Hey, TV. Yeah, you, you big Idiot Box. Look, that I love you is unquestioned. I watch you constantly. We spend more time together than I do with most of my family members. And, let’s face it, you know all of my guilty pleasures. In short, we’re close. So I feel comfortable telling you, in no uncertain terms, that you suck. Yes, suck. S-U-C-K, suck.Look, it’s not your programming (although a lot of that does suck – come on, “Gary Unmarried,” really?). But it’s your scheduling. As in, dude, why are you making me wait so long for my shows to come back-scheduling? Three of my favorite new series this season are settling in for long winter’s naps. Like Rip Van Winkle-long naps. Think I’m kidding?
Vampire Diaries*
Last 2009 episode: Nov. 19
First 2010 episode: Jan. 21
(*Don’t judge: It’s actually really fun.)
V
Last 2009 episode: Nov. 24
First 2010 episode: March
Glee
Last 2009 episode: Dec. 9
First 2010 episode: April 13
WHAT THE HELL? That’s more than FOUR WHOLE MONTHS for “Glee.” And the shortest wait is still two months. These are unacceptably long mid-season breaks. I mean, I understand when networks decide to delay the start of a season. “Lost” and “24” fans can surely commiserate. But putting a crazy long vacation in the middle of your first season is just, well, dumb. It does two stupid things: 1) Kills critical momentum and 2) Pisses off fans.
Fans like me. Now, I’ll probably wait patiently for all these shows to return (though I’m still not 100 percent on “V” – on one hand the plotting isn’t giving me enough, on the other there’s Elizabeth Mitchell). But it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. In fact, I’m exactly the opposite. Anyone who makes me wait four months to see Jane Lynch again is a total loser. L-l-l-l-oser!
So, expect the cold shoulder this winter, TV. Can I ignore you completely? Clearly, no. You’re sitting right there like a big bully in the middle of my living room. But I won’t be watching you as much or as intently. Who knows, maybe I’ll even rekindle my love affair with books. Plus, books never make you wait for no good reason before you can turn the page. Take that, television.
Oh bad news on Glee and V. I don't watch the vampires. What is the reasoning? Money?
ReplyDeletePlease start recommending sexy books in tank tops!
Seriously? No Glee until APRIL?! That is just... just rude is what it is.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, you'll keep running funny pictures of Jane Lynch and her back molar fillings.
ReplyDeletewhat? NO VAMPIRE DIARIES UNTIL... Oh nooooooooooooo.
ReplyDeleteI can't really get behind you on VD -- yes, I call it that on purpose -- but I'm totally bummed that my darling Gleeks will be gone so long. Also, Fox just announced that they won't be playing Fringe during February sweeps, opting for some mid-season replacement instead and making me very nervous for its future.
ReplyDeleteI've kind of gotten used to long hiatuses, what with all the SciFi Channel shows I watch, but it's a bit worrisome when the networks do it. There it usually means a slow death. :(
I'm kind of glad that V is taking some time to figure out what the hell they're doing because even though I kind of like the show, most of the scripts are just clunky and ridiculous. It's as if they have serious writers working on the show when what they need are serious nerds and a couple of asshats.
ReplyDeleteAs for Glee...I don't watch it every wee because it's on opposite Modern Family and I cannot miss that!
Snarker, Glee hiatus does suck but you forgot that Chuck returns in January!
ReplyDeleteI'm getting excited about the return of Chuck too.
ReplyDeleteBut what doubly sucks is that when Glee comes back, they're putting it up against Lost! Which to watch, which to DVR?
Television is such a cruel and heartless bitch of a mistress. I'm still pissed about the Sarah Connor Chronicles getting canceled after the mother of all cliffhangers. Sigh. One of these days (hopefully soon with the way they schedule things) the networks will run themselves into the ground with their lameo schedules.
ReplyDeleteUntil then, can we get posts of women in tank tops reading books? ;D
Miss Surrenders You ROCK!!! This post is a piece of artwork!!!
ReplyDelete