Thursday, November 11, 2010

Come on. Cake.

True story: I feel asleep last night (basically comaed out) after an hour-long fit of hysterical laughter brought on by reading damnyouautocorrect.com. As an iPhone user, the site is basically every text conversation I’ve ever had. My sister has become so skilled at deciphering my texts that the occasional use of the work of “vaginal” instead of “annual” doesn’t even phase her anymore. Though, on occasion when the predictive text just won’t stop fucking with me, she does have to ask, “Um, have you just have a stroke?” So, this is sort of a long way of saying I’m sorry I didn’t have a post up this morning. Instead, please let me gift you with the joy of laughter. First enjoy a few very funny, very charming ladies. And then, because laughing like a drunken monkey at your screen while co-workers look on is a rite of passage in this Internet age, please enjoy a couple choice examples from damnyouautocorrect.com. You’re gonorrhea.

Hillary Clinton

When Hillary turns on the charm, it dazzles. Also, I would happily write a thank you note were anyone to send me gravy chips. Just sayin’.

Tina Fey

Finally, a definitive end to the cake or pie questions. (My better half Tina won the Mark Twain Prize for Comedy this week, which will air Sunday on PBS. Swoon.)

From Damn You, Auto Correct!
[Click to embiggen the L to the OLs]
Anal birds really are the worst.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm no gravy faloured crisps here in the UK but i'll happily send you any of these flavours.

BBQ Rib, Cheddar Cheese, Cheddar Cheese & Bacon, Cheese & Onion, Jamaican Jerk Chicken, Pickled Onion, Prawn Cocktail, Roast Chicken, Salt & Vinegar, Smoky Bacon, Sour Cream & Chive, Steak & Onion, Thai Sweet Chicken, Tomato Ketchup, Worcester Sauce, Thai Sweet Chilli, Roasted Chicken & Thyme, Vintage Cheddar & Onion Chutney,Balsamic Vinegar & Caramelised Onion, Southern Style Barbecue, Buffalo Mozzarella & Herbs, Oriental Red Curry, Poppadoms Lime & Coriander Chutney, Oriental Crackers Peking Spare Ribs

J9 said...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

J9 said...

Because jumping out of a pie would be messy...

Salicia said...

In Sweden we do dillweed crisps, big thing. Maybe I should send some to Hillary. I love her.
Back on topic: Swedish auto correct:"Bengt buys fluff at Walmart Maxi (swe equivalent of... Big supermarket) turns into: Adolf buys jew at Walmart Nazi. Srsly.
If you write negr it suggest negro whore (one word in Swedish, no need to spell it out..). I'm totally, completely serious. And apologize if someone got offended, not my intention, I merely quote! In the words of Angie H: there is not a racist bone in my body.
It has no suggestion for: world peace, estrogen or vagina. It does know "weapon of mass destruction" and anal rape, however.
Bottom line: auto correct is not merely racist, it's obviously nazi and misogynist too.

Anonymous said...

Is auto correct responsible for phase versus faze?

Norma Desmond said...

There is just no end to my love for Hillary. None. I think the fact that another country is willing to adopt her for their own political system is a sure sign that we may have really missed out... Which those of us who voted for her already know.

Anonymous said...

Long time reader but never poster...I am posting now. Thanks for sharing damnyouautocorrect.com I am fighting fits of loud laughter. It reminds me of cake wrecks but funnier! I am still reading...I will have a tummy ache from laughing so hard!

TheWeyrd1 said...

OMG...ROFLMFAO...thanx!

Kathryn said...

I want gravy chips AND I want to eat them with Hillary. Re Tina, instinct and preparedness are always the way forward; and YES to cake.

G Funk said...

THANK YOU 1,000,000,000 times for Damn you auto correct!

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Pesky anal birds... LOL thanx for that, really needed that laugh. I will now be glued to that site.

Phinking said...

Ms Surrenders,

The Gravy Smith Chip was, fortunately for crisp eaters, was one of those limited things. Like blue pepsi. If there were some of these disgusting crisps floating about somewhere, as in the clip, they would be out of date... so maybe they would taste better?

But, yeah, stay away from them.

Erica said...

HOLY SHIT. Whorehouse/whitehouse. Anal Birds. OMG I'm dying.

ingridmariarakel said...

Thank You, that website made me laugh a lot. Thanks!!!

Crystal said...

Tina... doesn't... like... pie? How is that even possible?

Still, if that's her only flaw, I can live. More pie for me!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I can't remember a time when I've laughed this hard. I have tears rolling down my cheeks, and I think I may have peed myself just a little bit. ...Thank goodness for pantiliners!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't understand well,
just thought that hillary and tina look
charming today. thanks for the post,

crazylikeafox11 said...

FYI, the second link to damn you auto correct is actually a link back to your blog.