The Krashlyn Crash

FINALLY, some true dyke drama worthy this blog’s best and most Sapphic original intentions! Now, I am not one to revel in other people’s misery. And, believe me I know, breakups are almost always some sort of miserable. So I take no joy in the breakup of former USWNT and NWSL stars and longtime celesbian couple Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger. Oh, Krashlyn, Krashlyn. Like, we knew them when they were just *wink, wink* really good friends.

So, yes, their breakup after nearly 4 years of marriage (and with two children) is sad and I take no pleasure in it.

But now, here comes the dyke drama part. First, official news of their breakup dropped days before Ali’s final game in the NWSL this past Sunday, which was a huge celebration of her career. So, you know, the timing is *grimacing emoji face*

Then – because these are the same fans/stans who catalogued every single detail of the pre-out Krashlyn’s dating chronicles – rumors based on sightings started to spread that Ashlyn and Sophia (who had just two months before filed for divorce from her husband) were maybe dating. And then, today, People magazine (yep, still making headline gay news after all these years) drops the bomb that, yes, they are in fact dating.

The Lesbian Bat Signal she is strong and she works FAST.

I say all of this not to pick sides (though, I’m kinda Team Ali because who are we kidding we all pick sides). Still, I am happy to see that we have another proud toaster oven recipient in Sophia, who while I know was the focus of many a queer lady’s wishful thinkings, as all parties involved can now attest, sometimes those wishes are true.

Speaking of us all wishing and hoping the former “One Tree Hill” and “Chicago P.D.” star’s queerness into reality, did you all watch the Netflix anthology series “Easy” from a few years ago? It aired from 2016 to 2019 and I only really care about the final season (season three) and really only one of the episodes (episode 3) because that’s the queer lady one.

Anyway, it starred a pre-“The L Word: Generation Q” Jacqueline Toboni who was so much more femme in the show it now almost weirds me out now. And in Season 3, Episode 3 her character was just dumped by her girlfriend, and is then hit on HARD by her (former, so it’s OK) boss played by Sophia Bush. And, let me tell you, after watching that ONE SINGLE EPISODE OF TV I was like, Sophia Bush knows what it’s like to want to fuck a woman. I think her chemistry made my screen sizzle. So, you know, my gaydar remains undefeated. *polished gay knuckles*

Also, Jacqueline’s character was such a bonehead. I get it, breakups suck. But Sophia Bush has basically thrown herself at you. And you bounce? Yeah, that’s almost on par with Archie Panjabi not following Gillian Anderson onto the elevator in “The Fall.”

Anyway, as I was saying. I am sad that a longtime and, one would hope at least for most of the time, loving relationship has ended. But I’m also grateful for the distraction in a case where I think all three women will land securely on their feet no matter the ultimate outcome. The world is a lot. We need this dykestraction.