‘Twas the night before the night before Carol Aird Day, and all through the house, all the lesbians were “forgetting” their gloves because, well, anything to avoid going on the apps. Ah, yes, Dec. 21, that most sacred of lesbian holidays. This year even falls on a Sunday, like the original day did. We are truly blessed. Don we now our gay apparel? Don’t mind if I do. Happy weekend and Carold Aird Day, all.
Per the new season description, we’re getting even sweatier mayhem this time. As long as it’s still uber gay, I can’t wait.
“Forget Tassie Noir - Deadloch is entering its Tropical Gothic era. Detectives Dulcie Collins (Kate Box) and Eddie Redcliffe (Madeleine Sami) are in Australia’s sweltering Top End, aka the Northern Territory, investigating the death of Eddie’s former policing partner, Bushy. But when the body of a local icon is discovered in a remote town, they are flung into a sweatier, stickier, croc-ier crime case.Chafing! Tevas! Bad fashion sense on straight women who look gay! A lead actress whose last name is "Box!" Yes, they love us lesbians. They really do. OK, but they could hurry up. Because they finished filming this time last year. Bring on the Dead(loch).Closer to South Asia than to Australia's capital city, our hero town of Barra Creek is a vast departure from Season One’s icy Tasmanian setting. From verdant tropical canopies, red dirt roads that disappear into the horizon, glassy waterways that house 65-million-year-old predators, and sunsets so breathtakingly beautiful that they literally command a standing ovation every night, the Northern Territory’s awe-inspiring landscape and weather shape this season’s look and feel. The heat and humidity are enough to send our detectives into a frenzy, or at least leave them with some horrific chafing.”
First up is “The Christmas Baby” starring “Bomb Girls” star and Hallmark’s resident lesbian Ali Liebert and half of Wynonna Earp’s WayHaught Katherine Barrell. They play a couple who finds, you guessed it, a baby during the holidays. Like it just shows up, poof. Talk about your immaculate birth. Well, at least it avoids the pregnant lesbian trope. “The Christmas Baby” airs at 8 p.m. Sunday on Hallmark Channel.
Next up, at least for our Canadian friends, is “The Firefighter’s Christmas Calendar” (formerly “The Firefighter’s Christmas Wish,” but after watching that trailer “Calendar” does make more sense…). The premise, a queer female photographer goes to shoot a sexy firefighter Christmas calendar and runs into a sexy also queer female firefighter. That old chestnut! But seriously, I will be watching this. Well, I would be at 8 p.m. Sunday on W Wetwork – if I lived in Canada. The project was first announced for Lifetime, but no U.S. air date is scheduled yet. But trust me, if I find out, I’ll tell you. Or, better yet, find a Canadian friend – and invite me!
OK, so feeling a little more festive? I know If we can’t be merry, at least we can be gay.
Honestly, I don’t know what to say about the death of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele Singer Reiner. Police have arrested his 32-year-old son for their murders, and well, anyone with a functioning sense of empathy (i.e. not our POS POTUS – even though Michelle shot the cover photo for “Art of the Deal”!) can understand that their family and friends deserve grace right now.
I just want to thank the universe for giving us someone who could direct among the greatest mockumentaries (This Is Spinal Tap,” 1984), the greatest coming-of-age stories (“Stand By Me,” 1986), the greatest fairy tales (“The Princess Bride,” 1987), the greatest rom-coms (“When Harry Met Sally…,” 1989), the greatest horror thrillers (“Misery,” 1990) and greatest courtroom dramas (“A Few Good Men,” 1992) in the span of under a decade. These movies all came out in my most formative of years, and I can recite lines verbatim from all of them. I may know all of “The Princess Bride” by heart, but then what Gen Xer doesn’t.
That, my friends, would been enough of a legacy on its own. But that he was also universally celebrated as a true mensch, a good egg, a political powerhouse and champion of LGBTQ+ causes (especially marriage equality) makes him something even more important. A good human who so many will miss. Thanks for the movies, sir. May you and your wife rest in power, and may all of us celebrate your life and work for as long as people tell stories to one another that matter.
