Vacation Vixen: Isabela Merced

I have not started the second season of “The Last of Us,” despite it having all the Ellie and Dina goodness. I just couldn’t make myself tune back into the end of the world for fun while the real world was so decidedly unfun. But I plan to, someday. You know, maybe once the world starts to suck just a little less.

Vacation Vixen: Kristen Stewart & Léa Seydoux

Just a little gender-fuck Ozzie & Harriet cosplay for your Thursday.

Vacation Vixen: Jennifer Love Hewitt

It would be easy to lump Jennifer Love Hewitt into the 90s class of three-named stars who could sometimes feel interchangeable. But, of course, the truth was they were all real people just trying to make it in a business that already treats talent as interchangeable. What Jennifer and other stars of her era had to endure for their stardom – the blatant, unrelenting sexism, body shaming and sexualization was also not unique. But it was wrong, and sadly continues in shamefully similar ways today. Since she returned for the “I Know What You Did Last Summer” reboot, she walked the red carpet for the premier. And, of course, a bunch of mouth-breathing men had things to say on the Internet about her body and how it has changed in the last 28 years. Anyway, I’ll spare you the details. But suffice it to say she looked fucking hot and everyone who thinks otherwise can sincerely go fuck themselves.

Vacation Vixen: Sandra Oh

Well, I’m not really on vacation right now. I’m at a work conference, which then will turn into an extended weekend vacation. But the bottom line still stands, I’m away. As always, I will leave you with some lovely vixens. To start, how about the magnificent Sandra Oh. Wait, my sincerest apologies, Dr. Sandra Oh. The recent honorary doctorate recipient, all-time badass stopped by Stephen Colbert shortly after his (obviously political) cancellation was announced. And, well, did I mention I love her?

Music Monday: Raise Your Hand for Public Broadcasters

At the end of this week, I will be seeing our Girls again. I have truly lost count how many times I’ve seen Amy and Emily perform live. I must be closing in on an even dozen at this point. And each time is like a warm hug. These are the songs I sang to myself as I was figuring out who and what I was. The Indigo Girls were gay and political and right about it all from the very start They have never wavered in their activism. As much as their music is a rite of passage (see what I did there?) for burgeoning queer women, it’s also a clarion call. In this moment, when so much progress is being destroyed, it’s important to remember who we want to be – as a country. Are we a place where public broadcasting like NPR and PBS flourishes and keeps every community no matter how remote informed, where scientists are hard at work trying to solve our worst diseases and hardest problems at places we fund for the public good like the NIH and EPA and FDA and NOAA. Or are we just going to be a country that just spends its money on punishment and so-called protection, like ICE and Border Patrol and the rest of our overstuffed and overfunded military industrial complex. I know what that Orange Turd and his minions want and are doing. What will we do in response? One of the easiest things you can do is support your local NPR and PBS station. Make a donation, become a member. Listen, learn, fight back. Happy Monday, kittens.

Raise your hands
Raise your hands high
Don't take a seat
Don't stand aside
This time don't assume anything
Just go go go

Donate PBS: https://www.pbs.org/about/about-pbs/support-pbs
Donate NPR: https://www.npr.org/donations/support

My Weekend Crush

I know, more sportball stuff! If you’ve ever once had a real-life crush on a sporty girl, I’m pretty sure at some point you also had a crush on soccer superstar Tobin Heath. The US Women's National Team standout, two-time Olympic gold medalist and two-time World Cup champ is the embodiment of the lean, lanky sporty jock lesbian aesthetic. Her relationship with fellow soccer star and teammate Christen Press has been an open secret for close to a decade. And while they’ve been out for a while now, they only recently confirmed their marriage. Sneaky, sneaky. Tobin snuck in a my “wife and former teammate” while discussing her decision to retire from professional soccer earlier this month. So good for them, and her. Enjoy that retirement and we know. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: StudBudz Edition

As you well know, I’m not much for the sportball. But I have been coming to the slow realization in recent years that it’s not sports I dislike watching, it’s men playing sports. Women playing sports, well, that’s something entirely different. So imagine my delight at the unabashed queer joy that was the StudBudz 72-hour live stream during WBNA All-Star Weekend. For the uninitiated the StudBudz are Minnesota Lynx ballers and besties Courtney Williams and Natisha Hiedeman. I can’t get into all the shenanigans and couple confirmations but it was popular enough to get The New York Times to write a “Who are the StudBuz” thinkpiece. Which in this political climate feels like a real, solid win. Two out queer Black women, two masc female athletes, two unabashed studs being celebrated for being joyous and authentic ambassadors for their league – which just happens to be filled with other queer and Black women who kick ass on the court. Yeah, I don’t hate sports. I love women’s sports.

