Music Monday: Tracy Chapman

Earlier this month Tracy Chapman made history as the first Black artist to win Song of the Year at the CMAs for Luke Combs’s cover of her 1988 hit. And while “Fast Car” is no doubt an iconic song for the ages, her whole catalogue is like that. Heck her whole first album is filled with them. “Talkin' 'bout a Revolution,” “Baby Can I Hold You,” “If Not Now.” But I think one of the under looked bangers from her 1988 debut is “Mountains O’ Things.” The more you listen to Tracy, the more she feels like a prophet. But, really, what she was was clear-eyed about our human condition, and particularly the conditions we’re all forced to live under late stage capitalism. Consume more than you need. This is the dream. She knew more than 30 years ago, yet here we are with even more billionaires and things than ever. After Black Friday weekend, her music remains an apt reminder for these times. Guess we’ll all just deep dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. Happy Monday, kittens.

Holiday Vixen: Sarah Shahi’s Suspenders

Right. So this is the kind of Black (& White) Friday I can get behind. I’m starting to think they really missed an opportunity by not bringing Sarah Shahi back for “The L Word: Generation Q.” Also, close your mouth. You’re drooling.

Thanks Jonesing

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate. And if you must celebrate with relatives who you would just rather not have to anything with, may you also have a Leslie Jones in your life. I mean, granted, we are all on stolen land. But that’s kind of like America’s whole thing, so, yeah. Anyway, I hope you at the very least get some good grub today.

Holiday Vixen: Jodie Foster's Abs

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Jodie Foster’s abs in “Nyad.” I plan to have a more thorough and less horndog whistle review of this very well-done movie sometime soon. But for now I will just say that this is a lesbian movie you can safely watch with the whole family and all ages this holiday weekend (not that people need to be kept “safe” from lesbian content, but we’re also not gonna watch “Below Her Mouth” with nana.) Anyway, like I was saying. Thank you, Jodie Foster’s abs. And arms. And sports bras. And lesbian sunglasses. Truly, so much to be thankful for.

Wish You a Merry Rom-Com

I mean it when I say I am excited to watch this over my long holiday weekend. Tello Films, the longtime purveyor of reliable women-loving-women entertainment, is back this holiday season with another feel-good flick. I’ve been rather busy recently with some genuinely positive life stuff. (Yay, finally.) So I missed the release of this movie by Tello earlier this month and now available to rent or buy. But maybe you, like me, are precisely in the mood for this kind of movie where a woman who is on the brink of losing her family’s horse farm also happens to meet the possible love of her life, who also happens to be the planner her ex-husband’s wedding. Look, just because there’s a rural storyline doesn’t mean they can’t have complicated lives. With horses! You know you want to curl up and watch this while you eat a leftover turkey sandwich. And with that, a gobble gobble to all who celebrate. I’m leaving early for an extended Thanksgiving holiday weekend. So I will leave you the rest of the week with some Holiday Vixens. Until then, we’ll always have the horse farm.

Music Monday: Billie Edition

Billie Eilish came out as “attracted to (women) for real” in a Variety interview last week. It was another one of those casual, yes sincere, admissions that reminds you the Time magazine coming out cover stories days are likely behind us for good. This comes despite the article’s not-so-subtle reference to it being an admission that “a stadium-selling artist from a different era” would require “record-label ruminations about the effect it could have on her career.” And while maybe in that different era I would be cranky about a star not going the direct “Yep, I’m Gay” route, I think what today’s crop of younger just as queer stars shows the natural evolution of coming out. It’s less “Yep” and more “Of Course.” And that is awesome in its own way. Also, it gives “What Was I Made For,” her beautiful existential lullaby, even more resonance. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

As a lesbian getting a divorce let me just say I feel this level of sweet, sweet karma with my whole body. While we’re obviously not taking sides (cough, Team Ali, cough), Ali Krieger got the storybook ending to her professional soccer career we were all no-so secretly rooting for. And while Pinoe’s early exit in the championship match was a bummer, nothing could take away from the sheer joy of Gotham FC’s win. The win also means Ali’s fellow out queer teammates Kristie Mewis, Kelley O’Hara, Delanie Sheehan, Sinead Farrelly and Michelle Betos have some new shiny hardware to show off as well. Plus, it was an exciting game – even without Megan Rapinoe. Women’s sportsball for the win! Soon-to-be divorced lesbians for the win! See, I can be on many teams. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: boygenius everything

I can’t imagine how exciting this all would feel if I were still a 20something dyke trying to figure her shit out. As is I’m a middle-aged dyke still trying to figure her shit out – and I definitely finds it all a little exciting. Truly, I think you don’t even need to be a boygenius fan to be excited about the ride the indie supergroup has been on of late. And you definitely don’t have to be a fan so sad, sensitive lesbian music to care. You just gotta be impressed by how these queer artists have come this year. Cover of Rolling Stone. Cover British GQ’s Man of the Year issue. SNL musical guests/Troye Sivan impersonators. They’re everywhere. They’re everywhere and so gay together. They’re gay and everywhere. Look, the queer lady Beatles are getting youths to sing "kill the bourgeoisie!" How can you not be excited? I’ve never wanted to be a rock star. But when I see boygenius, I suddenly understand the inclination a little more. Also, I just LOVE their suit game. And their backing band’s suit game! And really everything about all of this. Did I mention I’m excited?