I have been a Raye fan since, well, since “Escapism” came out right around the time my marriage broke up and it made me feel a little better about how I was handling everything. But, seriously, I remember thinking who is that? Who indeed. The Ghanaian-Swiss British singer is a consistent scene stealer. Remember her at those stacked Grammys earlier this year? I only didn’t mention her at the time because her music is so aggressively straight. You know, like her new hit, “Where is My Husband?” But, honestly, I don’t mind the heterosexuality. Because, kind of like Sabrina, it’s all about how terrible it is to have to date men. And that part feels deeply relatable. Poor straight ladies. Anyway, Raye has what i believe they call pipes and the whole retro glam soul thing she’s got going on is immaculate. I especially love when she wraps the mic cord around her neck like an old-school lounge singer. Anyway, please enjoy this certified banger with the grateful knowledge that sapphics like us don’t have to worry about where our husbands are – ever. Happy Monday, kittens.
Sabrina Carpenter may be short n’ sweet, but she knows an evil administration when she sees one. The most heterosexual of all the pop superstars (much to her own obvious chagrin, bless her heart) wasted no words calling out an ICE video using her music last week.
She replied to the now deleted ICE video using one of her songs:
“this video is evil and disgusting. Do not ever involve me or my music to benefit your inhumane agenda.”Also, they were using her song “Juno” which, wtf, it’s about being so hot for someone you’ll let them get you pregnant! So they’re evil, disgusting, inhumane and also too stupid to understand song lyrics. We really are living in the most simultaneously evil and idiotic timeline in history.
Anyway, let’s have more musical superstars doing what we all should be doing right now – raging against the machine, calling out billionaires and lambasting this evil administration. Thanks, Sabrina. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. And, hell yeah, she brought drag performers and trans rights protest signs to the VMAs this year too.
Do I know exactly what’s happening in this trailer for Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut “The Chronology of Water”? No, no, I do not. I know it is based on the memoir by Lidia Yuknavitch. And, there’s clearly swimming and also abuse and – wait – is that Jim Belushi? Yes, I checked, that is indeed Jim Belushi as Ken Kesey. If nothing else, I think this will be interesting. And, like I’ve said many times before, I appreciate that K-Stew has a singular artistic vision and pursues projects based on it instead of box office. Yes, of course, she already had her own blockbuster franchise, but she is so clearly never chasing another one. And good for her. Truly, very good for her.
May-December with The Joan Chen? From “Twin Peaks” to “Wild Side” to “Saving Face” and the new “The Wedding Banquet,” Joan has made queer allyship a tenet of her performances. So, hell yeah I’m excited to see her play gay again. And this scene with the glass of water? Come on, that’s some iconic Mother shit.
And she credits the LGBTQ+ community with some of Aunt Gladys’s success. She told The Hollywood Reporter:
“As you very well know, the gay community has really taken to Gladys. That’s really great — especially in this framework of the demonization of anybody other than a cis person — for the trans community. I think they really appreciate Gladys’ drag and makeup and how confident she is. So that’s a really nice cherry on top of all this.”And she looks amazing in a suit to boot. Yeah, it’s good when good things happen good people. Remember that?
Well, well, well. Now if this isn’t something, at long last last, to live to the spring for. Did that sound dark? Just you wait, you’ll feel a whole different kind of dark once you watch this. The trailer for “Mother Mary,” the Anne Hathaway/Michaela Coel “psychosexual pop thriller” about a pop star and her estranged former fashion designer lover, is finally here. And when I say finally, I mean a more than two and a half year wait. I have to say, I was surprised and mostly in a good way. No, I wasn’t expecting the glimpses of supernatural darkness and body gore, if that indeed is what we are seeing here. But I love the over-the-top “epic pop melodrama” operaticness of these clips. And the chemistry between Anne and Michaela, well, it’s good. I’d like to see a little more good chemistry between their lips. But, you know, I guess they have to save some stuff for the movie. My only worry, well, as the trailer says – I don’t know if they’re both gonna make it. But, goodness, will I be rooting for them.
Welcome to December. We’ve almost made it out of 2025. Just three more years, eh? I wish I had many things this Christmas season – a non-racist, misogynistic, corrupt, felonious, rapist and all-around evil president would be one thing. And also the full-length version of Sarah McLachlan and Kelly Clarkson singing “River” would be another. Look, I didn’t say all the wishes were equal in priority. But, you know, while we’re wishing. Happy Monday, kittens.
