Music Monday: Season of the Witch Edition

Yes, I know, October doesn’t start until tomorrow. But my local hardware store had its Christmas display out in full force this past weekend. So I hardly think I’m jumping the seasonal gun here. May we all have a wild and witchy October. Spooky season can also be sexy season, if you know the right witches (with an assist from Joan Jett, of course). Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Baking) Crush

Look, I am always going to count “The Great British Baking Show/Great British Bake Off” as a gay show. Because of the baking and the pastels, duh. And even if I’m not sure if we’ll have any queer amateur bakers this time around (I mean, I have my suspicions of the boys, but none so far of the gals), this show remains gay. Or, at very least, my televised Xanax is an LGBTQ+ ally. So, ready, set, bake for a new season. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Just Cate

This has been a busy week so all I have for you today is Cate Blanchett in a white suit wearing a key necklace with her hand in her pocket. So, you know, do with this imagery as you will.

Agatha (Was Gay) All Along

Well, well, well. Look what show is just begging me to bring back Lesbian Subtext Recaps. Yes, I know, in this year of Our Lesbian Jesus 2024 these should be Maintext Recaps. But, you know, this is Disney, after all. Though all the obviously gay chemistry between Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza in “Agatha All Along” is clearly not just in our heads. These women, well, they know what they’re doing. I just hope as the series goes on, it becomes less nudge-wink and more out there. Because, I mean, how much gay can it get than this already? Let me count the ways.

Agnes of Westview/Witch of Easttown carries coffee like this (and that’s not even counting the flannel.)

Aubrey Plaza’s Rio Vidal is introduced like this. Like she’s lesbian David Caruso or something.

Then she proceeds to tell Agatha this.

And then comes over to her place after work and tells her THIS.

Like the ex vibes are off the charts.

As I was saying.

I rest my case.

So, thoughts?

Tank Top Tuesday: Wishful Winslet

I am going to count whatever Kate Winselt has on under that jacket as a tank top. Do I know that it’s a tank top? No. Can I confirm that it’s a tank top? Again, very much no. Do I believe in my heart it is a tank top? Yes, obviously. And, truly, isn’t that what matters? Look, if one whole major party presidential nominee doesn’t need to be even remotely in touch with facts anymore (not that his little orange hands had any grip on facts in the first place), I can believe with my whole heart that we’re witnessing a tank top moment from Kate Winslet.

Also, believing it’s a tank top helps distract from the fact that this photoshoot was in The Telegraph. But at least it was considerate of her to pair my favorite kind of top off with my favorite other kind of top – namely, a suit jacket. See, dreams really do come true.

Music Monday: Melissa Met Chappell

The mash-up you didn't know you needed @ChappellRoan 🫶🎸#RedWineSupernova

🎥: Lary Chinowsky on Youtube pic.twitter.com/Ku8vYy3UQN

— Melissa Etheridge (@metheridge) August 29, 2024

Holy cross-generational lesbian fandoms uniting, Batman! Or, I should probably say, Batwoman (or Batgirl, again with the cross-generational). I wish I had better video of Melissa Etheridge starting out “I Want to Come Over” with Chappell Roan’s “Red Wine Supernova.” But the precious few seconds we have are enough to make me want to clip my carabiner keychain to my belt loop, grab my Carhartt jacket, jump in my Subaru and, well, come over. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

I have been relentlessly mocked by some friends (in my exact same age bracket, I might add) for expressing my excitement at the new Matlock reboot. But you know what? Me and my creaky joints are unabashedly not ashamed about being hyped to watch Kathy Bates run legal circles around a bunch of whipper snappers. And my Gen X heart is so full with the use of Britney Spears to promo the series. Like, yasss, you understand my demographic perfectly! Look, I honestly have been waiting for this series for well over a DAMN YEAR. So while I am youthful for my age, I am also cranky and impatient and did I mention those joints? Look, underestimate women of a certain age at your own peril, TV and world. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Will & Harper Edition

Now isn’t this a perfectly heartwarming way to Gender Fuck your Thursday? Comic Will Ferrell and former SNL head writer Harper Steele made a documentary about a cross country road trip the two friends made after the latter’s transition. I feel like Harper’s story has the potential to move a lot of people, heck I was moved by this 2-minute trailer. Something about the combination of allowing trans people to tell their own stories, coupled with the familiar safety of a beloved figure like Ferrell – gosh, how relatable it all feels.

