Pre-L: “Quiz Show” (303)

Before we start things off, can we just address that this is the very first episode of “The L Word” in going on nine seasons to have a title that does in fact NOT start with an “L” word. But, I see what they did there. It starts with a “Q,” as in Generation Q (indeed it appears four of this season’s 10 episodes will have “Q” titles instead). But I know the only next generation question you care about is whether we are really going to see less of Bette fucking Porter this season. So, are we? Well, let’s find out.

1. Don’t worry, it appears they learned their Dana lesson. Don’t kill off the fan favorite off in the third season. Period.

2. Look, we can’t help it. “Chasing Amy” came out at a time when even mere acknowledgment of female queerness meant it had to be rewatched dozens of times while falling in love with the leading lady. So of course we’re thrilled to see Joey Lauren Adams. OF COURSE.

3. Sledgehammers. Work gloves. Muscle tees. Handy dykes. Magic Mike moves. This is the gratuitous Top Gun beach volleyball scene, but for lesbians.

4. I absolutely hate this storyline, plus is this how we’re gonna see Bette and Tina for the rest of the season? Only on the other side of a cellphone à la Samantha in “And Just Like That?”

5. You know what, Silver Daddy Rosie is working for me this season. Also could this show finally be setting up its first butch-butch relationship? (Plus “Kegel and hold, kegel and hold. Don’t sneeze” is fucking funny. Look, I’m a middle-aged lesbian. That shit hits home.)

6. Stop trying to make throuple happen. It’s never gonna happen.

7. Tess and her mom can have lovely moments. Now if they’d only stop making her the relationship “villain.” Save that Hellraiser.

8. Also, if we’re talking villains, Shane is right there. Oh, Shane.

9. I sure hope they use Margaret Cho again this season. Otherwise this is the second show I watch (looking at you, “Hacks”) that has tragically underused this genius icon.

10. That said, this is a throuple I could actually get behind.

11. What’s with lesbians and oranges? “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.” “Orange Is the New Black.” Orange You Glad Lesbians Don’t Like Banana? (Sorry, my Lesbian Dad jokes show sometimes.)

12. And, we’re right back to disliking throuples.

Scrap Cap Extra:

What? I still own the same bra.