Wednesday, February 22, 2017

You Don't Cate Me

Sometimes the universe drops these little hints that it loves us and wants us to be happy. Two otters holding hands. A baby elephant taking a bath. An epic murmuration over peaceful waters. But all those natural delights, delightful as they are, are subtle gestures when compared to be enormous gift the cosmos handed us this week. Nothing compares to the unbridled joy (and a couple other considerably more salacious emotions) that are evoked by the sight of Cate Blanchett lip synching to Lesley Gore while wearing a glitter tuxedo bustier at a drag benefit for a gun violence prevention at the Stonewall Inn. I know, I KNOW, there’s a lot to unpack there – and all of it is AMAZING. It is stop whatever mundane nothing task you are doing right now, like saving a family from a burning building, and watch immediately amazing.

So let us unpack this wonder of sparkles and sex.

One, we have Cate Blanchett in that glitter tuxedo bustier. Meow.

Two, she is singing Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me.” Iconic.

Three, she is dancing surrounded by drag queens. Squee.

Four, this is all for an incredibly worthy cause. Nice.

Five, the way she picks up those tips. ASDFGHJKL.

A post shared by Rocío López (@clorofila_s) on

*melts forever and ever I am gone goodbye*

p.s. Did I mention she also sways sensually in the background to Adele’s “Hello” while wearing Pussy Hat?

A post shared by Stonewall (@thestonewallinn) on

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Good Recap

Hey, hey, hey. Guess what? No, sorry, everything since November hasn’t been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream. But! Here is something I hope you will find not so terrible and maybe even good. I’m recapping again. Yes, indeedy.

The kind folks at Autostraddle are having me write recaps for the new CBS All Access show “The Good Fight” (a spinoff of “The Good Wife). So far the show is essentially TGW but without Carol Hathaway, Big or BAMF Kalinda. Instead it has Ygritte, more POC and lesbians. So, not a terrible trade in my book. The show premiered on Sunday and the first recap is up now at Autostraddle. If you’d be so kind, I’d love you to pop on over and have a look right here.

More not horrible, very exciting news – I’ll also be recapping “The Handmaid’s Tale” for them when it debuts on Hulu in April.

This is all very exciting and I’m thrilled to become part of this smart, vibrant and inclusive community.

Monday, February 20, 2017

My Dinner With Hillarys

Hey, want to start your week off right? Want to start your week off in the world we all wish we lived in? Want to go to there? Then please enjoy Hillary Clinton and Kate McKinnon having a nice quiet dinner together in New York late last week. We all know Hillary has been wandering in the woods and catching all the Broadway shows in the process of living her best life post-election. (Lord knows, she deserves it.) Meanwhile, Kate has been busy playing pretty much every member of the Trump administration.

Just imagine, if you can without sobbing, what it would have been like with four glorious years of Kate's Hillary impersonations on SNL. We lost that, and obviously so (so, so, so) much more. But, at least they can share a nice meal together and talk about the could have beens. And we get a glimpse of dinner we would very much like to be invited to.

p.s. Apologies for posting this early over the weekend. But here is a little reminder of the chemistry these two have in real life. Dammit, you know they would be such great dinner company together.

Friday, February 17, 2017

My Weekend Crush

The night is too often dark and full of terrors. But sometimes, just sometimes, it hands us these little gifts. These precious surprises. These unexpected moments of grace. “San Junipero” is one of those little gifts. If you know anything about “Black Mirror,” the anthology series that adds a dark technological spin to the “Twilight Zone” concept, you know happily ever after isn’t necessarily its thing. But I had heard about its “San Junipero” episode since last fall when it premiered. But then life, and the horrifying world, got in the way.

But this month, finally, I found the time and head space to sit down and watch. To really watch. And, goodness, am I glad I did.

If you haven’t watched already, I really don’t want to give too much away. Figuring it all out for yourself is such an essential part of this journey. Through the whole episode I felt as if the answer was right there, so close, I could graze it with my fingertips. But I never got their until they wanted me to, until at last I could embrace it.

But the set-up is a flashy good-time girl named Kelly (the vivacious Gugu Mbatha-Raw) meets a bespectacled quiet girl named Yorkie (Emily Blunt look-alike Mackenzie Davis) in 1987. They’ve found each other in San Junipero, a place of seemingly endless, all-night parties. And there’s an attraction, almost instantly. Which is fought because these things are always fought. But then it isn’t. And there is Belinda Carlile. Forever.

Plus, and again I do not want to give too much away, it features perhaps the most clever subversion of the Bury Your Gays trope to ever be seen on screen.

The questions evoked by “San Junipero” are the biggest ones there are. What is a happy ending? How long can love last? Who defines consciousness? Is the 80s your era?

What I will say, because you should really experience this for yourself, is that at times it seems we have so few shots at happiness in this world. And even when we find it, it can be so fleeting. So when you do, enjoy the hell out of it. Enjoy it for as long as you can – however long that may be. We make our own happy endings. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

With Wives Like These

Hey, does watching the news make you literally want to scream endlessly into the black void of existence while simultaneously rocking back-and-forth in a corner and crying nonstop? Me too! But, good news, fun things still exist. Good things still exist. And finding joy is a fucking political act in 2017. So, here is some joy. Remember last fall, back when we all still felt pretty confident Hillary would win and the world wouldn’t devolve into a cesspool of villainy and incompetence? Well that’s when I told you all about Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher’s new series “Take My Wife.” And we all watched the free first episode together and we liked it and we were like, “Yes, yes! Quality lesbian content! Thank you, series of tubes!”

