’s sportsball!

Political Rumours

With two weeks until probably the most consequential election of our lifetimes (so far, alas), how about a little political humor? Not really in the mood? Well, what if I told you the political humor included Cate Blanchett? OK, now you’re interested. I don’t really know much about this movie other than it’s a satire of the G7 summit of world leaders. Cate plays the German Chancellor, and the movie also features Alicia Vikander speaking Swedish, zombie bog bodies and a giant, pulsing brain. Hey, can’t be any weirder than our current political landscape.

Music Monday: Good Luck, Straight Babes

Straight gals sure love “Good Luck, Babe!” don’t they? Like I love Kelly Clarkson and Miranda Lambert fangirling over Chappell Roan’s CompHet anthem. Because while these very straight ladies are probably relating to this song because of their respective divorces and other heterosexual relationship whatnots, this song is so clearly about the regret this woman feels about her choice to marry a man instead of, you know, Chappell Roan. But, then, that’s the power of art. When people are able to empathize with an experience that isn’t their own experience – well, gosh, that’s how we, as a society, become just a little better, kinder and more inclusive? So keep singing this song, straight ladies. We totally know the feeling. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Lest we forget, Republicans continue to bash trans people this election season in an increasingly desperate attempt to scare voters. Oogity,-boogity, the scary Trans Police will sex change your child in SCHOOL! Boo-hiss! I mean, The Fuck? Which is why it’s more important than ever to support our trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming friends, family and other folks. As queer people who fall under The Big Gay Umbrella, we all know what it’s like to be used as a boogey-man wedge issue. And we all (should) know inequality for some of us, is inequality for all of us. Also, you think the people who still use “queers” as an insult will distinguish between a gay person and a trans person when the bashing starts? Absolutely not. LGBTQ+ is inclusive for a reason. We all deserve respect and the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. May the ugly days of using any of the LGBTQ+ family to scare Americans into hating other Americans soon become an ugly relic of the past. And until then, let the always amazing Laverne Cox (who looks WOW, I might add) school ya. Bigots, beware. Happy weekend, all.