More Marvel-ous

Honestly, “The Marvels” wasn’t a bad movie. I wouldn’t say it was a great movie, but it was a fun ride with some super snazzy – and, again – fun fight sequences. Yes, it might be confusing for people who had not also watched the series “Ms. Marvel” or watched “Wandavision” – not to mention the first Captain Marvel film. But all the hand-wringing over “The Marvels” having the worst Marvel Cinematic Universe opening yet is disingenuous because of course “The Marvels” was going to have the worst MCU opening.

Most of the reports that breathlessly called “The Marvels” a flop did at least mention that we’re all suffering from some justifiable superhero fatique. Like, you can’t flood the zone with movies, TV shows, sequels, spinoffs, additional sequels, more spinoffs, more TV shows and even more movies for FIFTEEN STRAIGHT YEARS without people starting to lose a little interest – if for no other reason than the sheer time commitment it takes to watch every damn thing.

But what I haven’t seen reported nearly as much is any reference to the unmistakable sexist fanboy backlash the first Captain Marvel movie faced. Let me tell you, the so-called “anti-woke” crowd hasn’t gotten any less obnoxious in the years since, they’ve just gained their own billionaire fanboys to help amlify their message. So, yeah, of course “The Marvels” wasn’t going to get great numbers. This one has THREE women leads. And two of them aren’t even WHITE.

Please, spare me. It’s not like since 2016 we’re all had to endure an emboldened subset of people who define themselves largely by the things they hate (Libs! Illegals! Diversity! Inclusion! Fair Election Results! Masks! Vaccines! Queers! Libraries!) and dedicate themselves to opposing those things in any and every way possible. Oh wait, we have. We all have and it’s horrible.

Oh, and another thing I don’t see in many of the reports about this blockbuster disappointment is this is the only MCU movie that was released during the SAG-AFTRA strike. So literally none of its actors were able to hit the red carpet or go on talk show to promote this damn thing. The actors strike ended Nov. 9. “The Marvels” premiered Nov. 10. Like, there’s a reason the studios send the stars on huge press tours before their movies come out. Because publicity works!

Anyway, it irks me that most of the mainstream reports I read left out some important context. And it irks me that I have to bring up said context instead of focusing on what originally irked me about the movie. And, once again, it boils down to context.

So here’s the thing, I truly think emotional arcs in “The Marvels” only really make sense if you read Carol Danvers and Maria Rambeau as a couple. Like, I know, blah blah they were besties. And, I know Monica, called her “Aunt Carol,” but her feelings of abandonment literally decades later read more like daughter than anything else.

Also [SPOILER ALERT, BUT IT’S GAY STUFF SO YOU’LL PROBABLY WANNA KNOW] Tessa Thompson’s brief but important cameo as Valkyrie also only makes sense if you read it as the Captain and the King sharing a more-than-platonic past together. I mean, she worse that sharp suit and she called Carol “Marv.” MARV!

If only Marvel was brave enough to go higher, further, fastest when it came to its superheroes and their sexuality.

We Mean It, Girls

Get in losers, the girls are mean again. But, ouch, did you have to lead with “This isn’t your mother’s Mean Girls?” Hit a person where it hurts, their birth year! Look, I’m as excited about the new “Mean Girls” musical movie as the next fake married to Tina Fey and age-appropriately interested in Renee Rapp red-blooded lesbian human being. And I definitely laughed out loud on several occasions (plus yay for Busy Phillipps and Ahsley Park and Jenna Fischer). But why in the world are they seemingly hiding that this thing is a MUSICAL? Definitely not fetch. But Tina looks great (I mean, come on, she looks great - there is a reason she is my Fake TV/Movie Wife) so I’m definitely getting in.