Now, excluding contemptibly avowed transphones like that horrid wizard lady and squalid space man, I think most people just suffer from lack of exposure to trans people. It’s the same as gay rights, before people came out in larger numbers many people thought they didn’t know any gay people. So now, as more trans people find the space, community and resources to come out and transition it’s more important than ever for us to support them. These cynical efforts to separate the L, G, B from the T and Q is unacceptable. As if hate is somehow stopped by hating on another underrepresented and marginalized group. So I plan to watch this and hope it will open some hearts that might not ordinarily be opened. We all deserve a place in this America, it’s all of our country. And don’t let them forget it.

Falling for Fall TV

Now, mostly I recommend shows with queer female leads because representation still matters and all that good gravy. But, sometimes shows without queer female leads can be equally great. And if those shows are created by and star very talented actors of color, well, damn – representation means all representations so pass me the remote. Two such shows I happily stumbled upon with the start of the new fall season are “English Teacher” (on FX and Hulu) and “How to Die Alone” (also on Hulu).

The former is from writer, creator, actor Brian Jordan Alvarez (you may remember the out actor as Jack’s flight attendant husband Estefan Gloria on the “Will & Grace” reboot) and the latter is from writer, creator, actor Natasha Rothwell (who as long-suffering spa staff Belinda was the only remotely sympathetic character on “White Lotus” season 1).

Both feature main queer characters. Alvarez plays the titular gay English teacher at a present-day suburban Texas high school and Rothwell’s JFK airport work bestie is gay. And both, at least so far, are really quite good. Funny, incisive. This is what happens when you let talented POC and members of other marginalized groups tell their own stories. Creative takes on popular themes! Originality! Hilarity! Even a little pathos! More shows like this please, TV. So many more.

The Gay Emmys

So how gay were the Emmys? The Oscars better step it up this year, because the Rainbow Mafia looked good, won good at this year’s TV awards fest. I won’t bore you with all the straight winners, etc. etc. (Like, how did I not know that Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup were married? The Straights, I swear.) Anyway, here are the most notably queer shit at this year’s award show.

Jodie Fucking Foster

Really and truly I cannot get enough of this wildly happy, wildly successful, wildly gay era of Jodie’s life and career. Everytime I see her all glammed up with with Alexandra Hedison I think, see, big gay dreams can come true. I hope Jodie signs up for some kind of prestige limited TV series every few years (her, Kate Winslet and Gillian Anderson can rotate seasons) to keep her and Alex on the awards part circuit for our personal enjoyment? What? We can’t get a little residual happiness off her big gay glow these days?

Hacks & Hannah Einbinder

Yes, I know, it’s inappropriate to secretly be an Avorah shipper. But, I mean, deep down we’d all at least like to see what would have happened if Ava hadn’t woken up from that dream when she did, right?

Niecy Nash-Betts & wife Jessica Betts

Honestly, does Niecy not not have the most handsome arm candy always at these things? I swear. It’s almost unfair.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Whereas these two always look like the royal court for the May-December Queer Prom.

Nava Mau & Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” LGBTQ+ cast broke ground both with Nava’s nomination and Jessica’s win. Which means I probably should watch “Baby Reindeer” after all, shouldn’t I?

Jane Lynch & Sue Sylvester

I only wish Jane and Ilona Maher interacted onstage instead of Coach Beard, for obvious reasons.

Meredith Baxter & Other TV Moms

Lest we forget, the mom from “Family Ties” came out like 15 years ago. So, my grade-school crush on Michael J. Fox remains vindicated.

Ayo Edebiri & Reba

When you come out as queer, you need to stand next to random queer icons for photos. And, like, I think Reba qualifies, but I may need to consult the rule book since I never followed contemporary country close enough to know for sure about her.

Kristen Kish

Like all that AND she can cook. Again, unfair.

Lily Gladstone & Greta Lee

Like, yeah I know Greta is married to a fella and whatnot. But like you’d hold Lily’s hand too, and you know it.

Jodie & Kali Reis

I amend my previous statement, where I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series. I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series that features out LGBTQ+ cast and other marginalized voices. Because, you want more pictures like this too, right? Right.

Music Monday: She Bop Edition

Honestly, getting a song about female masturbation on the radio 40 years ago is such a flex that if Cyndi Lauper ever did anything else with her career that alone would have made her a legend. But, luckily for us, she has done so much more. From being the original Girl Power (ugh, I know the concept got commercialized, but still) pop superstar to then continuing to take a stand for the outcasts and the oddballs and the queer folks even before it was popular in most cases makes her an enduring icon. She has never strayed from that inclusive vision since the very start of her careers. And, again, in 1984 she sang about girls getting themselves off and made it a Top 10 hit. So, as I was saying, legacy secured. Also, if you want to learn a little more about that legacy my I suggest her documentary “Let the Canary Sing” on Paramount+. She’s so unusually good, it’s great to watch. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Vengeance) Crush

Aw, man. Look at these two. I almost forgot what it was like to be invested in a long-term, healthy queer couple on screen. Anyway, happy Return to Purgatory Day for all who celebrate. Go figure out how to access Tubi and let’s go kick some demon ass. This “Wynonna Earp: Vengeance” special isn’t going to watch itself. Like, WayHaught hugs await! Happy weekend, all.

