Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Please hold

So, I have jury duty today, which I totally forgot about until the time I was actually supposed to appear in court. So, long story short, an hour and 20 minutes later and I'm sitting in the jury assembly room and today's post is going to be delayed. I do hope to have it up before the end of the day so please keep checking back. Also, feel free to send in your tips for avoiding jury selection. Unfortunately in my rush this morning I left my Princess Leia outfit at home. Blerg.

UPDATE: Unlike Tina, I was dismissed. I went with Playboy instead of Playgirl. It made all the difference.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

so thats why no post yet. dont worry we still love you

CAB said...

When asked if you are able to serve on a jury I find that saying "Oh yes, I can spot a guilty person a mile away" Of course... being a lesbian might get you off the jury depending on the case ;)

J9 said...

I think being really super excited about serving on a jury, and stating that you can't wait to do so will actually get you out. Also being related to a law enforcement officer.

Anonymous said...

just tell the judge that anyone arrested by those fine men and women in blue must be guilty. the cops would never arrest anyone unless they had truly commited a crime

yeuxsaphire said...

I have found in the past that telling the judge you are related to corrections officers doesnt work, telling the judge you are self employed and have to work to eat doesnt work, telling the judge you know one of the lawyers doesnt work, but if its a messy criminal case and finding out the case can go for months and hearing about shootings etc is disturbing to you then bursting into uncontrollable tears does tend to work :>) oh...forgot one..buy a plane ticket to anywhere that overlaps the trial time as that does tend to work also (for future reference of course as you are already stuck in the process). Good Luck.

lefty said...

Cough like you have swine flu, put a small amount of tabasco sauce on the part of your hand people use to rub their noses. You'll be scot free in no time.

sparksnsmoke said...

Talk. A lot. Ask rambling questions. They won't pick you if they think you are a loon.
Barring that- tell them you are in favor of capitol punishment. Mention an eye for an eye.
I always seem to get picked for juries and it is because I'm quiet and sane-appearing.

carina said...

Doesn't these two look very lez? I think so!

http://i36.tinypic.com/ftq7ft.jpg

This is Alexis Stewart (Martha's daughter) and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt.

Anonymous said...

you always say things that sound racist and/or ignorant. they will definitely not want you as a juror

Anonymous said...

Ok - this ticks me off enough to comment. Jury duty is a privilege. You should be honored to participate in this great process. It may sound corny but if you or someone you love is accused of a crime or wronged by someone's negligence, you want them to be treated fairly. The fact that we can turn to a group of other citizens and say right this wrong, judge my actions, is a wonderful thing. We're not subjected to firing squads or other such dictatorial crap. This is a huge sore spot for me. I'm an FBI Agent and when I work my ass off and the subject doesn't plead guilty, I want someone to judge my work fairly. BTW - It was a crappy day.

Jan_Ham said...

I have to say I'm with the FBI agent on this one. I understand for some people jury participation is an economic burden, and those people have my sympathies, and I hope they receive accommodations. Nevertheless and generally speaking, for me jury participation is like voting, as much a responsibility as a privilege.

Anonymous said...

so, uh, the fbi woman: first, what a great job you must have. with respect to your opinion that we should feel privileged to be apart of the penal system doesn't mean that we want to be apart of it. for many reasons, naturally. some don't believe the process works (no matter how kosher you think the system might be compared to other forms of government doesn't necessarily mean that it couldn't be better.) and on top of this, if you don't want to be on jury duty for whatever reason this may be might mean you wouldn't be the best juror, and not serving out 'justice' as another would. just my two cents.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

HA! I got out of jury duty last month by just being me :) Hey, I'm willing to judge people, anyone at all. Throw 'em up there :D

the crustybastard said...

Protip: have something to say about virtually every voir dire question. The adage in the legal world is, "You talk, you walk." However, most people who serve end up really enjoying the experience.

That said, I'll echo the sentiments of the anonymous FBI agent, generally. However, I'll temper my endorsement of such virtuous pronouncements by saying that our judicial system has brought the public's antipathy upon itself by demonstrating that it simply doesn't value juror's time or effort.

It's not a "privilege" to be compelled by your government to provide an open-ended term of near-slave labor. Given that such cooperation is enforced by threat of incarceration, it's hardly voluntary either.

In my state, jurors earn $7 per day. Yeah, you read that right. About $1/hr. That's just straight-up offensive.

The litigious ancient Athenians had huge juries and paid jurors the day wage of a skilled laborer and people were happy to serve.

We're a wealthy country, we fund our justice system amply. Nobody else in that courtroom is expected to work for free. If we genuinely value competent jurors and consider service a privilege, it's time to put up or shut up.