Would you like something adorable that isn’t actually gay but is definitely gay adjacent and also did I mention adorable? Now many of you may know Allison Tolman from the first season of the “Fargo” TV series (or “Emergence”). But I know and love her from the very little-seen “Downward Dog” which was told from the perspective of Allison’s character’s dog and omfg was so sweet and I kind of hate the universe for not watching this show. Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, so recently Allison was on Seth Meyer’s show and told the story of her accidental coming out. Not only did she accidentally post that she came out, she did it on National Coming Out Day and then turned off her phone for a couple hours. Aw, the straights say the darndest things. Unrelated, but I would kill for Allison and Melanie Lynskey to play sisters in a project. Make it happen, universe! Then I might almost forgive you for the “Downward Dog” thing. Almost.
p.s. Is anyone watching “St. Denis Medical” on NBC? It looks kinda funny, but I’m kinda maxed out on network shows. Worth it? I don’t want to be making others “Downward Dog” mistake here.
Did you know “Imagine Me & You” turns 20 this year? T-W-E-N-T-Y. The 2005 rom-com remains a gold standard for lesbian rom-coms thanks largely to its hugely likeable (and talented – more on that later) cast. I rewatched IMAY again over the holidays, my first rewatch in quite a while. And goodness if it still isn’t charming as all get out. PLUS, 20 years on and this cast has done exceptionally well for themselves? How well?
Here’s a little Where Are They Now, Lesbian Edition for the IMAY cast.
Lena Headey as Luce:
While we all know her as the hottest florist in all of England/The Universe, heterosexual folks know her as Cersei on “Game of Thrones.” Up next up for our florist/queen is period Western drama “The Abandons” from “Sons of Anarchy” honcho Kurt Sutter. While I’m not really a Western drama kinda gal, at least it’s not another “Western drama” from “Yellowstone” creator Taylor Sheridan. Plus this one also stars Gillian Anderson, so, yeah. I am watching that.
Piper Perabo as Rachel:
Speaking of Taylor Sheridan, Piper has played an environmental activist on “Yellowstone” for the show’s last two seasons. I am happy Piper is gainfully employed. I am also happy Piper continues to be an outspoken political activist in real life. I just wish she’d join a show I have any inclination to watch. But “Covert Affairs” was fun while it lasted, back in the early 2010s.
Matthew Goode as Heck:
As Heck, Matthew played the extremely rare likeable cis-het white male romantic also-ran. Since then he has remained in constant demand and you’ve seen him in “The Good Wife,” “Downton Abbey” and more recently “The Discovery of Witches.” So, rest assured, Heck’s doing fine, don’t worry about him. I haven’t.
Celia Imrie as Rachel’s mom Tessa:
Am I the only one who regularly confuses Celia with Imelda Staunton? I mean, they even starred in a movie (2017’s “Finding Your Feet”) as sisters – sisters. Anyway, Celia has found herself a regular in several rom-com cinematic universes over the course of her career including “Bridget Jones” 1-4, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” 1-2, and “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.” Raise a glass of chardonnay to that, ladies.
Anthony Stewart Head as Rachel’s dad Ned:
He will always be Rupert Giles to me. But he is also billionaire asshole Rupert Mannion from “Ted Lasso.” Was IMAY the villain origin story for both Lena and Tony’s careers? Also, you have to think having him called “Rupert” was at least a little homage to our favorite Watcher. Or at least it is in my head.
Darren Boyd as Heck’s bestie Coop:
If you were still harboring any strong feelings about Coop’s essential grossness and creepiness, Darren playing Eve Polastri’s obnoxious and traitorous MI5 boss Frank Haleton on “Killing Eve” may have finally satisfied them. His demise at Eve’s hands felt extremely personal. Extremely.
Sue Johnston as Luce’s mom Ella:
Like you can make a list of British actors credits without multiple “Downton Abbey” mentions? No, you can not. Sue has played Gladys Denker, the lady’s maid for none other than the Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (RIP, Dame Maggie Smith) throughout the series and movies.
Boo Jackson as Rachel’s sister H:
IMAY remains the only feature credit on Boo’s IMDB, but in recent years she has appeared in a series of shorts. I also found her Instagram and she is still a performer and also queer/queer friendly – at the very least. We see you, little rainbow flag.
Vinette Robinson as Rachel’s Work Friend/Bridemaid Zina:
While we haven’t seen her much in the US since, British audiences have seen Vinette in “Waterloo Road,” “Sherlock,” “Black Mirror,” “Doctor Who” and “The Lazarus Project” – fine, I’ve heard of a couple of those.