But then things got busy and you were like, I’ll watch it after the election. Because we had no idea the world as we knew it was about to end. But then the unthinkable happened and, let’s be honest, we took all of November and probably most of December off to recuperate/sob. And so the New Year started and we were all doing cardio and stretching to get ready for our new anticipated hellscape. But then it happened and it was so much worse than we could have thought and every day feels like 20 days. Like, come on, how is any of this even happening? So we marched and we made signs and we called out fucking congress people and we cursed – so much cursing. Still, a gal can only live on white-hot rage and clever chant slogans for so long.

So, finally, you sit down and watch the rest of the season of “Take My Wife.” And, girl, it’s good. It’s funny. It’s smart. And, of course, the stars have amazing chemistry (duh, hello, married). Plus, it also has real things to say about real subjects, but not in the After School Special kind of way where Helen Hunt jumps out of a plate-glass window because don’t do drugs, kids. Like, that is one of the best handlings of the whole “rape joke” controversy I have ever seen (there is also more than the scene below, but I won’t spoil it for you)

Plus, and this is truly a bonus, no lesbians die. Or are evenly gravely injured. Fine, maybe just a tiny bit of their pride. But it is consensual. I know, what you are thinking is, ”What?” How is that even possible? Don’t they know like the Rules of Television Lesbianism?

Anway. As I was saying. Find your joy where you can. And it was truly a joy to watch “Take My Wife.”

p.s. You can watch the whole season on Seeso, thought I know you still have no idea what that is. But, rest assured, it is a real thing and they even have free trials.

p.s.s. Did I mention that after each episode Cameron and Rhea process the episode? Like, seriously, how gay is that? So gay.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

From Russia With The Opposite of Love

[Cue extreme Jan brady voice] Russia! Russia! Russia!

Hey, remember back last July when Donald Trump called on Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails and everyone was like, “Hahahaha, that scamp.” And then Hillary warned every one, repeatedly (like, seriously, a lot) that Trump was compromised by Russia and everyone was like, “That’s nice, BUT HER EMAILS.” And then Russia actually did interfere to influence our election, just like Trump asked them to. And now here we fucking are? Yeah. That was fun.

Anyway. Here is Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanov, kicking some Russian ass for your personal enjoyment for no reason whatsoever. Наслаждаться!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

All You Need Is Love Song

Ah, love songs. I know, I know. Some of you might not be in the mood. Others of you have your own favorites you play on repeats in your hearts. But on this day, of all days, I wanted to share a sweet love song with you. So whether you’re spending this day with someone special or just plan to be extra special to yourself, feel the love courtesy the imitable Brandi Carlile and her lovely wife Catherine Shepherd. Happy Valentine’s Day, kittens.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Trump You Very Much

I am sharing this with you because a) It is funny, and b) It probably drives Donald Trump crazy to have a black woman portray him on TV. Like, really, really crazy. Like he definitely threw something against the wall with his tiny, tiny little orange hands when he saw Leslie Jones playing him. And anything that annoys The Great Hate Pumpkin makes me very, very happy. Which, in my book, is a pretty good way to start a week.

p.s. Pro Tip: Hurling insults at Trump on Twitter is oddly therapeutic and literally the only good thing about having a spoiled toddler who likes to tweet as our president.

Friday, February 10, 2017

My Weekend Anne

I won’t lie, I don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, OMG, a new Anne of Green Gables. If you have been here for any length of time you know Anne Shirley is one of my favorite characters, period. I remain convinced Anne and Diana were bosom friends with benefits. I have read, and this is not being hyperbolic, everything L.M. Montgomery has ever written. Fine, everything she published in the United States that I could get my hands on about Anne and Avonlea and Emily and Pat and even “The Story Girl.” Hell, I made my family vacation on Prince Edward Island. Megan Follows was one of my first crushes so interviewing her was one of the highlights of my professional life.

So I come at the new Netflix adaptation of “Anne of Green Gables” with a mixture of hope and dread and nervous excitement. Will it be as good? What does “grittier” mean? So now we see our first glimpse of our new Anne in action and I’m… I don’t know. She certainly looks the part from the books. A thin, small face with all those freckles and red hair. She looks decidedly more gawky than Megan, which isn’t bad necessarily.

My only real complaint right now. That weak-ass slate slap. Dude, Anne SMASHES her slate over Gilbert’s head when he calls her “carrots.” There’s no tepid slap. Crush that thing, girl.

So, what do you think. There’s really not enough here to say anything definitively. Though, I feel pretty safe in saying that no matter what, this new adaptation has to be better than that weak-ass PBS version with Martin Sheen terribly miscast as Matthew. Let us never speak of that version ever again. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Gay Ladies, Mark Your Calendars

Hey, gay ladies, mark it down. And all people who are friends with gay ladies, take note. June 9, 2017. “Orange Is the New Black” is back. So don’t bother us, we’re watching.

p.s. I am both incredibly excited and incredibly dreading this year’s return. After what happened (sniffle, wail, still not over it) and how it ended, things seem to be going form bad to worse to oh fuckfuckfuck. I am both not ready and can’t wait.