Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Are you ready for some football?

Female soccer players always throw off my gaydar. Always. Take, for instance, Team USA above. I mean, sure they’ve got tank tops and arm porn and alternative-lifestyle haircuts. But what’s really throwing me off is their mad swagger. Not artificial swagger, like unnecessary limps or ridiculous grandstanding. No, the swagger that comes from years and years of getting kicked in the shins. From running up and down a 100-yard field more times than you can count. From sweat and concentration and grit and grass stains embedded in your skin. Soccer is fucking hard work. So when you’re good, you’ve got natural swagger. And that, that’s hot. It’s also hot that when the women score they tend to jump, legs first, into their teammates’ arms. Any sport that celebrates by hugging each other with your legs in friendship is a sport I want to watch. So to honor of the Women’s World Cup and all those amazing ladies with mad swagger, how about a little lady leg action?

Team EnglandSo much for English reserve.

Team JapanThe leg wrap here is especially impressive.

Team Equatorial GuineaWell, this just looks like we’re interrupting a private moment.

Team England, againSeriously, what’s in the tea over there?

Team SwedenSometimes hugging can cross precariously into mounting – not that I mind.

Team NorwayOK, ladies, time to get a room.

Of course, this being Tuesday and me being a giver, I didn’t want to ignore all the quality tank top action happening either. Sure they’ve got great legs, but these ladies are also packing some serious guns.

Hope Solo, USANever has the fact that goalies get to use their hands seemed more delicious.

Abby Wambach, USAExtra bonus point for the tongue.

Jessica Landström, SwedenGorgeous, gay and ohmygod those guns. Also, she’s our mounty friend No. 9 above. Did I mention she’s my new favorite player?

p.s. For more on the lovely Ms. Landström and the other out players in the 2011 Women’s World Cup, check out AfterEllen this week up now.

32 comments:

lisa said...

"Also, she’s our mounty friend No. 9 above. Did I mention she’s my new favorite player?"

Betcha you have to think twice about screaming, "You're a wanker No. 9!!"
lol
But then again, maybe she's giving us all a wink by wearing No. 9. :-)

Shula said...

Awesome post. Go team England :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad about your post because in Europe and France in particular we never ever talk about female football (or soccer as you Americans call it). It's all about the dudes, as most things are unfortunately.
It's like they don't exist at all, so I had no idea about the world cup.
I actually don't even care about football but I may start to watch it only because of that picture of Jessica Landstrom...
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Jessica Landstrom. Incredible

Hanna said...

My favorite of the German team (Go Germany!) is Saskia Bartusiak:
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4019/4389192995_a81a23e0d8.jpg

Nice in a tank top, and also sooo cute wearing her classes:
http://www.spox.com/de/sport/fussball/frauen-fussball/1106/Bilder/frauen-wm-2011-nationalspielerinnen-ohne-verstaendnis-fuer-nico-rosberg-514.jpg

And she is reportedly gay. <3

Kristan said...

Ditto what Anon said about no one talking about female soccer. I mean, in America hardly anyone talkes about male soccer either... but still! It's an amazing sport with amazing athletes, and they deserve all the recognition they can get.

Anonymous said...

Awesome, thanks for this post! Let's keep the soccer love going :)

Anonymous said...

Great! Lovely!
... But I miss Mia Hamm!!!

Anonymous said...

I love Abby!! So strong and hot!! And 30yos, so very legal!! And even though she's not "out", she does have tape around her ring finger and lives with another female player...just saying...

Daniel said...

I was looking forward to your World Cup comments and posts!

But I hope Germany's team will get some love from you as well, Ms. Snarker? :)

Daniel said...

Oh, by the way:

Is there another gay married (to a woman, of course) player in this tournament next to Germany's Ursula Holl?*

If anyone can find out, it's you ;)

I'm looking forward to you AfterEllen-post!

*) see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ursula_Holl#Personal_life

WolfsGotYourTongue said...

Dorothy, I love you... if only because of our mutual loves.

Emily said...

Jessica Landstrom is gay? WOAH. Never heard of her before, but new favorite player right there! She's SMOKIN'. I <3 soccer. :)

Anonymous said...

From the anon who asked for a world cup themed tank top tuesday- THANK YOU!!!

tlsintx said...

a little help?

who's the blond with short hair in the US team group shot??? :)

The Flying Bats said...

We live for this. Such a shame it only comes around ever 4 years.

C'mon Matildas!

The Flying Bats Women's FC
Largest Lesbian Soccer Club in the World

Anonymous said...

Re: the USA blond, probably this lady, #15 Megan Rapinoe, plays midfield, scored against Colombia.

http://www.fifa.com/womensworldcup/teams/team=1882884/photo/photolist.html#1467507e

Anonymous said...

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!!

Abby Wambach... ohhh, my!
I get weak when I see her.
Thanks for the post, women's soccer never gets enough
show time.

Go Team USA!

Carmen SanDiego said...

Awesome post. In Brazil soccer is like softball is to americans, a lesbian sport. Marta is not officially out but she doesn't really hide her girlfriend, swedish defender Johanna Frisk.
Check out Marta and her swedish girlfriend here.
http://i43.tinypic.com/2eakpjt.jpg

Lotta said...

haha! this number nine is certainly not a wanker :)

Anonymous said...

Who says female soccer is barely talked about in Europe? Because it's been in closer focus of the media for years now, at least here in Germany that's the case. Though it will never reach the men's popularity, it's a widely recognised sport and the success is very much noticed.
And it sure doen't hurt that there's players like Jessica Landstrom, trevlig, sverige!

nightFire said...

awesomeness :)

ERRRRRRRN said...

Wambach just got a lot gayer in my opinion...exhibit A:

http://youtu.be/gpDiDllu6ck

jenn levo said...

still waiting for that AE post... ;)

Jenny said...

For all you who love Swedish Jessica Landström... Out of the 11 start players in the Swedish team against the US there were 5 more lesbians (Jessica not included)!

We are very proud here in Sweden ;)

Anonymous said...

Sweden's Lisa Dahlkvist, the one who scored the penalty against USA, is out.

So is Sweden's goalie Hedvig Lindahl. She's going to be married in August.

Anonymous said...

the one :Hope Solo,those eyes....

Anonymous said...

Hope Solo is the Queen today and sorry,Dorothy,Landstrom on the bench after poor playing,really, skip her...Sweden in SF who cares? but US Brazil was a thriller and Hope Solo's the star here in Europa,even her name is a dream,beautiful eyes,crush..

Lena said...

Jessica Landström.. Wow! She makes me proud to be a gay Swedish soccerplayer! Imagine Sweden vs the US, with both Hope Solo and Landström on the field... NICE!

Jane K said...

wow, i love your posts, both on afterellen and here. you introduced me to a whole world of women athletes that i didn't know i was missing out on ogling. i spent the entire weekend checking out the US WNT blog and videos and we def have a hot team!

Anonymous said...

those pics of Landström are just georgous. She plays in my city and can watch her live every other weekend. yeah

Love how she always comes out on the field during the break to play around a bit. Make those 15 minutes go by very fast!

Anonymous said...

Jessica Landstrom is not only a very fine soccer player, she's a very genuine and caring person. She gave me her KGFC shirt after the game with Juvisy in March this year. I still haven't laundered it ;-)