Sharon Horgan as Rachel’s Other Work Friend/Cranky Bridesmaid Beth:
I am ashamed to say it took me until this winter’s rewatch to realize that perpetually cranky about dating Beth was none other than Sharon Horgan. The prolific Irish actor-writer-director-creator has become a bit of a powerhouse in the past two decades. Her critically acclaimed “Bad Sisters” is on Apple TV+, which makes me cranky because ugh do I also have to subscribe to Apple TV+ now too? I’m thrilled for her success and chuffed (did I use that right, across the pond friends?) it all started with little IMAY. Legit, it was her first film.
Eva Birthistle as Luce’s bestie Edie:
Luce’s super cute bestie who is so gay she’s ecstatic also remains gainfully employed – and as one of the sisters on Sharon Horgan’s “Bad Sisters.” I wonder if they met on IMAY and remained friends all these years and are now culminating that friendship with these sisterly roles. In my own internal cinematic universe, Luce and Rach regularly hang out with Beth and Edie (who became a couple after Beth realized her inability to find a suitable male partner was just latent homosexuality).
So, surprised by anyone 20 years on? Also, 20 years. Sweet suffering Sappho, we’re old. But at least we’re still super super gay – in both the queer and ecstatic senses.
Look, I told you I was obsessed, OBSESSED, with Doechii and I really, really am. And how could you not be, after both that Tiny Desk concert and her stunning Colbert show performance last month. She did this whole number while tied to her two other dancers. Like, come on. COME ON. Just a reminder that when we allow humans the space and support to be all of themselves sometimes they can produce wondrous things. Thank the universe for art and women. Happy Monday, kittens.
So perhaps the biggest revelation of the Grammys – at least for me, I know all the cool kids already knew, but I claim to be neither – was Doechii. The Tampa native and self-described Swamp Princess became only the third woman ever to win the best rap album Grammy last weekend. But, damn, if a star wasn’t born instantly. And that’s hard to do when Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Cynthia Erivo and Janelle Monae – not to mention so many others – are also there.
So after seeing both her powerful speech and her mesmerizing performance, I looked Doechii up and stumbled across her recent NPR Tiny Desk Concert and now, well, I am obsessed. OBSESSED.
Why so obsessed? Well her story is perfectly tailored for the American Dream factory. Fired from her retail job five years ago. A year later one of her songs went viral on TikTok. A year later she was signed by Capitol Records. And, you know, the rest is Grammy history. Her music is fierce, funny, and fierce some more.
Oh, and did I mention Doechii is queer and has a girlfriend? The rapper came out as bisexual in a GQ interview from 2022 (I mean, her lyrics gave it all away before, but it’s nice to be official). And, hot damn, her all-female backing band at Tiny Desk was so fucking fire. Also, to be shallow and all, her face et al is, you know, very very good. The world is a lot. Find joy in where you can. This week, that joy is all Doechii. Woo-sah, indeed. Happy weekend, all. And Valentine's, if you're into that sort of thing.
p.s. How do I make her growl my new breaking news notification tone? Because, “G-rrrrrrrr.”
How about a big old queer roundup of roles for big old queers to round out the week? Yeah, say that five times fast. As we all search desperately for things to look forward to in the next four years, here are some projects and actors who I am thrilled remain busy for the foreseeable future.
Let’s start things off with Elliot Page, who is on a bit of a run what with his signing a deal with Bell Media and being super cool and all. Next up will be the high-profile Christopher Nolan adaptation of The Odyssey. The ancient Greek poem by Homer will also star – among many, many stars – Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron and Samantha Morton. No idea yet which character Elliot will play, but with a cast like that it seems any role is a good role. After the “Emilia Pérez” debacle, it’s nice to see trans actors making good headlines in what we at least hope will be a very good project.
Next, more high profile queer casting news. Pansexual actress Jena Malone will star in a highly anticipated new series from “Stranger Things” creators The Duffer Brothers. This news made me happy for a number of reasons including but definitely not limited to the fact that it alerted me to Jena’s pansexuality. I had missed her 2022 coming out somehow. But I’ve been a fan since “Contact” and have always admired her independent steak. Also did you catch her in last year’s “Love Lies Bleeding?” Her new series, “The Boroughs,” has been described as “Stranger Things” but in a retirement home. Joining Jena will be Geena Davis, Alfre Woodard, Alfred Molina and Bill Pullman, among many others as a “group of (older) misfits who fight an otherworldly evil.” So, the Upside Down but with arthritis and reading glasses, I guess. No news yet on Jena’s character, but at 40 she seems too young to be a resident. Maybe she’ll be staff? Who know but just like with “Stranger Things” I hope and expect there to be prominent queer characters.
