SGALGG/GGALGG: Gay Golden Gals Edition

As SGALGG has evolved over the years, I think a not-insignificant small sign of progress has been how many out gay gals have snuck in as well. They originally started because, well, there weren’t enough queer celebrities to fill a post so straight acting like gay gals had to do. But these days so many celesbians and queerebrities (I dunno, I’m trying out a new word, just go with it) you could practically post just about them. In fact, I think I will. So here are all the gay gals acting like gay gals (sometimes with other gay gals, sometimes with the obligatory straight gals – not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re here, we’re queer, and our Globes are totally golden.

Jodie Foster

Jodie’s evolution into our reigning Lesbian Elder Stateswoman (LES, for short because of course) has been a true joy to watch. She’s married, she’s winning awards, she’s looking great and she’s doing it all on her own terms. And those terms are stone-cold gay. May we all become the biggest LES possible! Also Jodie showing up with her son instead of wife at the Globes is s true mombian flex. I not-so-secretly hope that Alexandra said take the kid, I’m going to watch it in my PJs like before. Though, I also not-so-secretly hope that Jodie sitting on Kate Winslet’s lap has made Alex reconsider attending next year. That, or the site of her throupling with Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons. Or, possibly, the death-grip Nicole has on her wrist here. Just saying.

Angelina Jolie

They say three makes a trend but we’re talking about queer women here so two will do (what, we move all relationships faster – it’s kind of our thing). The Globes were apparently also Bring Your Child to World day for the queer female nominees. Following in Jodie’s footsteps, Angie showed up with daughter Zahara. She also got hugged by Kate Winslet (Jodie and Angie? Shoot your shots, Kate) and stood very close to Salma Hayek. We’ll take all the beauty proximity we can get.

Ayo Edebiri

Like I don’t know if Ayo has ever openly dated a woman before (at least not in public since she got famous, that I can tell…), but she sure is shooting her shot at becoming the next queer female heartthrob in this suit. First of all, LOVE the golden feather tie. Second of all, love the swagger. Third of all, love all the flirting with Zendaya, Ali Wong, Andrew Scott and, of course, Michelle Yeoh. Oh, and then showing up at the afterparty with a ballcap on? Shots shot.

Cynthia Erivo

I spotted Lena Waithe in the background, so relax everyone. Cynthia continues to live her best gay life. Like who wouldn’t be thrilled to meet Kathy Bates/Evelyn Couch, or sneak a snuggle with Zoe Kravitz or cling to Kate Winslet’s shoulder like she’s a piece of door floating in the icy North Atlantic Ocean?

Sarah Paulson

Dearest, we already did the Cate/Carol thing. But after seeing this photo doesn’t it feel canonically impossible that Sarah isn’t in the second “Wicked” movie somehow? Like, that much queer energy needs to include some Paulson. Make it happen, gay GCI wizards. You have until November.

Emma D'Arcy

I applaud Emma for continuing to show up on red carpets looking like a haunted orchestra conductor. I also applaud them for checking out Michelle Yeoh on the red carpet, as one should to be respectful/horny.

Hannah Einbinder

Speaking of showing respect, I respect the way Hannah makes her and Jean Smart look like the one May-December couple you can’t stop shipping despite all the problematic everythings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into Ava and Deborah. But I am totally into Hannah and Jean. What, I already admitted it was problematic, but the heart wants what it wants.

Auliʻi Cravalho

Since we’re talking queer female heartthrobs, hello. Gen Z, why are you sleeping on Auliʻi Cravalho? Like, I am in a totally different age bracket. But if I was a quarter century younger? Yeah, I’d want to be that rose. Youths, act appropriately.

Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” star and newly minted Golden Globe winner scores major queer points for getting her award from THE Kathy Bates (every queer gal is doing it, see above). I hope she whispered “Towanda!” when accepting the trophy from her.

Kali Reis

I couldn’t find any pictures of Kali and her fine-ass suit hanging with any other celebrities at the Globes. But I did see her connecting with Kathryn Hahn the night before at a Globes pre-party in a different fine-ass suit. So, you know, Gay Card stamped, approved and notarized.

So, any favorite queer moments of the night for you?

Carol & Abby: The Sequel

I’m still a little rusty after the Holiday Twilight Zone of the last two weeks. Instead of a full SGALGG post for the Golden Globes, I thought I would stall and give you these instead. So please enjoy Cate Blanchett and Sarah Paulson at the Globes. Carol and Abby, together again. You’re welcome. You are so, so welcome. You are particularly welcome for that last pictures.

Music Monday: Gods Like Us

Right, so let’s kick 2025’s ass. We are not just the obsequious serfs for the billionaire class. We are the gods of our own lives. And we have electoral, political, and personal power. Also, wouldn’t “Gladiator II” have been so much more interesting if it was about women in whatever Romanesque/Shakespearean/Game of Thonesian setting this is instead of just beefy men beefing in sandals? We grow human life. What can do you do, dude? Lift heavy things? That’s cute. Happy we are gods Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Somebody) Crush

Yes, I know, more “Somebody Somewhere” proselytizing. But while searching for clips from the show, I came across this song from the first episode of the first season. Truly, this song – this scene – sums up the entire series. After finishing all three seasons, if you don’t cry buckets watching early Sam and early Joel find each other in this music, well, then you’re made of stronger stuff than me. May we all find your Sam or your Joel – be they romantic, platonic, familial – in this lifetime or possibly the next. Somewhere there is a place where we belong, each and every one of us. Happy weekend, all.

Ode to the Secretly Gay Pop Stars

If I’m being brutally honest, SNL these days usually only elicits some earnest yet not-overly-enthusiastic guffaws these days – at best. But when cast newcomer Jane Wickline sang this song on Weekend Update late last year, I laughed – like really, really laughed. Like out loud and everything. And then I watched it again, and laughed and laughed. So in the interest of starting this year as hilariously gay as possible, please enjoy Jane’s “Sabrina Carpenter” song. And, not to belabor the “if you asked me on a deeper level” meme, it’s a glorious sign of our continued progress as a queer community that a song about wishing people would think you are gay to increase your cultural cache, but alas instead being recognized as the most benignly straight pop superstar around hits a universal theme. I mean, she really did make out passionately with Jenna Ortega and a female alien and we’re all like, aw, I wonder why her and Barry couldn’t work it out. Truly, if you don’t lose it at the deadpan “Hellllp me” then I’m not sure we can be friends.

Roaring into 2025

I know people clown on this song. But if Lee Greenwood can keep trotting himself out as a pinnacle of MAGA patriotism, we should keep embracing the unabashed feminism of Helen Reddy. “I Am Woman Hear Me Roar” remains as relevant as it was when it was released 54 years ago. Two years later, and Roe v. Wade was decided. This performance, in 1989, came after abortion had been legal federally for 16 years already. Yet here we are nearly four decades later and women and pregnant people have now lost that guaranteed right. Well, fuck that. Fuck them. And for the next four years and beyond I hope we all roar with our disapproval and defiance. Indeed, “women are not without electoral or political power” – so let’s keep working and pressing and demanding our full equal rights and complete bodily autonomy. Roar more in 2025, ladies. Roar more.