Cate for All Seasons

I mean, who amongst us hasn’t dreamt of being chased around by a chainsaw wielding Cate Blanchett? Absolutely no kink shame, indeed. OK, fine, if Cate with a chainsaw is too intense how about Cate in Cluckingham Palace? Holding a chicken your thing?

Nah still? Well, then how about bees? Not the bees! Not the bees! OK, sorry, Wicker Man flashbacks for some of you.

Well, surely, SURELY, you’ll like a short-shorts jumper with knee-high wellies. And a Jeep, for good measure?

There, see, a Cate for everyone.

p.s. I'm like one of those late-night infomercials from the 90s! But wait, there's more! How about Cate belly dancing with a spoon belt? As I was saying, a Cate for all seasons.

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It’s Agatha Season

Honestly, I was kind of over all the Marvel shenanigans. I’ll watch your Avengers. And some of your spinoff Avengers shows. And some of your spinoff from the spinoff Avenger shows. But, truly, at this point I’m tapped. The MCU? More like Meh-CU – amirite? But then, BUT THEN…Agatha came along. A show with a very strong female lead (at least she’s working on getting her very strong mojo back…). A show about witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore with Kathryn Hahn! Aubrey Plaza! Patti LuPone! The mom from “That 70s Show!” And SNL alum Sasheer Zamata who just came out as a “late in life lesbian!” And just when I’ve finally settled into spooky season. Yeah, fine. OK, I will happily watch this series. And Emma Caulfield is returning as her WandaVision character for all the Buffy (but not necessarily Joss Whedon) fans out there. As I was saying, yeah, fine. I will watch this in the spirit of the Sanderson Sisters et al. Look, if they can make 10 movies about Spider-Man, they can make a second show about powerful witches. Because, you know, witchy representation matters.

Any Lesbians In the Building?

Lights, camera, murder! Everyone’s favorite multi-generational true crime murder podcasters are back, and investigating the gayest murder so far. OK, fine, perhaps killing off (or at least so it seems…though the knee joints are hard to fake…RIP, Sazz) the show’s most consistently queer character might not be my favorite way to start a new season. Though I do enjoy the extra hallucinatory Jane Lynch we’re getting to see this season instead. Plus, great homicidal queer representation with the bonus [Spoiler Alert if you haven’t watched the first two episodes yet…] Jan sighting. Anyway, I think what I’m trying to say is for a show set in New York City it needs more consistently queer characters. No, Mabel Season 2 does not count unless we see some of the same in Mabel Season 4 (we all know there was none Mabel Season 3). Harumpf. I will, however, accept more scenes where Meryl Streep chews the scenery as an apology – for now. In conclusion, more gays please – and not just as murder victims.

Music Monday: New Beginnings

Well, my divorce became official over the weekend. So, that’s that. It’s a good thing, but still feel...strange. Anyway, here’s a song for us all. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

I consider the fact that “Somebody Somewhere” is getting ready to release its third season a minor, but definitely not insignificant, miracle. That its third season will be its last, alas, can’t even dampen my excitement. This little show with a big, open, wonderful heart is perhaps my favorite show on air right now. It’s definitely my favorite show about Midwestern lives. Nothing much happens and everything happens, and ain’t that life in a nutshell. Knowing I’ll get to return to the lives of Sam and Joel and Fred Rococo et al fills me with so much quiet joy. In fact I will consider it a balm for this election season. It’ll premiere nine days before the election, and be there for us after it as well no matter the result. Though, you know you wanna party with all these Midwest misfits when we win. Happy weekend, all.

Clea Creates

Don’t you just love it when good things continue to happen to good people? I’ve been a Clea DuVall fan for well over a quarter century (which, ouch, I old). Of course 2000’s “But I’m a Cheerleader” cemented my eternal love for her work. But over the years it’s been extremely gratifying to watch her blossom as a filmmaker and director. And I think those of us who can remember her long-ago closeted days (I still have that OUT magazine somewhere with her and Natasha Lyonne posing as two ostensibly straight actors), feel even more gratified that her body of work behind the camera continues to be out and proud. From “Happiest Season” (yes, I know, it had its problems but STILL) to “High School” (which was criminally underappreciated, go watch it on FreeVee, it’s FREE), she is forging a super gay path filled with super interesting work. You love to see it!

