Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tie Me Up, Taxes Me Down Tuesday

I remain convinces that Ellen Page came out so she could wear ties on the red carpet. KIDDING! It’s a joke. I love that tiny Canadian. Her coming out was a courageous personal choice and not a shallow sartorial choice. Also, she totally wore ties before, too. Like, a bunch. Really. Sure, not three ties in three consecutive public appearances. But, you know, still. Anyway. Since today is tax day in the U.S., I thought I’d make your day a little less tiring by showcasing some more of the Other Ellen in her favorite neckwear of later. May Tie Tuesday tie you into fewer knots because of all those numbers and boxes and 1040/1099/4868 forms. Now, off to find my damn receipts.

Academy Awards

GLAAD Awards

MTV Movie Awards

Monday, April 14, 2014

Save the experimental evolutionary developmental biologist, save the world

You wait and you wait and you wait and you almost forget what you were waiting for. Almost. And then, BOOM, it is back. They are back. Tatiana Maslany is back (back, back, back, back, back, back…and apparently back). When last we saw her (and all her incarnations) it was early June. That’s a long time to stew in the delicious clonespiracy. But what I hadn’t forgotten is how much I love Cosima. And, evil as it is on their parts, how much I care about her illness. Terribly brilliant, that move – with emphasis on the terrible part. Though if it means lots of scenes of Delphine nursing Cosima her little puppy back to health, I can accept it. Oh, Saturday, get here faster.

p.s. Last Monday I thought the show was coming back that Saturday. And when I realized I had an extra week to wait I had a tiny mental breakdown. Six. More. Days.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My Weekend Crush

So yesterday someone threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton while she was giving a speech in Las Vegas. She wasn’t hurt, or hit, and the offending hurler was promptly arrested. But afterward our former Secretary of State and current Coolest Lady on the Planet was quick with a joke. And, kittens, what a joke it was.

“Thank goodness she didn’t play softball like I did.”

That’s right, suckers, our future President of the United States played softball. I feel like this is important information I should have already know. I feel like a little bit less of a lesbian for not knowing it. But now that I know, I will cherish this information forever. Man, do I want this lady to be the leader of the free world. I am so ready for Hillary. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Back to the Nest

Someone has been reading my dream journal again. The Hollywood Gods have granted another of my fondest wishes, by teaming Amy Poehler and Tina Fey back together for another movie. Oh, yeah – I own “Baby Mama.” Like you had to ask. Sheesh.

The duo will star in the comedy, “The Nest,” as two adult sisters. I’m sorry, that sound was me squealing with delight. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the sisters decide to throw one last epic party at their parent’s house before it is sold. The script is by longtime “SNL” writer and “30 Rock” guest star Paula Pell. And the movie will be directed by Jason Moore, who also helmed “Pitch Perfect.” Sorry, yes, that was just me squealing with delight again.

I don’t know when the movie will be out but fuck yeah I will be there. I think this deserves a return of Amy and Tina’s “Sexy Tennis” from the archives. Yes, yes, YAAASS.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Freedom to Accessorize

So yesterday after “Lost Girl” aired its finale on Syfy (hint, hint – read the Rewind Mini-Cap here), the company released a limited edition of Bo’s Magical Vagina Labrys “Freedom to Love” necklace. And, yes, believe me, it still looks like something Georgia O’Keeffe would have painted. The good news: It was created as a benefit for Benefit Plan Canada’s Because I Am A Girl Initiative, which works to empower women and girls by promoting gender equality. The bad news: It is already sold out. But, there should be more good news coming because they are restocking. Also, come on, it still looks a lot like lady bits. I rest my case.

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I Ship It

Yeah, admit it, this is how you feel every time you turn on the TV. I pretty much have had this song in my head all weekend.[Hat tip, yellerbelly!] Damn right, I ship it.

p.s. Keep voting for the remaining members of Team Snarker (I know we have to eat our own in the Lauren v. Bette battle, but may the best badass win) in the AfterEllen March Madness: Hunger Games.

Monday, April 07, 2014


You know what I love (besides puppies and pizza and another p-word that could be crude or could mean a cat)? I love when the real-life persona is completely dichotomous from how much of the public perceives them. Like, of course, Lena Headey. The eternal lesbian heartthrob (Luce, Luce, wherefore art thou, Luce) is famous now for, of course, entirely different reasons. Most of the world knows her as the icy, cunning and endlessly ambitious Cersei Lannister. But, sweet merciful Zeus, is she ever really the opposite. Or, at least appears to be so in all her public appearances and her Instagram account. Is it possible to have a crush on someone’s Instagram account? Too late, I already do.

