Wednesday, December 07, 2011

I Nuzzled a Girl

Oh, son, you done gone stepped in it now. Last night newbie “Glee” writer Matthew Hodgson – who let’s face it was already on many gay ladies’ shit list for writing the “I Kissed a Girl” episode where no girls actually kissed – went and tweeted a fan that Brittany and Santana had already kissed. Yes, really. No, I am not kidding. Yes, I wish I was. But no, here is the tweet.

(Yes, I know all about that glowing article about him from yesterday on that other site with the initials AE. No, I have no comment. Yes, the timing is hilarious. But no, I still my comment is no.)

Fellow “Glee” writer Michael Hitchcock also replied to the same tweeter, with an extra special twist of contempt.

Here’s a small hint, dude, don’t tell a die-hard fan she doesn’t watch the show she probably spends more waking hours obsessing about than you do. Have you met this thing called “fandom?” If not, crash course – Fandom remembers everything. EVERYTHING.

Now, first things first, they are clearly both epically, epically wrong about Brittany and Santana sharing any sweet lady kisses (a fact which series creators Brad Falchuk and Ryan Murphy have themselves confirmed). That was The Great Neck Nuzzle of 2010 they’re referring to. Trust me, fellas, us gals have watched that scene over and over and over and over again and as much as we want there to be lip locking, there simply isn’t. An almost kiss is not a kiss.

Both Matthew and Michael have since deleted their respective tweets. Michael tweeted and then deleted an apology to the same fan. And Matthew tweeted and so far has left up a clarification of sorts to a different fan.

Hey, guys, there seems to be some serious confusions amongst the “Glee” ranks about what constitutes kissing. So, please, let me help you with some easy to understand visual cues.

THIS IS KISSING

THIS IS NOT KISSINGANY QUESTIONS?

Still what this whole weird mess really does – besides make me sad that maybe neither one of these fellows is all that familiar with what kissing really is in the first place – is makes me worried about what the hell is happening in the writers’ room. I mean, seriously, what is happening? I know continuity was one of the things everyone said they’d work on this season, and they have (they mentioned Tina’s former stutter and Santana’s Rocky Horror lips and Puck’s pool cleaning business). But to not know the basic romantic on-screen history of two major characters is a pretty Joe Biden-worthy Big Fucking Deal. Or, at least it should be a Big Fucking Deal.

Though perhaps, well, perhaps that’s the problem in the first place. Perhaps these characters – these beautiful, strong, queer female characters – aren’t really that big a deal to these writers. Perhaps they’re just a nice, pretty garnish to the show’s more important main dish. Perhaps getting things right like whether to girls who are in love have actually kissed on screen just doesn’t matter in their world. Perhaps they think we’ve gotten all the storyline from them we deserve already.

Well, if that’s the case, then I heartily welcome the writers to kiss my ass. Though, at this point, I have to wonder if they even know how.

UPDATE: Well, I give up. The show's only lesbian writer (and really only full-time female writer), Ali Adler, also thinks Brittana has already kissed. At this point, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I'll just nuzzle someone I deeply love until I feel better.

50 comments:

Meg said...

Sometimes I just wonder if Ali Adler has to resist smacking everyone all day long. More frequently I wonder if she's allowed to give any input at all.

ABSedarian said...

Wonderfully put. The writers clearly don't know the definition of the word "kiss". At least not where two girls are concerned.

Cat Atak said...

Thank you so much for this!! You really said everything I've been thinking. I really don't understand the unfairness of it. This is about equality amongst ALL characters and relationships. I guess that doesn't matter. I'm loving the Brittana in the show but seriously enough is enough. For the writers to say this is just plain offensive to this fandom. Keep the fight alive people. I don't know the reason for it but lets hope that since this fandom made Brittana when it was half the size it is now that it can move mountains and make a kiss happen.

Norma Desmond said...

I may have just sent a nasty tweet to one of those dudes... maybe. I blame the no sleep. And the incredibly shitty writing and non-sense of continuity on that show.

Anonymous said...

Not gonna lie. I really wish Ryan, Ian and Brad would come back and write Santana's storyline. The new writers are not doing the season any good. It's like they don't even watch their own show.

Anonymous said...

very well said...i think the two writers havent yet seen a lesbian kissing. jeez! whats going to them??? i was really disappointed!

Anonymous said...

Very well worded and nicely put. them new writers need to see they have totally fuck up Santana/Brittany/Brittana almost beyond repair.

Ali had Brittany eating cat poop she don't give a fuck about us either. I trust Ali as much as I did IC.


Dorothy has become the new Captain.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for always summing up our frustrations. They really should care, equality for all, isn't that what Glee claims to be about?

I've tweeted this article to the writers. I hope they read it and take notice because women, gay women especially in this case, deserve to be treated with respect.

yellowpride said...