And finally, more gays and more laughs are coming to the series remake of “The Burbs.” Based on the 1989 black comedy by the same name starring Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher, the TV reboot has already announced its lead queer star Keke Palmer. But now they’ve also added Paula Pell. Two queers, one show! The wildly charismatic Keke first got my full attention in Jordan Peel’s 2022 “Nope” and is currently starring alongside SZA in “One of Them Days,” which I can’t wait to catch once it comes to streaming. Paula is fresh off the sadly canceled “Girls5Eva” (come on, isn’t there another streamer out there who wants to experience “Yesternights” for themselves!) and basically always plays middle-aged gay lady so let’s hope that trend continues here.
If nothing else, it’s nice to see a bunch of gays gainfully employed in our current political hellscape.
While this isn’t exclusively gay good news, Buffy’s queer pedigree remains historic so I’m counting it. Plus, in the comics Buffy herself explored her bisexual/pansexual side (having relations with technically dead people/vampires also seems pretty pan, right?). So imagine my delight at the news that a legit Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot (not like that stalled 2018 one) is in the works at Hulu with Sarah Michelle Gellar attached to appear and Oscar-winner Chloé Zhao to direct the pilot. Writing, producing and showrunning will be sister team Nora Zuckerman and Lila Zuckerman. And guess whose name is nowhere to be found on the reboot? Yep, it’s Joss. No more marzipan in his pie plate, bingo!
A Whedon-Free Buffy is – after all the past revelations about his behavior to particularly the female cast – is pretty much the dream. And here it is happening from a team whose resumes are, quite frankly, awesome. Chloé's “Nomadland” is a beautiful testament to the innate human desire to live free – but not in that bullshit live-free-or-die way too many right-wing jackoffs think we do. And while her Marvels outing with “The Eternals” was probably a little too cerebral and slow-paced for the MCU, her vision remains singularly stunning. Meanwhile the Zukerman sisters’ credits includes the recent Natasha Lyonne Columbo-esque series “Poker Face” and the sci-fi series “Fringe.” Also, have I mentioned they’re all women? Because, yeah, they’re all women. Finally, Buffy has come home where she belongs.
Not a ton is known about the reboot so far, but SMG will not be the lead star and instead appear in more of a supporting or recurring role as what I can only assume is the wise, elder Slayer. As you might recall, the final season activated all the Potentials, so into every generation a boatload of slayers is born. The new Buffy is expected to follow one of the newer Slayers. Is it too much to hope that they also bring back Willow as the wise, elder gay Wiccan too? I mean, if we’re finally getting that Joss-less Buffy, anything is possible.
Who needs some good gay news only this week? I sure do. How about the long-awaited – at least by me – return of “The Old Guard.” Five years after the Charlize Theron action film debuted, the immortal gang is all back for more labrys-swinging ass kickery. To which I say, damn, took you long enough. Now, if you recall the 2020 original, it was Action Charlize at the peak of her game (and with a peak alternative lifestyle haircut). She returns with an even gayer haircut (hello, a wolf cut/mullet, come on) for the sequel and I cannot wait. Like make July 2 get here now. Immediately, if not sooner.
“Old Guard 2” has comic series creator Greg Rucka return with the screenplay and has director-producer Victoria Mahoney step in for the amazing Gina Prince-Bythewood as director. Mahoney is the first female director on a Star Wars film after serving as second unit director on 2019’s “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.” For good measure, she was also the first Black woman director in the Star Wars franchise history too. Also joining the cast for the sequel is none other than The Bride herself, Uma Thurman. Action Uma and Action Charlize? Seriously, is it July 2 yet?
I am also excited for the sequel to give us more of Charlize’s Andy and her ex-teammate/girlfriend/ride-or-can’t-die Quynh, played by Veronica Ngô. I feel like after being chained underwater for 500 years these two would have a lot to process. I hope not only with battle axes. Though, just as a reminder, this is how Charlize looks wielding one.
Thanks to TikTok coming back (which, let me reiterate, is no thanks to the current P-Orange Turd-US), my favorite current song and really mood for 2025 is Lola Young’s “Messy.” If Brat Summer is over and dead, Messy Spring will soon be upon us. Though, I feel it’s truly a relatable vibe for all seasons. Happy messy Monday, kittens.
Finally, something to truly look forward to in 2025. “The Wedding Banquet” appears to be the rare queer film that both gay men and queer women can agree looks fucking fantastic. The remake of Ang Lee’s 1993 classic by the same name brings us into the present day as two queer couples fumble their way through a fake wedding ceremony to appease the traditional family. Sort of like “La Cage aux folles,” but without Robin Williams and with Bowen Yang.