Much Meg

Let’s spread a little more queer joy because goodness we deserve it. I’m tickled at the rise of Megan Stalter. Social media star turned “Hacks” star turned burgeoning superstar, her rise has been fun and funny to watch. I’ve loved the evolution of Kayla on “Hacks” to be more than just the constant annoyance. And it’s been Megan’s vulnerability that has helped make Kayla more than a punchline. So I’m thrilled to see her career take off with her own show as star of the new Netflix series “Too Much.” While I’m not entirely sold on Lena Dunham (yes, I watched “Girls,” but still), I do enjoy Megan’s energy. Also, I know she’s coming back to “Hacks” next season so I can cheer on her other endeavors without fear. I believe she is what the kids today call a real bisexual baddie. Also, I’m tickled by how in love she is with her girlfriend. And anyone willing to wear a sash that says “Best Gay Actor” wins in my book.

Also, did you catch the glorious chaos of her Colbert interview last week?

p.s. Speaking of Colbert. We all knew his show got canceled because Trump made it a condition of his lawsuit settlement. And while that may on its surface seem like just another stupid, petty, and vindictive move from a small man with even smaller hands, what it is is textbook authoritarianism. Silence your critics, squash those who mock you. First they came for the late-night talk show hosts, but actually late night talk-show hosts are like the 200,000th thing he’s come for after immigrants, political protestors, former prosecutors, public and private universitiers, political rivals, scientists, humanitarian workers, park rangers, climate researchers, Rosie O'Donnell…

Tank Top Tuesday: Plain White Tank Edition

You know it, you love it. The plain white tank. No, we will not ever again call it that thing we used to call it in the late 1990s and early 2000s. But we can certainly still appreciate this classic. Though, just to be safe, how about we ban men from wearing them? You know, until we can figure out what is going on. There’s a lot of stuff we should ban them from, but I guess we gotta start somewhere. So, let us decree it, the plain white tank is for women only. Now, onto everything else. Until then, please enjoying these ladies exercising their right to bare arms. No, obviously, not that kind.

Renee Rapp

I’m mad at whoever didn’t turn the camera horizontal here. But, not at Renee. Never at Renee.

Samira Wiley

I could never look that cool leaning over to play pool with armholes that big. Respect.

Jodi Balfour

It just still makes me so stoked that she is married to Abbi Jacobson. I feel like “Broad City” Abbi would be just as stoked – probably more.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

More than 20 years later and SMG can still hit that Buffy pose flawlessly. Like if the apocalypse comes, I definitely think we should still beep her.

Melissa King

She looks great in a plain white tank and backwards ballcap AND she can cook? Nini, damn girl.

Lucy Dacus

New goal unlocked: Be serenaded with haunting, ethereal sad lesbian love songs by a hottie wearing a plain white tank top.

Kate Moennig

Forever Shane, Shane Forever.

Music Monday:

The thing about Joan Jett is, while she continues to be private about her personal life, I don’t think anyone could argue that she hasn’t been clear about her sexuality. You can’t cover “Crimson and Clover” like this, in 1981 no less, and not know what you’re doing. And you can’t continue to play it throughout your career, and present as she presents throughout her career, without making it abundantly clear. Joan Jett is queer icon, period. Anyone who might think otherwise, as she told The New York Times a while back, can eat me. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

I had heard about Andrea Gibson, the queer poet, before their death on Monday. But, because of the benign and, yes, also sometimes sadly malignant chaos of daily life, I had never gotten around to experiencing their work until after their passing. So, needless to say, this week has been both an education and memorial wrapped up in one. I have found myself moved to quiet tears at the ways Andrea expressed their joy for life even as it fought them tooth and nail for every extra day. But nothing, nothing, was more moving than watching Andrea read a poem they had written, “'Love Letter From the Afterlife,” for and to their wife, fellow poet Megan Falley. The small, “Jesus Christ,” from Meg at the end. May we all love and be loved so hard in our lives that it defies the afterlife. Happy weekend, all.

