Everything Everywhere All At Oscar

Now that we’ve had a week to digest the Oscars news, I have been on a mission to watch all of the best picture nominees this year. I’m pretty sure I haven’t watched every single best picture nominee since they switched to having 10 films in the category over a decade ago. But this year is doable because I’ve already seen 9 out of the 10 — though the 2+-hour German war movie I have left to watch might be a slog. Speaking of which, *long whistle*, this year’s nominated movies are LONG. Like very, very long like 8 out of 10 are 2+ hours. Like if you watched them all back-to-back-to-back it would take 23 hours and 50 minutes. The average run time is 2 hours and 23 minutes. “Avatar: Way of Water” is of course the longest at 3 hours and 12 minutes. But, like, did “Top Gun: Maverick” need to be 2 hours and 11 minutes long? Yeahhhh. And we definitely did not need the 2 hour and 39 minute runtime for that assault on the senses that was the “Elvis” whatever that was. But, of course, the shortest nominated film this year? Yeah, it’s “Women Talking.” You see, this is Hollywood after all. (It clocked in at a very respectable 1 hour and 44 minutes).

This year had its share of surprises and snubs (like, hello, “Blonde,” what?) But I am going to savor all of the love for “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Hands down this movie with its dildo swordfights, kinetic game of buttplug keepaway, emotionally complex rocks and hot dog fingers was my favorite movie of the year, if not of the last several years. EEAAO made me laugh and cry and just feel more than almost anything I’ve watched in a while. So I am beyond thrilled for all of its 11 nominations and that its entire principal cast got rightfully recognized (especially the sublime Stephnie Hsu, who has wrongly been left off of some other awards nominations this year but was thankfully not forgotten because Jobu Tupaki will not be denied).

And can we talk for a second about all this Asian Excellence? Like, be still my little gaysian heart. Four Asian acting nominees. FOUR. Michelle Yeoh. Stephanie Hsu. Ke Huy Quan, who happens to be one of the very first Asian faces I ever saw in mainstream entertainment. Hong Chau for “The Whale.”(In case you are curious, the previous record was in 2020 when “Minari” got two acting nods and Riz Ahmed was also nominated for “The Sound of Metal.”) Michelle Yeoh being the first woman who identifies as Asian to be nominated for Best Actress. (Merle Oberon was nominated in 1935, but she hid her background and passed as white.) And, again, can we talk about Stephanie Hsu? Like, I still vividly remember her Secret Deodorant commercial from just a few years ago. And now, a much deserved Oscar nomination.

Anyway, besides being forever salty about Ana De Armas and/or Andrea Riseborough (!?!) getting Viola Davis’s nomination, I’m going to watch and root root root for the movie about healing the pain of generational trauma and finding happiness through loving one’s lesbian daughter to take home all the awards. And, as much as I love Cate Blanchett, give that naked golden man to Michelle this year please. Lydia Tar already has an EGOT anyway, amirite?