Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Tank Top Tuesday: Gay it Forward

You know, I’m supposed to notice Stephanie March’s big yellow bandana. Because, you know, it’s yellow. But you know what I notice, well, besides the tank top? Her watch. That’s a big gay watch. Now, of course, I know Stephanie isn’t gay. She’s got Bobby freaking Flay cooking for her at home. But, she does play gay convincingly (as the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian on “30 Rock”). And, of course, gives good subtext with one Det. Olivia Benson. So, wait, where was I going with this? Oh right, those who play gay for our pleasure. Sometimes, they also wear pretty gay things for our pleasure, too. Like watches. And, of course, my personal favorite – tank tops.

Elizabeth MitchellElizabeth has earned the honorary hot plate for playing gay not once, not twice but three times. If she does a fourth, I say we have it bronzed.

Penelope CruzPenelope has only done it twice for us – but it was Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, respectively. So, you know, good job.

Charlize TheronFine, so also played a lesbian serial killer. But, you know, nobody’s perfect.

Shay MitchellPoor dear, “A” made Emily a juicer. Though on the plus side, think of the muscle definition.

Patricia ClarksonSometimes I still expect her to talk with a German slur, like Greta from “High Art.”

Zoe SaldanaShe got to make out with Mila Kunis before it was Oscar-worthy to make out with Mila Kunis.

Piper PeraboAlso a twofer, but let’s be honest, we’ll love her forever just for kissing Lena.

Jenny ShimizuShe doesn’t have to play. She just is. My, is she ever.

Thanks for gaying it forward, ladies. And, yes, the tank tops.

EDIT: Looks like Piper and Penelope get their honorary hot plates as well for making the third time the charm. We anxiously await their fourth.

13 comments:

;) babs said...

love the Patricia Clarkson pic!

Anonymous said...

did stephanie march play for real gay or are we counting alex cabot? not that we shouldn't count alex who is my favorite gay who ever gayed a gay...

goldringi said...

I can't believe I just trawled IMDb to confirm this, but Piper has actually played gay (or bi but in a les relationship, I'm not sure - I haven't seen the film) at least three times - the third time being the 2005 film Perception.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427650/

J9 said...

Not sure if it counts as gay, but Penelope Cruz was a nun who was sleeping with Spanish transvestites in "All About My Mother".

Anonymous said...

ms. march is returning to svu! hopefully there is some alex and olivia screen time, or they get married and live happily ever after..i mean a girl can dream.

Anonymous said...

Penelope Cruz actually did play a lesbian in the movie "Sin Noticias de Dios" in 2001(or its other title "Don't Tempt Me, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0284491/). Here a scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0htzmuAyHQI

Anonymous said...

and there is also this scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JIWQZPy6cg

folkpants said...

First time I saw Patricia Clarkson was 'High Art.' I thought she WAS German. You can't go back after that. LOVE HER!

"I live for Lucy. I live here with Lucy."

jennifer said...

@anonymous ..i was just about to mention 'Don't Tempt Me' and then i saw your post. the kung fu fighting scene was my favorite scene in the movie.
and fanny ardant was also in that movie so that was like an added bonus for me. i have a weakness for beautiful european actresses so having a spanish actress AND a french actress was a dream come true for me. the only reason i watched that movie is because i knew they were both in it.

pontiousjanitor said...

That picture of Stephanie, ug, I'm even more upset that I didn't drive the 2 hours to meet her last weekend. Also, yum too all the ladies :)

Anonymous said...

What about Penelope in Frida... isn't she Frida's lover?

jennifer said...

@anonymous Salma Hayek is who you're thinking of in 'Frida'

Kate said...

Mmm, Jenny Shimizu.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_R0jM91A9rhw/TTEvmiVAUaI/AAAAAAAAAII/Rw1lJYVkyjg/s1600/jenny_shimizu_2.jpg

(hopefully that link still works.)