Movie Review: The Old Guard 2

I really, really wanted to love “The Old Guard 2.” Same cast, same mission – and now with added Uma! What’s not to like? Plus, hello, the payoff of Andy and Quỳnh reuniting after 500 years was gonna be epic, right? Well. Alas, the sequel lacks the kinetic elegance and narrative panache of the first film, due in no small part to the absence of original director Gina Prince-Bythewood.

This time around, Andy and Co. are battling The First Immortal, Discord – played by Uma Thurman. Discord, as her name suggests is generally bad news. I mean she’s an arms dealer so that tracks. The second film plays a little faster and looser with our immortal heroes’ immortality – they seem to heal much faster than they did in the first one. And some other parts of their mythology felt forced this time out. It also shamelessly underuses KiKi Layne as Nile, who learns from Discord that she is the last Immortal.

But my biggest beef with the sequel is how it still triptoes around Andy and Quỳnh’s romantic past. Sure, we can infer they were more than just besties who kicked ass together. Or, you know, “roommates.” Yet they continue to deny us any glimmer of their sapphic past together. And, SPOILER ALERT, Charlize and Veronica Ngô don’t even kiss once. For a film series that has so lovingly has depicted – and shown – the love between Joe and Nicky, two gay men who have loved and fought side-by-side for centuries, to refuse to show us the same with Andy and Quỳnh seems incongruous to say the least. I mean, look, I get it. Girlfriend is PISSED that Andy didn’t keep looking for her. And 500 years is a long time to process your relationship during watery torture. But, still – flashbacks exist, people.

I’m still glad I watched and, SPOILERS AGAIN, there is hope that the third film might finally give us the Andy/Quỳnh goodness we deserve. I mean, was this whole film just a long lesbian makeup session? We can only hope. At least Charlize kept swinging that labrys the whole movie. And she manages to make that mullet look, well, I mean, she’s still Charlize Theron after all.

Engayged

OK, fine, so I’ve been a bit of a Debbie Downer this week. It’s just all the masked heavily armed men grabbing people off the streets and throwing them into unmarked vans has just got me down for some reason. And, you know, everything else. But here’s some good gay news. Because we still deserve joy… I think. No, we definitely deserve joy. So mazel tov to Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley who got en-gay-ged last week. The singer/actress/Lesbian Jesus and former Bachelor contestant apparently have been dating since 2018, but publicly hard launched their relationship in 2022. So, good for them. No, really. Good for them. They look happy and sun-kissed and gay. I’ll take any good news I can get, and happy queers is no small feat in these times.

Just Rosie

Right, so maybe I owe Rosie an apology. Because when she fled the country at the start of Trump’s term, it felt a bit like an abandonment. And, of course, it was only possible through no small amount of privilege. But, damn, if she didn’t precisely predict exactly how unhinged that Orange Turd would become. Because, like can you imagine if truly any other President of the United States – Republican or Democratic – declared that lesbian comedian and actress Rosie O’Donnell was a “threat to humanity” and then threatened to revoke her citizenship. Like, setting aside the fact that no president can single out individual native born citizens and take away their citizenship just because he doesn’t like them, this is just such petty bullshit from the so-called Most Powerful Man in the World. Don’t worry, I’m well aware that harassing a former daytime talk show host is on the lower level of fucked up shit Trump has done in his second term. But still. The intentional lawlessness of all their actions and threats are straight out of the fascist playbook. I just know 77 million people did vote for this. So I wonder, are they cheering or just not paying attention. Or somehow both?

I know attacking a lesbian comedian might seem just silly. But it follows his continued assault on LGBTQ+ identity and rights. The banning of trans existence has been one of this administration's cornerstone policies. Kicking out trans service members. Refusing to use correct gender markers for trans and nonbinary citizens on passports and other federal documents. Subpoenaing medical centers that dare to provide youth gender affirming care. Erasing the “T,” and even at least some of the “B” from the Stonewall National Monument website. wonder if the so-called Log Cabin Republicans will ever feel ashamed. Or if our so-called allies who still voted for him because of the price of eggs will ever feel stupid.

Anyway, sorry, Rosie. You were right. Would that we could all get the fuck out.