Lena is pretty much the polar opposite of Cersei. In fact, I think goofball might be the best descriptor. And it is just glorious.

Oh, and don’t forget her turning the House of Lannister patriarch into a loveable beach bum.

Knowing all this simply makes me giggle even more as fourth season of “Game of Thrones” returned this weekend.

Friday, April 04, 2014

My Weekend Crush

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get weepy about commercials. Maybe it’s a family having that first cup of coffee together after a long period apart. Or a good dog who finally gets a forever home. Or any of those damn Google Chrome commercials. I can’t help it. Beneath this ink-black heart is a soft, marshmallow center. But you know what really, really chokes me up? When commercials treat what has for so long been considered “other” – race, gender, sexuality, whathaveyou – as something of worth that is worth presenting. So all these advertisers who include LGBT people and families, man, do I get a little verklempt. I know the cynical, hard side of my heart should say we’ve become just another commodity to sell a product. But if the all-mighty dollar is in a way the greatest equalizer. The “values” that companies once courted now include us. And, in fact, not accepting us as another part of the world worth recognizing has in fact become the opposite of profitable. The new CEO of Mozilla just resigned because of outrage caused by the disclosure of his contributions to the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. I can’t imagine anything close to that happening 10 years ago. But today, to be anti-gay is quite simply bad for business.

But you know what really, really, really chokes me up? When a company goes out of its way not only to include us, but to defend us. Sure, show a gay couple in your ad. But when the haters come out, it’s how you respond that often shows the truest of colors. So this weekend my crush is on that most wholesome of things. It’s on the goodness of Honey Made graham crackers, that simple snack for kindergarteners everywhere and the foundation for every great s’more. Last month the company put out a commercial titled “This is Wholesome,” which featured gay and interracial couples. And, of course, the crazies emerged. But what they did afterward? Well, let’s just say I’m going to go buy a box of Honey Maid this weekend and have a good, happy cry. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Somewhere over the Cheno

If you want a reminder of how “Glee” absolutely, positively wasted its return cameo of Kristin Chenoweth the last few episodes, please enjoy two minutes of our favorite pocket-sized human reminding everyone that giving Gwyneth Paltrow multiple solos instead of her was an absolute joke. What a waste of Cheno.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

My First Time: Film Edition

So last week (or was it the week before – time you blurry vixen, you) the AfterEllen Huddle question was one I rather liked, but didn’t have time to participate in. It was simply, “What was your first lesbian film?”

You always remember your first, right? Sort of. I think my first was “Go Fish.” It is, at least, the first that made a positive impression on me about lesbian life and love. (Though not necessarily about lesbian acting.) I think that’s why I still have such a soft spot for (and, yes, own) the movie. It was the first film to present being gay as something that could be very normal and not at all traumatic or tragic that I can recall.

While thinking about what my first (film) was, I also got to thinking about the first experience of seeing it. How different that experience must be for (clears throat) The Youths of Today. In order to watch a lesbian movie back in the day you had to either 1) Go to the theater and sit in the dark with a bunch of other people, or 2) Go to the video store and try to slip in The Big Lesbo movie in between a copy of “Forrest Gump” and “Reality Bites.” There was a public declaration either way. And, depending on your level of outness at the time, a degree of courage it took to buy that ticket or bring your rental to the counter. I remember it well, because when I started watching my first gay movies I definitely was not out.

Figuring it all out today just takes a couple downloads and, boom – you’re in gay movie heaven. There is so much more privacy (depending on your level of paranoia about the NSA) today to sit and watch the gay from the comfort of your own home without anyone else being the wiser.

I can’t even imagine how much easier it is now, with so much available at a few clicks. But, also, there was something exhilarating about actually seeing that first film out in the big wide world. I know lots probably still do as well.

Though, despite our advances in technology, some things remain universal. No matter the delivery method, there will always be a period in our burgeoning coming out where we consume every.single.lesbian.movie there is in an attempt to see ourselves. Granted, TV gives us a lot more to look at these days as well. But there’s nothing like those nights – probably after the rest of the house has gone to sleep – when you sit and watch the magic of the movies. Even the bad ones. Yeah, “Bar Girls,” that means you.

Ah, memories. So, tell me, what was your first? And how did you watch? And remember, this is for science, so be honest.