In their defense, if you pause that scene at just the right moment, it looks like they're going to kiss (like, legit kiss; none of that neck crap), and screenshots of that exact moment are basically the lifeblood of tumblr. But yeah, they really should know better than to question a die hard fan (or really any fan, given their obviously limited recollection of what has and has not happened on the show).

Leebraz said...

I think your illustrations did help clarify the kissing issue. :p
Actually, if Brittana ever kiss, I'm sure we're going to have other girls, who are not invested in a romantic relationship, kissing as well, just not to make the Brttana kiss a big deal. And the worst part is that they won't acknowledge this will NOT help.

Anonymous said...

There was a kiss, they were just mixing up off screen kiss with on screen kiss... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Is it wrong to say that last night’s Twitter War was more entertaining than the 3 performance of New Directions sectional performance?

Dumb and Dumber don’t understand that the couples should be treated fairly, i.e. if Klaine can have a conversation so should Brittana, if Brittana can dance together then Finchel if able should be allowed to and if every other coupling in the Glee universe get to kiss then so should Brittana.

I think it’s reasonable to assume there won’t be a kiss next week either, if the Brothers Dumb had already thought they’d kissed over a year ago well that’s enough for any long term couple?!

Also how incredibly stupid were they when they replied to the original very amusing tweet? They must have known how the fandom would react. Ali Adler was included in the original tweet and didn’t respond one way or another. If they’d kept quiet they’d be reading positive reviews of last night’s episode instead of hiding in a corner rocking to and fro whimpering quietly.

They should have a listen to Hillary Clinton’s speech at the UN the other day, they might find it educational – but then again they probably wouldn’t!

Lucy Hallowell said...

The writers' completely tone deaf and wrong comments aside I am struck by the irony that this show on Fox is withholding the lesbian kissing we all want to see and that would be in keeping with the story when in the past it has been the network of sweeps lesbianism (House, the O.C., etc). Here we have all the story and none of the kissing.

Why hold out now? Is it because we actually care about these characters?

Skye said...

Who would have thought we will wish for RIB to take over this show again.
Thank you so much for this, Dorothy. I just hope the writers will read this. I even wish HeYa will read this. I hate double standards and this one just pisses me off.

Brittana_Addict said...

What a great post. Brilliantly put. I say we just continue fighting until we are heard! Brittana deserves that!

Anonymous said...

There is an irony in your photoset Dorothy. In all of the actual kissing pictures, there is zero chemistry. They look forced. And in some cases desperate (which a few of them in context were).
But Brittany and Santana look genuine. As my partner suggested, maybe we can't have a kiss from them becaue they are not capable of making it look Hallmark chaste or just painfully awkward.

michela said...

You know girls that we live and perceive that what we see with our eyes.I sometimes close my eyes and go from within there I see what my heart desires!

xeria said...

I don't think I've seen quite this level of contempt for a show's fanbase from its writers since, like, The L Word (really just IC in that instance).

That's just...kind of mind-blowing, really. Do you guys value the quality of product you're putting to paper that little that you can't possibly be assed to watch back episodes or even maintain an outline for each character's story progression to consult while writing each episode?

VBDubGirl said...

Sadly, this doesn't surprise me. With the appauling condition of this show's continuity it's not that big of a shock. So many comments/bits have fallen by the wayside that it appears they're focusing on a 'bigger picture' (what that is don't ask me) rather than details that the audience remembers. Lack of a kiss, Puck getting a vasectomy, Sue being funny...

E said...

And it wouldn't even be a hard thing to accomplish, showing an on-screen Brittana kiss. In my opinion there have been so many moments where they could have just leaned over to each other.
The Brittango and the hand holding from 3x08 was great and sweet, but come on!

SFGreek said...

Hey, they can't even get Quinn's age straight. She said she's 17. Shue thinks she's 18. How hard is that?

But it doesn't matter. We don't know who's responsible for this crapfest, except for the producers and RIB, the people who have ultimate signoff and/or accountability. Who knows if Ali Adler objected. It's not unusual for writers to get producer credits when they have little input at all. I just wish I knew.

At least with these tweets, we know just how unbelievably clueless--and spineless--Hodgson and Hitchcock are. It's almost frightening that we've invested so much in these guys because of HeYa and Brittana. I no longer believe they have the capability of doing this right. Maybe I'm wrong. But they sure as hell can't fix what they've already broken.

Anonymous said...

The gay male writers don't want to see girls kissing. They probably think it is "icky". They would have freaking Kurt and Blaine on 24/7 if they could. Like Blaine would actually look at Kurt in the real world.
As predicted the troubletones lost and they had a much better performance. I don't think this episode was as ridiculous as last week however.

Anonymous said...