This time around, not only is the majority of the cast actually queer as is its director Andrew Ahn (who last helmed the underrated “Fire Island”). Playing the lesbian half of the queer couple are out star Lily Gladstone and newly out Kelly Marie Tran and playing the gay half are Bowen Yang and Han Gi-chan. Rounding out the cast is Oscar winner Youn Yuh-jung and and the great and extremely gay friendly Joan Chen.
I’d like to note that Joan Chen continues to be among the most queer friendly straight actors out there having appeared over the years in everything from “Twin Peaks” to “Saving Face” to “What’s Cooking” to “Wild Side.” If you’ve never heard of the 1995 film “Wild Side” with Anne Heche and Christopher Walken, that’s OK – it wasn’t a great movie. But it did feature some unhinged chemistry between Joan and Anne in what I consider to be a precursor to the better queer film “Bound,” which came out a year later in 1996.
Right, so where was I? I look forward to this movie being too gay to function. Also, can we talk about all the gaysian (and two-spirits) excellence on display here? My only concern is, what else will I have to look forward to this year after April 18? Happy weekend, all.
Well, in case you missed last Sunday’s Grammy awards show, I can summarize it for you simply. The gals and the gays, particularly the gay gals, stole the show – again. I don’t know what it means to have two good Grammy shows in consecutive years (I mean, who would be surprised by an apocalypse at this point, honestly?) Last year we had Tracy Chapman and Brandi Carlile and boygenius (and Joni Mitchell, for the straights). This year we have Chappell Roan and Billie Eilish and Cynthia Erivo and Janelle Monae and Lady Gaga and Doechii and St. Vincent and Brittany Howard and Queen Latifah – am I missing any queer ladies, ladies? (Don’t worry, the straights had Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX and Raye and Shakira, if you’re into that sort of thing.)
And it was the women – gay and straight – who not only stole the show with their performances, but also with their show of solidarity against all the horrors of our current political/societal hellscape. Like Chappell speaking out to shame record companies into paying its developing artists a liveable wage and health insurance. Or Doechii speaking out to support Black women and dark-skinned Black women in particular. Or Shakira speaking out to send her solidarity to all the immigrants. Or Lady Gaga speaking out to say trans and queer people deserve love and support. Or Alicia Keyes speaking out to praise the power and beauty of diversity and inclusion.
Also special props to Janelle for speaking out to drag Nelly for performing at that Orange Turd’s inauguration at the Grammys afterparties. Ladies and gentlemen and every other gender identity which absolutely exists, this is exactly the energy we expect from our most celebrated artists right now.
Janelle Monae calls out Nelly during the GRAMMYs after-party for performing at Trump’s inauguration:
“F**k you Nelly, you sold out. I used to think you were cool, but now you look like a motherf**king fool.” pic.twitter.com/GQxnGVy7n9
It’s a refreshing change from the Golden Globes, which was relatively free of high-profile political statements. Granted, that was 15 days before the horrors of Orange Turd’s 2.0 administration began. But, shit, if we didn’t all know this was coming – at least if we were paying attention.
Anyway, I wish I could share some of these performances but in one of those truly genius corporate titan moves, you can only find the concert videos on the Grammys websites and not even all of them either. Now if the Grammys would just stop having Trevor Noah host, because I find the way he roams through the audience making celebrity smalltalk extremely cringe – as the young folks say. Also treating the return of The Weeknd to the Grammys like the second-coming of Martin Luther King Jr? Even more cringe. See, this is why you leave hosting, and everything else, to the gays gals from now on, Grammys.
Woof, well we’re in Week 3, I guess. In case you’re looking for some good news – especially good trans news (no, I’m not talking about you, “Emilia Pérez”) – amid the onslaught of The Worst news, here is something to smile about at least. In rare positive news for the LGBTQ+ folks these days, Elliot Page is partnering with Canada’s largest media company Bell Media to bring more queer/trans inclusive shows to TV. His production company Pageboy Productions will create original scripted shows to run on Bell’s main channel CTV and streamer Crave.
“Partnering with Bell Media feels like a natural evolution for Pageboy Productions. We’re excited to create captivating content that amplifies voices that deserve to be heard. This collaboration will allow us to tell powerful, genuine stories that challenge perspectives, and inspire audiences both at home and internationally.”
Would ya look at that. Instead of rolling back so-called “DEI” everything like the USA, Canadian media said bring us more queer and inclusive stories. Crazy, right? Canada’s leader also isn’t signing nonsense orders pretending there are only two genders. Inconceivable! Oh, Canada, how envious this American is of your everything right about now.