Music Monday: Sing It Sisters

Last week’s Democratic wins in Ohio, Kentucky, Virginia and more are a reminder that abortion is indeed a wedge issue. And that wedge has been nailed firmly between women/other people who can give birth/all their supporters and the Republican Party. So, you know, well done fellas. It’s frustrating to watch the national political reporting class scratch their head with each successive election win for Democrats since the Dobbs decision came down in June 2022 despite the doom-and-gloom Biden polling. Gosh, fellas, perhaps it’s the fact that more than half the population of the country lost a right that they’d had for the last 50 years. Who’d have thunk having full bodily autonomy would be, like, important to so many people. So perplexing. The wins remind me of the progress we lost, and all the women and allies fought so hard only to have to fight all over again. But fight we will. And win we will. Because, as it turns out, people like having civil rights. Or, as Natalie Merchant beautifully sings in her new single “Sister Tilly,” “Here's to the girls in the fray.” Yes, here’s to them all – past, present and future. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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Never let it be said that Mariska Hargitay doesn’t know what she is doing. Mariska Hargitay knows exactly what she is doing. And that is driving all the queer girlies wild. And probably the straight girls. And definitely the theys and thems. And bi dudes and, heck, probably gay dudes. And, sure whatever, straight men. Respectfully, I think we can all say together… What necklace? Happy weekend, all.

Go With the Flo

Belatedly, this has been my Year of Pugh. I finally saw “Don’t Worry Darlings” and made it all three-plus hours of “Oppenheimer” without having to pee and even did a little “Black Widow” rewatch. And, in all of these projects, Florence was the most dynamic presence on screen. I mean, yeah, the short hair and, um, all the rest helps. But I certainly hope she has a long, varied and interesting as fuck career. Also, thanks Vogue Australia for dressing her in what amounts to a fancy bedsheet on this Hump Day. Yeah, that’s all I got. It can’t all be deep, right?

Killer Location

Look, I don’t know if anything gay happens in “A Murder at the End of the World.” But I do know it stars non-binary star Emma Corrin as some sort of pink-haired punk sleuth who gets invited to a billionaire’s compound at the aforementioned end of the world where, wouldn’t you know it, a murder happens. It’s helpful when they put the whole plot in the title like that. I don’t know much more about this limited series other than that Brit Marling (of the “OA”) and Joan Chen (of “Twin Peaks” and “Saving Face”) are also in it and Clive Owen (of lots of stuff, though if we’re looking for gay stuff there’s 1997’s “Bent”) plays the billionaire. Emma’s character also appears to bring their boyfriend, whose haircut I’ve seen on no fewer than half a dozen lesbians in the past year. So, you know, that’s kinda gay. Any thoughts? Feels a little “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” crossed with “The Menu” and a little “Call of the Wild.” But as long as the billionaire is the bad guy and Emma and their pink hair survive, I’m on board.

Music Monday: Tori Edition

While it’s not officially winter yet, it’s November and that’s good enough for me here in California. Cat-in-hoodie season has commenced, and that’s what I care about. So please enjoy this lovely reminder of the passage of time and knowing oneself from the incomparable Tori Amos. When you gonna to make up your mind? Good question. When is there gonna be a Tori Renaissance, à la Kate Bush? Even better question. Happy Monday, kittens.

Vacation Vixen: A Wicked Bath

Yes, this week has a theme. Yes, I’m fine with that. I’m especially fine with that when the theme is ridiculously talented female co-stars immersed in color-coded baths. Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel had a sudsy reunion to celebrate the 20th anniversary of “Wicked.” I don’t really know how to feel about the Ariana Grande “Wicked” movie movie. But I’d definitely feel better if it was Julien Baker in Ariana Grande drag in the role. Alas. Well, we’ll always have Cheno and Adele Dazeem. Rub a dub, ladies. Happy weekend, all.

Vacation Vixen: Lucy & Julien in Pete & Ariana Drag

In honor of Gender Fuck Thursday and Halloween, here is possibly the most mind-bogglingly great celebrity costume from this year’s festivities. Yes, that’s boygenius’s very own Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker as Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. Yes, I repeat, that’s Lucy as Pete and Julien as Ariana. That’s JULIEN AS ARIANA. That kaboom you heard was lesbians’ brains everywhere exploding from the deliciously gender queer fuckery of it all. The gays remain undefeated this Halloween, as always.

Vacation Vixen: Birthday Girl

It’s my birthday and I’ll post a Vacation Vixen if I want to. And I really, really want to. I mean, who wouldn’t want Gillian Anderson all wrapped up in an oversized suit like a posh present? But I call dibs as birthday girl and all. Well, I made it another year around the sun, so that’s something to celebrate I suppose. This year I’m taking a few days off to visit friends and generally not. So in my absence please enjoy an extended weekend of Vixens. Thanks, as always, for your care and your generosity and your readership. I am still bad at thank yous, but believe me when I say that I truly am grateful for you, dear kittens, particularly this past year. Go drink a cocktail in my honor tonight, or crack open something nice at home. Or just stare lovingly at Gillian and her enormous collar. I think I might just do all three. It is my party, after all. And it sure beats crying.

p.s. If you feel like buying your host said drink, a reminder that I have a Venmo (@dorothy-snarker) and Paypal (idgie2@hotmail.com) and always gratefully accept tips.