So I’m thrilled to see that her next two projects appear to both center women and at least for one have queer storylines. It’s been announced that Clea will write and direct the series “Perfume & Pain” as well as direct the film “ Abbi and the Eighth Wonder.”

The latter is a “female-driven comedy adventure film.” There isn’t much else out there about the plot right now, but according to a script review site the period piece set in the 1930s follows the female assistant to a famous, and famously misogynist explorer, who dies suddenly and decides to take his place adventuring. She teams up with a female gossip columnist named Jo, and try to find the Eighth Wonder of the World. (The script review site was also sad that the misogynist explorer explorer was killed off and the story instead featured two women working together with a “feminism is awesome” theme, so take it all with a snow shovel of salt.) I don’t know if anything gay happens, but it has a female character named Jo, so there’s that.

Meanwhile Clea’s TV project “Perfume & Pain” does have explicit sapphic themes. The series is described as ““a sexy and twisted character drama following a hopelessly romantic and equally reckless sapphic novelist on the verge of superstardom and simultaneously total self-destruction – depending which way the wind blows and what pill she pops next. Astrid will need to write her own deliverance into healing, true love, and success… before she succumbs to the vices that threaten to tear her apart.” The series is being produced by Christine Vachon’s extremely queer-friendly Killer Films. So, you know, that’s exciting.

I don’t know when either project will be completed (they both seem to be in the early stages without any cast attached). But, goodness, will we have a county of Clea-created goodness to look forward to.

p.s. The crush I had on Clea circa her Graham Era remains undefeated, greasy hair and all.

Islands Girl

This one goes out to everyone with young kids at home or are themselves young at heart (and, yes, I still sometimes sing “How Far I’ll Go” in the shower). Now, normally I’m not too psyched about sequels to kiddie movies. But a sequel to the “Moana” movie? Chee-hoo! And then some! You see, the great thing about “Moana 2” news is it’s also gay news because its lead voice actress Auliʻi Cravalho is bisexual. So her success is queer success. As I was saying, chee-hoo!

This is also a reminder that if you haven’t rewatched “Crush” recently you really should because it was a criminally underrated fun queer teen rom-com. And if you saw the “Mean Girls” musical you know her Janis is a totally queer badass. In short, I’ll take all the Auliʻi I can get. Respectfully, of course. She’s like 23. Anyway, between Cynthia Erivo’s “Wicked” coming out Nov. 22 and Auliʻi’s “Moana 2” the following weekend Nov. 27, fans of wildly talented bisexual actor-singers will be eating well this Thanksgiving.

Tank Top Tuesday: Ilona Issue

I know that Ilona Maher is straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some people are just born that way. But, damn, has she missed an opportunity with queer women everywhere. Like, how you don’t look at this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue digital cover (I know, I know) and not swallow your tongue? Yet she has well chronicled the opposite sex’s difficulties with her, well, body. Oh no, she has broad shoulders and a strong jaw. Oh no, she is strong enough to pick you up and carry you around like a pretty, pretty princess. Yeah, not a problem for us. Not a problem at all. Anyway. The bronze medal-winning US rugby star looks great in the many, many, many, many, many photos of her in various forms of a bikini in this photoshoot. (And, once again, I contend bikinis still fall under the larger Tank Top umbrella. So say us all.) As I was saying, good for her. And, you know, call us if you ever give up on the fellas.

Music Monday: March to the Polls

Even if we all fell for that social media rumor about Beyonce (which is a reminder that no matter how problematic mainstream media can be, they’re still more reliable than TMZ or influencers), the DNC was not without its musical superstars. Stevie Wonder. Lil Jon. Pink. And, of course, The Chicks. I say of course because Natalie, Martie, and Emily have been on the political frontlines for more than 20 years.

The Youths among us may not remember but they were one of the OG cancel culture victims. This was before the term was used as a cudgel by conservatives whining about being shunned for their terrible, hurtful beliefs, but progressives being literally banned from country music radio and having their CDs (gosh, remember those) crushed by, again, literal steamrollers.

That they were able to emerge from that much concentrated bile and refuse to be silenced (or Make Nice, ahem), is a testament to their own foundational beliefs. The ladies released “March” in the summer of 2020 when we were on the verge of another make-or-break American election. And they returned in 2024 to sing the national anthem at the DNC. Sadly, the cause today is no less urgent. I truly think the human body is not equipped to endure THREE Trump presidential campaigns in one lifetime. Yet here we are, marching to the polls once again. Sixty-three days to go, America. Happy Monday, kittens.