Because of all the fantasy Glee throws out there, it was especially nasty to make the one BIG reality be that once again the boys win, the majority wins (because let's face it, they called all the shots last night). . . It was a very familiar feeling, a real feeling I had when the New Directions (really?)won. All the girls kicked it - 'Tards too. The lack of a kiss, the further denial of the power of that relationship just adds to it.

So, the song the TTones performed has many meanings but the one I'm concentrating on right now is cruel irony.

EXCEPT, let's not forget the lead judge was a clown, which says something too.

Danika @ The Lesbrary said...

Even if their lips had touched in that scene, it would still be ridiculous to only give them one tiny kiss in a relationship that's gone on, depending on your definition, for years. I mean, even the barely-there romances get more kisses.

The Locker Room said...

Haha. "This is kissing." "This is NOT kissing." Love it. Perfect comparison. And it's not enough to get us by.

Anonymous said...

One can hardly blame the writers or producers of GLEE for adding to viewer confusion when sites like AfterEllen have NO qualms about confusing thier readers about sexuality, when they infer that a woman who is married to abd has children wit a man is a lesbian.

So now hand holding is considered kissing in Bizzaro Lesbian-ville, what else is new?

Anonymous said...

Bless you... I only wish that the "mainstream" (read: straight. *groan*) media picked up on this willful blindness and disrespect on the part of ALL the Glee production team, not just these two clowns.

Amanda said...

I don't care what happened last season to be perfectly honest; titillating bedroom scene or not, they have come a long way. girlfriends kiss.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is embarrassing for these two. Are these people being PAID to write this show? Should that not imply that a) they know their shit; or at the very least, b) they are intelligent enough to keep quiet.

Rae said...

yeah, its lame. Its starting to feel like buffy-Willow/Tara watch. Let's see how long a lesbian relationship can be merely implied when there's like, no on screen contact. And to be fair, they hesitated w Kurt and Blaine as well and still have them showing like a 10th of the physical affection that the straight couples do. ARG. so frustrating. I'd love to just walk away, but Brittana is so cute. Oh and I say we should all post pics where we're kissing our lady loves labelled 'this is a kiss'. :)

Sara said...

As I just tweeted to Dorothy, now Ali's on the same bandwagon:

https://twitter.com/#!/AliAdler/status/144497068218662912

In case it gets deleted anytime soon (I also screencapped it, just in case), the text reads:

Ummm, of course they have. http://videoblush.com/3195/santana-and-brittany-lesbian-kissing-glee/ RT greenfrog12 Just a question. Why hasn't Brittana kissed? #GLEE

And of all the videos she could choose to link to, she does so to one that claims "Santana and Brittany are not strictly lesbians but are kissing just for the fun of it."? Seriously?

Anonymous said...

Maybe she wasn't clear enough that they hadn't kissed each other...although they have both kissed enough other people!

Sara said...

And in a follow-up tweet to correct the link in the first, Adler dug the hole a little deeper:

https://twitter.com/#!/AliAdler/status/144503206205075456

Text:

New link 4 grumpy Brittana shippers scissoring is ultimate kiss #glee

I don't even have the words.

Kage said...

Ali Adler just called this "fan abuse."

Really?

I feel like the glee characters are being abused by their writers.

Jess said...

Thank you. Thank you for clarifying this all in a way I would never be able to do because a) my emotions cloud my thought process and b) I suck at justifying myself. I also wanted to say I've been reading your blog for just shy of two years (the AEllen article you wrote about #notakiss reminded me, since I think I started reading about the end of Glee season one) & I never came out to my mum. But having read your blog since then, it's helped me believe in who I am & you're pretty much my idol. I told her two weeks ago. Thank you <3

P-Land said...

Perhaps it's an issue concerning one or both of the actresses being uncomfortable. Every time I ponder the lack of an on-screen kiss, that's the conclusion I seem to always come back to.

While I wouldn't ever want anyone to compromise what they are and are not comfortable with for the sake of a television show, I feel that any story line deserves to be told and expressed in as real and honest a way as possible.

If an actress is not comfortable doing things that she would be asked to do to stay true to her character and story line, perhaps it should be played out with a different actress.

Hypothetical question, diehard Brittana shippers: Would you be content with the couple only ever nuzzling on camera, or would you rather see a lesbian relationship, complete with actual sweet lady kisses, between a different couple, perhaps incorporating either Brittany or Santana?

Anonymous said...

It's not the actresses being uncomfortable, since they -did- kiss on that summer-glee-tour thing. According to fandom it was something they themselves decided to do in one of the ad-libbed bits. (if I recall correctly.)

Little Skunk said...

Maybe it's a symbolic thing as they can't show the sexy lady love - like Finchel and Klaine held hands when they did the dirty, maybe Brittana's hand holding is a tally of how many times they've bumped pretties.

