Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bitch, please

What you are about to see is wrong. What you are about to see is very wrong. What you are about to see is very, very wrong. Well, that is, unless you happen to be one of those people who enjoys breasts, nudity, fights, explosions and hot women kissing. With that said, please click play.



OH. MY. GOD. That was awesome, er, I mean wrong. That was incredibly awesome, sorry, I mean terribly sexist. That was totally freaking awesome! Dammit, I mean inexcusably offensive. Shit, who am I kidding? That was fucking genius. That, my friends, was “Bitch Slap.” [Wonderbra snap (in lieu of hat tip), to babsf!]

And, guess what, I haven't even told you the best part. Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor appear in cameos as – wait for it, wait for it – nuns! Yes, that's right – Xena and Gabrielle are together again. See what I was saying about genius?

Called a modern-day B-movie exploitation film, “Bitch Slap” comes to us from former producers/directors of “Xena: Warrior Princess” and “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” (Kevin Sorbo also appears...I'm sensing a trend). They've dubbed it a “feminist, thinking man's, wild and crazy over-the-top exploitation film.” I don't know about all that, but I do know there is a little person who plays a female assassin named “Hot Pocket.”

Look out “Citizen Cane,” you've got serious competition for breast picture of all time. Wait, that came out wrong...

28 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:24 AM

    If this movie is wrong, I don't want to be right. I am sooo there...

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  2. Anonymous4:41 AM

    You sexist pig! Oink!

    What a brilliant, brilliant idea! And Lucy & ReneƩ! Life is good!

    (As if I'm ever going to see this masterpiece...)

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  3. Anonymous5:52 AM

    I'm so proud, I could explode!

    ;))) babsf

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  4. Anonymous6:15 AM

    Oookaaayyyy...this will sure stir up my Christmas holiday.

    Lucy and Renee better be packing heat under those clothes!

    B.B.

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  5. omg...when The Gentleman gets back from vacation she is gonna flip out!!! I did notice some brief, but HOT girl on girl action didn't I? Yes, I did!

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  6. Anonymous7:45 AM

    Holy mother of all things lesbian.

    I need this film like I need a lesbian in congress.

    DESPERATELY.

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  7. Nor since Adrienne Barbeau in Cannonball Run has boobs, and fast cars gone so well together! My jaw hit the keyboard just on the first shot! Are they handing out plastic seat covers at the theater?

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  8. Anonymous9:12 AM

    Hot chicks with guns, what could be better?!
    Just what I wanted for Xmas....

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  9. That. Is. So. Wrong.
    No, wait. So. Hot...Sweet mother of all things lesbian ! I'd forgotten it was my birthday today !!
    That looks like the best movie of the year. It's like Planet Terror with more boobs, or Tomb Raider with girl on girl action (yes theweyrd1, I saw that too...).

    Where do I get the poster ??????

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  10. Anonymous12:31 PM

    Lucy and Renee - as (naughty?) nuns??? :D Hilarious...and oddly exciting!

    (And if my geek-girl eyes don't mislead me, looks like the guy they're beating up on is Micheal Hurst, who played Iolus (sp?) on both Hercules and Xena..)

    I don't usually get into the whole Tarantino-retro-purposefully cheesy genre, but may have to check this out...

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  11. Thank you for introducing me to this movie. I am eternally grateful. Is it Christmas yet?

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  12. Anonymous2:39 PM

    That clip has put a smile on my face. Looks like it has all the elements I love in a movie, hot girls making out, explosions, ass kicking and most importantly Lucy and Renee.

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  13. Ok. I came back JUST to watch this damn video. lol

    All I could think of -- after I stopped drooling of course was...

    "I have GOT to get to the gym!!"

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  14. Anonymous7:26 PM

    This movie looks so sweet!

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  15. EEEEEE!

    Oh yes. Merry Christmas, lesbos!

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  16. Anonymous8:57 PM

    That was indeed Michael Hurst! I have the weirdest crush on him. I think I'll be forgiven once the doubters go watch the video bit on the BitchSlap site. It's brilliant! "A pervaded miasma of jaded ennui..." *sigh*
    This movie looks like candy! Terrible, trashy candy! Or, "tits and guns that make really loud noises". hee! I need a countdown clock for this movie!

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  17. Anonymous10:02 PM

    Can Christmas get here fast enough?

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  18. Anonymous1:21 AM

    soooo wrong.

    *sigh*

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  19. Anonymous2:00 AM

    heh.

    never thought I'd have anything in common with a frat boy.

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  20. Yowsa! This movie has everything!

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  21. Anonymous5:25 AM

    omg. it's... it's... I'm speechless, and I don't know if it's in a good or a bad way.

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  22. If Lucy is there, I'm there!
    Connie

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  23. Kinda looks like a remake of 'Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!'...

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  24. Christmas???!!!!
    I have to wait until DECEMBER???
    (I'm really not good at delayed gratification)

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  25. Anonymous10:40 PM

    Fast cars, explosions, and boobies *sigh*

    Now, if Lucy would just pull an Uzi out from under her habit, cut loose with the Xena war cry, and level everything within a 100-yard radius I would truly be happy :-D

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  26. Anonymous3:01 PM

    This look ginormously funny. ROC as Sister Batril. *snort*

    (cf. Sally Fields roles, you youngn's)

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  27. [right click on image]
    [set as desktop background]
    ...and prepare to get slapped.

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