Tuesday, June 27, 2017

A Half-Baked Proposal

So, once again, the kind folks at Autostraddle asked me to review another episode of “Orange Is the New Black.” And, of course, I had to get the one with Larry’s White Ass. Of course I do.

[Spoiler Alert: Yo, stop reading if you aren’t past 512.]

As the penultimate episode of the season, “Tattoo You,” was – strange. Strange because they decided to stop all of a sudden to give us a love story. And a love story many people have long since lost interest in at that. Ahem. Though, I guess it only makes sense they’d throw in a Hail Marry romance in the same season there was a slasher movie episode. But, yeah.

Anyway, share your thoughts – agree, disagree, and/or anything in between – over in the comments. Find the review here.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Gal Talk

Here is just 4 minutes and 6 seconds of Gal Gadot being all kinds of adorable talking about herself. Not a bad way to start a week, if I do say so myself. One of the greatest feats of “Wonder Woman” – besides the whole proving a female superhero movie can be awesome and make a shitton of money and kick all those boring superhero dudes asses – was giving all the Amazons Israeli accents to match Gals’s accent. Hey, if you can’t beat them, join them.

p.s. This video also gave us this gif, for which I will be eternally grateful. And eternally in my bunk.

Friday, June 23, 2017

My Weekend Crush

You guys. If anyone ever tells you consent isn’t sexy, yeah, just show them this. Because consent is so, so sexy. As is this scene. As is everything to do with WayHaught. Look, I don’t know exactly what is up with dark eyes, bell stealing Waverly, but I know what’s happening between her and Officer Nicole Haught is real and really, really hot. So happy TGIWH (WayHaught) day. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Gender Fuck Thursday: Unbowed

Yes, yes, I know – bow ties are cool. Loosened bow ties? Sometimes, on the beautiful lady, they’re even cooler. Plus, it’s been an insane a year so far and we’re not even half way through. So loosen that bow tie, ladies. Because who the hell knows what is coming next.

Cate Blanchett & Emily Blunt

That this photoshoot exists is proof there is a god and she’s definitely a lesbian.

Sue Perkins

Speaking of lesbians, way to represent, Sue.

Angelina Jolie

I mean, she’s single now – right?

Jane Lynch

It’s always so strange to see her as Spencer’s mom on “Criminal Minds.” But, fear not, she’ll be back to her womanizing comedy ways soon.

Angela Bassett

Sometimes I feel like I watch “American Horror Story” just for her. A lot of the time, actually.

Naomi Watts

Whenever I see Naomi I just think, but seriously, WTF was “Mulholland Drive” about?

Kate Winslet

Mean of her to steal the fainting couch when she knows we’ll need it.

Monica Bellucci

Don’t smoke. Or Monica will stop wearing this.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

The cutest prom dates ever.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Gillian Gods

You guys, I finished “American Gods” and I’ve decided the strong WTFisHappening feelings through the first half of the season were totally worth it. The series really came together in its second half, thanks mostly to the women of the series who helped center the show. And by women I mostly mean Gillian Anderson because I, too, believe in Sue Perkin’s eternal TV/life motto. But, actually it was the many faces of Gillian, the colorful color-sapping power of Kristin Chenoweth, the deadpan of Dead Wife Emily Browning and endless vagina nebula of Yetide Badaki that really sold me on the series.

I am actually excited now to see how this crazy new gods vs. old gods war plays out. And while I know I should probably be rooting for the old gods, it’s hard to root against Gillian. Or should I say Lucy. Or Bowie. Or Marilyn. Or Judy. Oh, my.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Burn, Cheeto, Burn

I’m not sure if you’ve been watching the new season of “Orange Is the New Black” yet or not. I have been. But I will say this is the first season I haven’t binged all at once in one weekend. I still have the final four episodes to watch. The kind folks over at Autostraddle have asked me to a review a couple of the episodes. The first one is of episode 506 – you know, the one with the Cheetos. (Appropriately named “Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally.”) You can check out my review here.

While the season may have some real tonal and thematic problems (and, it does), I did appreciate how the episode evoked – even if only for a moment – the emotions so many of us have felt about the state of our world. In explaining her grief about Poussey, Soso also described – intentionally or more likely not – the kind of grief many of us feel about what’s happening in America. Or, at least it did for me. Everyone is different and everyone responds to art different. And that’s kind of the beauty of the thing.

Anyway, I’d appreciate if you gave it a read and feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comments.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Makeup Monday

Some weekends you just don’t want to end – hence the tardy Monday post. So here in the afterglow is one of my favorite non-film stills of Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara together. The contrast of the light and the dark. The Cate reaches for Rooney’s hands. Sublime. Have a good week, no matter the late start, kittens.

