Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sodium content

So the marketers of “Salt” have a new digital campaign meant to pique interest in Angelina Jolie’s new spy thriller. But try as they might, all they seem to be accomplishing is to make me worry about my sodium intake. “DON’T TRUST SALT!” “SALT MUST DIE!” “SALT KILLS!” Am I the only one who has a sudden urge to look into high blood pressure medications? Also, call me paranoid, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mrs. Dash is behind all of this.

Look, I know they’re trying to be all mysterious. I know they want to build buzz. But come on, they’re missing the biggest marketing advantage this movie has. Hello, your movie star is Angelina Jolie. No one cares about Salt, except possibly the Surgeon General. Everyone cares about Angelina Jolie, except possibly Jennifer Aniston. Just plaster her face all over posters and be done with it. Show her with a gun. Show her kicking ass. Show her with blonde hair. Show her with black hair. Just show her. She’s Angelina freaking Jolie.

I would even prefer slightly off-center, OCD-triggering Angelina Jolie to no Angelina Jolie. Unless, of course, I’ve misunderstood the entire film’s premise and this is really a probing expose of the Morton Salt Girl. Why is she carrying an umbrella while spilling salt? Is the salt some sort of chemical weapon? Is she a terrorist? Oh my god, SALT DOES KILL!

Though, now that I think about it, Angelina in a movie about the Morton Salt Girl, now that’s a movie that screams Oscar. The unwanted water retention alone would nab her a nomination.

18 comments:

Ab said...

Haha, I'm totally with you on the whole salt thing. When I first saw the second poster, I thought it must be some new government initiative to stop us eating salt. (If it was they would no doubt have a better impact if Angelina's face was splashed across them) MacDonalds will not be happy.

Anonymous said...

can't stand jolie and bad actress too

Ab said...

Angelina was great in 'Girl, Interrupted' - that was a brilliant film. I haven't seen her in anything else though, so I can't give an overall opinion.

Big Shamu said...

Hey who stole my Cranky Bitch Pants.

lookatthestar said...

LMAO! This is ridiculously funny! Is this a movie with Angelina freakin Jolie kicking ass or is it a health documentary with Angelina freakin Jolie promoting awareness about SALT consumption? hahaha..

theliminalstate said...

roflmao!!!! The Morton salt girl is a terrorist...I hope Sarah Palin doesn't read this or she'll be tweeting that rumor all over the world.



.....still laughing!

Norma Desmond said...

Yeah... I can't really stand Jolie. I've never quite gotten her appeal, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...for some reason this movie just leaves me cold. Normally, I like Angie, but she just doesn't seem very believable in this movie. I know, I know, it's Angie, so who cares. But after seeing the trailers and posters and stills, I just have no interest in going to see it.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the funny. needed it today.

vrgriffith said...

So with you on this. Angleina in a pose with a gun.

They are very fortunate this Russian spy thing broke when it did.

dc said...

You know what? I'm over Angelina. My interest in her has gradually gone down hill in the past 3 years, and now I can't even conjure up any excitement about her new action movie.

I didn't bother to see Wanted. And I don't think I'll bother with Salt. Maybe one day when it comes on TV when I'm channel surfing...

folkpants said...

So, a little trivia: The Morton salt girl has an umbrella and is seen in the rain because the ad campaign had the slogan "When it rains it pours." The idea was that Morton salt would still pour in the rain and wouldn't clump because of the moisture.

Now that I got my geek out, who gives a shit!? Angelina really is the only advertisement you need.

TheRedBaron said...

I just keeping flashing back to, "Who is John Galt?" Maybe Angelina is starring in a modernized version of "Atlas Shrugged"?

Nox said...

total advertising fail... ignore your major selling point (even if she is feeling a bit blah to the viewers)...

is this their clever attempt to avoid cross publicity over her daughter (good for Angie for telling the media police off)

meh, who cares, more of this... more humor, more lovely, more happy =)

Bec said...

My (not so) inner stickler just wishes that they'd put a question mark in their website title - the non-question / statement "who is Salt" pushes all my punctuation-geek buttons.

Angelina with a gun? Yes please!

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO!

Lulu said...

haha yeah, this post totally made my night. and no kidding, just show Angelina Jolie in all of her cat-eyed, full lipped, raven/platinum goddess haired beauty and they'll have a box office hit!
O.O

Shula said...

The movie (particularly last 20 minutes. Yummy! You'll want to see that trust me) was very entertaining. Right now I also think I am enjoying a movie more if it's not in 3D. Inception was thought provoking. Salt was just a whole lot of fun action.