'It's not the actresses being uncomfortable, since they -did- kiss on that summer-glee-tour thing'
- Uh... did you see the kiss? I've seen girly, straight friends kiss with more passion. It was the tiniest, bodies-far-away-from-each-other peck on the lips Ive ever seen.

Solo said...

when u think there are professionals hired to improve the show... nd booom.... failed !!! BIG time...


Fandom basically created Brittana...our imagination..our hopes...our dreams and fanfics !!!
Fandom made them as big as they are..if u want to go against that..good luck !!

Shame u r getting paid for what we do for free :))
imagine pure love...pure joy... pure entertainment without the ugly labels so many like to put...well thats Brittana !

Brittana never kissed ...officially ! And if it wasnt for Naya and HeMo's love for fans we wouldnt have had that famous peck on the lips on tour either !

Dear Naya Rivera and Heather Morris ! if u happen to read this please support the fandom's dream !
is it that much we ask for ?

Anonymous said...

All this hate the writers are getting though, I just *know* they'll punish these naughty fans and not have a kiss like ever. I actually predict they will split them up in 3 episodes and have Brit go back to Artie /bites lip

Anonymous said...

A simple kiss instead of that body hug last week would have satisfied the fandom AND effectively cancelled out that Katy Perry song. Canuckgrrl

P.S. Congrats, Jess!!

Anonymous said...

ha, snarker pointing out YET AGAIN for the impaired just one of the many things wrong with the boys club.

Summer said...

Well the writers are all male, what can you expect? I don't want to over generalize and say "men suck", but the ones writing the lesbian plotline on Glee do. Kurt's coming out story was touching, and his first everything with whathisface was beautiful. It was practically the headline of last season, and was written quite excellently. Santana's storyline is crap.

Anonymous said...

Actually the worse of them is a lesbian, Ali Adler, ex-partner of Sara Gilbert and a founder of one of the first lesbian sororities. The guys made their one comment, got schooled, sorta apologized and shut up.

Ms. Adler kept mocking fans, retweeting, and even dragged Naya Rivera into the mix to use as a human shield. So now you have angry fans calling Rivera, a proven LGBT ally, a "manipulative bitch."

Fun, eh?

So yes, she has input - she's a executive producer after all, and she's no Twitter newbie, she tweets out Glee-related items all the time. And at one point she was also a lesbian activist.

Anonymous said...

“Well, I give up.”

Dorothy SURRENDERS?! :D

“The show's only lesbian writer (and really only full-time female writer), Ali Adler, also thinks Brittana has already kissed.”

Those idiot men have clearly been spiking her margaritas! :) Or perhaps she isn’t a lesbian at all? Perhaps she’s one of *them* in a wig?! Wait a minute going by her Twitter picture, the poor thing is clearly still at kindergarten! What the hell would she know about kissing?!

“At this point, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.”

Laugh darling! LAUGH!!! :D

“Maybe I'll just nuzzle someone I deeply love until I feel better.”

Oh darling, I thought you’d never ask!!! :)

PD

PS Weathering it out here in the throes of ‘Hurricane Senga’! :) Senga’s full force hit Glasgow at 13:00 only for Glasgow to hit Edinburgh 3 hours later! :) (Yes I know; I quite shamelessly pinched that one! I’m afraid I cannot for the life of me remember who to credit though? Rikki Fulton? ‘Chewin’ the Fat’?)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-16079849

PPS This little shit-storm (‘Glee’, not ‘Senga’ wouldn’t be why AE’s comment’s section has gone kaput? :) )

Anonymous said...

Urban dictionary's most useful definition of 'Senga' for those not au fait with the Scottish vernacular:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=senga

Solo said...

after reading nd reading all about those famous tweets... a thought came to mind... what if the writers know smtg we dont (hope hope hope ) ?! :)) what if they HAVE kissed nd we havent seen it.....yet ?)))
btw some AWESOME Brittana Art !!

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/304/f/e/fe57dd56a1e8a81066b502db7b6743fc-d4emoon.jpg

gidge said...

Perhaps they view it as a Brittana kiss if it's simply implied. Sorry guys, doesn't count. At. All. You can't just say they've done stuff and now that they're dating without solidifying it. Xena and Gabrielle kissed more than Brittana does and they were never established as an actual couple, really. No matter how much everyone was in on the "little secret". Jesus. Sometimes I wonder if the writers aren't just the laziest fucks on the planet because they could give a shit if they finish a storyline they start.

Filippa said...

I love what you have written and I love the pics! I have almost given up hope on brittana to happen and they are the only reason I watch the show :( keep up the good work! :) //swedish gleek

Anonymous said...

Insanely late addition but Ali wrote the Brittana kiss and the abulela scene