Some of Them Hormones

The day has come. The day I’ve reached the Evelyn Couch Event Horizon. I am officially in the Evelyn Age Bracket from “Fried Green Tomatoes,” as a woman in her late 40s who is struggling with “The Change.” And while I have not taken a class about my vagina or crashed my car into any whipper snappers — YET — these days I often feel the impulse to just Towanda my whole damn life. My perimenopause started when I had my period three times in five weeks earlier this year. And it has continued with a cacophony of other delightful symptoms — from your standard hot flashes to wild mood swings and undeniable brain fog. In fact, if you’re reading here and see a word out of nowhere that doesn’t make any sense, that’s just my tired broken brain doing its best these days.

It seems wild that “Fried Green Tomatoes” remains one of the few mainstream films to deal with menopause head-on. In the 32 years that have passed since its release, the topic remains somehow still too taboo. Yet basically all women and people with female reproductive organs experience this in their lives. ALL OF US. And let me tell you, it is not subtle nor sweet — and definitely not something to be kept secret. We should talk about it. I can’t stop talking about it. Honestly, it makes me feel kinda crazy. Couple that with other huge recent life events and some days I feel like my entire existence is about to break through the bottom of Evelyn’s paper-thin Piggly Wiggly grocery bag. Yesterday, a 30-second video tweet of Elmo (yes, ELMO) saying “Happy Pride!” made me weep. Things are not OK inside my skull, clearly. But I am working on it, and honestly knowing the “Why” does at least help. Now, onto the what to do next. Speaking of Evelyn, has anyone else got themselves some hormones? I am also not opposed to Stress Tabs No. 4. I feel like Jessica Tandy was onto something.