Friday, June 16, 2017

My Weekend Hero

Life has a poetic way of rooting out our hypocrisies sometimes. Like by having a queer woman of color act heroically to saves a homophobe’s life. But that’s the thing about humans. We can be absolute garbage all too often. But then sometimes we can also be reminded that we don’t have to be garbage. We can be brave and dutiful and rise above to do our jobs like Special Agent Crystal Griner did this week. The Capitol Police officer was one of three officers who saved the lives of Republican congressmen and their staff when an angry, violent white man with a history of violence against women who shouldn’t have had access to guns but did opened fire on them at a softball practice. Griner was shot in the ensuing firefight, as was fellow officer David Bailey. Another officer, Henry Cabrera, also returned fire but was not injured.

The congressman whose life Griner and the other officers saved was GOP Representative Steve Scalise from Louisiana. You might remember him as the Frau Farbissina of Obamacare repeal. He was shot in the hip and remains in the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Look, no one deserves to be shot. Seriously, don’t shoot people. But the irony of a man with Rep. Scalise’s record being saved by a queer woman of color (and two other men of color, it should be noted) cannot be ignored.

He earned a “0” from the Human Rights Campaign and an A+ from the National Rifle Association.

He authored the ban on same-sex marriage in the Louisiana Constitution. He voted against the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” He was one of the sponsors of last year’s so-called “First Amendment Defense Act,” one of those license to discriminate laws under the guise of religious freedom. And he has voted against anti-gay hate crime protections.

He voted in January to reverse a federal rule that prevents people with serious mental-health issues from buying guns. He also co-sponsored an upcoming bill to loosen restrictions on silencers. And since he entered congress in 2008 he has introduced four measures to make it easier to sell guns interstate.

In short, he wants no rights for gays and all the rights for guns.

And, because no modern GOP agenda is complete without a little racism, he has described himself as “David Duke without the baggage” and was a guest speaker at an international conference of white supremacist leaders. Neat-o!

But enough about that asshole. Let’s talk about someone who deserves acclaim instead – Agent Griner. The 32-year-old was a veteran officer on Scalise’s special security detail. She attended Hood College in Maryland where she was a star basketball player.

A former classmate at Hood described her as such:

“She was a woman to be reckoned with at Hood: an amazing athlete and a lively presence. It does not surprise me at all that she would think so quickly and act so courageously.”
At her side while recovering in the hospital is her wife, Tiffany Dyar. The couple married in 2015 – you know, the year the Supreme Court finally affirmed our fundamental right to wed the person we love. Trump and Melania reportedly visited Griner and her wife in the hospitals. Poor thing. She puts her own life on the line to defend a bigoted homophobe and then her reward is a visit from that despicable Cheeto. Fine, it’s not all poetry. Thanks for your heroism and reminding us when they go low, we save their deplorable lives anyway. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

The Reunion Word

Well, well, well. Seems all that Twitter back-and-forth between our favorite “The L Word” stars meant something after all. No, the gang isn’t reuniting for a revival of the series – just yet. But they did get together for a reunion show to discuss the series, which debuts online today. “EW Reunites: The L Word” features Jennifer Beals, Kate Moennig, Mia Kirshner, Erin Daniels, Leisha Hailey, Sarah Shahi, Daniela Sea and – yes – The Chaiken talking about the series for the People/Entertainment Weekly Network. (You can stream it here today).

I’ve ruminated about whether we need another “The L Word.” Need and want, of course, are very different things. I’d argue that as much as we might want one, we might not absolutely need one – like we did 13 years ago when it debuted – because of the amount of representation that has become integrated into other shows from “Wynonna Earp” to “Supergirl” and “Orphan Black.” Granted, we’ve had a bad run the past year or so what with all the burying of gays and some favorites leaving. (Oh, “Lost Girl,” I miss you so.) Still, as much as “The L Word” drove us all absofuckinglutely bonkers, it is a little irresistible to dream. I mean, who are we kidding, we would totally watch. Maybe, just maybe a new “The L Word” could get things right. Without the unnecessary deaths of beloved tennis stars and with more diversity. Without the offensive trans storylines/random murder mysteries/high-tech computer searches and with plots that make sense for a change. Look, a gay gal can dream.

Either way, it’s nice to see the gang all back together. While all the queer lady fandoms are great, there was something special about the communal feel of everybody watching the same show. Sure, it was because it was all we had. But it was ours – the good, the bad, the Jenny Schecter.

Here are two clips from the reunion show, courtesy the People/Entertainment Weekly Network.

First, Jennifer on saving the world.

Then Ilene on the possibility of a revival.

And here are a few more shots of The L Ladies. Damn, they’ve still got it. Reunited and it feels so gay.

p.s. In that last photo I am imagining Kate and Mia cracking up about the fact that Shenny was ever a thing.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Relationship Goals

Hard same, Sue Perkins. HARD SAME.

p.s. fear not, I will be talking about Gillian on American Gods, soon.