Look, our neighbors to the North have had to deal with a lot of our crap over the years. But they just keep cranking out great queer icons (k.d., Tegan and Sara, Elliot, et al) and giving us shows like “Lost Girl” and “Wynonna Earp.” And, of course, then there’s Anne of Green Gables. I’m so sorry about the whole 51st state thing. Rest assured that 75 million of us down here can’t stand President Orange Turd-US either. Please keep sending us your super gay TV.
p.s. Do you think the Oscars are gonna give us this kind of inclusivity and celebration of queer joy this year, like the JUNO’s did last year? Or are they just gonna give “Emilia Pérez” some awards and then pat themselves on the back?
Right, so what does it say about “Emilia Pérez” that I actually stopped watching right as the lesbian storyline started? Granted, I restarted and eventually finished it because I feel some sort of stupid sacred queer duty to watch all queer Oscar nominees. But, damn, you didn’t make it easy, film.
First things first, the premise of “Emilia Pérez” is like a mezcal-induced game of Mad Libs. What if a ruthless Mexican drug cartel boss was actually a trans woman who after gender affirming care then becomes the savior to the downtrodden people of Mexico that she had formerly murdered with impunity but then reveals herself to still be the abusive monster she was before transition only to wind up a kidnapping caper. And make it a musical. And don’t actually film most of it in Mexico. Or have that many Mexican actors at all. And instead let’s have this French guy who didn’t do any research about Mexico direct it instead. And did we mention Zoe Saldana and Selena Gomez are in it for some reason too? And it’s all in Spanish? And the one English-language song has the actual real not fake lyrics: “Hello, very nice to meet you/I'd like to know about sex change operation/I see, I see, I see/Man to woman or woman to man/Man to woman/From penis to vagina.”
Right, so, besides being reductive and convoluted and some French dude’s fever dream about trans existence, it’s also kind of boring. I really wasn’t kidding when I called it a night (before returning to it a couple days later) when Emilia and her new girlfriends met – to give us a wafer-thin lesbian storyline. That’s how uninvested in this film I felt. Mostly, while I believe it’s probably well intentioned on most of the participants' part, “Emilia Pérez” instead plays exactly like a cis-het person made it.
Its current Oscar run (snagging the most with a staggering 13 nominations – like have they actually watched all 2 hours and12 minutes – because I begrudgingly did) reminds me very much of another film some two decades ago – “Crash.” That film, hailed at the time as an important look at race relations by cis-het white Canadian filmmaker Paul Haggis, went on to beat “Brokeback Mountain” for best picture in 2004. Funny how now, more than 20 years later, nobody even mentions “Crash” as a culturally significant film. Funny how that works.
Anyway, I don’t know what movie is gonna take home the shiny naked man this year. I’m sure if “Emilia Pérez” wins lots of cis-het rich white guys in Hollywood will pat themselves on the back for being so inclusive. But what I’d rather see is the work made by and for queer and trans people be acknowledged with this much fanfare and award season love. Seriously, Academy, 13 nominations for this mess yet “I Saw the TV Glow” was right fucking there the whole time. THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. Anyway, I finally finished “Emilia Pérez,” and that’s all I have to say about that*.
*OK, one more thing, while I applaud the historic nature of Spanish star Karla Sofía Gascón’s nomination, I absolutely do not applaud her past posts Muslims, BLM and the Oscars inclusivity. Anyway, did I mention that “I Saw the TV Glow” was there the whole time instead? Because it didn’t have to be like this, Academy.
After that stirring Spanish-version of “Crying/Llorando,” how about an English-language take from the lesbian crooner extraordinaire k.d. lang? I wish k.d. was more musically active, but I totally understand perhaps wanting to stick to her side of the border these days. We’ll just be over here crying and missing her, I guess. Happy Monday, kittens.
Well, we made it through Week 2 of Orange Turd 2.0. Only 206 weeks (we hope) to go. So let’s use this time to slip once more into the dream/nightmare/WTF-scape of David Lynch’s mind. “Mulholland Drive” is one of my favorite Lynch offerings because who isn’t a sucker for murderous lesbianism? Life is endlessly strange and all-too-often dark. Not everything makes sense. But we can still find beauty within the chaos. The “Llorando” scene is a masterpiece in storytelling, with only an introduction of singer Rebekah Del Rio and no other spoken dialogue. But the sequence is the beginning of the end for Betty’s “reality” and return to Diane’s real reality. While I doubt we’ll all find a blue box and a secret key that whisks us into a different world – we certainly can dream, if only for a little while. Yes, I realize we’d probably want to reverse the order of her dream-box metamorphosis in this historical moment. But, life is strange and not fair. At least there’s still art. Happy weekend, all.
